Summer Boy
by A Pin Drop
Summary: Roxas is a trouble maker. Sure his behavior will spiral out of control he is sent to live with his father, who owns a motel in Sedona, Arizona population 6, 517. It's sure to be one fine hell of a summer. Axel/Roxas Officially M
1. Act One, Scene One Prologue

Summer Boy

Summery: Roxas is a trouble maker. Sneaking out, underage drinking, and doing drugs with his friends his mother and step-father just don't know what to do with him. Sure his behavior will spiral out of control come summer Roxas is sent to live with his father, who owns a motel, in Sedona, Arizona population 6, 517.

Disclaimer: Do not own Kingdom hearts or any of the characters, except Fynn. He's mine.

----

Friday is when the working people of Twilight Town finally get to unwind, loosen their ties, take a break and start their weekend, looking forward to the relaxation that comes with 11:59 turning into 12:00, the clock bringing forward the official weekend. But for one household on Columbia Drive watching the clock turn from 11:59 to 12:00 was not met with cheers or smiles but with a desperate groan from a near hysterical mother. The woman, whose birth name was Anna but to everyone who knew her she was Daisy June or in the case of her kindergarten class Ms. Daisy, sunk in the large La-Z-Boy chair her husband more often than not occupied, and ran a thin hand through her unkempt brown hair then across her tired, slightly damp, stinging eyes and down her red snotty nose. This was the face of a mother waiting for her baby boy to finally come home from whatever dangerous, life threatening situation he was currently in and couldn't get away from right now.

And that better damn well be the case, Daisy bitterly thought.

Because Daisy had told to her son many times that there was to be no parties or beer or any other kind of drug anywhere near him ever again and he promised, looked her in the eye with his angel face and _promised_ that he would go no where _near_ any of those things, not ever again.

Now Ms. Daisy didn't know it now but as the narrator of this story I feel I must inform you: her baby boy had been lying through his teeth. The boy of this tale is genetically gifted for such acts. He inherited his mother's big blue eyes, her small lips in his perpetually in an unintended pout, his father's light blond hair, and together his parents gave him a face that echoes the cherubs in Michelangelo's work. Its almost impossible for anyone to consider putting blame on him. Its unfeasible to think him able of cons. Out of the question to accuse him of dirty deeds with that angel face innocently staring right back at you with wide eyes. But indeed this boy was no angel, he used every gift granted upon him to manipulate, sneak, and charm his way out of punishment, to get his way and then worm his way right back into your heart when he needed something.

Such was the case of Daisy, his mother, who suffered through nine months of pregnancy and seven hours of labor to bring this lying boy into the world. Again and again she trusted him and again and again he let her down. Daisy stared at the clock once more, 12:14 it read and then glanced at the door, no boy. Ms. Daisy shakily stood from the comfortable confines of the padded chair, crossed her new ivory chunky plaited wool rug and stopped at the windows, pulling the drapes away. Despair again crossed her features as she saw no sign of her son, not a trace of her angel. Daisy stood there a long time, as if her wishful thinking and tentative stare would bring him back and he came back on his own, she would be the first one to see him.

Two strong arms embraced her from behind but she didn't take her eyes off the street. She could sort of see herself in the reflection, with her husband behind her. Absently she asked in a soft voice, _Any news? _

She watched as he shook his head, her face falling again. Seeing this he quickly followed up, informing her of what he did know. "I did manage to get a hold of that Sora boy's mother. She had no idea that anything was wrong. She kept insisting that Sora said he was spending the night here and when I told her that Sora never came over she went real quiet. And then she was real helpful, said she would make a few phone calls to Sora's friends' parents herself and would call us back if she found out anything."

Daisy's face turned into a scowl. "I knew that Sora kid was no good. I knew it from the first time I met him. Just knew it."

"Now honey--"

"Don't. He is the reason my baby keeps getting in trouble. Ever since Sora came along all he ever gets into is trouble, always out late out night with _Sora, _out at a party with _Sora, _drinking with _Sora. _That boy is a bad influence," she ranted, her hands angrily leaving the drapes. She tried to force her way out of her husband's embrace but was caught at the elbow.

"Daisy, listen to me," he demanded. She didn't look at him but she did incline her head to let him know she was. "Now I know you don't want to hear this Doll but, it takes two to tango. You can't put all the blame on Sora. Sora probably didn't put a gun to his head and demand that he sneak out now or the other times nor did he--"

"No, No!" she screamed, frantically pacing around the living room, "He just succumbed to _peer pressure_, did it only to fit in, because SORA pressured him into doing it. He would have never done those things if he wasn't. I raised a good boy!"

"And you did for the most part," he amended. "But you have to realize that he did _do_ those things. I know that I don't have much say in this and I've tried to keep myself out of this only as a favor to you but I can't overlook this anymore. He's done these things over and over again and he'll do it again. No matter how much you insist it wasn't his fault he still did it again and again." Mr. June, known as Fynn, paused in his speech, letting his wife take in his words. "You're enabling him, sweetheart. He's using your kindness and compassion against you to get what he wants. I want everyone to be happy but I just don't see him stopping anytime in the near future." Daisy let out a despairing moan and fell to the floor, Fynn instantly coming to comfort her.

"W-w-what do I d-d-do?!" she sobbed, his words finally breaking that picture frame in her mind, shattering the glass that held secure her image of her son. "I-I-I just want m-my b-b-baby to be s-s-s-safe." Fynn embraced her, rocking her steadily until she calmed down. And together they sat there well into the night. Thinking and talking out plans to save the boy from his own doing. One desperate phone call was made in the middle of the night, securing the fate of a sixteen year old boy. At least for the next three months.

---

It was 4:12 when the boy finally came home. Daisy and Fynn left their sitting spot in the living room for the more comfortable kitchen chairs and were drinking coffee to soothe their erratic nerves. It was Fynn who first saw the headlights through the window. Both he and Daisy watched as the car looped around the culvasac three times before deciding on _their_ house and promptly parked half on the road half on the side walk. Fynn took Daisy's hand as her breath hitched. The car idled for several moments. Daisy couldn't see who was in the car from so far away but she was sure, call it mother's intuition, that her son was in there.

So she flinched when the driver's door and passenger's door opened quickly, expecting one of them to have her sons messy head of hair. From the drivers door came a figure who climbed out of the seat and clung desperately to the door for a moment. Another person crawled over to him from the other side of the car. Fynn shared an uneasy look with daisy.

"I have to go over there and help," she pleaded. But Fynn shook his head and retold Daisy of the plan. There would be no coddling this time, only tough reprimanding until morning. They would let him, for the most part, suffer under whatever drink he drank or drug he ingested until it ran out of his system and he was sober enough to converse with. So they watched as the two figures wobbled around, the smaller one falling over several times, to open the back seat door. After the small one stumbled on more time they started to tug on something in the backseat. Slowly but surely they pulled out something large and obviously unmoving. Daisy gasped as she recognized the form as the human sort. She frantically looked over to Fynn, a worried hand covering any sob that could dare to try to escape from her mouth. Fynn on the outside stayed calm and just clutched Daisy's hand harder but on the inside he grew increasingly shocked and worried as the person was dragged across the yard. The two figures both had hold of one arm and were pulling in short bursts, sometimes falling all over each other for several minutes before shakily getting up and making their way again. A soft moan of desperation and growing horror escaped Daisy and she tried to look away but it was like witnessing a train wreck, the utter disaster strangely enchanting and the shock freezing you to the spot you stood in, doomed to watch it unfold.

So they watched was the figures became two boys, illuminated in the porch light. One was taller and very lean but muscular, dressed in a simple white shirt and baggy jeans with chains all around it, the other small and simply skinny in a zip-up hoodie and what her son explained were skinny jeans. Daisy belated took in the crazy brown hair and realized that the smaller one was Sora. A numb rage shivered through her body.

From the kitchen they saw the two drag the body across the yard and onto the stone steps that led to the front door. When the body was viciously tugged up against the first step Daisy numbly but frantically burst into the living room to do…what? What could she do? Nothing she could do or even say could change the currant circumstances. Change what was going on. So Daisy simply stopped to again watch the uncoming train wreck that is her sons' life. The two conscious ones didn't even notice that the person they were dragging all around was being harshly scraped against the brick steps, again and again. From her better view she noticed something she hadn't before nor could from her vantage pint in the kitchen.

Both were shaking.

Daisy took one step closer in confusion. And then rage spread across her featured followed by disbelief. They were shaking in _laughter_. Giggles, chuckles, snorts, snickers, and loud belly laughter drifted under the door and to the house and into Daisy's ears. When by chance Sora turned she saw that there was a huge drunken grin on his face. Both of their movements were becoming increasingly sloppy and they crashed into each other mostly, both breaking out in laughter before trying to shush the other. They gave one last heave and finally dropped the body right in front of the door leaving the body's legs dangling over the side edge of the steps.

Fynn joined Daisy and together they watched as the two boys began to squabble, Sora shaking his head but still giggling, still smiling, the other they could know see better had long, very, very light blond hair kept encouraging him, rapidly nodding and insisting. Finally Sora shrugged his shoulders, relenting and stumbling over his feet to the door. They heard his cackling laughter and soon after…

The door bell ringing.

Neither Daisy or Fynn went to the answer the door, instead staring at the body that wasn't moving on their doorstep. Briefly catching movement in his peripheral vision, Fynn looked up and mutely watched as the two quickly ran away and into the car, the cackling laughter going with them. Screeches signified their departure from Columbia Drive.

At the noise his wife came into motion, let out a heartbroken cry and ran for the hardwood door, whipping it open with strength she didn't have before. Eyes widening, Daisy slumped against the door, crying out again and again, sobbing heartily into the night. Heavy breath-stealing sobs racked her body, Fynn coming behind to embrace her, silent tears running from his dark eyes. Daisy wept loud and hard for her baby, for whom she thought the worst. And this commotion -or perhaps the night catching up to him- the boy on the doorstep groaned softly. Daisy gasped sudden despairing relief and heartbroken joy, a smile broke form her face though she still wept.

Laying across from her was her baby, her little boy, her joy in life, the boy with the angel face and affinity to cheat and lie that she went through seven hours of labor to bring into the world. He still half way looked like an angel if you only looked at his facial features, pretty face still perfect though it had several scratches and was pushed roughly to the side, cheek mashed up against the brick.

His hair was a mess, to the point were he awake would have been appalled at, dirt and grass stuck in it with the occasional small twig. It was matted down in some places and pushed this way and that, not the usual way he preferred. He was a mess, shirt on backwards and riding up do to the way he was dragged across the yard, jeans sliding down also from the ordeal. In all of his pathetic glory of the night, the angel-faced liar extraordinaire, finally home, was Roxas Casey.

And so I have informed you of the story so far and I will now leave you to watch the currant events unfold for yourself, like a play if you will, its scenes and acts telling you the story of a boy becoming a man becoming a boy.

* * *

+So um... that's Summer Boy so far.

+ I am planning to update it maybe every week?

+I really do like this story and I kind've have everything planned out but I'm also working on Cult( which has been posted) and my other story Artiste(still working on it), so its actually kind've hard to say when exactly I'll be updating.

+Summer Boy is most likely only going to be four chapters, sorry!, but the chaptesr after this are going to be alot longer. My goal for this is going to be twelve thousand words.

+Does anyone have any guesses as to who Roxas's father is? C'mon I gave you guys a HUGE hint.

+All right that's all i got to say. Um stick around? Next chap: ACT ONE: SCENE TWO; Flyin' High


	2. Act One, Scene Two Flyin' High

Brace yourself, this chapter includes language suitable for only teens but often used by children five and up. :\

Disclaimer: Yeah i don't own KH. Not now, Not ever.

HAPPY READING!

* * *

Summer Boy

The boy, Roxas Casey, angel faced liar extraordinaire, was clutching the two arm rests at his sides for dear life, alternately cursing and praying to every god, goddess, spirit, prophet, and entity he knew existed. A sheen of cold sweat covered his face; his heart was thumping harder than he ever remembered; a product of the petrifying fear that was growing in the pit of his stomach, which, by the way, was doing back flips. He was absolutely terrified.

And the plane hadn't even taken off yet.

Roxas let out a long held shaky breath while glancing out his window. He gulped, eyes following the rapidly moving asphalt. Maybe picking the window seat hadn't been such a great idea. At first it seemed like a fabulous decision to him, thinking 'hey I'll get a window seat so I can watch the city disappear, count all the blue swimming pools I see, maybe even see the lakes and waters, oh!, and see the clouds up close, how cool!' but nooooo, not anymore. Now all the window promised him was a view when the plane's engine sputtering out, causing the commercial aircraft to take a nosedive into an ocean, never to be found, or into a building or house or mountain!

These were the thoughts of the sixteen year old as the plane gained speed, finally getting permission to lift off. He clutched the armrests harder than ever, sucking in what might be his last breath and squeezed his eyes shut as tight as he could, gritting his teeth, prepared for an immediate impact with the ground.

As the plane lifted into the open air, Roxas's stomach doing several cartwheels. The plane experienced slight turbulence as it gained altitude, unintentionally causing Roxas to freak out in his little window seat.

_Oh god, _he thought, _please don't let me die, I don't wanna die. _The plane shook just a little more but Roxas felt the quake in his bones, gripping the arm rests even tighter still, his knuckles became white and started throbbing. _Oh Jesus, fuck! _

Roxas let out a held breath, taking in and letting out a few more rapidly all the while he repeated _It's going to be okay, It's going to be okay, It's going to be okay, _again and again in his head but not actually even considering believing that it was going to be okay. This continued for several moments more before the blond gradually felt a little better, a little more confident now that the plane hadn't burst into flames. Yet.

The young man slowly opened one blue eye and seeing only the headrest before him, perfectly intact, he opened his other. He let out the breath he had been desperately holding onto, laying his head back and relaxing into the seat, gently closing his eyes in tired relief.

"Not a flyer, huh?"

"Hmm?" Roxas opened one big blue eye at his aisle partner, lucky bastard who smartly chose the aisle seat. Aisle Seat was a middle aged, slightly pudgy man with glasses and an unshaven face full of light stubble. He was wearing a brown tweed coat and had a briefcase on his lap. The man had surely been watching Roxas as the boy silently freaked out. Roxas scowled at the thought of his private moment being entertainment for the man.

Aisle seat repeated. "Not a flyer?"

Roxas laughed, really just a short huff of breath from his nose but accompanied with a tiny, tiny smile. It couldn't do any harm being at least a tiny bit polite, at least aloud. "No, no, definitely not."

"Oh, so is this your first time?" Aisle seat asked. Roxas's smile grew a millimeter larger as he considered the question, completely taking it out of context. He all out giggled in his mind considering telling the man with a devious grin, _Well, no sir. It's most certainly NOT my __**first**__ time. Is it yours? _

"Unfortunately, yes." Roxas finally conceded, hiding a wry smile. Aisle Seat gave him a surprised look, clearly shocked at the information even though he himself had inquired and suggested it in the first place.

The middle-aged man eventually nodded, giving Roxas, what he must have thought was a reassuring smile but to the boy it looked positively creepy and said, "Well, I've been on plenty of panes, for work," he explained though Roxas certainly did not ask. "And none of them had crashed." _Well of course not, you stupid fool, _Roxas thought,_ you wouldn't be here if they had, now would you? _"And in reality being in a plane is very safe, no matter what the news tells you. Actually, you are far more likely to be in a car accident than a plane crash. The probability is somewhere like four hundred to one." Aisle Seat informed him, looking very pleased with himself. _He probably prepared this ahead of time, just in case the opportunity occurred. _

"Well, what am I blabbering about?" _Yes what are you 'blabbering about'? Why don't you stop __**right now**__? _"Look for yourself." Aisle Seat motioned behind the blond and in his passive aggressive funk, Roxas actually turned to look.

His eyes met with serene blue sky, the sight surprising him for some reason. Out the window was a landscape of nothing. His last look out had been of dark tar and yellow and white paint on black asphalt which now had disappeared entirely from sight.

The ground that was below them was gone, just gone!, a thought that didn't terrify him as much as it had just moments ago. Maybe it was the clear crystal blue sky that calmed him, filling him with instead with wonder and joy as, from oddest angle he could tilt his head at; he saw the fluffy white trails of clouds. Roxas pressed his nose against the glass/plastic/whogivesashit in preparation for the sight. Aisle seat chucked at his behavior, idly thinking of how his young children acted on their first plane ride. He then blanched, remembering the terrible headache he had the _entire_ two hours of flight.

Just as the clouds were slipping into view, the pilot of the plane started talking through the intercom, snatching Roxas's attention away from the window. A small part of him was expecting the apologetic man to deliver terrible, terrible news.

"Passengers, this is your pilot speaking," Roxas rolled his cobalt blue eyes, _who else would be speaking? _"We have reached the point of ten thousand miles in the air; you are now permitted to turn on your allowed electronic devices." Roxas hurriedly grabbed his backpack, intent on fishing out his beloved and well-used ipod. "In a few moments your attendants will come over to take your order of drink. On board, we have an assortment of other beverages; wine, scotch, and vodka are five dollars per cup. We also have the energy drink Monster and an assortment of teas for three dollars. This is a cashless flight, credit only, we do not accept cash. It is currently 8:15; we are fifteen minutes into our four-hour flight. At this point the skies are sunny and clear and we hope this will be a pleasant flight for you."

Roxas put in his earphones impressed. Liquor for five dollars a cup? They were really getting every dollar they could out of their passengers. He vaguely wished for a Monster and even more so for a credit card as he shuffled through his artists, finding his most beloved band and selecting the first song of their first album ever, STARGAZING.

_Eternity's Bliss by Jupiter _popped up below a small picture of a shooting star and two dark figures below it, pointing up. A song started with a simple pretty sounding piano tune.

_My forever has never_

_Seemed so mystifying _

_This bleak landscape _

_Never been so terrifying_

The drums and guitar kicked in, a loud and fast beat joining the now flying fingers rapidly hitting the keys of the piano.

_C'mon, make me feel alive_

_Let's just take that deep dive_

_Forget all the things we'll miss_

_And take up eternity's promise of bliss!_

The fast beat became alive with its intensity, Sammy's almost screaming voice still the ringing loud and vibrant, even with the lack of quality. It was a self-made album, recorded in Sammy's own basement. Roxas went through hell trying to find it and eventually shelled out twenty dollars for it after spying it in an old record store that time he and Sora went to Traverse Town for a concert.

Roxas frowned at his barely visible reflection, grinding his teeth at the name. Augh, Sora. If only Sora hadn't dragged him to that bonfire and then to that party he would be home happily…doing something happily at home. Had it really only been two days since that night? It seemed so much longer to Roxas. So much had gone down that morning, augh… god. Roxas let out a hard, angry breath thinking about the morning, the whole day really, after the big party.

Roxas woke up with such a terrible hangover, the kind that leaves you momentarily blinded by pain. He rolled over in his bed, bringing his black striped (or maybe they were white striped, hmmm) covers over his head, bemoaning human kind and all of their alcoholic creations.

Wait a second……

The blond jumped. Bed? Covers? The last thing he could remember from last night was entering some house party. What else happened? How did he get home? More importantly where was his phone? His head pounded from all the hard questions, taking revenge by suddenly giving Roxas the intense need to throw up every thing he had ingested in the past twenty-four hours. This admittedly consisted primarily of a pop tart, a Whopper ("No onion," Roxas demanded. The last time his sandwich had not one, not two, but three onions on it.), and lots and lots of beer.

As Roxas leaned over the toilet and puked, he felt the sore pain in his shoulders and the raw stinging pain in his hindquarters, which at least gave him a stinging hint about at least one thing that happened last night. The blond groaned, half from the bleary hangover-morning exhaustion and half from realizing that there was no way his parents couldn't know that he was out late last night, especially since he was supposed to be home by nine at the latest.

The teenager sent a weary glance toward his bedroom door knowing that eventually he would have to go downstairs and accept his punishment. His phone, if he ever freaking found it, would be the first to go but was easy enough to get back, one good excuse about how he wouldn't be able to reach her in case something serious happened was usually all it took after a being sweet and nice and the perfect son for a few days. He would also be grounded, no doubt about it, a punishment that was easy enough to get out of with a few days of aforementioned good behavior. Overall, he was looking at the most a week of grounding. Really no big deal.

However, from Roxas's place on the tiled floor of his bathroom the idea of receiving all the yelling, accusing, crying was just too much for him in his currant state. It could all wait, he decided, for later. Roxas wobbled back into his room and flopping back on the bed. He covered himself with his white or black striped covers, glancing briefly at the alarm clock on his nightstand, scowling at the severely early time of seven.

Six hours later Roxas awoke to the sun's rays lighting up his room. The blond moaned, twisting and turning to find the most comfortable position that gave him the most cover from the bright sunshine. All of his efforts however only proceeded in waking him further, taking him farther and farther away from his own little dreamland. He rolled over to check the time on his alarm clock. 12:34, huh. There was no choice but to admit defeat and start his day.

His mouth felt gross, Roxas noted. In addition, his head still hurt, from the activities of last night, though he didn't know exactly what those activities were. His backside hurt, also from the activities of last night, this one he could guess. Feeling all around nasty and gross, he made his sleepy way to the bathroom, to officially take inventory of the damage done.

The face in the mirror looked nothing like him. A pasty face looked back at him with blood shot eyes and dark bags. His hair was greasy looking, like he hadn't washed it in days, a byproduct of all the gel and mousse he usually put in it, but it also looked like there was mud or _something_ dark in it.

Roxas leaned forward, scrutinizing the blond locks further. He raised a hand attempting to grasp at something, the reversal of the mirror tricking him several times with the actual location of the object. He hand went too far back, too far in front, too much to the left, too much to the right. The mirror had an unfair advantage on the hung-over teen. Roxas finally positioned his fingers in the right place and plucked out the item lodged in his hair.

A little green leaf.

Roxas frowned. How did a leaf find its way into his hair? Just what the hell was he doing last night?

Okay first thing that happened yesterday; the last two finals of the school year, which Roxas was sure he did well on. Next; Burger king with Sora to celebrate the end of the school year. Then; Sora called Kairi. After that; the two went to the bonfire at the beach, they drank a little (okay more than a little), and Riku, an older boy Sora was on-again off-again with, handed them a blunt dutifully smoked. And later still; Roxas blurrily remembered entering a house, a whole bunch of people dancing, people laughing. But he definitely remembered accepting a small pill from Riku who promised him it would 'make him fly'. Roxas gladly took it and the rest of the night was blank.

The blond groaned, Jesus fuck. Of course Riku would do something like that. Of course. Roxas sniffed at his clothes. God he smelled. Take a shower now, access the damage later, he decided.

But unfortunately, actually in the shower, he couldn't help but be aware of all the red marks adorning his skin. 'Love Bites' Sora called the ones he gained with affection. Most of these 'love bites' were artistically placed around his chest and neck but a small few were present around more personal places that only in private Roxas would blush about.

He took the time to wash away the night's sweat and…other bodily juices, Roxas grimly noticed. He averted his eyes, wiping away the filth that was left behind, a movement that was almost second nature now. His hands had all but memorized the action.

It made him fell sick to his stomach.

-----

Roxas flinched, fingering a raw bright red blemish. It looked like some of the wounds he'd gotten from way back when, in the days he skateboarded. The teen hovered on the thought for a few seconds, remembering how obsessed he used to be, before turning back to his reflection.

In the end, Roxas had fished out several tiny twigs from his hair, two more leaves, and found there was a new scrap on his lower back and another quite like it on his shoulder blade. There were also several nondescript bruises on him; they had no particular pattern or similarity in size.

These scratches and bruises were a complete mystery to him so he summed them up to the night he couldn't remember. But one person immediately came to mind when he thought of who would know how, when, where and why they made their home on his skin. Sora, Roxas's partner in crime.

Sora would know everything that happened last night, Roxas was sure of it. Even if he didn't know first hand the boy was such a social butterfly with a few phone calls (he preferred them over text, way more personal) to the right people he would find out. Now if only Roxas knew _where_ his phone was.

There was so much junk just lying around that it required Roxas to actually clean his room to look for his small black cell phone. When he didn't find it the blond let out a frustrated groan from his spot on his bed. There was only one place it could be when it wasn't on his person.

His mother had it.

Shiiiiiiiiiiit.

The blond teen fell back to onto his bed, becoming extremely exhausted and irritated all of a sudden. He scrutinized the ceiling.

Roxas, well…he loved his mother. He did. But she was just so…god what was the word? Over bearing. Stifling, really. It was as if she didn't want him to experience life at all. Or 'leave the womb at all' Sora said one day. Go to school, come home, eat, study, and sleep. That was the life she wanted him to live.

But Roxas….well he just didn't want that life anymore.

The cookie-cutter routine just wasn't for him. He played along for fifteen years, it was time he stepped out and did his own thing, an idea his mother supported until he actually made new friends and started having a real social life. Roxas rolled his eyes at the ceiling. Now all she did was nag, nag, nag, saying 'look at what you're doing to your poor mother!'.

Roxas was sick of it. He wanted out.

Now Roxas, strapped to his window seat on a jet plane, thousands of feet into the air wanted nothing more than to deal with her nagging, her crying, and her overbearing pride as a mother. He wanted to be home, right now. Roxas looked at the shapes the fluffy clouds made, the sky an endless sea of white foam. Like his favorite song, like the view out his window, his own landscape was looking bleak. And it terrified him because he had no clue what was going on. Roxas had no inkling of what was going to happen. He could only hold onto the promise that in three months everything would go back to normal. What he thought was normal. At least semi-normal. He could settle for semi-normal.

The last time he had a taste of normal had been on his bed that morning, two days ago. And that all shattered into bits and pieces when he finally gathered up the nerve to go down the stairs. Ahh, the sound of life as you knew it falling apart.

Actually, the sound of his life as he knew it falling part sounded a lot like sizzling. The blond was stumped. This… was not how these sorts of mornings went. At all. mornings usually started off with his mother being silently pissed at him and Fynn being pissed at him because Roxas made his wife pissed which only made Roxas pissed at Fynn because…well… These mornings are just a catalyst for angry moods. They were not begun with the sound of, if Roxas's nose was right, _bacon_ being cooked.

Out of habit, he stopped at the last step to peer out. Huh. No one was in the living room. Roxas hopped down to look into dining room. No one again. From behind him, he could hear the sizzling growing louder, the fat bubbling and popping to make an unsettling background noise. His blue eyes become worried. This had never happened before…it was a new development to which Roxas didn't know how to react to.

For a second he dared to wish that maybe she didn't know what happened last night, he had gotten away with it and this was just any other morning to her. After throwing the idea around it started to actually make sense. The reason why no one was in the living room waiting for him or patiently sipping coffee at the table preparing an apt punishment for the night's activities was because _they didn't know_. No way they would make him _breakfast_. I mean c'mon. It would be completely ironic. Making breakfast for the kid you're going to be punishing? No one does that. It's like putting salt in a wound.

Satisfied with this Roxas turned on his heel toward the kitchen, eager to fill his empty stomach. From the greasy smell coming from the kitchen the blond figured the breakfast would do wonders for his hangover. His stomach growled, agreeing.

The teen opened the kitchen door with gusto, smile widening as the smell intensified all around him. His mother, Daisy June, clad in a lilac apron, spared a moment from over the oven to smile a teeny tiny smile at him before turning back. She didn't look mad, Roxas noticed. This was a good sign as she wore her emotions on her sleeve. She did look tired but Roxas summed it up to recovering from running after toddlers for the past five school days. He noticed that Fynn wasn't in the room, another good sign although for different and more personal reasons. But it couldn't hurt to ask the whereabouts of his stepfather.

"Sooo, where's Fynn?" Daisy, to her credit, hesitated only a fraction of a second at the sound of her son's voice. Wasn't only yesterday he was still talking in baby gibberish? Now he sounded like a man, voice deep with no hint of the cracking that plagued him only two years ago.

"Oh…he'll be back. Left for the jon just a few seconds ago." Daisy clicked off the boson burner, letting the bacon sizzle for a few seconds more. It was a vice she had, cooking. The direction and order in making a meal always calmed her, soothed her out of whatever emotional mess she found herself in. However, this escape always got out of hand. She made about fifty pancakes, too many hash browns, a whole carton of sunny side up eggs, and about six fruit cocktails waiting patiently in their bowls. "Why don't you start eating, honey? There's plenty."

Something akin guilt came over her as she watched Roxas fill his plate, thinking _how can I let him think that everything is okay, everything is alright only to blindside him ten minutes later? _She kept remembering when he was a little boy and how he just lit up when he saw pancakes on the table. Even more so when he saw the--

"Ooooh! Cherries!" Daisy smiled. _Some things never change. _She placed the plate of bacon next to him, half moving to his plate in seconds. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Fynn re-enter the kitchen, _But some things do. _

Fynn paused when Roxas came into view giving the boy a wary look that Roxas didn't even notice. The two always gave each other wary looks. It was the nature of their relationship.

Fynn and Daisy exchanged a look while Roxas scarfed down another pancake. He had that impatient look but Daisy gave him her absolute glare. The one that stopped many an inappropriate joke and took garbage bags out. Fynn sat and grumpily read the paper.

Daisy wanted at least one more normal morning with Roxas. At least another hour before everything changed. Daisy watched him devour yet another pancake, she smiled quietly to herself. She knew it would upset him. She knew how the boy was. In another hour he would probably not want to look at her at all. But she could deal with it. It's what's best, after all.

Roxas sighed happily, sitting back rubbing his stomach with a satisfied look on his face. His pretty blue eyes shined with joy. "Great breakfast mom. Fantastic." Roxas stacked his plates and bowls on top of one another, sliding off the chair.

"Oh, you don't have to do that. Here let me take them for you." His mother said, quickly taking them and washing them off. Surprised, but pleased, Roxas turned to leave.

"Roxas, honey, don't go. I have to talk to you." Roxas jolted. Oh god. His hands were sweaty, his heart pumping with panic. Shit.

The legs of the chair groaned against the tile of the floor, like it was telling Roxas it was sorry. Suddenly he was acutely aware of all the noises in the kitchen. Dishes clacked together as Daisy washed them, the paper Fynn was reading swished as the page was turned. He could actually hear the clock on the wall tick and tock. Only after Daisy had scrubbed every speck of food off the plates did she turn to look at Roxas.

The blond boy knew this situation. He was an expert on it lately. She would tell him how upset she was, Roxas wouldn't say anything because that only mad her more angry. She would take things away, where Roxas would whine a little about that because if he did not look upset she would take more and more away. Then she would angrily dismiss him and Roxas would pretend to be upset so she would feel like she made an impact.

"Roxas," she began. _I am so disappointed at you. I'm so upset by how you act lately. Why are you being like this? You're acting like a hooligan. You are not allowed to go out anymore. I am taking your phone, your computer, your games…blah blah blah. _Roxas knew it all.

However, she surprised him, this time. She took a deep breath and said quickly, "Roxas, you're going to live with your father for the summer."

……What?

The blond choked out, "Excuse me?" She wanted him to do what? Roxas studied her again, mouth agape. She looked relieved, as if she just shook the world off her shoulders. She relaxed, every muscle unwinding. He didn't even notice how tense she was. She fixed him an apologetic look.

"Roxas, I know you're going to be upset but just hear me out. After what happened last night…well I just cannot ignore this any longer. You lie to me all the time now. And if I tell you not to do something you're just going to do it anyway." Daisy shook her head, if only for her own sake. "And next time, well Roxas, I'm afraid next time you won't make it home." Tears started up, blurring her vision. She wiped them away, angry for being so emotional when she needed to be firm. "After all you could have easily died last night."

The teen furrowed his eyebrows. He was lacking quite a bit of information, vital knowledge that prevented him from knowing what the hell was going on. He muttered to himself. "What the hell happened last night?"

Daisy laughed bitterly. "Well I know what didn't happen. You didn't come home after I _told_you too." Roxas gritted his teeth, swallowing the angry remark he desperately wanted to say. But Daisy's eyes were glued to his face. "What? What, you think I'm an idiot for wanted my baby safe at home during the night?"

"I'm not a baby anymore!" he bellowed. Fynn glared at him, setting down his paper, ready to barge in if the boy got too out of line. But Daisy handled it well; the night had officially ripped something out of her. Perhaps the need to abide by her beloved only son.

"Oh, yes. You're a big, strong, man now aren't you?" Narrowing her eyes at her boy, she continued. "Because only a man can go out and get so 'plastered' you're unconscious. Because you have _a right _to do what you do. What, you think you're entitled to this?"

"I'm just trying to have fun! To actually live a little!" Roxas pounded his hands on the counter, halfway standing up as he leaned forward on them. Daisy didn't cower, she didn't cry. Instead, his anger calmed her down.

She took another deep breath, flicked her eyes at him once and said to the floor, "And it looks like so much fun. Coming home at four in the morning, covered in the night's _filth_. When you're lying unconscious at our doorstep at four in the morning, it looks so much fun." Roxas flinched at her cold words. His mind was reeling.

"….what do you know?" Roxas asked softly, his blue eyes softening, losing their anger. He sat.

Daisy leaned forward on her side of the counter, opposite of Roxas. Her baby looked so lost. It would help him see himself if she told him the way she saw him. "We were so worried. You didn't come home, so we waited up, making phone calls to your friends. We only knew a few of them."

He snorted. "You called their parents?"

She nodded, considering that maybe from his point of view it was a stupid thing to do. "Yeah, but no one knew anything. So we stayed up, waiting for you to come home. I didn't get a wink of sleep last night. Only after you came home could I sleep, but even that was for a few hours. It's why I'm so tired this morning." She waved a dainty hand around, dismissing the train of thought. "Anyway, it was around four when you finally got home. Fynn and I, we…we saw headlights going around and around the culvasac," she illustrated.

"The car finally stopped at our house," Daisy laughed. "They did a horrible parking job, dug up a lot of dirt." Daisy stopped for a moment, looking at him with those big blue eyes that were so much like his and Roxas felt extreme guilt as he saw tear well up but not spill over yet. "I just knew you were in there. I just knew. And two people came out." _Two? _Roxas thought. _Who would…? _

"And they came around, opened the back seat door and…and they started tugging on something in the back seat." she said, shaking her head softly. "And I thought, what could they possibly doing? But whatever it was finally came loose and fell out and I was so scared." She stared at him sadly. "'Cause, Baby, it was _you_."

Roxas's breath hitched. What the hell? Who would…who would do that to him? Daisy patted his hand. "Of, course I didn't realize it was you until they came closer but we could tell it was a person. That part was so scary because I didn't know if you were dead, alive, in a coma, or what. I just didn't know."

Roxas choked out, "Who?" she looked at him quizzically. "Who were they?"

"Oh," she said quietly, looking down at their hands. "Well, Roxas. Promise you won't get mad."

He laughed. "Oh course I'll get mad mom. Why wouldn't I?"

"Oh, well I guess that makes sense. Well just. Why don't I just give you the whole story and then tell you who they were? So you'll know everything." It sounded like a good idea to Roxas, but then again he was growing more and more out of it.

Daisy flicked back a piece of her unwashed messy brown hair. She was starting to regret telling him this now. "Well…are you sure you're alright? Honey, are you sure you want to know?"

He looked at her, eyes dull. "Yes, mom. I have to know." I need to know whose ass Sora and I are going to kick.

She blew out a breath. "Well. First off, let me tell you that they were drunk. Falling all over each other. It took them ten minutes to actually get to the front of the house. They dragged you." Daisy bluntly stated. "They dragged me?!" Roxas gaped. She nodded, wisely.

"All across the yard. By your arms." His mother jolted. "Oh my god, I can't believe I forgot to ask, are you alright? Physically? They didn't pull a joint out did they? 'Cause I've heard that it sometimes happens when you're dragged that way, with all the jerking." Roxas rolled his shoulders, the dull pain from earlier intensified with the movement. He winced, nodding. She frowned deeply.

"Hmmph. Well, after this should just lay down, I'll get you an ice pack later so it--"

"Mom." Roxas said evenly, eying her. She smiled her apology for getting off track.

"Well as I said, they dragged you across the yard. And well, Roxas, they were really drunk; I don't think they knew exactly what they were doing."

"What did they do?" Roxas pressed.

She sighed. "They dragged you up the steps. By then I moved into the living room to see better and I noticed…" She frowned, thinking. "I….Roxas…they were laughing. _Laughing_. I was so mad…" She shook her long brown locks. Roxas felt his stomach sink. He felt so violated, so angry, and so terrified. His mind kept coming back to the pain he felt at his backside. Oh, fuck. What if they…? Oh, God. The thought made him want to throw up the breakfast he just ate.

Daisy took a moment to collect herself. "I just. I couldn't believe it……I couldn't move." She bitterly laughed, as though what she was laughing about of was not funny at all. "_They rang the doorbell, Roxas." _She locked in on his cobalt eyes and held them. "They rang the fuckin' doorbell. How sick is that?" Roxas absently thought the sickest part of that was his mother using the word fuck.

"Roxas, I'm not sure what all exactly happened last night but this is not the way for a friend to behave."

"A friend?" Roxas said. "What makes you think this person is a friend to me?" But she looked at him with pity as she exploded her final word-bomb.

"It was Sora, honey. It was Sora who did this." Roxas gazed at her in disbelief but when her blue eyes did not waver the tiniest bit, he grew incredulous. And increasingly desperate.

No, no. Sora was his friend. They were… best friends, right? He spent the entire year with Sora, they were as thick as thieves, two peas in a pod, they were best fucking friends. He absently ran a hand through his messy blond hair. Sora would never to this to him, not in a million years. He shook his blond locks wildly.

"No, Roxas. I'm telling the truth. I saw him with my own two eyes. He was laughing, he dropped you on the porch, he rang the doorbell. He and some other longhaired boy I don't know. They drove you out here, drunk as heck might I add, and they just deposited you here like you were garbage and this was the city dump. "

Roxas let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. His chest felt heavy, were he a chick he would be balling right now. _His best friend_. What the hell? This was so messed up. He really needed a cigarette.

"You see why we want to get you away from this?" Daisy asked him gently. "These people you surround yourself with, they aren't good for you. You need to get away from their influence." She spoke softly, but firm, enunciating each word slowly for optimum understanding. Roxas nodded numbly. _His best friend. Holy fucking hell. _

"Good. I'm glad you understand…Roxas, I'm so sorry this is the way everything turned out. If I could change the way it happened I would. I just want you to be safe and happy." Roxas nodded again. He was not looking at her, instead he was intently studying a small stain on the counter-top, wondering how it got their.

He realized suddenly that the stain was like this incident and the counter was his life. It was only one stain but he might never be able to wash it off, he might always have it. And he might have more stains that come into his life, some he can wash away with time and others he would have on him forever. Then he realized how weirdly poetic this thinking was and instead he asked his mom a burning question that had been on his mind for the past few hours.

"Mom, do you know where my phone is? I have to make a call."

* * *

(1) Ch. 2 Finally up! took a bit longer than expected to write up. expect most t of SB to be this long.

(2) once again i have very limited internet access right now,shit really hit the fan, so when i get a chance ill update CULT and then follow up with another SB.

(3)I love love love love love it when people review!! its a proven fact that reviews make writers right faster. scientifically proven in fact. so if you like SB then click that little rectangley thing and tell me so!!

(4) much love!! :]


	3. Act One, Scene Three Hard Landings

Disclaimer: I disclaim the ownership to any and all kingdoms hearts stuff.

FYI: there's a lot of phone conversation in here and the talics change with the pov. I don't think its that hard to follow though.

HAPPY READING, READERS!

* * *

Summer Boy

"Brring."

"Brring."

"Brring." Roxas shook his leg with teenage impatience. It had no rhythm to it, but the rapid movement made him feel loads better. On the other hand, maybe it was the pacing around his room that took the edge off the situation. Or maybe, possibly, it was the small hit he took a few minutes ago. It could be anyone of those things, really. But he wasn't in the mood to sit down and ponder about this. He desperately needed answers and the one person he knew would tell him and the one person he so hated in this moment was his best/ex-best friend Sora Taylor.

"Brr-- Hey!"

Roxas sighed in relief. "Sora about time I--"

"Ha-ha, psych! You got my answering machine-- wait I don't think I have-- anyway, you got the beep, you know what to do." Roxas flipped his phone shut in irritation. He had forgotten about Sora's stupid answering machine message. He was actually the one to suggest that Sora do one like it after six other failed attempts of tradition greetings. He sighed and flipped his phone open again.

324-7020. The holy seven digits. The seven numbers that both girls and boys alike wanted so desperately. Now that Sora had a new number and thus extremely minimized the people who had access to him the seven digits were even more desirable. Because if you had those numbers, you were in. Although now that everyone had to put in the area code it should be ten digits, he thought. But whatever. He pressed the phone to his ear once again.

"Brring."

"Brring." Brring, brring, brring, brring, _Hello, how are you?_ Jeff Lynne sang in his head. _Have you been all right, through all those lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely nights? _

"Brring. " _That's what I'd say. I'd tell you everything. If you picked up that _**telephone. **

"Brring." Roxas shook his head. Sora wasn't going to answer, he probably wasn't even awake. For God's sakes, the boy was known to sleep fourteen hours straight if you let him. It was stupid to try to call him at one in the afternoon, as weird as the thought was. He himself hadn't woken until an hour ago and who knew what time Sora actually made it to bed.

"Br--" There was no point in calling him. "Rrin- Ugh, whahuhuhuuuht, Roxas?" Sora whined. "It's so early! Why do you do these things to me?!" Roxas heard scuffling and a loud thump on the other end. "Owwww."

In spite of himself. Roxas laughed. "Did you smack your head on the head board again?"

"Shut up!"

"Okay, okay, okay."

"Augh, god, Rox. It's like… one!"

"I know."

"In the afternoon!"

Roxas rolled his blue eyes. "I'm aware."

Sora huffed loudly. Shuffling ensued, a sound that sounded like bed sheets being rustled. Hopefully Sora wasn't counting on going back to sleep anytime soon, Roxas thought, because he sure as hell wasn't letting the boy go now that he answered the phone. When he was done Sora was going to wish he turned the damn phone off or at least just let it keep on ringing.

"Sora." He sighed. "What the fuck happened last night?"

Half the town away in the little neighborhood division of Bell view, snuggled in many blankets and sheets, Sora Taylor laughed and then grimaced at the stab of pain it brought on. "Last night was crazy," he said. "I'm not surprised you don't remember."

Beside him, a large lump in the sheets moved then stilled and groaned. Sora giggled. "Yup, it was just _wild_." He poked the lump. "Wasn't it? "

"_I don't _remember_ what happened last night, Sora." _

Sora clicked his tongue. "Oh, not you." He let out a yell and jumped on the lump. It groaned again under Sora's weight and tried to wiggle out from under him. "Ha, ha. You have a tough night, Riku? Hmm? Hmm?" he dropped the phone onto the bed in favor of finding the edge of the comforter and whipping it away. It revealed a mess of long silver hair and pale, strong naked shoulders.

Sora ran a hand through his own messy brown locks, trying to make himself presentable. He should have brushed his teeth before waking him, damn. Too late now. He trailed little butterfly fly kisses from the other boy's back to his neck. He nipped and licked at the sensitive spots before nibbling on the boy's -Riku's- earlobe.

"Hmm, Riku Winters?" Sora whispered. "You have a _rough_ night?" He softly panted in the other boy's ear. "I did."

The platinum haired boy moaned. One pretty green/blue/gorgeous eye peered out at him; a lazy smile worked its way across his handsome face. "Ya did, didja?" Sora smiled his sexy smile. Riku turned around to better face him. He lay back on the bed putting his hands on Sora's hips. "Well, maybe we can a make a rough mornin', huh? I hear it does wonders for hangovers."

"Oh, does it? Haven't heard that one before." Sora said slyly.

"Mmm, it's 'cause it's a secret only people out of high school know about."

Sora widened his eyes comically. "Ooohhhh." Riku nodded wisely. "Should I know about this? After all I'm still a little school boy."

"Don't worry," Riku breathed. "It'll be out little secret." Sora giggled and fell forward to lock lips with the older boy, hands moving to his light colored hair, usually silky and soft but now full of tangles and knots.

"_Sorrra." _

Riku hissed and moaned as Sora unintentionally pulled on his hair. _"Sora!"_

The brunette pulled away to apologize but a skillful grind from Riku assured him all was well and forgiven. Sora descended to his neck in thanks, grinding against the boy.

"_SORRRRAA!!!" _The brunette groaned in exasperation. He pushed off Riku, the older boy moaning in despair as physical contact disappeared. _Cockblocked_, he thought. Sora was having a fit trying to find the small phone that disappeared somewhere in the many blankets that covered his bed. Riku stretched, giving his muscles the room to expand and tense.

"Aha!" Sora cried. Riku watched him dully, twisting over onto his stomach and eyed the tan expanse of bare skin on the sophomore. "_Roxas_," he groaned. "Whaaaat?" Riku groaned at the name. That little blond twink Sora was always with. And they looked eerily alike, like long lost identical twins. Riku blinked. That was actually pretty hot. Why hadn't he had this thought earlier? Oh wait, _he had._

"I need a cigarette," he said, getting up and opening a drawer. An emergency pack of Camels was hidden underneath several different colored spiral notebooks. He popped it open and took one out, squeezing it for freshness. The last time he needed a smoke they were all stale and unusable. Thankfully, these were still good. In addition, the emergency lighter still had fluid. He was _set_.

"Oh, Roxy. Don't be like that. I only set the phone down for a second." Sora said. "Of course to smack lips with Riku, who else would it be with?" Riku rolled his eyes at Sora, Roxas and the whole situation. He sat back on the bed and lit his cigarette.

"Roxas, stop being a little bi- Riku! Open a window, for Christ's sakes….Huh? What? No I'm not listening to you, you're screeching like a little girl, calm down." Sora put his hand over the receiver of the phone, giving him a steady stare. "Riku I'm serious. The smell of the smoke isn't doing much for me. In fact, it's making my hangover worse. I think I might be feeling a bad case of nausea coming."

Riku stood up and walked to the window. As he pulled it open, he thought, _Damn, I am whipped. _The second thought he had was, _Holy fuck, I parked the car in the yard. _He blew out a trail of smoke, clicking his tongue several times. He took several more long drags before sighing. "I gotta go re-park the damn car." Riku smashed the cigarette against the sill. His clothes were all thrown across the room but he only really needed to wear jeans to look half way presentable to his neighborhood housewives, who were, no doubt, taking notice of the fact there was a car parked on the lawn and gossiping all about it to their little housewife friends.

Sora furrowed his eyebrows. "Car? Why?" The brunette walked to the window in all his glory and busted out laughing. "Oh my god. Roxas, Riku just fuckin' parked the car in his mother's fuckin' pretty little yard. Oh, she's gonna be so pissed." Sora laughed.

Riku sent a deadly glare his way at the mention of his mother. Paine Winters was away with Riku's father on vacation to the Bahamas' and was due back in three, no, make that two days. And in those two days, Riku had to cover up any and all evidence of the wild two weeks he spent in their absence. Why they thought it was a good idea to leave their eighteen-year-old son alone for two weeks when he didn't have school and had many rambunctious friends was beyond him but he made good on the time he had.

And boy did he make good. He kissed Sora on the cheek and said loudly to the phone, "So, Rox. How's your ass?" Sora smacked his chest and pushed the laughing boy out of the room.

"Don't listen to him, Roxy, he's a jerk. I know, I know, you told me so. But well, you know… So what did you call to tell to about?" he asked.

Roxas groaned. He spent the past few minutes finding out next to nothing and just bantering with Sora. He needed to step up. "Sora."

"_Mmhmm?" _

"What. Happened. Last. Night." On the other line, Sora giggled.

"_Lots of things happened last night. The most important of which is that Riku and I made up! Isn't that great?"_

"Superb."

"_Well, you don't sound too happy. What's on your mind?" _

"What happened. Last night." He demanded.

"_Well, Jesus. Umm. Well…we…went to that bonfire at the beach. We got soooo high." _Sora laughed. _"Riku always has the best stuff. Aaaaaaand then we went to some chick's house party." _Roxas gritted his teeth.

"I need more than that. Give me details."

"Well, okay, bossy." Sora huffed. He wrapped himself in Riku's blankets, a belated show of modesty. "Okay, if you really want to know. I'll tell ya everything I remember.

"Yesterday….let's see. School ended yesterday! Those exams were killer. I think I totally bombed Chem. We went to Burger king, the one on Queen's street? They're the best one around. Anyway. You got your grilled chicken thing, no onions, and I got that yummy shroom and swiss. Mmmm. I wonder if I can get Riku to pick up some King for breakfast."

"_Sora." _Roxas reprimanded.

"Right. Back on track. We ate. I called Kai. She said that Selphie told her that Tidus and Wakka were throwing a bonfire at the beach for the end of the school year. It went by so fast didn't it? Those two are gonna be seniors next year, can you believe it? And we're going to be juniors!" Sora squealed. "I can't wait. Anyway, so Kai told us the where and when. We hit the shops to look at shoes and then ran into that weird Naminé chick. The one that wears all white like she's a virgin?" Sora snorted.

Roxas rolled his eyes. He knew of Naminé. She was a ho. Kept trying to get in his pants, too, even though she knew full well he was gay. Trying to make him a project of hers, maybe. Trying to make him straight. Nothing she could do Roxas hadn't already tried.

"So she said that she was going to the bonfire and afterwards she was having a party at her place. Parents were gone on business trips or something. So she told us we should go and we were all cool and said, 'Perhaps, we shall' like little preppy shits. Kairi called, asked where we were she was gonna pick us up in her new car!!"

"_She got a car?!" _

"Hell yeah, she got a car. Her license too. A pretty red Corvette. Lucky rich bitch. So she took us to the beach. And man! It was packed, everyone was there. Like eight fires were lit. Umm, Riku was there. Went out of our way to ignore him at first but after a few beers," Sora chuckled. "Well, things change."

"_Apparently so." _Roxas murmured.

"Oh, Roxas. Don't be mad. He makes me happy."

"_Yeah, happy until he screws someone else. And then you bawl your eyes out and say how you'll never forgive him."_

"Oh, that was one time!"

"_It was twice. I know, I was there with you." _

"Augh, anyway. We made up. He told me how much he missed me and how he could hardly stay sane when he was away from me. He told me he loved me and how sorry he was." Roxas snorted. "No, Rox. I'm serious. I could see it on his face. He was _racked_ with guilt. So I took him back. We're dating again." He happily announce. Roxas kept his tongue in cheek.

"_And then what happened?"_

"And then me and Riku went back to the bonfire, we found you and as an act of good will he gave you a blunt. Pretty nice of him if I do say so myself. My baby's so compassionate. So we smoked and we laughed and had fun. It was about eleven and the scene was getting old so we bummed a ride from Riku."

"_Riku? He was stoned!" _

"No, he didn't take a hit. And he hardly had any beer at all! He was practically sober! So he drove us to Naminé's 'cause I didn't want to end my night early, wanting to celebrate the end of school and all, thank god! I don't know if I could have dealt with another day in Mrs. Merriweather's class anymore, I would have died. And I knew that Naminé has all those poser friends so it was bound to be a good place for at least a few hours. So we get there right? And it's just, wow. It was wow. Kids all over. Just spilling out of the place. Cars everywhere, there wasn't any place to park at all.

"We get out, you, me, and Riku. We go in, the music's loud, everybody's dancing, everybody's laughing, everyone's having fun. I go and get a beer for us but when I went back well, you were gone."

"_What do you mean 'gone'? As in baked?"_

"No, you just like disappeared. I wasn't worried; you can take care of yourself. So me and Riku split your beer and we talked and talked and made out and talked. Then we danced. Riku had these pills with him, Ecstasy, I think. I didn't want one 'cause they make you really blank and I wanted to remember tonight, you know since we just got back together in all."

"_So that's it? You just lost me?" _Roxas said. He was baiting Sora, using what he already knew to test his ex/friend.

"Hmm? No, no. We found you again. Had to save you from Naminé's slutty clutches.

"_Naminé?!" _

"Yeaaah! My little Roxas, riding the village bike. I just couldn't do it. We pulled you away, Naminé started bitchin' up a storm."

"_Thank god. Ugh, she's so gross."_

"I know right? But apparently at the time you thought otherwise." Sora said slyly.

"_What? I didn't like do her, did I?" _

"No, I told you I wouldn't let you do that. But I thought I should have 'cause you wanted it _bad_."

"_I did?" _This was news. Roxas hadn't wanted a girl since he was twelve.

"Yeah, major woody. So me and Riku took care of it." Sora said simply.

Roxas felt his stomach fall. His hands were clammy and shaking. Oh, shit. Oh, motherfuck, this was so screwed up. He and Sora…well they had a strange relationship. Best friends with benefits would be a good summary of it. But they hadn't had sex in three months, after Sora officially got over Riku for the fifth time and no longer needed the comfort of being intimate with someone. After that, Roxas told Sora he did not want to be used for that kind of thing again. Sora was his friend and if he wanted it to stay that way they needed to stop. And Sora had agreed whole-heartedly.

"So what," he laughed. "You guys fucked me? Like some slutty freshman whore? Is that it?"

"_What? No, Rox. Just you know, helping you out. I don't know why you're so upset that we all had sex. I've fucked you before. You've fucked me. And Riku's fucked you. I don't know why it'd be such a big deal." _Roxas sputtered on the other line. _"What you thought I didn't know?"_

"I...I--I just," Roxas couldn't even form a correct sentence. God, he had been dreading this day. He knew it was a mistake a second after the fact and knew it would be the end of him.

"_Chill out, Rox." _Sora said calmly. Why wasn't he pissed? Roxas slept with his boyfriend. Sora should be screaming at him, cussing him out, and telling everyone what he did thus ruining Roxas's social life and shunning him from the world he was now accustomed to. _"Roxas, it's okay. Really. If I were mad, I would have made it loud and clear when I found out weeks ago. You were pissed at me, I understand. Riku told me, Rox. I couldn't be mad at you. You're my best friend. Don't cry." _He added.

For Roxas had started sniffling and choking on his sobs. _"Just breathe in," _Sora breathed out to demonstrate, Roxas following with his own shaky breathe. Pretty soon the wave of tears had left him. This morning had been so weird. And then Sora said the words that jolted everything back to him.

"_I would never do anything to hurt you. Nothing. Ever." _The brunette promised.

Roxas started laughing. It started as soft breathy laughter and then escalated into louder chucking into full out belly laughter. Sora, not knowing what really was going on but liking the sound of it joined in halfway through Roxas's emotion breakdown. It only lasted about two minutes but it was enough to screw unloose a few nuts and bolts, leaving him desperately and heart brokenly mad. The kind of angry that is so full of sorrow that to anyone but the people who knew you inside out, upside down, and ass backwards would even recognize. And even then, it would take a few thoughtful moments to understand.

"Nice to know that, Sora," Roxas giggled. "But I think you left out a big part of your story." Big fat tears rolled down his grinning face.

Sora hesitated. _"…What are you talking about? I don't know what part you're talking about." _

Roxas took in several deep shuddery breaths. "The part where you dumped my unconscious body on my porch for my parents to find."

Sora felt his heart tug. _"Uhh."_

"The part," his best friend continued. "Where you rang my motherfucking doorbell like some sick game of ding dong ditch."

Sora's deep blue eyes widened. Jesus, where the hell was Riku when you needed him? That boy could spin a perfectly believable excuse out of thin air whereas Sora needed to spend a few hours thinking one that would even be plausible.

"_The part,"_ Roxas, Rox, Roxy said with that sad voice of his. "_Where you laughed as you did it." _

A part of Sora just wanted to rip out his heart right then and there to stop this emotional beating he was taking. Yes, he picked up Roxas, who fell dead asleep after reaching his climax, into Riku's car, but he did it to try to sneak Roxas back home. Yeah, he ended up just leaving Roxas on his doorstep, but because it was almost morning anyway and someone would find him in an hour or two. Yeah, he rang the doorbell but that was only to quicken the process. Yes, he laughed but he was a naturally happy drunk. His imaginative mind came up with all these excuses quickly now that it was imperative to have them but it couldn't convince his mouth to form the words.

But Roxas did not need words. Silence had said everything. _"Well, I hope you had a fun time with me, Sora. 'Cause because of your _idiocy," Roxas spate the word. "_I'm being shipped off to the middle of nowhere, Arizona."_

"Arizona…" Sora wondered aloud. "Isn't that where your father lives?"

"_Yup, and thanks to you I'll be staying there 'for the mean time'. The mean time being _the entire summer. _By August, my mother may have decided that I should live there for the rest of my fucking life, Sora. Thanks for that, So. Really. __Thanks.__"_

"Oh, god, Rox. I'm so--"

"_You know what? I really do not want to hear it. I really don't care what you have to say or what your excuses are 'cause you already fucked me over. And nothing can change that, no matter what you say." _

"Roxas!" Sora cried. "You're my best friend, you know I would--"

"_No, your right. I do know you. And I know that this is exactly something you would do. And I can't look over it anymore. I can't forgive you."_

"Jesus fuck, Roxas. I forgave you just a minute ago for sleeping with my boyfriend! You can't even consider letting me apologize?"

"_I'll let you apologize_," Roxas said. Sora let out a sigh of relief. _"When I'm ready to hear it." _BEEP.

He…

He…hung up. Sora let the phone down from his ear. Roxas just hung up on his. Roxas, was moving to Arizona? All because of a stupid drunken mistake? He might never see his best friend again? It was his entire fault. The thought hit him like a brick. It really was all his fault, wasn't it? And Roxas might never want to see him again for it.

Hysterical, he dialed Roxas's number back. He didn't answer. He dialed it again. No answer. Again. It went right to voice mail.

Desperation, confusion, sadness, anger, and hopelessness broke him down. His gut felt like it was perpetually in a knot; he felt like he had been tied to a cannon ball and tossed out to sea. He couldn't breathe with his chest tightening like this. He couldn't see with all these tears flooding his vision. He couldn't deal with all the shit that happens around him without Roxas, who understood him, so looked passed his faults, who saw things in him other people didn't even care about. Roxas liked him for _everything_ he was. The world could hate Sora Taylor but as long as Roxas Casey would stand by him, he would not even give a shit.

So that's how Riku found him, curled up in a ball, bawling his eyes out. No matter how hard Riku held him or how long he massaged Sora's back or how soothingly he whispered into the brunette's ear, Sora would not stop crying. Even after three hours went by and Sora had no more tears to let out, the boy would not smile, would not laugh, and would not even get up. He lay in Riku's bed the whole day, clutching his phone, hoping Roxas would call him so Sora could say how so, so, so sorry he was.

----

_Thunk, thunk, thunk _went Roxas's head against the window. The blond winced and clutched his injured forehead. He glanced around, confused for a second before realizing where he was.

"Good Morning," Aisle seat said. Roxas squinted at him. His vision was all blurred up. "You fell asleep," Aisle seat offered. "You also missed the first round of drinks, though the flight attendants should be around again sometime soon. Oh, and only two more hours! Sure goes by fast when you're in dreamland, huh?"

Roxas nodded sleepily at this information.

_I'm falling out of love_

_I'm falling out of, falling out of love_

_Falling, I'm falling_

_I'm falling,_ Matt Hales crooned. Sometime during the flight, his ipod had switched to shuffle. _I'm falling out of love _by Aqualung had just finished and _Give Me One Good Reason _by Blink-182 came on. Roxas tapped his foot to the beat, closing his eyes and snuggling into the window again. It sounds weird but he had limited space so he had to make due.

But he couldn't fall asleep, no matter how long he closed his eyes and didn't move a muscle, his mind would not take another break. This long plane ride gave him nothing more to do than think about the past few days. So think he did.

Maybe he handled the situation wrong, he thought. When a friend forgave you for doing something bad, you usually do the same for them. Real friends forgave each other for mistakes they made and that made them better friends. What does not kill you makes you stronger, after all.

However, the repercussions of what Sora did were much worse than sleeping with someone's boyfriend, a part of him argued. Roxas made a simple, albeit stupid mistake. It was not a big deal. What he did do did not put someone's health at risk or removed them from the tri-state area entirely. What Roxas did wasn't as bad when you looked at what happened afterward. Life went on as normal for Sora after he found out what Roxas and Riku did.

But in saying that implies, the other part said, that if Sora freaked out and screamed and hit and said things to other people, would what you did it still not be as bad? If Daisy hadn't been staying up to wait and Roxas just woke up in the morning, let himself in, and went to bed like normal, would what Roxas did still be not as bad as what Sora did?

If Roxas had woken up and the morning gone totally normal and found out later what Sora did, would he be so upset? Or would he laugh, because that's what friends under the influence did and you shouldn't take it that seriously? Because shit happened and it wasn't that big of a deal, no one got hurt. Would he be with Sora right now? Laughing about the whole thing and checking out boys in the mall?

It made Roxas's head hurt.

The fact of the matter is, he thought, was that what happened, happened. No amount of what-ifs or maybe's can change that. Sora did this and now Roxas had to pay for it. What Roxas did didn't turn Sora's life upside down. This whole thing had changed life as Roxas knew it, he needed to think on if he wanted these things that he and Sora do for fun to continue.

From the day he met the charismatic boy, Roxas had been tossed into a new exciting life. Everything was different from what he knew, more real, more…more like he was getting a taste of what was out there in the world. He was expanding his views on the world, becoming more cultured with every hit he took, every sip of something alcoholic he drank, every kiss he had with people he didn't know all too well.

It may have cost him a few, okay all, of his old friends but if they didn't like this new Roxas then they didn't like _him_ and he was glad to see them go.

Now Roxas massaged his aching head and wondered if he should have gone to that first party after all, if it was really worth it. To trade in three of his oldest friends who stood by him for the past ten years for nightlife and drugs and people who only cared about their own satisfaction. Were those nameless, faceless people equal to Hayner, Pence, and Olette?

Roxas didn't throw the thought away as he usually would have at the first pinprick of pain he felt in his gut but kept it floating around, waiting the day it could be answered.

What would he be doing right now, if he hadn't ditched them?

At the skate park?

At their usual hangout place under the trams?

Waking up at Hayner's because they had a sleep over?

At Olette's? Pence's? Would he still be pretending to be straight? Would he have a pretend girlfriend? Would he have come out to them by now? Would they hate him? Would they accept him? If they did, then what would happen? Would Hayner be weird around him? Would pence? Would Olette want to go shopping all the time with him and look at boys the way he and Sora did just a few days ago?

To many questions, he decided. To many questions that didn't have answers close at hand. But isn't that life? To go out in the world with questions and look for answers?

That wasn't his life.

----

"I wake every evenin', with a big smile on my face, and it never feels out of place,"Axel crooned. It was hot, the sun blazing up above him. However, going 65 on the high way, with the top down, the wind in your face, well you just don't feel it. But Axel knew that tomorrow when he woke up he sure as hell would feel the tough Texas sunburn he would have all across his arms and neck. Maybe if he took his shirt off he could eventually get a nice tan. He threw the thought away. He wanted to able to get up in the morning after all.

_And you're still probably workin',_

_At a nine to five pace,_

_I wonder how bad that taste._

The little radio was bursting the lyrics out as loud as its little mechanical heart could let it. Bless its hypothetical soul. It was song that had been on the radio for quite the while, by someone called The somethin'somethin' Rejects. These rejects had pretty good songs, very catchy and singable. The first time he heard it he missed his exit 'cause he was paying too much attention to the lyrics. He laughed aloud at some parts and, as the songs faded out, was left to wonder which part of the song he was lying about.

_When you see my face, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell, _

_When you walk my way, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell, _Axel sang bitterly. He didn't have anyone in mind but to add to his usual monotonous drive he liked to spice it up with really getting into the top fifty songs that played on the radio.

_"_Now where's your picket fence, love?"Axel teased spitefully. "Where's your shiny car?"

_Did it ever get you far? You've never seemed so tense, love. _

_Never seen you fall so hard. Do you know where you are? _

Axel missed the last few lines trying to spit out a piece of bright red hair that found its way into his mouth. Here it was, the chorus!

"Truth be told I miss you,"he sang tunefully to the desert road and its other travelers.

"Truth be told I'm LYING!" He screamed. The poppy beat was coming back; he bobbed and swayed in his driver seat. He absently flicked on his turn signal and smoothly crossed into next lane.

_When you see my face, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell, _

_When you walk my way, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell._

That was the part that always got him thinking. Was the singer lying about missing the girl? Was he lying about hoping his song hurt her and gave her hell? That seemed pretty cold to him.

_When you find a man that's worth a damn_

_And treats you well_

_He's a fool; you're just as well, _

_Hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell. _

Axel turned his signal on again alerting the total of three people that were pretty far behind him he was switching over to the next lane again. This time it was for Exit 1016, the little pictures of fast food logos and gas stations under it had lured him in.

_Now you'll never see what you've done to me _

_You can take back you memories; they're no good to me_

_And here's all your lies, you can look me in the eyes_

_With that sad, sad look, you wear so well! _

This was obviously a 'you hurt me, I hate you so much I'm gonna sing about it' song. Could he lying about the whole song, including the take everything, get out of my life part? Hmmm. Or perhaps it was just a 'you hurt me, I hate you' song all along and he really did just want this chick to know how bad she hurt him and how he was getting over her.

Axel knew music. He knew that in lyrics there were meanings that the listener would never know or even guess. There were things in a song that told about its background, its reasons for being. Either to vent, to apologize, rage, to profess love, entertain/tell a story, give a warning, advice, anything. A song can be used to get rid of any sort of demon. Anyone can guess about the song's story but the only one who knew the true story was the lyricist and that was a special sort of ownership, the owning of between-the-line meanings and emotions.

Of course, it could also be that the song was made to be made, a hollow tune with no reason to it, created only to be catchy and singable.

Axel belted out the last few words, giving the song every emotion that might be missing from its letters and chords.

----

After his hanging up on Sora, Roxas felt so accomplished and so alone. He had other friends but they were such fakes and would gossip about everything he said. Sora was the only one he could trust with things said in anger. And now that he pushed Sora away he had no one to talk to.

He lay on his bed, feeling tired and desiring the comfort of the blackness of sleep. But even his dreams were plagued as throughout those four hours that he slept he dreamt of swimming. He hadn't swum in the longest. He forgot how much he loved to feel the warm water around him. But that only lasted for a few seconds.

In his dream, he had to get somewhere fast and it was only a little while away. He thought, _I'll be there in no time_. The currant was easy, smooth, he swam peacefully. But…he never got any closer to where he wanted to go. It might appear to be a hundred strokes away and he might take twenty strokes before looking up again but it always was still a hundred strokes from him. He did this for hours and hours, going forward only to find himself to be exactly where he started. Eventually he decided to go back and try again later.

When he turned and started swimming back, the currant became so much stronger. It stormed. For every three strokes he made he was pushed back two. The waves had no mercy for him. They overcame him, surrounding him with cold, cold water, taking his much-needed air away from him. Roxas would surface, gasp for breathe and go again. The currant was too tough; it took so much from him to make so little progress. It was starting to look hopeless.

He lay on his back, floating in the harsh waters. He gave up and let the water take him wherever it wanted. Soon he felt himself sinking and he grew alarmed. He could drown! He didn't want to drown….

The blond never got to see if he was going to survive the swim or if he would sink to be bottom of the ocean. He was shaken awake. He groggily slapped the hands away and turned his back. He wanted to know what happened to him.

"Roxas." The hands were at him again. "Roxas, wake up. We need to talk."

The blond groaned. He turned, squinting at the person interrupting his sleep. "Whaddya wa'n?" he asked his mother. "I sleepin'."

"I now, honey. But we need to talk more. And it's dinner time. Six o'clock. It's your favorite; Chinese."

"Chunese?"

She smiled. "Sure is."

Roxas grumbled and sat up, swinging his legs off the bed. Daisy smiled. "That's what I like to hear."

Mother and son walked down the stairs and into the kitchen where cartons of Chinese food were placed on the table. Roxas was happy to see that they had the Happi Dragon logo on the sides, fierce dragon face contorted into a huge grin. It, by far, had the best selection of all the Chinese places in town.

Roxas was so delighted by this that it only after finishing his first helping and going in for a second did he notice that someone was missing from this scene. "Where's Fynn?"

Daisy paused in chewing her sweet and sour chicken. She rolled her eyes upwards as if she could see the information in her brain. "Ummm… Oh! The office called, they had some computer problem and needed him to come down."

Roxas nodded. Fynn was some big shot computer guy at some company or something. They were always calling him down for some reason or another. They ate in silence, which Roxas glad for. There had been too many things said today already, there was no need to say anything more.

However, of course as soon as Daisy finished her meal she cleared her throat for some long speech. Roxas, with his mouth full of Mushu pork and white rice, couldn't stop her before she began. She fixed a steady gaze on him. "Did your phone call go well?"

Roxas thickly swallowed to answer her. "Yup."

She raised her eyebrows in surprise. "What happened?"

"We talked."

"Is that it?"

"Yup."

Daisy frowned. This was getting her nowhere. She folded her napkin on her lap several times before starting up again on a different note. "So the day after tomorrow I'll drive you to the airport. You have a pretty early flight so we'll have to leave around six."

"In da morn'n?" he asked through a mouth of food.

"Yes. So wake up before that so we will be ready on time. Your flight is actually at eight so we'll hopefully have enough time. Depending on traffic and all," she said. "Your father will pick you up at baggage."

"What am I supposed to _do_ there?" He asked. "It has a population of, like, three hundred."

Daisy nodded and took a sip of her diet Coke. "You'll help out at your father's motel."

"Work? Are you serious?" The idea was laughable. He had never worked a day before in his life. What was he going to do? Staff the front desk the whole day?

"Very serious. It'll give you something to do. You could be spending your summer on a chair by the pool instead. Now you will have something to do. And you'll get paid!" she added.

Roxas frowned. "What am I going to do?"

"Ohhhh. I actually don't know," she confessed. "The normal things you do at a motel? Clean rooms? I don't know. It's supposed to teach you responsibility, whatever it is you do."

Roxas chewed on his food thoughtfully. Work? For the summer? At some grungy motel his Dad owned? Well how hard could it be? Kairi worked at the country club and she said it was easy, how different could what he'd doing be? So he nodded in agreement to his mother's words. She perked up at his gave in to her words.

"So tomorrow you'll pack and the next day you're on the plane."

------

Aisle Seat was right in his prediction. About ten minutes after he said such the flight attendants came by to take another order of free drinks. The woman, maybe twenty, twenty-five, smiled kindly at them but her mismatched blue and green eyes said otherwise. It was rough, wearing heels for four hours straight on a flight, walking back and forth to check up on passengers who looked at her ass when she left. Roxas felt for her and gave her an encouraging smile as he order a Coke.

He just about wanted to hit Aisle Seat when the man turned in his seat to glance appreciatively at her backside. Roxas saw a gold wedding band on his finger. What about his wife? What a pig. Roxas said nothing though. He really wanted to, but what good was it going to do? He could reprimand people like Aisle Seat all day, doesn't mean they will change anytime soon.

There was only an hour and a half left of his flight. When they landed, he would in Arizona and would be bombarded by the heat. There was no humidity there, Roxas knew. Though temperature got up to the hundreds in the summer, which was more than Roxas had ever experienced in his life. He was sure to die from heatstroke. Would he be able to survive this summer? It would be like living in hell but with less sinners and flames. Or in a sauna but with less people in towels.

Roxas sighed in his chair. The clouds went on forever outside his window. Here and there, they puffed up but mostly it was just a massive flat sea of white foam. Even though he was miles and miles away from home, the clouds looked the same. Maybe everywhere the clouds looked the same. The clouds from Twilight Town the same as those in New York and those were the same as the ones in Shanghai and they resembled the ones you could see in Kyoto and those looked awfully similar to ones in Mexico City.

Maybe it was the same in people as well. A friendship in France could be like one in Germany and in Italy and or in Brazil, Canada, South Africa, Egypt, Israel, Lebanon, Mongolia, or India. Maybe there was another Sora somewhere out in there. Another Roxas. And maybe those two had much better luck.

Roxas thought more on his situation, only snapping out of it when the flight attendant brought his drink to him. Roxas smiled his gracious smile and thanked her. She left with a little perk in her step. It was always a plus when cute boys on planes were nice instead of checking her out constantly and being crude. To bad he was gay, she thought. He would have been perfect for a friend of hers. If only he was ten years older and straight.

If only.

------

"Passengers, this is your pilot speaking. It is now eight forty-five in the morning. Our four-hour flight is almost over. We are about fifteen minutes from Phoenix Airport. The weather in Phoenix is hot, at a scorching 90 degrees outside. Thankfully there's little to no humidity in the air so it only feels like the high seventies. At this moment, please turn off all electronic devices. We will be landing soon."

Fifteen minutes, huh? Roxas wrapped his earphones around his ipod and shoved it back into his backpack. It had been at least six years since he spent any good amount of time here, four since he spent any time at all in Arizona. Had anything changed much? Would his Dad look the same? Would he even recognize Roxas? Of course, he would, Roxas thought. Mom sent him school pictures every year; he should be able to connect the person to a picture. Hopefully at any rate.

If taking off was frightening then landing was even worse. He could hear the gears in the wing close to him move as they shifted. Why were they changing? Why did they need to? Was something wrong and they were trying to compensate? Was this normal? No one else seemed to be freaking out, screaming so Roxas calmed down. The plane went through the sea of clouds, little droplets of water streaked across his window. When the clouds disappeared, a maze of houses and green lawns became clear. Roxas started counting the little blue orbs of pools. This was Phoenix. And all around it was deep desert land, uninhabitable to the common city folk, used to their iced coffees and air conditioning.

The plane started getting closer and closer to the ground. Roxas started looking out for the airport. Was that where they were going to land? Or how about there? In that clearing? The plane started to veer left in the other direction. Is the airport over there? Gradually but surely the large air craft port came into view. Roxas tightened his seat belt anticipating the rough landing. He had never been on a plane before. Whenever he would go visit his Dad, Roxas's mother would drive half way, his Dad drove halfway to meet her, and they exchanged the child to one another. They did because after nine-eleven Daisy did not trust airplanes and would rather take a few days off to drive Roxas to Texas and give him to his father. He was sure he had been on a plane before that but he couldn't remember.

So it was all a new experience to him and he couldn't say he was disappointed when the plane descended and hit the pavement. The sound of the jet trying to slow down on the cement was frightening. It was what he imagined a meteor to sound like when it hit the ozone. A loud whirring noise all over. For a second Roxas was afraid that the plane wasn't stopping. They were still going so fast! What if they lost control of the plane and ran through the protective fence around the airport and onto the highway like on the news a few years ago? Shit, that would suck.

However, fortunately for his bladder, the plane gradually began to slow and soon they were slowly moving to the gate. Roxas let out a long held breath. That had possibly been the most frightening experience in his life so far. Roxas groaned. And he would have to do it again in three months. Actually, he thought. If he had to go back on a plane, he would be going home, right?

He couldn't wait to relive this most fearsome experience.

"Well passengers, we have landed successfully in Phoenix. Those of you staying on board and going to our next destination, Los Angeles, California, please stay sitting. Our flight attendants will count you after all other passengers are off board and you can move around however you please. For those of you leaving us, we all thank you for choosing Southwest airlines. We know there are many airlines out there and it means a lot that you choose us. For those of you who live here in Phoenix, welcome home."

The light illuminating the seatbelt image went out with a cheery _ding! _An orchestra of clicks went through the cabin, including Roxas's own. He was pretty far back so he just stayed put. Men and women sat up to get their carry-on from the storage bin above, everyone seemed so eager to get out and leave. Row by row the plane emptied and he was now free to go. He smiled at the flight attendant at the front, the same woman who served him his drink. She smiled brilliantly back at him.

The airport was packed. So full of people scurrying around, he even saw a man sprinting down the long halls, so many people in one place. If Roxas remembered right, the town his father lived in probably had the same population of people as the airport.

Roxas followed the yellow signs above him that pointed forward to BAGGAGE CLAIM. A few minutes later, mostly spent walking down a horrendously long hallway and down an escalator, he found himself in BAGGAGE CLAIM. He scoped the hopeful looking people for a familiar face.

"Roxas!"

Said boy turned and with a smile greeted his father. "Hey, Dad. How you doin'?"

Donald 'Don' Casey shrugged. He was a big man, tall and kind of chubby around his middle, like many a middle-aged man. He had the same golden locks of his son though his was now receding visibly. His face was…. handsome in a way. He had a rather big nose, though. "Not much, boy. Not much."

Roxas nodded, motioning towards the multiple turning machines with suitcases circling around them. "Okay, let's, uh, let's go get my stuff." Don nodded and together they found the particular baggage conveyor belt and waited in silence until Roxas's white and black suitcases came by. He had two large suitcases full of clothes and books and other things he thought he would need. He might have over-packed, each one weighing in at around forty pounds by itself. Don let out an 'oomph' had he picked up the second suitcase.

"Okay, boy. Let's go to parking. I'm at K15." Don informed Roxas, who wasn't quite sure if he liked being called 'boy'. The parking place was a long strip of pavement, white stripes indicating where one should park, tall towers with large numbers on them poked out randomly from the ground. To the right was one that proudly showed the letter K.

"Over there," Roxas pointed. They made their way to it, down to 15, and to an old truck. If Roxas knew anyone in Arizona he would have been embarrassed to get in but being the way things were he just loaded his suitcase into the back, a feat that required the help of his father.

"So," Roxas said as he shut the car door. "Mom said I'm workin' for you this summer. What am I going to do?"

Don started up the truck, glancing at the boy. "Well, whatever Yuffie wants you to do."

"Yuffie?"

"Uh, she basically runs the staff at the Lion. The Flying Lion, that is. You will be working there this summer. Honestly, I won't be there much. I have to oversee construction a town over for the new Lion."

"Oh." The blond said.

"Yeah, sorry kid. I didn't know you were coming until, well. A few days ago." Don said. "I would have made to sure to spend some more time with you but being what with the way things are I just couldn't take the time." Don glanced over at the boy. "That's okay, right? I figured you could fend for yourself."

"Oh, yeah," Roxas said quickly. "It's fine, don't worry."

Don nodded slowly. He pulled into a small ticket booth where he paid an older woman for the hour he parked. He pulled out and turned into the busy road.

"How long does it take to get to Sedona?" Roxas asked.

"Oh, about two hours. If the traffic's good."

Roxas groaned in his head and looked out his window admiring the scenery passing him by. Three scorching months in the little town of Sedona, Arizona, hours away from any real city life he was used to.

It was sure to be one _hell_ of a summer.

* * *

(1) I have never been to pheonix, I don't even know if "Pheonix air port" exists. (2) Ahaha! Roxas's mom and dad are donald and daisy duck! Did you see that coming? I thought it would hilarious to have the ccute little roxas be the son to two pretty ugly characters in the game. I know i'm weird. (3) I actually LOVE namine. It made me sad to do this to her, BUT IT WORKED. (5) THIS IS HELLA LONG. I DID IT IN TWO DAYS! OMG. Twenty freakin pages, baby! Just about killed me. (a lie) (6) that song about telephones is Telephpne Line by ELO (EDIT) Songs in this chapter also include Falling out of love by Aqualung, Give Me One Good Reason by Blink-182, and Gives You Hell by All-American Rejects (End EDIT)

(7) I love it when ppl review and would like my readers to give me input on a question i have, its like seriously important; DO YOU want to have pretty frequent chapters that are shorter in length(think half of this) or a long one like this that takes a few more days to write up?

(8) THE FUN BEGINS!!! bwahahahha :]


	4. Act One, Scene Four Moving Fast

Summer Boy

"Hey there Delilah, what's it like in New York City?" Axel sang. "I'm a thousand miles away, but, girl, tonight you look so pretty, yes you do," he crooned to the stars above him. They twinkled and shined brighter than in any city Axel had ever been in. New York, Indianapolis, Chicago, Nashville, Houston. The pollution in the air hid the stars away and airplanes, satellites, and radio towers replaced the lights that should rightfully shine in the sky.

"Something somethin' somethin', bright as you, I swear it's true." Out here in the desert, everything is pure. Everyone a hard working citizen who paid their bills and taxes, getting by day by day on what they earned from their honest living. Unlike many people whom Axel had encountered. People who profited by lying to and stealing from these honest workers. They all but hunted down persons who would listen to their spiel and ran with the money that poor sap gave them. In New York, Axel watched helplessly as an old woman had her purse stolen from her and no one around her even so much looked her way as she screamed for help. Axel would have jumped to her rescue but the subway makes no stops for any one person.

He only stayed two days there, sickened by the apathy of the cities' citizens.

"Hey there Delilah don't you worry about the distance, I'm right there, if you get lonely, give this song another listen, close your eyes. Listen to my voice it's my disguise, I'm by your side," he murmured, crossing into the next lane.

But out here in little towns like Pride, Texas, if a lady had her purse stolen at least three guys would go running after the thief and they wouldn't stop until they got her purse back. In Pride, everyone knew everyone and everyone liked everyone. The townspeople were kind to travelers like him. A little girl named Nala shyly gave him a daisy, "For friendship," she said. Axel spent a week and a half in Pride, discovering its colorful history and colorful people. He watched an older couple re-say their vows to each other after fifty years of marriage, an act that filled him with awe and joy.

"Hey there Delilah I know that times are gettin' hard but just believe me girl, someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar," he promised. "We'll have it good. We'll have the life we knew we would, my word is good." The stars only got brighter the longer he drove, a combination of the night growing older and the distance he was putting himself from civilization. If he read the map correctly there should be an exit coming up on his right pretty soon. One that hopefully had a decent motel that wasn't too infested with cockroaches and other tiny unwanted guests. He didn't want to wake up with tiny bite marks on his skin again, not after Chicago, no siree, he most certainly did not.

"Hey there Delilah, I've got so much left to say, if every simple song I wrote to you would take your breathe away, I'd write it all. Even more with me you'd fall," he predicted. "We'd have it all." Axel bobbed his head along to the simple acoustic beat of the love song and checked the time on the radio. Twelve thirty-seven was lit up in a bright neon green but Axel knew it ran five minutes ahead and the time was really twelve thirty-two, making it now Saturday. The clock had been that way for four years and he just didn't have the heart to change it now, it was like a keepsake, an electronic memorabilia, a memory of good times all by its glowing self.

His exit should be coming up in less than a second. With his head lights illuminating the road in front of him and with how alert he watching for any signs or intersecting roads, there was no way he would miss it. And he already knew every word of the song playing so he couldn't get distracted. But the second passed in vast desert and there were no green signs announcing EXIT AHEAD. He continued in spite of the growing worry that he already passed the strip of motels and restaurants.

"Thousand miles seems pretty far but they've got planes and train and cars, I'd walk to you if I had no other waaay," the red head whispered to himself. There were no other cars ahead of him or behind him; he was alone on the long strip of asphalt. "Our friends would all make fun of us and we'd just laugh along because we know that none of them have ever felt this waaay." Perhaps he hadn't gone as far as he thought or had gone too far. He wanted to check the map but was afraid that he might miss the sign in the ten seconds it took to figure out where the hell he was. Ahead of him he would only see the black, black night, the moon only a sliver in the sky and offered no light to him. He squinted to better see any shapes in the dark road ahead.

From what he could see there weren't any cars coming toward him that he could crash into if he looked away for a second. No one behind to crash into _him_. "Delilah, I can promise you that by the time we get through the world will never ever be the saaame and you're to blaaame," He muttered, moving inch by inch to the right of his seat. The map was in the glove compartment, which never ever held gloves for Axel's poor cold hands, and it was always a chore to get it out and back in. The lock had been faulty since the day he bought the car and took three to four hard smacks to shut it closed.

_Hey there Delilah, you be good and don't you miss me. _Axel took one last look at the dark road ahead of him and lunged for the switch. He flicked the latch but it didn't open. He took another glance out at the road and tried again. Second time must be the charm because it swung open, two pairs of sunglasses flopped out along with several beat up old maps for different states that he'd been to recently, Louisiana, Arkansas, Tennessee and the currant Texas. Axel cursed as they fell.

_Two more years and you'll be out of school and I'll be making history like I do. _He spared another quick glance to the road before leaning all the way down to the seat to retrieve the state map of Texas. He fumbled through the thick folded pieces of paper with one hand and keeping the car going straight with the other. As he was busy doing this his headlights illuminated a greed sign that pronounced EXIT and showed the picture of the McDonalds logo, a Subway logo, and a Motel 6.

_You'll know its all because of you; we can do whatever we want to. _Axel grinned and laughed victoriously as he flipped over a map and saw the words WESTERN TEXAS. He sat up, taking the map with him and concentrated on the road again. He didn't hit anything but he did end up in the other lane, which could have been problematic if a car had been driving in the dead of night like he. He quickly opened the map to the general area that he was in. If he was right then he must've passed it a long while ago, possibly when that rap song came on and he paid more attention to turning the station than the road.

Axel sighed. Looks like he was sleepin' under that stars tonight, the coyotes and wandering ax murderers his only company in the night.

_Hey there Delilah here's to you, _

_this one's for you. _

----

It was hot.

Roxas gripped the hem of his shirt, pulling it off his sweating chest and letting the air cool him. He did this several times, the air coming fast and leaving fast. He had half the mind to just take of his drenched shirt or to hang out the window like a dog and feel the breeze passing him by. But his Dad hadn't even broken a sweat yet, no droplets forming on the top of his forehead, no dark patches on his chest or underarms. How could he not even notice how hot it was? How could he not be sweating like a pig like Roxas was? Roxas looked out the window with wide, uncomprehending eyes. How could he be used to this weather? How had the uncomfortable sauna-like heat become normal to the man? How long did that take to happen?

Roxas wiped at the sweat on his forehead. He stared at the window opener for a long moment. _Can I open the window? _He'd say. Or instead, more formal, _Could I possibly open the window? _Maybe go with what he'd say to his mother, _It's so hot!! I'm opening the window! _

Roxas could envision it happening ten other ways, he could see himself asking, see himself opening the window feeling the air whip into the car, instantly cooling him, he could almost feel the cool wind against him. There was no reason for his Dad to say no, so why couldn't Roxas open his mouth to ask the simple question? His Dad wasn't that intimidating to him, was he? Roxas stole a glance at his father, studying his profile. For one, it was definitely most of his mother's looks that he inherited. For two, there was nothing in his face that could inspire fear in Roxas, there probably wasn't one violent bone in his body either.

But Roxas couldn't help but feel a little weird in being in the same car as the man after so many years. Don came out to Roxas's junior high school graduation but besides that event two years earlier, they hadn't seen much of each other. Phone conversations were every once in a blue moon and they only lasted a good ten minutes before things to talk about dwindled. So maybe it _was_ that this stranger before him, his father, was making him unable to form a smart sentence that went along the lines of 'Can I open the window, please?'

Roxas took in a deep breathe, berating himself for thinking this and thus keeping him from having the cool air in his face to ward away the vicious heat. He turned to his father and dared to ask in a small voice, "Do you think I could open the window?"

Don looked over to him. "You say somethin'?"

The blond said in a louder voice, "Can I open the window?"

Don's bushy light brown eyebrows shot up. "Oh," he said. "Sorry, kid. I didn't realize it was getting hot. Yeah, yeah sure go ahead."

Roxas cranked the window down as fast as possible. The car, moving at 50 miles an hour, picked up a lot of air passing by. Roxas's light hair flew back at the ferocity of the wind, instantly cooling him. He hung an arm out the window and leaned out to better be hit by the rapidly moving air.

Beside him, Don chuckled, a wheezy duck-ish noise. "Don't have this kind of heat out there in Twilight Town, huh?"

Roxas shook his head in the wind. "No, it's pretty mild out there. Not too hot in the summer, not too cold in the winter."

"Huh, well. We don't get winter in Sedona."

The blond turned to him, curious. "You don't?"

Don glanced at him before looking back at the road. "At least not how you know winter. Our winter gets down to sixty degrees, don't even think about having snow."

"No snow?" Roxas gaped. "Really?"

Don nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, it's wild. Really different here than there. It might peak at hundred degrees this summer but you'd never know it. There's hardly any humidity in the air so it never feels like it's actually very hot."

"I dunno," said Roxas. "Feels hot enough to me."

His dad laughed. "Weeeell, you'll get used to it eventually. You'll have to. Don't worry," Don said. "You won't die of heat stroke. It's highly improbable."

Roxas rolled his eyes. "If you say so. How long do you think it'll take? For me to get used to it?"

"Oh, about a week or two," the older man guessed. "Depends on how much time you spend outside."

Roxas nodded but a thought came to him quickly. "Will I _have_ time to go out side?"

Don thought and after a second clicked his tongue, switching over into the next lane. "Can you swim?" Roxas frowned at the weird question.

"Um….yeah, I can swim. Why?"

"Yuffie might put you on life guard duty. The pool's outside."

"Oh," he said. So there was a pool, at least. But in a little town like Sedona would there be that many people in the pool? In the motel even? How many people stayed there in a month? Surely not many. "How many people even go to the motel? I thought Sedona was a small town."

"Oh, it is. But it's also an in between spot. Not a lot of places to stop and sleep when you're on the interstate. It runs right by Sedona so a lot of travelers come in for the night. This time of the year it'll be a lot of families with kids so they'll want use of the pool," Don explained. "You'll be busy no matter what Yuff has you doing."

"Great," Roxas smiled, faking his enthusiasm. He turned to see of his Dad caught on but the man wasn't even looking at him, he was absorbed in the difficult task of driving in a straight line. Roxas slumped in his seat.

"…Great." He muttered into the wind.

The hour or so ride turned into a two hour or so ride as there was major construction on one lane and so the crew closed off the lane next to it so there wouldn't be any collisions between large machinery and small cars, causing the normally three lanes to merge into one. In the slowly moving traffic made the heat much more unbearable, all of the exhaust fumes coming from the long line of cars polluting the air. It all gave Roxas the most pounding headache. He rolled up his window, preventing any more toxic fumes from entering the truck.

"Do you have AC?" He asked. Don furrowed his brows and frowned.

"A what?"

Roxas sighed. "Air conditioning. Abbreviated it's AC." Was Sedona really that far in the boonies? In a state that's mostly desert you would think that every household would have air conditioning to fend off the heat.

Revelation came over the old man's features. "Ooooh. AC." He leaned over and pressed a little black button. Cool air burst through the vents the little bits and pieces of the machinery _whirrrrring _as it worked hard to beat the Arizonan heat leftover in the truck. Dom smiled a little at the boy reclining in the passenger seat, eyes closed. "Good?"

"Fantastic."

Don smiled wider and turned back to road with a little more pep in him. His boy, his only child for that matter, Roxas Casey, was staying with him for the entire summer to grow some sense. It would be the first time they had spent any good amount of time with each other in a long while. But he wasn't _too_ hopeful that it would fully re-cement their relationship. He knew that if it was up to Roxas the boy wouldn't be here at all… but if it were up to Don, the boy would have never left Arizona in the first place ten years ago.

----

The Flying Lion was a motel located in the little town of Sedona, Arizona. And true to Don's words it was one of the few stops on the interstate and the only one that was advertised as an actual town. But no one told him it would look like a respectable established, not like one of those sleazy motels on the road that had half their neon lights out and looked like the NO'S in the 'No Vacancy' had never been lit up in all the amount of time they'd been there and the sole perk in staying was cable TV.

The Flying Lion didn't even have a neon sign. Instead, a wide and tall piece of wood painted white stood proudly by the side of the main road leading into town. Two floodlights were planted amongst the flowers below it to light up the sign when night hit. Two lions sat at the top corners and true to the motel's name, they had wings on their backs. Flying lion indeed.

The actual motel was a two story building in a U shape. The front of the building was a long one-story rectangle with a high pointy roof that faced the road. At its ends, the building continued downward, giving it the U shape. These two buildings at the sides were two stories and had space in front of them for parking. They were all painted a light blue and had white trim. How very quaint.

"Wow," Roxas commented. "Pretty snazzy place."

Don glanced at the motel before undoing the latch and letting down the door to the bed of the truck. "Yeah, it does well for itself…" He said as he gripped the handle on one of Roxas's suitcases and slide it to the open back. "Take that down will you?"

Roxas slid the heavy suitcase to the very edge of the bed before lifting it up, every scrawny muscle he had in his arms aching at the weight before giving out and setting the forty pound suitcase onto the ground with a loud 'thump'. He sighed his relief that it didn't smash his toes, protected only by the material of his fashionable shoes. Beside him, Don lifted up his white suitcase with only the little bit of effort and softy set it down on the pavement. His father extended the handle and started walking it to the front of the building.

"Well, come on," he called. Roxas set the baggage upright and extended the handle as far as it would go. He trailed after the older man, kicking his suitcase once to tip it over before walking. Don was waiting at the door, holding it open for him. As soon as Roxas stepped into the air-conditioned building, he was captured in a rib-crushing hug.

"Hi, there Roxas!" The person exclaimed in a loud happy high-pitched voice. "I've been waiting all day to meet you! Ah! You're finally here! I can't believe it! I've been waiting to meet boss man's kid for the longest!" He was crushed against modest sized chest, head bobbing as the girl jumped and swung around, giggling loudly. "You're here, you're here, you're here, you're finally here!"

"Yuffie," Don said in a hard voice. The girl-Yuffie- immediately let go and bounced back several steps. Roxas sucked in a breathe and warily looked at her. His blue eyes met with twinkling brown. She was pretty, tomboyish features with short black hair and almond shaped eyes.

Yuffie grinned at him, all of her showing. "Hi, I'm Yuffie! It's just so nice to meet you." She was bobbing up and down at her feet, all rambunctious bubbly energy just waiting to be unleashed. "You're gonna be working with me all summer, like my own little apprentice! I'm gonna teach you everything! How to make beds, how to dust, clean the pool, vacuum, do laundry, answer the phones, give people rooms and all the other stuff there is to know! By the time this week is out it'll be like second nature, you'll just know everything there is to know like the back of your hand. I'm gonna be the best teacher! I promise."

Roxas blinked, stunned to silence at her exuberance. And he thought Sora talked fast. This girl was going a mile a minute with no foreseeable stop and when she did end her speech, it was like someone pulled the emergency brake to her vocals. Yuffie kept on smiling expectantly at him, grin only growing wider as he collected himself. "Um, hi," he muttered. "Nice to, uh, meet you."

"Oh, the pleasure's all mine," she assured him. "Well, oki doke. Intros have all been made, why don't get we get you started? No time like the present!" Yuffie hopped over to him and took the handle away from him. She winked. "Grab the other one and follow me!" She took off, the wheels clickety clacking against the tiles. "Don't worry I'll take great care of him, boss man!"

"I'm sure," Don called at her receding back. At Roxas's expectant gaze, he handed over the other suitcase. "I have to go oversee the building at the new motel, but I'll be back at the end of the day. Just follow Yuffie."

Roxas pursed his lips, nodding. "…okay well, I'll see you…"

Don nodded and waved as he left, Roxas watching him drive off deeper into town. The blond stayed put for a moment later, still trying to absorb what just happened in the past few hours. Roxas itched the back of his neck, a nervous habit he took from Sora and thrust his hand down the second he realized what he was doing.

"Ohh, Rooooxy!" Yuffie's cheerful face popped up from behind the wall. "C'mon slow poke! You gonna stand there the entire day?"

"Uh, I guess not."

"Well, I hope not! There's work to be done. Onward we must go! Hurry!" She whined, stomping her foot. Was old was this chick? She acted like a hyperactive child. Nevertheless, Roxas rushed to her following her as she skipped down the hall, leading him deeper into this new stage of his life. Better or worse, he would just have to tough it out.

---

"Pull it over and then under," Yuffie said. "Over and under." She demonstrated by taking the end of the white sheet, creasing it into a triangle and pulling the tip over to the left side of the bed and tucking the corner under the mattress. "See? Easy peasy. Just over and under. Now you try," she motioned to the bed corner closest to him where the ends of the pristine white sheet were not in the proper place. Roxas bent down on the paisley carpet, becoming eye level with the sheet. Yuffie appeared next to him, "Just over and under. You got this Roxas," she encouraged.

Roxas resisted the intense urge to roll his eyes at her. She was only trying to help and had the best intentions in mind, he told himself. He took the sheet, creasing it into a triangle and pulled it over to the right side of the bed and tucked it under the mattress, just like Yuffie had done seconds ago.

The woman clapped, grinning ear to ear. "Wonderful. Now you just," she took the comforter and threw it onto the bed. "Put the comforter back on," she neatly started pulling and pushing the blanket this way and that, pulling it straight over the bed. "Make it look nice." Yuffie grabbed the ends of the thick blanket and pulled them into a triangle again. "Just over and under but the _opposite_ way. Into the middle. Do your side."

Roxas jumped to the task, straightening the comforter and pulling it tight before doing as she demonstrated before but this time pulling it to the left and tucked it at the foot of the bed.

"Good job! Okay, now we just take the top and pull it down," She gently took the blanket draped over the two pillows and pulled it down neatly. "Fluff up the pillows." she did as such. "And are we done?"

"Uhh," Roxas thought about all the rules they went over at the beginning. "Did we check the drawers?"

Yuffie beamed. "Nope!"

This was how she taught him, trial and error. They went over it repeatedly until he got it. They were on the third room by now and Roxas knew more about managing the room that he probably should. There were twenty-eight rooms at the Flying Lion, seven on the ground floor and seven above them. There were many rules and procedures to go along with that. Like making the bed ("Always, always, always change the sheets." and "Unless you can see stains on the comforter don't bother.") fluffing the pillows ("Twice on the sides and once in the middle. Oh! Every time someone leaves change the pillow cases."), vacuuming ("If you can see it they can see it."), dusting ("Once a month."), cleaning ("Every time someone leaves, wash the flat surfaces of the room and the bathroom thoroughly, you should be able to see your _face_ in the toilet!")and restocking the mini-fridge ("Two bottles of everything, no more no less."), and stocking the drawers with extra blankets and pillows ("Cause you never know.") and tips ("No one ever fucking tips! Arrgh.").

He hadn't even learned the rules for the pool yet. Or for answering the phone or for giving out rooms. Roxas sighed, going over the mental list in his head. There was a lot to remember but it seemed simple enough. The repeating chores were a pleasant getaway from too much thinking and brooding. There was a lot to remember but he had the whole summer to prefect his bed making.

Yep….he had the _whoooooole_ summer.

----

It was 1:22 meaning it was actually 1:17, which meant that Axel had been staring at the stars for near forty minutes now. The car wasn't on so the radio couldn't softly serenade him to sleep with music. He would say that the sounds of the desert were keeping him awake but there were no sounds, not even a coyote howling in the night. Axel lay in the back seat, long legs dangling over the side of his vehicle, just staring above him, unable to permanently close his eyes and drift.

When he was little, he thought that those little pinpricks of light in the sky were only far away because he was little and couldn't reach him. In school, he learned that the closest star was still light-years away and it would take years to reach them even going the speed of light. Axel sighed and rolled over; thinking maybe the new position would lure him to sleep faster.

By this time tomorrow he would be out of Texas and in New Mexico. Maybe he'd go to Santa Fe, maybe take a wrong turn at Albuquerque and then where'd he go? Phoenix wasn't too far off, maybe Tucson? Blow straight through the state and see the lights of Las Vegas? Then where? Axel sighed and put a pin in the thought, holding onto his questions for when he had an answer to them.

Long minutes passed, each second stretching as long as it possibly could. Axel's sleepy mind started up a beat he knew all too well, softly said words he could say backwards in his sleep, and a voice he knew from childhood memories. Sure enough he fell asleep within seconds, the soft laidback beat promising sweet, sweet, bittersweet dreams, unaware of the calamity going on hundreds of miles away in a town he'd never been to, in a state he didn't have much interest in and to a boy he didn't even know existed.

Funny thing, fate.

* * *

OK short chapter. Not sure if i love it too much but ill wait until the next chapter of cult is up to decide. Just feel like this could have so much more going on, ya know? More of a filler instead of really getting the story moving, this one. Song is Hey There Delilah by plain white tees. Uhm. that's all I got right now. Once again, i love absolutely love you guys that review. Totally awesome of you to take the time.

* * *


	5. Act One, Scene Five Slowing Down

:] Happi Reading guys! i 3 u

* * *

Summer Boy

Roxas absolutely hated Ron Donnelly, formerly of room 12-2. _Hated_ him. Augh, if only he knew where that bitch was, oooh, Roxas would give him a piece of his mind. And a punch in the face. _Yeah, yeah. That's what I'd do_, Roxas angrily thought while he scrubbed the carpet viciously, imaging it was that guy's face. His knees hurt, his back hurt, his hands hurt, and he did not even dare think he could unclench his fingers anytime soon without serious help. The thoughts of his pain collided with the furious ones of Ron Donnelly and simmered in his mind, coming closer and closer to coming to a boil as he kept on scrubbing the white carpet. And scrubbing and scrubbing and scrubbing…

"Augh! I fucking hate this job!" He shouted and threw his overworked sponge at the wall. It made a satisfying smack as it hit and left nice wet mark on the wallpaper. He sat back on his calves, chest heaving form his outburst. He was still pissed but now he was without anything to throw to convey just how mad he was. Because nothing said 'I'm angry' better than throwing shit around.

"Yeah, well you wanna scrub the toilet?!" Yuffie yelled back. "Hell, I'll take the whole rest of the room if you clean this nasty toilet for me." Roxas made a face at the thought, ew…toilet. No thank you. He would take a whole other room by himself if it would spare him the fortune of having to clean that toilet.

He let out a frustrated sigh, got up to go receive his sponge, hating having to lean on the bed to do so. Ugh, his back hurt. He felt like he had been carrying around ten pounds on his back all day. Roxas leaned over to peer into the bathroom, checking up on is mentor, having to hold a hand to his nose to do so. Yuffie was snapping on her bright neon green gloves, preparing her self for the adventure to come. She already had on her mask to ward away the fumes. She wasn't coming out anytime soon. Her honor was on the line. He put his hands on the small of his back like he'd seen Yuffie do before and experimentally bent backward, getting several rewarding popping noises in return. Ahh, yeah, that felt good. He now knew why Yuffie complained so much earlier.

Roxas retrieved his sponge, dunking it back into the soapy water and brought it back out dripping wet with a scowl on his usually calm face. He could feel his eye twitch. Because really, who the hell does this guy think he is to spill fucking wine all over and not even bother to attempt to clean it?!

"Rich dicks," Yuffie said when they walked in the morning after he checked out. "From the town over. Come here with their mistresses. They're disgusting," she growled, Roxas nodding angrily in agreement. And the they went to check the rest of the damage of one of their best rooms. The lamp was knocked over and shattered on the floor. Roxas spotted at least three deep red stains on the carpet, along with many little droplets all over the place. He didn't even want to check the bed, he already knew that it was going into the wash. He couldn't _wait_ to find the used condoms all over the room. And then the bathroom was…

"Augh! Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew! Roxas you get bathroom duty!"

"Hell no!" He had replied. Yuffie sent a deadly glare toward him to which he returned with one of his own. They were both at the same height of five foot five so there wasn't much intimidation to be had except for these heated staring contests. This situation called for one thing and one thing only. "Rock. Paper. Scissor," he demanded, the game that Yuffie used religiously to decide who gets what job. Yuffie scoffed and started shaking her head even before he finished with his sentence.

"No, no, no, you cheat, you're a cheater," she accused him.

"How can you cheat at rock, paper, scissors?" He calmly replied. He knew how. At least with Yuffie, Yuffie glared at him, thinking it over, turning pros and cons in her head. She gave a little nod. "Alright then, let's go." He held up one fist and laid his other hand palm up.

"Bring it bitch," she spat, the competition firing her up and bringing with it her potty mouth. She held out her own little fist.

"One." Roxas put on a poker face, bringing down his fist for the first time. Yuffie did the same, but she was unable to keep her mouth from twitching into a grin. She looked like a psychotic clown. "Two." Scissors, Roxas decided. To cut the paper she thought would cover his rock. Just because his first syllable of his name sounded like the word didn't mean he was going to use it. But to Yuffie that sounded like a perfectly sound and reasonable decision. So scissors it was. "Three!" Unfolded their fist right before it hit for a third time. Roxas let out a whoop as Yuffie laid her hand out flat. "Scissor cuts paper, bi-otch!" Yuffie groaned, stomping her feet like a little child.

"No fair! No fair, two out of three!" She cried, already preparing for another round.

"No way," he said and picked up his bucket full of soapy water. "You lost, missy."

"You," she said, pointing a finger in his direction. "You. You. Augh!" She grabbed her cleaning basket and stomped to the bathroom while he settled for the fight of Roxas vs. Stain on Carpet. Ding, ding!

It was a loosing match. The wine had been sitting for hours; the carpet drank it up as if it was a man in a desert, taking in with it the deep red color of good wine. Yuffie was trying to get him to be able to identify stains just by looking at them but he wasn't too good at it and kept digging out the handmade Stain Book Yuffie made. For some reason she took pictures of stains and wrote down the necessary steps in removing them. Yuffie… was… Yuffie was weird. But very fun to be around. It was like she never grew out of her immature teenage behavior even though she was already twenty-six.

"This. Is. DISGUSTING," she cried. "Eeewwwwwuh. Why would someone do this? Ever?" She let out another series of whimpers and gagging noises. Roxas sent a wary glance toward the door before digging the sponge into his stain again. They might have to get out the Clean Machine for this sucker. Again, Roxas felt his anger start to simmer up again, scrubbing harder and harder with ever new thought. Why would you stay the night at a respectable looking hotel, get a nice room, only to leave it trashed the next day? What would drive a person to do that? How low can their morals be?

Roxas found his thoughts drifting toward Sora. Besides Saturday morning, he hadn't called or made any contact at all with Sora. It had been four days since then but it seemed like a lifetime ago. For one, he didn't have his cell phone with him. His mother took it away from him saying that he didn't _need_ it; he didn't _need_ to talk to anybody but his mother. The second reason was that Roxas had forgotten the boy's number. He knew it was three something something then seven something two something. He didn't know anyone else's number so he could call them to ask for it. That's the thing, nowadays you get a number then you put it in your phone book without really memorizing the sequence of digits, leaving you high and dry when you really needed someone to call. Roxas never felt the need to memorize a person's number because he always thought he would have his handy dandy phone with him. Or he would have a handy dandy friend next to him who liked to make a game out of knowing peoples number.

But the peace of not having to deal with it, actually not having a choice at all to deal with it at all, was refreshing. Without the cellular device, he didn't have to worry about Sora calling him repeatedly during the day and night. Nor did he have to worry about himself calling up Sora to apologize when he was pitying himself.

And pity himself he did. It seemed that every other hour he was either thinking of different things he could have done, like not tell Sora those things, or thinking of other, wittier, snakier, ruder things he should have said, things that would have really got into Sora's brain and make him feel like the piece of shit he was.

But mostly Roxas missed him. Most of the time he just wanted his best friend back.

Most of the time.

---

"Oh, shut up Riku!" Sora threw a pair of faded jeans at the boy's face, hitting him exactly in the middle, dead on! Woo hoo. He sifted through pair upon pair of jeans dispassionately. There were big, baggy jeans, skinny jeans, and normal well-fitting jeans. Dark washed, light washed, normal blue jean, dark indigo, black, bleached, gray, and vintage. Ripped at the knees, scuffed up at places, and jeans that looked brand new, without a scratch on them. He didn't know what he wanted. Why was he even here? Riku folded the jeans perfectly, smoothing out every crease and wrinkle with care before setting it back on the pile which he straightened up. Sora frowned at him. _Oh, that's right_, he thought. _Riku works here. He could give me a discount_! If only, if only, if only they had _GOOD CLOTHES_! He huffed and sauntered away from the currant pile to the other side of the store.

"I'm just saying," Riku sighed. "It's been what like four days?"

"Yes," Sora replied, purposefully being short and not looking at his companion. Riku raised a delicate eyebrow at his behavior but continued talking nonetheless.

"You think he's gonna call? Wow, feels weird sayin' that. Usually the one that sentence's talking about." He grinned at Sora, hoping the boy would do the same but he just glowered in that way he does when you say something wrong. "Sora. Don't do that. Baby, c'mere." He gathered the sophomore, no junior now, into his arms. He sat his head on top of Sora's soft spikes and ran a hand up and down his back, a soothing gesture he had gotten quite good at in the past few days.

Sora pouted even deeper as Riku did this. He did not want to be coddled. However, he let himself he held because, well, Sora liked being held. Why deny himself a bit of comfort? "Iku," he mumbled against his boy's black uniform t-shirt.

"I know, I know, Sora," he sighed, as if burdened by his wisdom. "You're getting hard aren't you." Sora sputtered against him and started shaking with laughter. Riku patted him on the back, as if he was really shaking out of tears and embarrassment. "I know. I'm just… I'm just so _irresistible_. It's not your fault, I don't blame you," he added. Sora pushed him off, laughing now. His face lit up now with that smile Riku liked allllll across his face. He covered his eyes in embarrassment, looking away as if he didn't now him. Riku chuckled.

"Hey, why don't you pick out a little something, I'll give you my family discount," Riku offered. "And then we can go get something yummy."

Sora perked up like a dog. "Like a paupou smoothie at That Smoothie Place?"

Riku winked and nodded. "Only the best for you." Sora squealed and started rummaging through the store's trendy clothing with renewed interest, Riku following him around and giving him his undivided attention despite the five other customers in the store. This did not deter the customers from seeking him out, however. Sora hid smile upon smile as girls all but flung themselves onto him screaming 'Take me! Take me!'. He'd seen it many, many, many times before but the end result was always, always, always the same. At least whenever Sora was in the proximity…. And they were dating. A few times Riku went out of his way to flirt with the skimpy girls who came in to ogle at him, just because he knew Sora was in the area and would find out fast. He'd seen that many, many, many times too.

Sora couldn't blame them though. Riku was just…he was every gay boy's and straight girls wet dream. Sora knew he hit gold. Riku was just gorgeous. Tall, handsome, muscular but not too muscular but enough to know he could probably kick some ass, and weird hair he swore up and down was natural. Sora had yet to find any proof of color treatments so he accepted it until he could unearth something. He was just really, really good looking. He was looking especially cute today, in his little uniform. And he had his hair up today, pulled into a loose pony-tail. Aww. He was so cute. Apparently someone else thought so to because this chick was talking up a storm to his boyfriend and looking awfully friendly.

"Riku," he said, making sure the girl saw him. "How would this one look on me?" He held up a pair of women's lacy panties, a pure, innocent look on his face. Like he really would like the teen's honest input. Her face was frozen in shock at his question, her lips, absolutely _covered_ in shiny lip-gloss, were stuck in an oval formation. Sora redirected his innocent gaze at her, a cruelly mocking smile coming into place. She flushed and quickly excused herself as fast as her flip flops could take her. Sora glared as he watched her go. Probably off to gossip about what_ you would never guess what just happened _to her with her girlfriends.

Sora felt a stab of pain. _He_ wanted to gossip with his girlfriends. Or rather girlfriend. Oh, Roxas, Roxas, Roxas where for art thou? This empty man needs thine sardonic humor. He inwardly gave himself a high five for use of old English. Sora thought Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet was beast.

"I dunno," Riku said, seriously considering the lacey undergarments. "I don't think purple's your color." He held up a dark blue thong, checking its size. "Would these fit…?" Sora snatched it away and threw them both back where they belonged because they sure as hell didn't belong on him. Nuh uh.

"I am not wearing those," he stated, sashaying his hips over to the display of silk-screened t-shirts. Riku followed them diligently but a disappointed look on his face lingered. He sent one last unhappy glance to the underwear. "I. like. This." Sora picked up a white t-shirt that looked like someone had thrown multiple watercolors on and let it bleed down. "Me likey lots." Riku reached in to feel the texture of the shirt.

"It's a nice shirt," he said. "We just got them in. The process in which they're made gives every shirt some imperfections here and there so each one is slightly different than the next." He picked up another one from the same pile and held it up. The second one had more blue in it than the other one. "See?" Sora nodded, placing his down to unfold the next in the pile, and then the next, and the one after that, trying to find the best one among them. The jewel in the crown. Or a jewel among tie-dye shirts. The best one turned out to be the very last one in the pile, absolutely covered in black, bright blue, and vivid red dye. Riku was busy re-folding all of the shirts as Sora rejected them one after another, putting his deft hands to good use once again. Sora turned happily to him.

"I want thiiiiis one, Rikuuuu." Riku smacked his gum, grinning and winked at him.

"You got it, babe."

----

"Your total comes up to 18.95," Riku announced. Sora gave a theatrical gasp at the price, hand coming up in shock. Riku chuckled. "But wait there's more! With my forty percent discount…" He typed away at the keyboard. "Your total is reduced to," he did a fancy little spin behind the counter and tapped the enter button. The numbers 11.37 popped up on the little screen. Sora clapped his hands with an awed expression on his face, mouthing 'How does he do it?!'. Riku took a few little bows. He winked at the brunette. "So, uh, how you gonna pay? Cash or credit?"

Sora chewed thoughtfully on his gum, stolen from his once again brand spankin' new boyfriend just minutes ago. He leaned his tan arms on the counter, looking up at him seductively. "I dunno," he said. "How _are_ you gonna pay?" Riku chuckled and took out his wallet, placing in twelve dollars and taking out the correct change. He moved to shove them in his pocket but a devious thought occurred him. He leered at the boy, jingling the change. "Wanna pretend you're one of those rides outside of the super market?"

Sora giggled, reaching for the collection of change. "Oh, Riku. That little handful doesn't even give you half a minute with me and we both know that you need three to get the deed done." Riku narrowed his eyes but surrendered his handful over to the teen. Sora counted it happily. The light haired teen carefully put his shirt in one of their signature neon green bags. A little blue surprise was waiting inside for when Sora opened the bag back home, a surprise that would hopefully find its way right back to him.

"When do you get off?" Sora asked while trying on the huge and expensive sunglasses on display. They always put the good stuff up front, trying to make boys like him wish they bought the trendy sunglasses too. It always worked. He tilted down a white rimmed pair to better look at his working man. Riku tapped his knuckles and clucked his tongue. He eyed the clock in front of him, doing the mental math.

"In an hour."

Sora balked. "An hour?!" He pouted. Riku chuckled at the boy's immature behavior. Being with Sora at times was really like dating a chick but instead with all the parts Riku liked. Better being whiny than depressed, he supposed.

"Yes, Sora. What? Baby can't stand being away from me that long?" He teased. Sora huffed and up-turned his nose. "Aw, baby. Don't be like that. So you gonna stick around or are ya gonna go around the other stores and I dunno, look for shoes?"

The last time he looked for shoes was with Roxas. Sora sighed and took the sunglasses off. "Yeah, I suppose I should." He slipped the plastic handles of the green bag onto his wrist and started slumping off toward the wide store entrance.

Riku, alarmed in his sudden change of mood, rushed in with, "I wasn't kicking you out. You can stay here you know."

"I know, I know. I just…I'm just gonna go look for shoes." Sora slowly walked off, ignoring his boyfriend's concerned stare. He was being a sucky boyfriend wasn't he? First day of being back together he was crying his eyes out, refusing to be consoled by his lover. Second day was spent moping around his house but the technically third night _was_ spent being consoled as a sexually active boy would define the word. Third day was spent with Riku, going to the movies and dinner on their first date as a couple again. But he was constantly checking his phone waiting for Roxas's call, waiting for a picture of him wearing big star sunglasses to pop up on his screen, which was a definite no no on a date. He was supposed to be with Riku, concentrating on Riku, doing things with Riku. Not waiting around for Roxas to bother to call him.

But he did have a good reason for being so out of it. His best friend suddenly dropped off the face of the earth! Who knew if Roxas had left, Sora sure didn't. And Roxas's mother Daisy, who Sora thought was usually very nice everyone who came by, _slammed_ the door in his face when he came by to ask for Roxas. Apparently, he wasn't welcome in her household anymore. He just assumed Roxas was gone because the boy's light never flicked on or off for that matter. He…he wasn't stalking the place, going by every night or anything, looking for activity. He just…he was in the neighborhood. Sora shook his head, ridding the thoughts away from him. _Shoes_, he thought, walking into his first destination. _I need new shoes. _

In the end, Sora never found any cool or even remotely neat looking sneakers. They all looked like someone glued together random pieces of bright colored pleather. All of them were just stupid. All of them looked like crap; appealing to what they must think would be a crack head generation. Or a generation of ADD ridden teens. He found not one pair that appealed to him but he did find these adorable knee high socks with blue racing stripes running up them. How cute! He spent his only five dollars on them. And he put in his two quarters into a slot machine for a handful of skittles and now he was penniless. _Thank goodness for having a boyfriend who provided for you, _he thought. He giggled around his mouthful of candy. _It's as if I'm a housewife. _

_---_

"One large paupou smoothie, please!" Sora chirped loudly to the cashier. She visibly started at his unnaturally happy voice giving him a wary look. She glanced up at Riku, ready for his order.

"And a medium piña colada for me," Riku ordered, digging out his wallet. As he picked out a twenty he mused that though Sora didn't have expensive taste what he did want he wanted in bulk. How he could drink such a sugary drink and not gain a pinch of fat on his hips was a mystery to him. However, he smiled like a little kid at Disney Land whenever he got the smoothie, a look Riku wanted to see over and over on the boy's face, no matter how much it cost him.

They took a number and claimed their favorite booth by the window. Sora pulled up his jeans to show him the cute socks he got at this one store, blah, blah, blah. Riku mostly ignored what Sora said, knowing by now that he would sum up everything at the very end. He skillfully looked around the store, look at the new artwork they had up and reading the funny signs nailed to the wall. Riku took this place Sora to on their first date. It had a special meaning to them, or at least to Riku it did. This was the place where two years ago Riku realized he was going to fall in love with Sora Taylor.

That first date he let Sora order whatever he wanted and smoothly said they would share it. And as luck would have it, Sora picked the sweet and tangy paupou smoothie. There was a myth about the paupou fruit from its native land, a little island called Destiny. The locals say if you shared a paupou fruit with someone, you would be tied together forever. Like, kiss and fall in love. The owner of the store swore it was folly but Riku…he was always a sucker for myths like that.

Riku looked at Sora's big sapphire eyes and thought, _would it really be so bad? _Thus, he ushered in the era of Sora. It was not always great. They fought a lot, over the stupidest things, things neither of them even remembered. They said the cruelest things to one another, threw secrets and confessions into their face. Sora had even hit Riku a few times when the older boy crossed the line or Sora was just mad at him but Riku was proud to say that he never laid a finger on Sora, no matter what was said or done, though he might've wanted to sometimes. Riku had cheated on Sora out of spite several times but Sora did the same. Riku started a particularly nasty rumor about the boy to which Sora rebuked one of his own. They broke up five times and they got back together six.

The good moments shined brighter than their bitter cousins did. The time they went to the beach. When they ditched school one day to take a trip to traverse. The days they just hung out. The days when they made out. Each time they fooled around was a sweet memory. The night Sora gave Riku his virginity outshone many memories but the time Riku told Sora he loved him and when Sora said it back was the brightest star among them all.

He had never told Sora about the story behind his favorite drink. He wasn't sure if he wanted to. He didn't know if Sora would be happy about the news or come to loathe it. They were together now, which would solidify the truth in the story, but they also broke up so many times. So many bad moments among the good, so many times when neither of them could stand each other. The same could be said about the good moments and about how many times neither he nor Sora could imagine a life without the other. They fought but they made up. They broke up but they always got back together. Lips used to scream curses were also used to kiss. Eyes that hold hatred also held adoration.

The work of the magic fruit, he supposed as he watched Sora tell his story with over the top hand gestures and more excitement than need be. It must have worked hard as hell to get them back together so many times. There was no way to escape its magic. He knew he was going to be forever orbiting around the manic world of Sora Taylor, never to be free of him, never let go, he was sucked into the boy's pull of gravity and he wasn't sure if he wanted to escape. He knew it wasn't so bad. Nothing was ever bad when Sora Taylor was around.

He shined in the darkest places, a light among the dark.

---

"_Love of mine someday you will die, but I'll be close behind. I'll follow you into the dark." _Axel vaguely tapped a finger to the quiet acoustic guitar. If he were a sucker for anything, it would be a good acoustic song. It was what got his attention at first and got him to put down his yellow coffee mug that had a smiley face painted on it and pay close attention to the lyrics of the song, hoping they would be as the beginning promised. Sweet, tragically sweet by the sounds of it.

"_No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white, just our hands clasped so tight. Waiting for the hint of a spark." _And so they were. The lyrics, more poetry than anything, promising so far of love unconditional. In a love ballad, Axel would wish for nothing else. There was nothing sweeter or sadder than a promise that if his/her heart shall stop beating yours will too.

"_If heaven and hell decides that they both are satisfied, illuminate the 'no's' on their vacancy signs. If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks, then I'll follow you into the dark." _Axel felt an insistent pull on his heart, a tug, or perhaps a stab at his most important organ. He didn't know this song but he wished he did so he could sing along with it. Axel clicked his tongue, thinking. Or maybe not. This was not a song you sang along to. It was one you listened faithfully to, one you turned up the speakers for, one you stopped conversations to hear.

"_And catholic school, as vicious as Roman rule. I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black. And I held my tongue as she told me 'Son, fear is the heart of love.' so I never went back." _Axel smiled into his newly picked up his sweetened coffee. He knew the singer's pain. He knew the catholic school system. He knew the nuns. It was not an experience he would want to... re-experience. There is not a teacher meaner than an old nun who believed herself and God, and only herself and God, were correct in any and every matter you could think of.

"_If heaven and hell decides that they both are satisfied, illuminate the 'no's' on their vacancy signs. If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks, then I'll follow you into the dark." _His days in St. Mary's taught him proper manners, that's for sure. Manners that he conveniently forgot as soon as he graduated from the middle school. And also to abhor all nuns but he remembered that one well. He refused to step into churches of all kinds now, traumatized by his experience with Sister Katherine. He expected a ruler to slap his hands every time he crossed a place of worship.

"_You and me have seen everything to see. From Bangkok to Calgary. And the soles of your shoes have all worn down. The time for sleep is now but it's nothing to cry about. 'Cause we'll hold each other soon in the blackest of rooms." _Axel decided that this was beautiful, a masterpiece. Were this man born five centuries ago he would be a poet to the highest and wealthiest class of people. On the other hand and more likely, as with most of the great poets, he would be living and starving on the streets. Axel sipped his at his drink thoughtfully. Was it that popular to say such a thing? 'I would rather die than live in a world without you' seemed to be a popular line nowadays, especially among teens. What would you say to that? How do you respond to such a bold statement? Thank you? I'm grateful you're willing to off yourself for me? Axel could hardly comprehend saying it. Talk about a melodramatic love affair.

"_If heaven and hell decides that they both are satisfied and illuminate the 'no's' on their vacancy signs. If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks, then I'll follow you into the dark." _Axel set his empty cup to the side, becoming lost in his recently melodic thoughts. Perhaps it was the city he was in. Wonder, New Mexico was a peculiar, but interesting!, town to visit. All the buildings were of Victorian persuasion, all elaborate in ways that he couldn't begin to describe. It was like a tucked away oasis. From Axel's seat at the window in the little hole in the wall he picked out, he would not be able to tell that the town was actually smack dab in the middle of a desert. Here plants grew absolutely everywhere, roses on the sides of quaint houses, dandelions in the cracks of the cobble stone sidewalks. The entire place was like a mirage, like a fairy tale. It was as if this place was so good it couldn't exist in this world, it must be a figment of your imagination or a product of too many days under the hot, hot sun making you delusional.

Axel leaned back in the velvet booth he snatched earlier. By the almost painful tingling on his tongue from the burn he acquired from his amazing coffee, he knew he wasn't sleeping and dreaming this place up. This town was as real as he was, but that was a thought that sprouted up numerous philosophies on the universe he'd thought up during too long drives to far away places.

"You want a refill, sir?" Axel jumped. His blond waitress popped up next to him with a shy smile. In her hand, she held a large coffee pot that held the best coffee he'd had in…awhile to say the least. Coffee from gas stations just doesn't cut it.

"Yes, ma'am. Thank you." He pushed the happy mug closer to her. She tucked back a piece of her golden blond hair that escaped her hair band. Axel spotted a nametag displaying the name 'Alice' in bright blue cursive lettering pinned to her white apron. The word 'WoNdeRLaND tEa HoUSe' blazed across her chest, selfless advertisement. Under her no doubt required uniform apron, she wore a tasteful light blue dress.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Axel blinked at her. "Excuse me?"

Alice laughed. "I said 'A penny for your thoughts?'" Axel grinned charmingly at her.

"Doll, my thoughts are worth at least a nickel." Alice giggled, a hand coming up to cover her laughing mouth, a lady-like gesture. Axel darted his green eyes to the man behind the bar counter, who kept shyly looking back to her and blushing every few seconds or so when he thought no one was looking. In the hour and a half he'd been sitting here, he saw the man do this many times. He had an old-fashioned top hat on, so Axel had been calling him Hat Man. He lit up like a Christmas tree whenever she came over to chit and chat with him. Axel let a friendly smile take place of its charming cousin, the grin. "But I think he would pay at least quarter for yours," he said, snapping his fingers as he pointed to the man.

Alice followed the direction of his index, a curious expression coming over her young face. She flushed a deep red. "I-I-I don't think so," she said nervously. She pushed back a strip of hair that didn't need to be pushed back, a fretful gesture. "Maddy? No way." She glanced up at him timidly. "What…why do you think so? I mean…Um, do you really think?…I..." she looked frantically between any and all objects in a five-foot radius. Her mind was spinning; Axel could almost hear her mind swirling. He held up his hands to stop her from blowing a fuse.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold it sister. I'm just an observer." He smiled graciously as he took the steaming cup of magnificent coffee. "Why don't you go see for yourself? He's looking over here right now." She squeaked and flipped around quickly, catching 'Maddy' in the act. They both flushed redder than Axel had ever seen a person do. "Go get 'em," he encouraged. Alice fretted for a moment more, bouncing from foot to foot nervously. As quick as a rabbit she turned and in three long strides, she was right before him, bending slightly to look under the rim of his large top hat.

Maddy was as red as a strawberry and from the looks of it was stumbling out a confession of sorts, the redhead presumed. Axel downed the rest of his delicious coffee and took his leave, placing a twenty and a ten on the table for his drink and refills along with a very generous tip. There went his good deed of the day. Axel sent a fleeting glance back at the two. Ah, love. Axel's eyes widened, love! He turned back to the happy couple. "Hate to bother but, uh, what was that song that was just playing? The one before this one?"

Hat Man answered him but he was looking straight into Alice's eyes as he said it. "I Will Follow You Into the Dark by Death cab for Cutie." She giggled as she looked into his eyes, clearly star struck.

"Our song," she declared. He threw his arms around her, swaying them both left to right. Axel smiled a bit, proud of his work. He walked out the little restaurant and almost collided with a jumpy man checking his watch. The man continued forward with no apology to the redhead, muttering about being late. Axel scoffed. So much for chivalry.

The city was alive with activity. Everyone going this way or that. The red head inhaled the fumes of the other cars around, actually liking the atmosphere of the place. This wasn't like other bigger cities he'd been too. It wasn't too much like a big city but it wasn't a tiny little blip on the map either. It was in the prefect spot in between, like goldilocks and the three bears. This city was too big, this one was too small. This one was juuuuust right. The redhead reached his beloved car, Lucy, a black 1962 Eldorado Cadillac convertible. She was beautiful, truly the light of Axel's life. He kept her in perfect condition and she brought him everywhere and anywhere. Lucy was his dream girl.

Now with the sun shining above head, not a cloud in the sky and the day was just so perky and perfect that he put a few more quarters in the parking meter. He wanted walk around the city a bit more, see what needed and deserved to be seen. There was a cool looking building down the road with a sign that said THE RED QUEEN. He should go in and see what it was all about, perhaps he would find something amazing. And there was a tiny little itty-bitty store not too far from here called 'The Singing Lilies'. Axel thought it might be a record store and lord knew he needed to stop listening to the radio, no matter what poppy jewels it tossed his way. He really did not need to hear about how McDonalds, Wendy's, or Taco Bell was open twenty four/seven and had the best food, yada, yada, yada. What was that Queen song? Radio…Radio…Radio Gaga, that was it. _All we hear is radio gaga, radio goo goo._

He was starting to like this town. A wonder it really was.

---

Roxas flopped back onto the bed, moaning his gratitude as he hit the soft mattress. He relaxed into the bed, letting his muscles loosen up, letting himself just lay still for a while. Augh… his arms hurt. For some reason, there was juice all over one of the sliding door windows that led out to the balcony outside. And he had to clean it up but it was just _fried_ on there, it took forever to get it off. Roxas lazily wiped the sweat off his forehead and just let his arm lay across his eyes, too tired to move it away.

It was about seven o'clock and his shift was over for today but tomorrow, Wednesday, he would be on the night shift, staying up for all the night travelers coming into town to find a place to rest. His day would begin at seven at night and continue until seven in the morning. He was going to set his alarm at the front desk to go off every hour to keep him up as Yuffie suggested he do since it would be his first night on the shift.

Roxas had pulled all-nighters before and he was known for being able to party 'till the wee hours in the morning but Yuffie didn't know this and he was glad she giving helpful suggestions. Yuffie, Yuffie Kisaragi that is, had been working at the Flying Lion for the past six years, ever since it was built. Apparently, she knew his father well and immediately came to help him out when he started the place, temporarily at first, but she never left. Roxas was thankful for this because she had an expanse of handy tidbits for him. She was nice…she reminded him of Sora a little but mostly she was another category entirely. She was a mix of Mister Miyagi and a hyperactive child. One second she was spilling some wisdom about how to use a vacuum and the next she was talking about America's Got Talent and then theorizing about what was going to happen on the next season of In Plain Sight.

She was mostly a mystery. She didn't tell him her life story but then again he hadn't asked too many questions nor did he really have the time to. Each day he was up at seven doing something, learning something, getting something, cleaning something. It was only his second day here and his head was so full of mostly useless babble about cleaning products. And all of his muscles _ached_…he'd never had to do this kind of stuff at home. It was wasn't necessarily back breaking work, just tedious and over and over and over again. The motel had at least half of its room in use right now for a few days at least, another quarter were vacated this morning, requiring him and Yuffie to clean them up in preparation for the next loner, couple, or family to come in and occupy them.

He was glad Yuffie was working the rooms with him, giving him feedback, comedic commentary and also beating his ass if he didn't do something right. There was no slacking at the Flying Lion she said. You do it right the first time. If she weren't watching him twenty-four seven he would probably do the bare minimum and just leave. But with her over-seeing him, he gave the entire room the royal treatment, the whole shebang, kit and caboodle, words Yuffie used to describe the work. Speaking of which, did he mention how much he ached? His wimpy muscles weren't used to this behavior. Maybe he shouldn't have skipped so many gym classes this year.

Roxas sighed and moved onto his elbows then to his hands, backing up to the head of the bed, preparing to go to sleep early or at least lay in bed for a while more. He didn't feel like changing out of his uniform black pant and white button up shirt. He was just tired…tired and sleepy but not sleepy enough. Now that he wasn't trying to scrub through the floor with his ferocity or wiping all the surfaces of the rooms clean, his mind was free to wander as it always did. His father hadn't been around much just like he said. The new Flying Lion was an hour away and he needed to overlook the beginning construction. If he came home at all, it would be at a later hour than Roxas should be awake at. Yesterday he came home at nine but Roxas was exhausted and fell asleep before his truck rolled in. But he was awoken in time to see him for a few minutes before Don left and Roxas was told that he would be there over time to go over some documents, blah, blah, blah.

It made him a bit angry that Don wouldn't be around a lot. He didn't know if he expected him to be overbearing like his mom or what but this definitely wasn't what he was preparing himself for. Maybe he wanted Don to be breathing down his back and giving him commands like a drill sergeant, maybe he wanted his dad to be around more, maybe he wanted him to just be more curious in his life. Would you really hold it against him if he wanted any of those things for a moment? After all he…he deserved a little more interaction than he had gotten so far. A tad bit more frustration at what his son's life was right now. 'Cause, shit, it was like he didn't care at all. Roxas turned on his side, sighing. He hadn't thought these things in awhile. Being a child of divorced parents, he was always away from one of them. He would always have to go thousands of miles to see one of his parents, not just turn the corner of his house like how it should be.

He was six when his parents divorced. They lived in Phoenix at the time, making Roxas a desert rat by birth. Once upon a time is parents had been in love and were happy. Roxas went to preschool, came home to both his mother and father, had supper on the table, and talked about his day at school. The normal routine. Then everything changed. His parents started to argue when they thought he wasn't paying attention. He kind of remembered the heated conversations. Then Roxas and his mother left one day and never came back. He went to kindergarten in a new place, he moved into a new house, one far, far away from his daddy.

At first, he hated it. He threw stuff, screamed more, and had fits whenever he felt like it. He made life for his mother a living, screaming hell.

Then he started first grade and made new friends, best friends.

Roxas turned to the other side, blinking at the numbers his alarm clock, the same one every room in the motel had, and it displayed seven forty-three. What time was it back home? He didn't even know the time zone he was in. How big is the difference between times? One hour? Two? Whatever it was, it was no matter to him. He didn't care much. The blond blinked his tired eyes. Maybe he should just go to bed. He had nothing else to do here now that his shift was over. What would he do tomorrow? He had the whole day to for whatever. Maybe he would just sleep in and watch TV until it was time for his shift to begin.

His white shirt came unbuttoned and was tossed across the room, hopefully near his suitcase. Black slacks joined it a few seconds later. He was going to bed. All this thinking about stuff that didn't matter anymore, it made his head spin. It was unnecessary to think back on his childhood when it was done and over with. He didn't need to think about it. Roxas sighed into his pillow as he settled in, under the think sheet of the bed. Later he would wake up freezing but no he was hot and he couldn't bare the thought of sleeping with that thick blanket on top of him.

Because Don ran a motel, he didn't need to have a house of his own. He had his own room in the Flying Lion and so he had no other place to put Roxas in but in the motel too. The teen resided in room 14-1, the very last room on the left wing of the building, on the ground level. It was a nice room, he supposed. He sure didn't want to share a room with his dad but…well…It lacked any and all homey-ness. It just didn't feel like a… room as strange as it sounds. It felt like a hotel room. It was but…he wasn't just leaving this time. He wasn't just staying for a few days. He was staying for the _entire summer. _How could he leave this place without having any attachment like usual?

Would he just be leaving like usual?

At the end of this long summer, would he leave without a thought? Could he manage to stay here every day for three months and not learn a thing? For that matter, what would he do when he got home? He could just go with things as he left them. He had a whole Sora mess to clean up; he had to earn back his mother's trust. Would he want to keep experimenting like ha had been doing when he got back to Twilight Town? Why would he? Why wouldn't he? Honestly, what was waiting for him back home? A pissed off ex/friend, a pissed off mother, probably not one person there that liked him outside of the party/drinking/drugs scene. He would be alone when he went back. He would literally have no one. When this summer ended, it would begin a school year harder than the last. He wouldn't have his oldest friends waiting for him at the school doors; he wouldn't be smoking cigarettes outside of school with Sora anymore.

Could he really just start from scratch again? So many questions left unanswered again. Why did he do this to himself? He was all but torturing himself with them. He just wasn't the kind of person who takes a question and within minutes had an answer to it. It wasn't him. Then again…Just who was he anyway, without everything he's ever known? Who the fuck did he think he was?

He was Roxas Casey. And that was _it_. That was he had, maybe it was all he ever had to begin with, just his name. Just his fucking name that held no merit whatsoever. He had nothing to his name besides the label of a teenage drunk, a label he himself went through so much to achieve. He was rock bottom, wasn't he?

Could he even hope to redeem himself? Or was it just easier to continue on as he had?

* * *

(EDIT; song featured in this chapter was I Will Follow You Into The Dark by Deathcad For Cutie)

oh man guys, sorry for four day wait for this update. although i dont even know why im apologizing, I have to wait like months for my favorite stories to update so...whatever but still i feel like i duped you guys with waiting a bit longer for this. There are thousands of stories out there and i'm super happy you take the time to read mine. The reviews some of you give me are just the highlight of my day, like from IceNight009 and AtomicFusillade, i think you guys are beast and i'm going to write replys to you before today is done.

But yeah reason why this was late, my aunt came home from her cruise so ive been spending time with her alot and soon my sister is coming up for a week or so, so the next chapters might have a little wait too. and i plan to take a week off when school starts for me (september) But they will get up and i will finish this story...eventually. I was reading my first authors note of this story and i said i wanted this to be twelve thousand words....ahhhh. to be naive and young(was like a month ago). But anyway, ENJOY, REVIEW, ILU!!


	6. Act Two, Scene One Start Your Engines

Happy reading!

* * *

Summer Boy

There was no music now and frankly if there was, Axel would flick off the radio as quick as possible. He didn't want to hear music. He didn't want to hear romantic whispers of love or agonizing cries of loss. He couldn't stand the screams of anarchy or acoustic melodies of peace right now. For Axel, who thought himself a devoted fan of music, this was one of the lowest points in his life.

He was on the road again…Lucy being an understanding automobile and not questioning him as he started the car fast and hard. He pulled out the map quick and efficient, hardly batting an eye at it as he traced a route to somewhere, somewhere new, somewhere else, just _anywhere_. Anywhere but here.

Once again Axel was fleeing a city.

After a few minutes of him pressing hard to the accelerator, wishing to just get the fuck out and get out now, he calmed down to a lower level of hysteria and realized what he was doing. He was running away. Like a, a scared little kid, a frightened child from a shadow he thought was a ghost.

He hit the steering wheel as he thought his, cursing his immaturity. You just don't run away in an upset fit. You don't get in the car and speed away, never to return…you just…you don't do that.

Axel sped up to get in front of a van that was moving a _little_ too slowly for his likes. He'd already been to Santa Fe and spent a few hours in Albuquerque and he didn't want to go any further south, so off to Arizona he was going. He decided to hit every small town to Tucson and then to Phoenix and after a day or so there he'd go to Las Vegas and see the cities' night lights. From there he could decide to go left or right, either California or to Utah.

He nodded to himself, seconding his plan. He wanted to go anywhere, he didn't care where. He didn't even really _want_ to know where he was going. He just wanted to jump in Lucy and _go_. Go, go, go, run, run away into the sun and never, ever come back. Axel pressed on the gas a little harder, urging Lucy to go faster so he could be just one or two more miles away.

But no matter how fast you drove, he knew, you could never escape your past. The words that frightened him so and drove him to leaving Wonder as fast as possible still echoed in his mind. The lyrics that sent his stomach flying to his throat…he could still hear them, _crystal clear. _Axel sped to the speed limit, going over, trying to escape them but they were unrelenting, taunting him, laughing at him, _just fucking over and over_ they were sung;

_Oh! Gone, gone, away from this place_

_You left us in such disgrace_

_Like it was a race, _

_to run and get out of this place. _

_Where did you go?!_

_Where have you been?! _

_How many times have you looked at a map?_

_And planned your next getaway? _

_Just come back and stay. _

_Where have you been?!_

_Where did you go?!_

_Why don't you answer your phone?!_

_And why don't you ever call home?!_

_Just come home._

_---_

"So, honey. How have you been these past few days?" Daisy asked her son brightly. It was summer so she didn't have to do much work besides prepare her activities and projects for her class next year. Really the same old thing, with one or two differences. The school board liked it when the teachers shook things up a bit.

On the other line, Roxas sighed, his breath becoming static in her ear. _"Oh, not much…"_ he mumbled. _"Just you know… workin'…"_

"Oh, really!"

Roxas grumbled about what he did during the day, his shifts so far, how today he was on the night shift. "The night shift?!" Daisy's mind went into over drive. The night shift? What was Donald thinking? That was when all of the crazies came out!

"_Yeah, it's really no big deal…We have a security guard…"_ Daisy nodded along to his voice, understanding his mumbles from years of experience.

"Oh, yeah? Who? No one I know, right?" She laughed. In her ear Roxas hummed, thinking.

"_Um….no…I think you do…His name is George? George Goufe? Dad calls him Goofy?" _

Daisy gasped and almost dropped the dish she was scrubbing hard. After she came home from the airport she went into Roxas's room and found half of her plates, cups, and bowls that went missing. They had mold growing on the rotten food. How a boy can live in such a pig sty, she didn't know.

"Goofy! How is Goofy?" She cooed. Goofy. One of Don's oldest friends. They went to college together and he was Donald's best man. He was a sweet man, very smart though he didn't display it often. Daisy remembered that he had a degree in business last she heard. He all but saved her life.

"_Oh…um. I don't know?" _Roxas tried. _"I've never met him."_

"Oh, yes you have! He used to baby sit you when you were a baby! God, he was so good with kids, shame he never had any of his own. Do you know if he got married? Last I knew he was dating a woman named Bess."

"_Uh…I don't know, mom. I haven't exactly asked about his love life."_ Roxas deadpanned, quickly becoming irritated. Daisy merely clicked her tongue and scrubbed a little harder at a stain. That. Wouldn't. Come. Off.

"Well you should," she demanded. "Better yet, give him my phone number. I would love to catch up with him."

Miles and miles away Roxas took the phone away from his ear to look at it strangely, mimicking the look he would have given his mother had she been in the same room as he. _"Uh, don't you…I mean… wouldn't it be,_" he stumbled. _"Wouldn't it be weird to talk to one of Dad's best friends? I mean…you guys had a divorce…Wouldn't it be weird?"_ The thought of his mother talking with his father's friends creeped him out. When you divorced…weren't you, like, severing all ties and contacts?

"Well," she said, surprised. Roxas was…actually being considerate. And he wasn't terribly angry sounding. And he hadn't hung up on her. All of these were major advances from their usual phone calls, where she was having to yell and scream in order to have a conversation with her son. This was much nicer. "I suppose you're right… why don't you offer my number instead and so if he doesn't want to talk to me he can decline," she said smartly.

Roxas grumbled that he would, cursing in his head that he had to be the one to do her dirty business.

"So how long is your shift tonight?" Daisy examined the plate, looking hard for any spots she missed. "Hopefully not too long."

"_Uh, it starts at seven tonight and goes to seven in the morning tomorrow…" _He informed her reluctantly. Hopefully she wouldn't call him in the middle of the night to check up on him.

"Maybe I should call you and check up?"

"_What? No! No, that'll be a waste. And I can't leave the front desk at all except to go to the bathroom." _He could picture it now; she calling every hour faithfully to make sure he was alright. Augh, no thanks. He didn't need any more mothering. It's what got him in this mess in the first place_. "And I might have a customer with me, it would be… Very unprofessional of me to have a personal conversation at my workplace." _Roxas was really pulling this out of thin air, using smart words he figured would put his mother in a daze. Honestly she thought he was moron just because she found out he smoked pot every once in awhile…every chance he could.

Daisy felt an overjoyed smile take over her face. _Roxas, _she thought, _you sound so smart and, and like an adult. I should have put you to work long ago! Maybe this wouldn't have happened…_

Though she would never tell Roxas, for fear he would use the information against her, she almost regretted putting him on that plane. Really, as a mother shouldn't she be willing to work things out, without overreacting or being rash? Actually sending her child away hundreds of miles in hopes he would come back reformed? That didn't sound like something she would do.

"Okay, Roxas," she said sweetly. The front door squeaked as it opened, making her frown. She told Fynn hundreds of times to fix that thing. "Well, honey, Fynn just came home from work, so I'm gonna let you go…unless you would like to talk him…do you?" She tried, but with a reluctant grimace on her face as she said so.

"_No." _

Daisy grimly nodded, wiggling her fingers in a wave as Fynn walked into the kitchen, an easy smile coming onto his face as he spotted her. "Oh…okay, Roxas. Well I love you, sweetie. Call me in a few days alright?"

"_Yeah, yeah, okay." _

"Okay, I loove youu." She drawled out, hoping he would catch the hint and hating that she had to do it at the same time.

"_Love ya too, mom. Bye bye."_

"By-" She started but was silenced by the absolute sound of CLACK as the phone was hung up. Daisy frowned and wiped off her soapy hands to remove the phone that had been nestled in-between her neck and ear.

"What's wrong, honey?" Fynn asked as he poured himself a glass of water.

Daisy waved a hand around a gesture that said to her 'This and that, everything and nothing'. "Just…you know. Roxas."

"Ahh, Roxas," he said, thicker eyebrows shooting up. "And how is our little rascal? Hopefully not in too much trouble."

Daisy sighed. "What trouble can he find in Arizona? In Sedona? His major worry is staying up for shifts he's on."

Fynn took a sip of his water, look at his wife with a level gaze. "Then why don't you sound happy?"

Daisy sighed loudly and leaned back on the sink, her body language letting him know he hit the jackpot. "It's just I worry I didn't do the right thing. I feel…like I'm not being a good mother."

"You are a wonderful mother," Fynn insisted. "Roxas is just--"

"He is not a bad kid." She glared.

"I was going to say 'going through a rebellious phase'," he stated, holding up his hands to show her he meant no harm. "Roxas just needs a little more…responsibly in his life and a bit more discipline, don't you agree?"

Daisy nodded rapidly. "Yes, yes, exactly."

"Then you did the right thing!" Fynn exclaimed with a wry smile. "He is with his father, away from those bad outside influences we talked about and has a job which provides the responsibly and discipline we both think he needs, right?"

"Right." Daisy confirmed.

"So. You did the right thing. He doesn't sound like he's worse does he?" Fynn inquired.

"…No. He sounds like he's gotten a more mature, if anything," she conceded. "I just worry about him."

"Every mother worries about her child. It's natural," her husband said with a shrug.

Daisy nodded mutely. Fynn, though she thought he was a genius at times, did not understand her motherly troubles. Fynn, who was only two years older than she was, did not understand what it was like to have a child, a baby. Fynn, even though he was wonderful and a love, could not even begin to hush her worries. Times like these made her wish she kept in touch with Minnie Merlow, with her thick curly black hair, big black eyes and small build, who was like a sister to her, who understood her thinking no matter what was going on, who Daisy lost many years ago.

Minnie was her best friend since seventh grade. They went to the same high school and eventually they both were accepted to the same prestigious college, Cornerstone. Cornerstone was stationed in Arizona. There Daisy met her first husband, Donald Casey and through him Minnie fell in love with Mickey Maston, Don's best friend. How quaint, she thought, how wonderful, how perfect would it be that they, who were best friends, would also date best friends. Together they fantasized of joint weddings and raising their children together and perhaps their child being best friends, or better yet, falling in love! They would share grandchildren, they screamed. How wonderful that would be. Really, they thought. Finding two best friends to date was a great match. Surely it was perfect.

Two years later Minnie and Daisy were married to the best friends and Daisy had a child, Roxas. Oh, how beautiful he was as a baby. He looked like an angel, with his baby blue eyes and blond hair, with his wide megawatt toothless smiled he might as well be one. Daisy chose to drop out of college to raise him; sure she would go back to school in a year or two. Minnie and Mickey decided to wait until they were out of college to start a family. So two years later, just days after their graduation, Minnie announced that she was pregnant.

For two years Daisy lived in bliss, making pancakes for dinner and gossiping with the locals with Minnie. Just two years where she was content being where she was, with her education at it was and their home as it was.

And then she realized that she wasn't happy.

She wasn't a teacher, like she wanted to be since fifth grade. She wasn't even a college graduate. She was living a tiny two room house in nowhere, desert land. She was only twenty-two and had a four year old child. She didn't even have a job; she just stayed home taking care of aforementioned four year old. Was this really her life? Did this really make her happy? When she told this to Minnie, the pregnant again woman looked at her evenly for a long moment. Then she confessed to Daisy that she was as happy as a clam and Daisy just needed to sleep on her feelings and see how she felt in the morning.

In the morning Daisy felt the same. And the day after that she felt the same. And the day after that and the day after that and the day after that. And soon she was growing grumpy, easily irritable. She took every chance she could to get out of the house, get away. Don didn't understand her at all. Minnie didn't get it.

One day she bumped into Donald's old friend Goofy who came up from Phoenix to say hi. In her hands was a screaming, fitful Roxas and nine filled to the brim grocery bags that she kept dropping. On her third trip to pick up those damn bags a voice stopped her.

"Daisy? Gawrsh, it that you?" It was Goofy. He stared down at her, concern downing his brown eyes. He picked up her grocery bags for her.

With that, Daisy broke down.

He took her and the increasingly sleepy Roxas out to lunch where Daisy told him _everything. _

And he told her to leave.

It took two more years before she finally convinced herself to leave. Two more years of growing irritation and fighting. There was not a time when she was not starting a quarrel with the man she swore to have and to hold, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death did they part. Eventually she signed the document that relinquished her from these words and moved back close to hometom, to Twilight Town which was only forty minutes away from Kastle, where her mother lived.

She lost her husband, she lost her best friend, she may as well have wasted six years of her life were it not for Roxas but she regained her freedom, she won herself back and fought for a new future, one that held her dreams in it.

_----_

"_Among the dandelions and tigerlilies, it's quite the jungle here. But wait, hush up, quiet your mouths, the white rose is to your south. Get on your knees as she starts to quietly sing;" _Axel tapped his fingers on his steering wheel, finding the beat of the song, but not so confidant in his knowledge of the lyrics to follow them as they went by.

"_The role of a white rose is to stand by and look pretty, giving her two cents during great calamity. They treat me as a princess but I have to confess; I can not continue doing this." _Her voice is very pretty, Axel thought, very melodic. She sings like in a lullaby, soft and sweet. Axel chuckled at his poetic thoughts. Maybe Wonder's effect was getting through to him by its local band, who were alternately softly serenading and screaming at him via the car speakers.

"_I…I, I, I-ee--I want to break out from these roots. All they do is lock me in, 'It's for your own good'; It's for your own good! If I stay here they will win!" _She cried, sounding hysterical as she did so. If he remembered correctly her name was Luna. Was she the one who wore those white vintage go-go boots? Or was she the one who had on that blood red dress?

"_Again and again she screams, until the big red rose starts to sing, orchestrating. The daises sing the chorus, in their pubescent voices. They can't drown out her fighting. The orchids bellow loud their opera but they can't stop her!" _The Cheshire's, they called themselves. It was ten at night when the redhead was walking around, thinking of heading back to Lucy and going to the motel for some sleep, when he took a wrong turn and ended up on the door step of a whole in the wall called The Mad House.

"_You can see her, dressed in white, in a veil, see her angry eyes as she starts to wail; You can not stop me! You can't shut me in! I will be the one to win!" _She screamed again. Axel smiled at her fury absently thinking, _go-go boots. _While the passion was clearly evident in the audio CD it registered on the Richter scale when live. They were a beginning band, trying to find someone to listen to them, give them a voice so they could reach others. The lead male voice a man who had artistically placed piercings in his face said that was their spiel for whenever anyone came by and was interested. The songs, he said were actually a product one a really bad acid trip.

"_This white rose has no repose while you sing peaceful poetic poems. There is more to life than singing beautiful solos! I can't begin to imagine how much I don't know! Try to shut me out, try to shut me in, I don't care. There is no way you can win!" _Axel bobbed along to loud and hard beat, soaking in the words to it. Maybe next time around he would be able to sing a bit to it, but it didn't matter much to him. As long as he had something in the air, that was important. Something to fill the empty space between him and wherever he ended up. "_Try to shut me out, try to shut me in, I don't care. There is no way you can win!" _

Since Axel lacked social interaction for most of the day, or for days on end, he sometimes freaked himself out about losing his voice. He would attempt to speak, in spite of himself, and find that he couldn't muster up a word. So singing along to the radio or to a favorite CD was his way of staying sane as he traveled about the country, driving from new town to new town.

"_Try to shut me out, try to shut me in, I don't care. There is no way you can win!" _He was feeling better now, though still embarrassed that he fled Wonder so quickly. After chugging a bottled water and stuffing a bag of Doritos down his throat he discovered The Cheshire's CD _Grin_ wrapped up in a t-shirt he bought with it and pushed the disk into the stereo before he knew what was going on. And _viola! _Hard guitar riffs greeted his ear, the singers singing of white rabbits, talking doors, floods of tears, and killing monsters with fire. Halfway through the CD the second time he realized it was like a story, the entire album was a story, albeit drug induced, but it was still a full blown audio book.

He couldn't stop listening to it, couldn't help but grin as he found out new information that he missed last time. _The Cheshire's, _he grinned, _you're gonna hit it big. And I'll be there way ahead of everyone, flashing your self made CD and hand printed tee. _

Axel flicked on his turn signal as he belted out her repeated chorus with her. _"This white rose has no repose while you sing peaceful poetic poems. There is more to life than singing beautiful solos!" _

---

Roxas hung up the pay phone, smartly placed outside of the motel rooms, waiting for people like him to make a call. He let his hand linger there, glaring at it before sighing. His mother. He could write a book on the things thought about her. It would be composed of four chapters; Love, hate, despise, and confusion. He ran a hand through his blond hair, mussing it up as best he could, trying to get it the way he liked. He'd done it so much it was like second nature for him.

It was only five o'clock, leaving him with two more hours until his shift started. Roxas sighed. Maybe he'd go watch some more TV…or rearrange the clothing in his drawers…he could make his be--no, no. He already made his bed. Roxas sighed, dragging his fee back to 14-1. It didn't feel right to call it his room. Maybe he could find Yuffie? An uneasy feeling bubbled up in his stomach. He couldn't go find Yuffie while she was busy working, that was…weird, creepy, almost desperate. _I'm not desperate_, he told himself. _I'm just bored. _

"_Roxas!" _

Said boy froze, whipping around quickly, probably too quickly, to find who shouted his name. He brightened. "Yuffie!"

She grinned as she bounced over to him. "Hiya! How you?"

The blond rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed. "Not much, really…"

"Well, what have you been doing? Lying around on the bed watching TV?" She laughed but it died down to a nervous cough as the teen's ears turned red. "Oh."

"Yeah…" They both fidgeted, not comfortable with the setting. Roxas was struck at how much she really reminded him of Sora in that moment, all jumpy and eager to do anything, something to make it better.

"I know!" Yuffie exclaimed. "How long do you have until your shift starts? We could explore town together!"

In spite of himself, Roxas actually felt excited by the idea. It would be awesome to get out of this place for a little while, to have a change of pace. But then he felt that pinprick of his teenage pride. How pathetic was it to have to rely on someone you barely knew for fun? If Roxas was home right now he would have ten more people vying for his attention, at least ten other things to do than '_explore town' _with this bubbly girl.

Roxas felt his upper lip turn in a sneer, directed at his only companion in the town. He forced it down and replaced it with a reluctant smile. "Sorry, Yuff. But, uh…I," Roxas searched for a plausible excuse, something that was better than getting out of this place. He found none. "…I need to make a phone call. I need to call home," he stated, forcing himself to sound excited at the prospect, even as he felt guilty for the way Yuffie slumped, disappointed.

"I'm really sorry Yuffie. But I really need to check up in my mom, she wanted me to call," why did he feel so sick lying to her? "…Maybe some other time?"

Yuffie nodded slowly, eying him. She saw through his façade but honestly if Roxas wanted to be like, let him be like that. He'll come around. He had the whole summer. "…'K, Roxas." She said, slowly uncharacteristically slowly. "Some other time, then. Just let me know when you start getting serious cabin fever alright?" Yuffie tiptoed back, waving wildly and flashing a grin before bouncing away, probably to go 'explore town'.

She left Roxas alone, leaving staring at her back, screaming in his head 'Come back! Come back!' but not having the balls to say it aloud. He was left to do whatever he thought was better than being with her, who actually liked him and actually wanted to spend time with him.

What the hell was wrong with him? Why couldn't he just accept her invitation like a normal person?

Roxas knew why. He was spoiled by the year spent with Sora, the year where he suddenly had ten times as many friends as he used to. People came up to him, randomly; people who he used to looked at with envy, with their big group of friends, all lounging by someone's locker. People who partied hard and lived on the edge. He became used to offers of beach bonfires, keg parties, blunts and nights of skin touching skin. To the Roxas that spent night and day with Sora Taylor, the boy who started it all, 'exploring town' was for no name losers who couldn't play hard.

Roxas turned back to room14-1, to boredom, to agonizing boredom, anything but back to that nameless loser who stuttered when someone higher on the food chain spoke to him.

---

It was well past midnight and no one was up, not even a mouse, Riku thought. Not even Mr. Taylor or his wicked witch of a spouse.

The platinum blond congratulated himself on his rhyme, grinning. He turned to tell Sora it because he loved corny little rhymes and would get an even bigger kick out of one that included his parents, but forgot all about to when he flopped his head over.

Sora was a sight to behold. When was the last time he looked at Sora, just to look at him? Just to trace his jaw line or gaze at his lips or eye the bones jutting out slightly at his hips. Again Riku grinned at his rhyme but didn't consider telling it to Sora. He wasn't high enough to talk about feelings or deep thoughts, so he just stared at him, admiring.

Sora's chest moved up and down as he panted, little beads of sweat still here and there, yet to be dried by the musky air of the room. His skin was soft, Riku knew, soft like a teenager's rarely was. He was softer than Riku that was for sure. Under that skin was wiry muscle, not a lot but enough to be able to support the boy in a fight. This, Riku also knew to be true, as he sported testimonies of this on his eyes for a few weeks.

He was adorable in the ordinary day, sexy in the right light, stunning as he lay next to Riku, exhausted from their efforts.

They had sex. Not only tonight but in general, they had sex. And Riku…he'd had a lot of sex but he was confidant that it was better with Sora, more…passionate maybe. Meaningful. Times like these, when one of them didn't have to leave right after, when it wasn't a stolen moment in a bathroom or a car, made him think about the first night they had sex and how it felt, like, like someone turned a key in his lock. It sounded stupid, even to him, but that's how it was. Like Sora…unlocked him? Maybe…

Sora was a work of art, he was sure. From his deceitfully innocent face to his girlish hips to his big clumsy feet. They were still naked, everything still exposed to Riku, as it was just moments after the fact and both were not yet over the coital bliss. Riku laid there and continued watching him as Sora calmed, breathing evening out and a content expression coming over his face. At this Riku relaxed, muscles that he didn't know were tense loosening up. He smiled slowly and calmly and thought _I should say I love you. _

Sora turned to him, smiling small, like he was sleepy. _Aww. _His hair was mussed up, not even resembling his normal style of hair anymore, this currant style was more like a birds nest. The brunette sniffled, _aww_, and opened his brutalized lips to say something. _I love you. _"I miss Roxas."

Riku was halfway to saying 'I love you too' when he realized what Sora said instead.

What?

_What!? _

_Not even three minutes after we had hot, passionate, wild sex and you're starting on about that little twink?! Are you kidding me? What! What am I? Just some little distraction for you? We had just sex! Made love! What the fuck are you doing? You're ruining the whole after-effect here! _Riku shut his eyelids down tight, clenching his jaw, keeping his thoughts from being said aloud. They would only send Sora either into a fit of rage or tears. So instead he calmly said, "I know, Sora. I know."

The brunette scooted over to him, curling up against Riku. Sora pressed his body, that still carried his own wet semen on his stomach, against Riku's, the older boy wrapping his muscular arms around him, tugging him even closer.

"I just miss him so much," Sora mumbled while nuzzling Riku's pale throat.

"I know, I know," he replied, rolling his eyes and patting his soft brown hair.

_Sora Taylor, you totally ruined the mood. _

_--_

It had been five days since Axel left Wonder.

It had been five days and though usually Axel didn't pay much attention to the days that flew past, these five made stuck out somewhat. Perhaps it was because he hadn't found a remotely cool or even unique town to stay in. This struck him as super strange. Not just strange, but _super_ strange. Because Axel could normally find something worthwhile in every place he visited, even if it was only a pit stop, cementing it in his memory. But these places…they just didn't have any….ka-boom to them at all. Like Pride, Texas? Major little tight knit community boom. Wonder, New Mexico? Oasis boom. Even Macaulay, Louisiana had that freaky Goth looking playground!

Ooh, scary.

But those five towns he stopped in, it was like…they were…boring. Axel frowned, he even spent a day in each place, trying to find _something _that made them stand out. But he couldn't find one thing that made them unique, they weren't the same, but they weren't different either. The only thing that made those five towns, Axel didn't even know their names, stand out was the fact that they _didn't_ stand out.

It was so weird.

By now Axel was worried something strange was going on, why else would five out of five towns be abnormally normal? It was like they were all step-ford cities, so creepy. Why else would they all be so boring? Why would the people be so subdued? Why would everything be so…so gray? And why wasn't his stereo working?!

Axel fiddled with the stereo while trying not to swerve into the lane next to him. Being only five in afternoon there were fellow travelers on the road and Axel did not want to end their road trip, nor his, early with a fatal car crash. Hmmm…for some reason…his radio wasn't…going. It wasn't playing music even though, even though it looked like it was….Hmm. Maybe he'd accidentally…Axel absently flicked the volume knob.

"SCREAM! SCREAM YOUR AGONY!" Axel jumped, swerving violently as the singers voice assaulted his ears, only missing the car next to him by millimeters, panicked he overcompensated and turned to the right sharply. Thankfully he was in the farthest lane to the right and immediately went off the road into the cracked and dusty desert, stomping on the brake hard and jerking into a full stop.

The car he almost hit flipped him off as they went by, screaming "FUCK YOU!" Axel, adrenaline pumping through him, repaid the favor in full, giving them the middle finger from both hands and yelling, "Right back at ya, fucker!"

He glared at the passing car until it was out of sight and took in a heavy breath. Oh, crap that scared the fuck out of him. Axel blew out his breath, running a shaky hand through his spiked hair. Whew that was close. Heart still pumping he started up Lucy again, making sure to have the volume down all the way. Lucy groaned at him, whining. He hushed her and pulled back into the interstate, evading cars going seventy miles an hour.

Uhhh….maybe he should keep the stereo off for awhile.

After several more minutes of the most cautious driving Axel had ever done, a large green sign announced; PHOENIX 20 MILES.

He grinned.

---

Phoenix. A town named after the mythical and immortal firebird and was aptly named. The heat of this town was unimaginable. Like being in an inferno, even though it was well on its way to night. Only four hours in Phoenix and Axel knew the town wasn't for him, he knew that as soon as he turned the key in Lucy he was getting the hell out of there and he wasn't coming back.

Oh, Jesus Christ this had to be the worst stop he'd ever had. At first he thought hey, why don't I grab a bite to eat before getting a room for the night? That plan turned sour when the restaurant he picked served crappy coffee, burnt his burger and had the meanest waitresses he had ever seen. Come on, _Medusa_, stop glaring at him, it wasn't like he was taking a table someone else wanted, jeez. After he managed to swallow the rest of the burnt burger and leave a nice tip in hopes she would perk up a bit before hightailing it out of there, god she was freaky.

Second; as soon as he stepped out of the restaurant his wallet was stolen; requiring him to chase down the kid and tear his wallet away from the street urchin's greedy hands. Axel gave him a lecture about stealing from guys who could beat him up before trying to navigate his way back to Lucy. And then just as he was rounding the corner to his girl, he heard, hell he could almost _feel_ it in his bones, a gunshot, a _gunshot_, from behind him.

Axel was man enough to admit he screamed like a little girl.

So that's why he was never going back to Phoenix, why he was already back driving in Lucy after such a short trip to the big city. "Lucy," he told the car. "We are never going back to Phoenix." Lucy gave a little rumble of agreement. And then just as they were reaching the very edge of city something terrible happened.

Fwap, fwap, fwap, fwap, fwap, fwap went one of his tires. "Oh, come on!" Axel smacked the wheel, furious at his back luck, furious he couldn't find a good town to stay in, furious his restaurant had terrible food and terrible service, fuming that his wallet was almost stolen and fuming that he heard a gunshot in the middle of town and now fuming that his tire was going flat! Fuckin' shit.

_Fwap, fwap, fwap _apologized his tire. _Fwap, fwap, fwap. _Fuckin' car, fuckin' tire. Axel took the thought back immediately. "I'm sorry Lucy," he said as he pulled off to the side of the road. "I didn't mean it." Thankfully the tire didn't get flat twenty miles away, or he might have to replace it in pitch-black darkness. Under the orange light of light post Axel gingerly took off the wheel and placed a new one on, tossing the flat aside. Poor Lucy, he thought and clicked his tongue.

So know he was tired, sweaty, furious at his bad luck and just wanted to go to sleep and start all over again, this time somewhere new. There was no way Las Vegas couldn't be interesting. The city of lights was maybe four hours away? And it was ten now, so he would get there at two in the morning. Axel clucked his tongue again. Two in the morning? Could he stay awake that long? He'd been up since six…no, he couldn't last the whole way. …But at the same time he didn't want to turn back and go to Phoenix. He would do anything but go there again.

"Lucy, it's decided," he told her. "We are going to drive into the night for as long as I can keep my eyes open. And then we will crash, hopefully at a nice hotel," he added. Lucy roared in joy, happy to move her wheels a bit longer. Axel flicked on the stereo.

Two and a half hours later Axel was alternately keeping a close eye on the road and dozing off. His eyelids were heavy and kept drooping down on him. He would be paying attention to the yellow and white faded lines of the road on second and then burst forth to new consciousness the next. He couldn't keep doing this. He was gonna run off the road and crash into a cactus!

He was sooooooo tiiiireed. He needed a place to sleep. Just for one night at least. As if it was an answer to his prayers, a green sign was illuminated that announced REST STOP UP HEAD. 4 MILES. Underneath it showed a sign of a four seasons, which made Axel's stomach clench. Ugh, the last four seasons he'd been in was in Chicago and ugh the very thought of that hotel made his skin crawl. Was he really going to stoop as so low to go back to a four seasons? Was he that desperate? He _really_ didn't want to…but he was so _tired_…

And then, lighted up by his headlights was another sign that proudly declared SEDONA! POP'U 6,517, EXIT 2 MILES AHEAD. COME REST YOUR HEAD AT THE FLYING LION was advertised next to it, on its own little sign.

'Sedona', he mouthed, in awe. A town! A town that wanted him to sleep! Oh happy day! Elated, Axel pressed the gas down harder, eager to get to this Sedona, eager to rest his head at the Flying Lion, whatever that was, it sounded much better than the Four Seasons. And it's closer! His sleepy mind sang. It was closer to a bed, closer to sleep.

Axel turned his car onto the road that led to this fabled land of sleep and lions.

The radio mumbled softly as he followed the old road. Soon he came to the actual town, the main road a strip of shops that he couldn't quite see and houses beyond them he didn't quite care about. What he did see and what he did care about was lighted up in front of him, like a shrine or some shit.

The Flying Lion it announced, all pretty letters and nice sign, not like some of the other sleazy light up glitter signs. Axel turned into the drive way, trying to follow the glowing white lines of the parking lot and doing a shitty job stopping the vehicle inside them. There was a little glowing light at the front of the building and like a bug to a bright light he was drawn to it.

He set a foot onto the parking lot, onto the ground of the Flying Lion, unknowing of what it would bring, unknowing of what disasters or triumphs he would acquire or even caring if he acquired them at all, and walked to the light.

--

Roxas had spent a week in Sedona, working with Yuffie at his Dad's motel and avoiding outings with both of them. He decided he hated it here and wished he was back in Twilight Town. But sometimes, sometimes he was lonely and sometimes… he liked being with Yuffie, a lot. But he was only lonely sometimes and he only wished Yuffie was around to talk to _sometimes_.

Sometimes, like now, when he was awake and everyone else was asleep and he was… alone and lonely. Times like these Roxas really wished he had some form of human contact right now, _at all. _

But these feelings were only sometimes and Roxas only entertained them because he had nothing else to do. At least, that's what he told himself. These nights were very boring and he had yet to actually have someone come in and request a room, so thinking was his only form of entertainment. And it was these thoughts he was thinking, all the while wallowing in his own misery, when the bell on top of the door jingled, and alerted him that someone had come in.

Roxas straightened, snapping up to greet his first customer with a megawatt smile that dropped as soon as he registered the person, the man, who walked in.

Like a rock star, or a celebrity, he sauntered in, as if he had every right to be here, as if he deserved it. All long legs and angles, he was like a skeleton, a freaky tall skeleton. He had this bright red hair Roxas was sure was fake and sharp bright green cat eyes and holy shit how badass is that, he had _tattoos under his eyes_. Dressed in simple jeans and a white t-shirt he was…handsome? Awkward? No, no, not awkward, Roxas thought, this guy knew exactly how to move. He was…misplaced. Yes. He was misplaced. He looked like he should be going to a, a fashion shoot or, or, or even walking off some big rock star show with hundreds of girls clinging to him, screaming for him. He looked different and new to the boy who wanted to see something different and new, if only for awhile, if only to entertain himself for a few minutes.

Roxas felt himself take in a harsh breath at him, another as the man looked at him with those eyes, oooh, he couldn't wait to tell Sora about thi--.

"May I help you?" Roxas said. The redhead grinned at him, but it was sleepy and lopsided and it should have not made his heart jump into his throat like that.

"Can I get a room?"

And so began Roxas's summer.

* * *

I am so sorry. For this late update. I kept getting distracted. But here she is! Chapter six, Act II! fun begins....for real this time. can you belive i'm only a third done?

DON'T DO DRUGS, OR DRINK, OR HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, please. I feel the need to say this so i won't feel like i taint you with talk of it. It's not cool. Also, unless i say otherwise, the lyrics in here are my own. Like the Cheshire's? They're mine. So please dont, i dunno, steal, or whatever. I'm pretty sure you won't but still. the city Macaulay, louisanna is from the song From Macaulay Station by The Lucksmiths. I'll try to get CULT up soon, but be prepared for a four day wait, which isn't too much right?

Review if you have thoughts/think. I like babble.


	7. Act Two, Scene Two Prepare Yourself

Happiest reading!

* * *

Summer Boy

"I don't know if I like this," Kairi sniffed, holding up a skeazy shirt thoughtfully. She wiggled it in front of Sora, demanding his input on it silently.

Sora narrowed his eyes. Why couldn't she just ask him? No need for pushing it on his face. He felt the shirt, like Riku taught him, testing its thickness, feeling if it was of good quality. Most tees these days, Riku said, are too thin, they get worn out easier and you had to get a new one quicker. Plus, he said, you would have to get a tank to go under it if you didn't want people to see your bits.

"Uhhh, I dunno, Kai. What are ya gonna wear under it?" It looked like it was transparent, almost see-through but not quite, still had one itty-bitty layer of fabric keeping you from baring it all.

Kairi took it back and studied it, puzzled, feeling it the way Sora did before turning back to him, a funny grin on her face. "Uh, nothing?" She laughed and placed it on her arm, along with a pair of hardly there shorts and a pair of skinny jeans that were on sale and would, Kairi said, totally show off her butt. Sora curled his upper lip at her. Why was he here? Why was she here?

She was a crappy replacement for Roxas.

Sora glared at the little at the uncreative designs of the shirts. Had he been here before? It was like everything they had he'd already seen and already dismissed. They had nothing cool looking. Maybe this was what he got for choosing to hang out with Kai this afternoon. Sora figured that they places you went to shop represented your person. Take Riku; he went to trendy and expensive shops, solidifying him as a man of good taste and composure. Kairi went to stores that sold see-through shirts, pink leather mini-skirts, and neon flip-flops for four bucks. Sora sneaked a glance at her.

What did that mean?

Sora wasn't one to badmouth his friends, especially Kairi since she'd been his gal-friend for many a year. But he couldn't help but be irked at her presence. It was like, why wouldn't she shut up about Tidus? Tidus didn't like her. They hooked up that one time and there was no emotional attachment to it at all, why couldn't she see that? But no, she kept going on and on about how he secretly liked her but was just shy and god wasn't he just _so_ cute?

Perhaps she had forgotten that he and Selphie date and he only looked at Kairi because the brunette girl broke his heart again just hours earlier. And that now, two days later, they were back together.

Hey, he tried to tell her but, well…she doesn't listen. Girls. Like she has some kind of hater radar and just tuned out whenever it appealed to her. Sora wished he had one as she blabbed on and on about Tidus's hair. Honestly, who cares?

…

Whoa. Did he just think that? Before he could puzzle out what it meant, Kairi piped up again.

"So, you hear?" The redhead, who held up one of the very, very, very low cut shirts to herself, asked. She looked at him slyly, sneaky, baiting him. Sora narrowed his eyes. Gossip. Not that he didn't enjoy partaking in it every now and then but lately it was like, c'mon, get a life.

"Hear what?"

She folded the shirt back, toying with him, playing it coy. Uh, why couldn't she just say it instead of beating around the bush? He repeated himself, louder, more demanding. Her eyes widened before she rolled them, giving him her sassy 'The fuck's wrong with you, bitch' look.

"Well, jeez. Fine if you're gonna be a bitch…"

"Just fucking tell me Kairi. Gimme the skinny."

She glanced around, like there was anybody else in the area, and leaned in.

"_I heard Roxas is in rehab."_

Sora choked; a garbled sound something from deep inside his throat. Kairi went back t her shirts, smirking and grinning at his reaction. "I know, right?" She shook her head. "You think you know someone…"

Sora glared at her. He hadn't choked from shock. He choked on laughter. Roxas in rehab? Hah! Roxas never touched _anything_ worthy of going to _rehab_. And Kairi? Acting like she knew Roxas? C'mon. Roxas would never waste two words on her…Sora paused in pushing the clothes hangers around. Roxas had class, something Kairi clearly lacked. Roxas would never even step in this store. Roxas only ever went to the mall because Sora wanted to and always dragged him along. Now that he thought about it, what do you do at the mall? They only got new clothes in every two weeks, so why was Sora here almost every other day?

Why the fuck was he here? And with Kairi, who Sora suddenly didn't want to be with _at all. _

"Roxas," Sora stated. "Roxas is not in rehab."

Kairi smiled, as if she knew better than he did. "Yeah, babe. He is." She raised both of her thin and perfect eyebrows at him. "He is."

Sora whipped the clothes hangers down the rack, barely glancing at them before dismissing them. "Oh yeah? And who said that?"

Kairi snorted, rolling her eyebrows at his 'weird' behavior. "I heard it from Nami."

"Nami?" Sora mimicked, sneering at the name. Ugh. He hated her. "You heard it from Naminé? She's so full of crap. It's not true, Kai."

She snorted again. "And how would you know? Oh, that's right. He's your _other_ boyfriend. The one you fuck when Riku isn't willing. Heard about your guy's threesome by the way. That's hot."

Sora saw red. Oh, if she wasn't a girl and if they weren't in public. Oooh. He would have let her have it. How dare she. The little bitch.

"_S-c-a-n-d to the 'a' to the l-o-u-s. Can't handle it, can't handle it, damn that girl, she's scandalous." _Sora's phone sang to him from the depths of his back pocket, Sora was sure that to any one behind him it would look like his butt lighting up. The thougth was usually funny but… Ugh, he didn't even like this song. It was so stupid.

"_Ahh! _I _love_ this song!" Kairi bobbed her shoulders to its beat, Sora giving her a slightly disgusted look. She would.

_Riku_, the screen of his sidekick announced. Sora felt his heart do a little flip. "Hey baby," he gushed.

"_Hey, Sor. Whatcha doin'?"_

"Ohh, just looking around the shops with Kai." The brunette sent a withering glance at her.

Riku laughed, the sound husky and hearty to him. Riiiiiikuuuuu. _"Oh yeah? You havin' fun? Say 'Riku you're so funny!'_" Riku said in a terrible sounding falsetto. _"For no and…yes… for yes I guess."_ Riku chuckled again, Sora's knees felt a little weak. _"I rhymed." _

"Riku," Sora gushed. "You're so funny!" Riku laughed loud and hard, Sora's favorite _Riku Laugh. _Kairi sent him an amused glance.

"_If it's so bad why you still there?"_

"Rikuuu," Sora whined. "You don't get it. I can't," He raised his eyebrows at Kairi, holding up his index, _One moment please?_ She grinned at him, mouthing _sure, _before walking toward the bras and panties. "Okay, she's gone."

_"You know,"_ Riku drawled. _"You're not supposed to hate your friends."_

Sora flushed. Even though Riku was miles away in Traverse today it felt like he was under the boy's level stare. "I don't- I don't _hate_ her."

"You just don't want to be near her at all," came Riku's smartass retort. "Ahhh, I see."

Sora huffed and scratched the beck of his neck, a nervous habit of his. "It's just….ahh I dunno." He could hear Riku shuffling around, where was he now? "Are you done with college hunting? Which did you settle on?"

"Ah, ah, ah," Riku said. "Don't change the subject; I think we're breaking new ground here."

"What're you my therapist?" Sora sneered, turning on his heel to another clothes rack behind him and flipping through the articles of skimpy clothing without really seeing them.

"Ahhhh, but alas, I am not. What I would give to be in that position though. The things he knows," Riku mused. Sora felt his gut wrench, nervousness coming over him. He felt...weird. Self coconscious.

"Mmmmm. Riku…" Sora mumbled. Riku knew better than to talk about it, besides his therapists was more a counselor if anything. "Stop."

Riku coughed and mumbled an apology but Sora was suddenly very anxious to get off the phone, very anxious to end this conversation. Riku should know better and he honestly did, so he was quick to change the subject. "But yeah!" The older boy exclaimed. "I think Traverse U is the one."

"…Yeah?" Hmm. Traverse. Only an hour away…not a long drive.

"Mhmm. It's only an hour away from home, so I can come back whenever I'm missin' you." Sora found a smile was working into place. "And it's a nice town, great shops, you can come up and look for _shoes_," Riku teased. "And ya know, just while you're there, you might as well come see me." That's it, Sora was fully grinning, a megawatt smile from ear to ear.

"Well, only 'cause I'm already there," Sora said, sighing like it was a major pain, a burden to see the older boy, who was soon to be a college student. Wow. "…I can't believe next year you won't be here…"

"…I know, Sor. I know…"

"It's just…It'll be so weird and I…well," Sora let his sentence fade away. _I'll_ _miss you so much_ was right on his tongue. But he couldn't say it, couldn't let himself go down that far, be so vulnerable.

"_I know, Sora. I know." _

_Do you really, _Sora thought. _How can you? I never tell you… How can you know me so well when I never told you? How can you know how to make me smile when I'm sad? Make me laugh when I cry? How can you make me cry…or make me mad…or make my knees feel so weak when I know I'm strong? You make my heart beat so fast and my stomach feel so fluttery. Why? How?_

"_I love you, Sora."_

Oh, that's how.

---

BANG, BANG, BANG. The sudden and violent noise dove into Axel's unconscious mind and dragged him back kicking and screaming. The redhead groaned and flipped onto his back, casting a bleary glance to the cheap alarm clock that was bolted to the nightstand. One twenty-two. He blinked, unsure of whether it was night or day but sure that he did _not_ want to be awake. Why was he awake at this possibly ungodly hour? He flipped over, pulling the covers back to him and snuggled, prepared to drift into sleep again.

_Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang_, Axel whined loudly again and the noise stopped, making him feel very victorious and proud that he made it stop. This feeling lasted for all of two short moments before it returned again, this time mimicking the very famous 'skunk in a barnyard, pee you'…maybe that wasn't the correct rhyme but it was the one he grew up with and well…

_Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang_, a pause. _Bang, bang_. When the pillow over his head did nothing but make his head hot he shouted, "What do you want fucker?!"

Roxas stared at door, indignation all over his features. What the fuck? He just came to tell this guy he parked his car in three different lanes and he was calling names? He was doing this douche a favor! He glared at the golden numbers 7-1 and hit the door like it was someone's face. "What did you call me?!"

Axel sat up, eyes wide. Holy shit, did he say that aloud? Fuck! "Uhh." Outside someone knocked at the door with new fever, as if they were going to knock down the fuckin door. Shiiiiit.

Roxas kicked at the door. Oh hell no, no matter how cool that douche looked, he was not getting away with that, not without getting a piece of Roxas's mind. "What did you _fucking_ call me?"

The redhead swung his legs over the bed. Oh, fuck. _You gotta me kiddin' me. _He glanced toward the motel door. Outside, some guy, probably seven-foot eight and weighing in at two hundred and sixty pounds was ready to beat the crap out of him. Why? Who knew. …Shit. He only wanted to sleep for Christ's sake.

Axel stood, wincing at the thought of actually answering the door but knowing it was inevitable. Three steps to get around the bed and four to the door. Axel gulped, undoing the lock and pulling the door open slowly, ever so slowly. "I am so so--" he started to say but stopped himself when the hulking figure he was expecting turned out to be a kid, hardly five foot four and barely weighing ninety pounds soaking wet. Axel recognized him as the kid who gave him a room last night, knowing now that it was morning, sun shining above and the sky as blue as this kid's eyes. Axel frowned at him. "What."

The blond glared and stuck a finger in his face. "What did you fuckin' call me? Say it to my face."

Axel swatted his hand away. This kid was half his size. Axel could take him. "Listen kid, whatever I called ya, it doesn't matter, 'cause _you_ are the one who woke me up. You deserve my wrath," he added while scratching his stomach. "Whaddya want, Blondie?"

Roxas seethed. If he were a cat, his hair would be standing up in fury. Seeing his reaction, the redhead, whose name Roxas didn't remember, waved a hand around like he was dismissing Roxas's indignation entirely. The man said to him, "Don't mean to be grouch but… well," the redhead motioned about himself. Roxas noticed that his hair was all over the place and he was wearing only boxers. The teen flushed, well, he did wake the man up and he supposed it was an unwanted alarm. But still!

Roxas opened his mouth to say such but the redhead leaned against door and looked at him with half lidded eyes, like he was tired and about to fall asleep standing. Memories flooded Roxas, half-lucid memories of eyes, _bluegreenbrownhazel_, looking at him that same way but with a different emotion behind them. His rants died in his throat. "So, what did you say you wanted again?" The man asked, slowly, lazily. "You aren't selling girl scout cookies are you?"

Roxas narrowed his eyes at him, pouted his lips unintentionally. "No. I'm a boy, stupid. Get your eyes checked," It was childish to say but it came out of the bond's mouth before he knew it.

The redhead blinked at him, face annoyed. "Maybe it's the sleep cloudin' them up; ya know the sleep I _was_ enjoying up until you graced me with your presence."

Roxas resisted the urge to stomp his foot, reminding himself that he came here with a reason, a purpose in knocking at this guy's door and waking him up. "I graced you," Roxas sneered. "with my presence to inform you that you did a shitty parking job and you need to move your shitty car."

Axel's jaw dropped. Oh no, he didn't! "Shitty!?" He asked and put his hands on his hips, the motion drawing Roxas's eyes to them, to see that they were bony and jutted out like a womans. "Shitty?" He asked again, voice filled with exasperation. Maybe Roxas crossed the line somewhere… Some guys fawned over their cars for reasons Roxas didn't know nor cared about. The redhead shook his head at his feet. "Shitty?" he asked them. "Are you kidding me, kid? Have you even seen Lucy?" He shook his head, red, crimson like blood, scarlet like a fire truck, locks shook with him. Roxas idly wondered how much the dye job costs. "Have you even fuckin' seen my Lucy? Ugh, kid, trust me, she is not shitty."

Roxas frowned. Who the fuck was Lucy? Wait…ohmygod, did he name his fuckin' car Lucy? Roxas stopped himself from giggling. He named his car! What a psycho! "Dude, I don't care about your ride--"

"Did you just say ride?" The redhead grinning, delightfully mocking.

"What I do care about--" Roxas glared. "Is that you move your car." The redhead stared at him, a thin eyebrow cocked as the teen crossed his arms and glared purposefully at him. He did nothing, just regarded Roxas with amused eyes and a mocking smirk. He fidgeted under the steady green gaze but he stood still, unrelenting, saying with his posture 'I'm not leaving until you move your car, mister, haha-ha-haha, and there's nothing you can do about it.' Blue eyes never left green and Roxas wondered if the redhead had heard him at all. Then, the smirk turned slowly into a friendly grin and he said;

"Hi. My name is Axel. What's yours?"

----

Roxas stood diligently on the sidewalk, head held high as he watched the redhead, Axel, climb into what Roxas figured was 'Lucy' and 'not a piece of shit'. Frankly, Roxas didn't know cars, he had no idea what set a Corvette from a Mustang or what either of them even looked like. He just knew that if it looked new it was a nice car. Lucy, Roxas admitted, looked nice and seemed to run good… What the hell was he talking about? He wouldn't know what a car would sound like if it was running bad, or what running bad meant.

Roxas had answered Axel's question shortly and glared and pursed his lips until Axel rolled his eyes and sighed that he would go re-park his car, like it was such a chore. On the way to catastrophe Roxas saw that Axel had the longest legs he had ever seen. Even more slender than a model's, he thought, and wondered if the man ate regularly.

They came to 'Lucy' and the hardly clothed man-for he didn't change and just walked out his room, out into the world, in his boxers like it was no big deal at all- laughed and apologized, saying something about being sooo tired and something about Phoenix before hopping into the car, yelping as the hot leather burned his skin. Roxas felt something akin to jealousy as the redhead backed up the car and repositioned himself before parking perfectly, right in the lines. The teen had only a permit, the privilege of getting a license taken away from him after coming home smelling of beer and smoke one night.

"Sooo," the redhead inquiredm after he shut off the car and sauntered over to the blond again, long, long legs carrying him fast. "What do you think? Pretty nice job if I do say so myself."

"It's parking," Roxas retorted, looking away from his hips. "Not that hard."

"On the contrary, my young blond friend." Axel smiled down at him, those long legs made him tower over the teen and tapped his nose with what Sora described one time were 'Artist fingers' or 'Pianist fingers'. "Parking is an art."

"An art," the blond dubiously repeated, swatting his hands away from. "Uh huh, sure."

"No, no, no, Roxas. I'm serious." Axel threw his hands around as he spoke, as if they could articulate his speech better than he could. Eventually they came to scratch at his chest, for just a moment, just a fraction of a second, but Roxas had to tear himself away from the sight, had to force himself to look instead at the man's face. "--You see what I mean?"

Apparently when he had been admiring the male form, Axel was going on and on about something, probably the engine of his car, and was looking at him…imploringly? Yeah that was it. Axel's bright green eyes looked down imploringly at him, like the world depended on Roxas's answer. Roxas nodded, making a sound of agreement at the back of his throat. Axel grinned, relieved. "See? I told you. It's aaaallll in the wrist."

What? "Uhh, yeah," Roxas replied, pulling a piece of hair behind his ear. What was he talking about? A couple came out of one of the rooms, giggling and holding each other close. As they came around the corner, they gave Axel strange looks, the female whistling at him. Roxas felt sudden embarrassment for the redhead and for himself for even being near him. Axel just smiled and waved at the two, the girl grinning back and waving while the man flipped the tall redhead off as he opened his car door.

"Why can't you, you know, dress?" Roxas said, trying not to eye the exposed flesh. Axel frowned and scratched the top of his head.

"Uhh…I can?" Axel looked down at his lack of clothing. "I can dress."

"So…go dress?" This guy… Roxas raised an eyebrow as he started nodding fast, agreeing with the blond.

"I will," he announced, smiling with thin lips.

"Uhh," This guy! "Congratulations?"

"Don't be snotty, Blondie," Axel tsked. "I will go change," he turned his back on Roxas to look out at the rest of the city, the only visible part of which was the 7-11 and a diner across the street. "And then I'll go explore this city of yours," the redhead turned, locking his green eyes with Roxas's blue. God, why was everyone so obsessed with seeing this little no name, nowhere town?! This was fucking _Sedona, Arizona _there was nothing to do here! Jesus Christ. He had half the mind to tell this to the traveler, to inform him that he might as well go to the next town, or the next, to tell him that there was nothing to do in little towns like these and he should get out as fast as he could, but Axel stopped this rush of words with his own.

"So, what's your favorite thing to do?"

He said it so enthusiastically, head bobbing forward, coming closer to hear to him, genuinely interested in what Roxas did for fun in _Sedona_. His smiling face shocked him. Roxas faltered. "I…Don't."

Axel furrowed his eyebrows. "You don't what?"

Roxas scoffed. Here he was miles away from home, miles away from any life he was used to, talking to some faux redhead wearing nothing but plain orange boxers and a curious look on his face. Worse, they were talking about Sedona, the one place he really didn't want to be in, he kept telling himself, the place that he was forced to be. "I don't. There's nothing to do here!" Roxas insisted. Axel took a step back from the blonde's outburst, cautious, fearing he just stepped on a verbal landmine. "It's a fuckin' nowhere town in nowhere Arizona. It has a population of six thousand! What do you think there's to do here?"

In response to Axel's backward step Roxas took two forward, bringing himself close to the taller man. "This place is just another small town, not even on the map, there's nothing special about it, nothing unique," he spat. "This is just another shit-hole. I would suggest just getting in your car and keep driving and get away as fast as you can."

He turned on his heel, ready to leave Axel all alone with his words, ready to just go back to his room and seethe by himself. Axel called out, stopping the blond.

"Well…It's my experience that there's always something special about a place…even if it's not special at all. I mean--"

"Don't you get it?!" Roxas flipped back around and took angry steps back to the redhead. "This place is a cage, a box. The only good I'll have about this place is when I leave!"

"Jesus Christ!" Axel yelled, stepping back again. "You must've had a fucked up life kid. What made you hate this place so much? Augh, God, please don't answer," he added as Roxas puffed up, ready to hurl another insult at the town. "I was just trying to ask a local what the scene was like, didn't mean for you to go ape shit. Jesus, are all locals like this?" Axel muttered to himself, something about Arizona, something about Phoenix; while Roxas felt Axel comment shoot straight through him like an arrow.

A local… People like Yuffie…like his father…people whom actually like this town and wanted to live here. Roxas felt the need to defend himself. "I'm not a local," he muttered. "I don't live here."

Axel just looked at him, raising an eyebrow and squinting his eyes at the blond boy. That steady stare of his, like he was boring thought right to Roxas's wrinkly brain, right into his thoughts, made his fidget. "What?" He asked, incredulously. Was this kid for real? Of all the people Axel met on his travels, never had he ever come across someone like this kid. He didn't even live here, but he was hurling verbal abuse at the place. "What?" he asked again, still not understanding how it was possible.

"I don't live here" he spat again. "I don't belong here in this shit hole--"

"How do you know it's a shit hole if you don't even live here?" Axel asked as soon as his brain came up with the question. When Roxas could only open and close his mouth like a fish Axel jumped in with another. "Where _do_ you even live?"

To that, Roxas had an answer, easily formed and available to hiss. "_Here_." Axel stared, that mind-reading gaze again. But apparently, he wasn't that much of a psychic because not two seconds later he said again, "What?"

"Here, I live here." Roxas pointed to the side of the motel, trying to make the man understand that yes, he lived in the motel, and wondered why he was doing so. It was none of the redhead's business; he didn't need to know, why was Roxas telling him these things?

Probably because he would be gone by tomorrow, off into the real world.

Axel's eyes widened. "Shit, you live in a motel?" He looked around the building, like he was taking it in for the first time which was highly possible since when he came in it was pitch black.

Now that Roxas thought about, how weird was it to live in a motel? You don't live in motels. You stay for a night or two and then you leave. He was preparing up a smart/sarcastic reply for when the redhead said as such but it died when instead he uttered, "Damn. That's so cool. I mean, I've spent my fair time in a hotel but shit, I've never lived in one." He turned to the blond, eyes shining with the new information. "What's it like? What do you do?"

Roxas glared. "I told you; nothing. There's nothing to do here."

"Then why are you here?"

Why was he here? Roxas hesitated, nerves jangled up at the question, being severely hit at the question. "I'm just here for the summer," he murmured.

Axel shook his head, eyes widening. Holy fuck, did he open some kinda twisted present of teenage angst. Oh how nostalgic. Axel remembered his teenage years…so he decided to through the kid a bone. "Well, you might as well make the most of it?" The kid just glared up at him, probably thinking 'You don't know my pain!' or something akin to that. "I mean…Just don't judge everything just because it's different than the life you knew. Trust me, I know for a fact that little towns like this are just full of cool shit…" he stated, using his hard earned knowledge as advice.

"So…just…I dunno attempt to like the place you're in? You have no choice by the sound of it…" Axel laughed weakly, things to say running out quick and the menacing stare the kid was giving him was kind of freaking him out. Axel motioned toward the general direction of his room. "So…I'm gonna go. And… Eventually go see this town you claim to hate. I'll let you know if it's as bad as you say it is, okay Blondie?" Roxas said nothing but his lips pursed together tighter at the words and he let out a huff of air as his goodbye when the tall man started walking away. "Well, I'll see ya around…" Axel mock saluted him before officially turning away.

Roxas fumed, but couldn't form any biting replies while the lecture went on. The redhead was mocking him! He had no idea what Roxas was going through and yet found it necessary to talk down to him, try to give him advice. Roxas sneered and turned to his motel room. He didn't get it. Probably some hippie looking for the next Mecca or Woodstock. He probably never had worries and faults and problems like Roxas did. Axel didn't understand that Roxas understood that he really had no choice but to be here. Roxas knew there was no way out of this, at least until the end of summer and his mother consented to him coming home. And it sickened him, made him angry, that it was the way things were. He didn't want to like Sedona…he didn't want to be here at all. He didn't belong here.

That's what he kept telling himself, all the way to his little motel room, to sit in the dark and watch TV until he fell asleep.

--

Wow, Axel thought. Just…wow.

The sunset here was beautiful. He'd seen sunsets from all over now and all of them were different, all of them unique to the place. He was laying back on the hood of his car, just watching the clouds turn colors as the planet turned and the sun shined on another part of the world. All around Sedona were large red rock formations, climbing high in the sky.

In the east, the mountains are covered in healthy green trees but as you went farther west the barer they became, the more proud the sandstone was. It was as if the formations really were trying to extend into the sky above, reaching to touch clouds or the sun. They covered the landscape here, the formations a sight to see after hours of otherwise uneventful driving. Sometimes Axel thought he would go crazy if he saw one more rock and other times he was begging for the change in landscape.

How anyone could ever say a sight like this was boring or that it was dull was beyond him. That kid must be suffering from terrible brain damage. Axel frowned. That kid just oozed angst-ridden hormones. Here for the summer, huh? If Axel were him, he would do everything the town offered, every little thing that Axel would have had to forgo, since he never stayed in a place long enough to do them. Axel blinked, a thought coming to him suddenly, hitting the correct synapses and shooting straight to the brain.

The kid complained of having nothing to…So why didn't Axel show him! Ah! What a great idea! He would be changing the very foundation of the teen's mind! Good deed for the week accomplished!

He sat up, ideas flooding him. The rocks formations, perfect for scaling, rock climbing! Hiking! Bike riding! And that was just outside the town. He only saw the tourist shops so far today but they looked cool and he was sure there were more where they came from. Heh, the kid wouldn't know what hit him. Axel thought he saw a visitor center earlier, they would have all the information he would need to possibly change the summer of a possibly depressed, moody teenager.

Axel smiled to himself as he started the car up again, feeling good about himself and thinking about how kind he was being.

---

It was Wednesday, so Roxas was in housekeeping while Yuffie was manning the front desk, Aerith had the day off and Tifa was making the other side of the motel spotless.

Roxas was cleaning rooms 1-1 through 7-2, ground floor and second floor, alone. He and Yuffie cleaned together, Aerith and Tifa cleaned together, Tifa and Yuffie cleaned together, and Yuffie and Aerith cleaned together but Aerith and Tifa did not clean with Roxas. It irked him, the thought made his stomach clench the tiniest bit but he told himself he didn't want to clean with them anyway.

Tomorrow he would have the day shift with Yuffie and the day after that he would have the day shift at the front desk and after that the night shift again. Then it started all over until Sunday, which he had off. It was maddening that Roxas knew exactly what he was doing all week, all day. If he were in Twilight Town, he would be making it up as he went, impromptu trips and unexpected detours to fun places, cool places, places where Roxas would do what he did. Smoke, drink, and kiss.

Smoke whatever was handed to him.

Drink whatever was on hand.

Kiss whoever was closest and cutest.

Roxas entertained these ideas, tossing situations around, thinking of witty things he would have said, picturing puckered lips saying something back. He guessed who was throwing parties, who would be there and who wouldn't.

He wondered if Sora was still going to them and if he was having fun.

Roxas was lonely, the only people he talked to in the past few days came to a staggering three. Yuffie, his dad and his mother. Oh, and the redhead, Axel. Can't forget him. And Roxas couldn't. Since the tall man, who couldn't be more than what? Twenty? Twenty-one?, was his one and only verbal communication with anyone not from Sedona (besides his mother and she didn't count), the conversation stuck with him and the more he thought about the more embarrassed by it he became. God damn, he was a spaz. He was the first person who registered as remotely cool in this nowhere place and Roxas totally freaked out on him.

Roxas sighed as he dumped the dirty towels in the large cloth hamper. He looked around the room and when he saw nothing that needed further attention he decided to leave, even though he didn't get on his hands and knees and scrub the tile of the bathroom floor. He didn't see the point, not when he'd be back in a few days. His philosophy didn't agree with the girls' work ethic but their work ethic didn't agree with him.

The blond had the cart half way out the room when a pair of hands stopped him, softy touching his shoulders to prevent him them from colliding. Roxas jumped at the contact, yelp coming out of his mouth before he could stop it. His heart thudded in his chest, oh holy fuckin' Jesus, he was about to be kidnapped or mugged or thrown into some human trafficking--…oh.

Axel smiled at him, apology in his features. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare ya."

"You didn't scare me," Roxas said fast. "I was just…surprised."

The redhead looked around, brow furrowed. "Uh…Some people may say a surprise _is_ a scare."

"Well, I don't think a surprise is a scare."

"…Okay."

"What do you want?" Roxas grumbled, pulling the cart fully out of the room and kicking the door closed with a SLAM! Axel eyed the abused door and its abuser with a wary expression.

Axel held up a finger. "Stay right there, I have something for you." Roxas raised an eyebrow, prepared to say something witty and cool but the redhead quickly walked away and the sarcasm died in his throat.

He opened a motel door, 7-1; the one Roxas assigned to him, and disappeared, giving the boy again a raised finger to say, _one moment please. _

Roxas debated leaving.

But then again…it's not like he had much else to do. It'll delay cleaning the next room and, though Roxas wouldn't admit it aloud, would be the highlight of his day.

Because Roxas was lonely and far away from home and he kind've wanted to stick around because Axel was a difference in the monotonous days. He looked different in a good way from the people Roxas should've been spending the hot summer days with and different in an awesome way from the people here. More…out there? No… More…experienced? Maybe. Confidant? Axel came out the room, smile already plastered all over his tattooed face. Roxas made up a new category, one that encompassed the redhead perfectly.

The Axel Category.

He was just Axel. The kind of guy that didn't think twice about going out in only his boxers, the type that checked into motels at one in the morning, they type that asked the 'locals' what they like to do for fun. The type that gave said people a pamphlet titled STARGAZING.

At first Roxas thought he was looking at a little paper book of the album Stargazing by Jupiter, his favorite band ever in existence. His poor heart plummeted back into place when he realized that it really was about stargazing, the act of looking at stars. At night. Probably outside. Confused blue eyes met twinkling green.

"Cool, huh?" Axel motioned outward, toward the town. "Sure is the coolest crappy town I've ever been to," he grinned, making light of Roxas's frustrations.

"I'm sure." Blue eyes would have been scathing, withering, had they not been scanning the pamphlet, had they not been looking at the starry sky background, and admitting that yes it was cool.

Axel started rambling on about what he did and though Roxas mentally thought that he didn't give a flying fuck about what he did, he listened, soaking in what he said.

Apparently, there were "pretty cool, antique-y" shops and that the town had "The most gorgeous sunset," that Axel had seen in awhile and Axel knew sunsets. Roxas watched the way his lips moved as he talked, the way he stood, how his hands flew around, like they didn't know what to do. Only because Axel talked really fast about the endless expanse of stars, excitement in his low voice, only because he leaned on Roxas's cart, only because his hands really did fly everywhere, of course.

When he was done, Axel smiled at Roxas, his teeth twinkled white, his eyes twinkled green and he said, "So. Have I changed your mind, yet?" And Roxas looked at him, he molded his face into that blank look he perfected, the one that looked mean and sassy and disinterested and said one word back to him. "No." He said it that blank way he perfected, mean and sassy and disinterested even though he only used the look and the voice when he _was interested _but shouldn't be and didn't want anyone to know he was.

Axel's face fell, twinkling smile missing, mayday, mayday, all officers be on the lookout for one great grin. "Oh."

Roxas sniffed and threw the pamphlet in the hamper. "Stargazing? Really? That's it? I knew it. Congratulations, you've proven my point for me."

He would've walked away, mean and sassy and disinterested but he had a job and it required him to move two doors down and clean up whatever mess 3-1 had to offer.

Axel made a noise, not a huff but not a grunt either. "Well then, I guess I'll have to try a bit harder next time huh?"

"Yeah, I guess so," he said back, mean and disinterested but he was secretly smiling to himself now that the redhead couldn't see.

_Next time…_

Roxas pocketed the pamphlet as soon as the door shut behind him.

---

Over the course of the next week, the stack of pamphlets on Roxas's nightstand grew. Axel somehow ran into him every day, whether the sun was up or if it was down, whether Roxas was working or walking to the phone, he always saw Roxas and made a beeline for the boy, handing him a thick pamphlet first before going into some lengthy story about the days' activities.

And while Roxas would really be grinning like mad on the inside, laughing hysterically at the funny way he told stories, on the outside he listened calmly, patiently, as if he was only humoring Axel. And every day/night he would say something along the lines of 'I'm not too impressed' and Axel would frown before promptly leaving also saying something along the lines of 'I'll be back tomorrow. Be prepared to have your brain explode from sheer excited-ness and impressed-ness'.

Roxas would be cool as a cucumber because that's how he made friends, how he made a pal, a buddy. He liked Axel. He was funny and charming and witty and just…Axel. From his stories about Sedona, Roxas also gathered that Axel was an experienced traveler, often talking about places that were similar to what he saw in town. The fact that Axel just up and left whenever he wanted to and went wherever he pleased fascinated Roxas. He was like an adventurer, going around the world in search of a new place to see, new people to meet, a new story to tell. To Roxas, Axel was The Shit.

The man was just plain interesting and never, not once boring. Granted, Roxas didn't _know_ Axel…but he liked him nonetheless. He looked forward to Axel finding him and trying to sell him on the fact that Sedona really wasn't an insipid little town. It was the highlight of his day when he spotted the bright red hair that was Axel's signature. He made the day interesting. Even Yuffie commented on how Roxas was a bit more cheerful.

But one day Axel didn't come around.

Followed by another day.

Roxas's mood died. He probably left, Roxas realized. Of course he left. He was an adventurer and the adventure in Sedona must have been had. Why _would_ he stay? He probably saw that Roxas was right and that Sedona wasn't worth sticking around in. Roxas mentally kicked himself.

For a second…for a second Roxas thought Axel would stick around.

…At least tell him goodbye.

But of course. Why would he? Better places to go and see than Sedona after all. Even though it had great stars at night and beautiful sunsets. Even though it had rock climbing and hiking and biking and camping. Even though it had pretty cool antique shops and awesome deli sandwiches. Even though he made a point to see Roxas for a week and tell him all of this, Sedona just wasn't special enough to stick around in.

There were other, better places.

"Hey Roxas!" Said boy started at the name, turning probably too fast to the direction the call came.

It was Tifa, manning the front desk. She beckoned him over. Roxas furrowed his brows. He was going to get a bag of chips and settle in for the night, his usual routine. But…whatever Tifa wanted could only take a second and he was glad for the delay at any rate. The busty woman smiled as he came closer. "Hey, Roxas. Think you could do me a favor?"

His eyes narrowed. "Uhh. Sure. What is it?"

"Well, Aerith called me just a few minutes ago. She forgot to get the towels from the pool and George hasn't come yet so…" her smile turned apologetic. "Think you could pick 'em up and lock up?" She jangled a ring of keys. "Pleeeease?"

"Sure, sure. No problem." Roxas caught the keys as she tossed them. "Make sure you bring that back, k?" she called. Roxas saluted her.

The pool. Even though Roxas was on the ground floor and thus had access to it via his sliding glass door, he didn't dare use it. There was always someone in there, a little kid or a brood of little kids, or obnoxious teens, or adults lounging on the chairs. The audience made him uncomfortable so he steered clear, just coming by at the end of the day to pick up towels and other miscellaneous items the temporary residents left behind. He didn't really like the oblong shaped pool.

He frowned as he fiddled with the keys, wondering which one locked up the outside gate and knowing he was going to have to try all of them. The teen glanced up to survey the area, trying to locate the forgotten and lost items beforehand.

The first lost item he saw was Axel.

Even in the dark, his bright red, scarlet, crimson hair stood out and Roxas mused that he could even see his bright green, jade, emerald eyes. The redhead didn't seem to see him or he was just too immersed in the sky above him to notice he had company. Roxas softy smiled to himself. So he hadn't left after all.

"You know," he said, his voice loud in the quiet night. "You're not supposed to be here." If Roxas startled the tall man Axel didn't let it show, he only slowly turned his face to the blond, that steady, level, mind reading stare again. Roxas felt the need to elaborate. "The pool closes at eight."

Axel said nothing and Roxas squirmed.

"You know," he finally said, slowly. "I think that's the most pleasant thing you have ever said to me. Ever."

Roxas scratched the back of his neck. Really? No way. Roxas must've said something…oh. "Yeah, s-sorry," he stammered. "I…I'm just…That's just how I am." They were more personal words than he usually said to the man a product of the fact that he was _so happy _Axel didn't leave. So happy that he didn't just speed off without saying goodbye to the blond teen.

Axel stared, reading his mind or taking a peak at his soul. "The way you are," he repeated.

"Yeah…It's just…how I roll, I guess." Roxas spotted a white towel close to his, near glowing in the dark and he grabbed it, clutching it in his hands like it was his only lifeline under Axel's cool gaze. "I…um…" He couldn't think of anything interesting to say, before now Axel started the conversations and Roxas ended them. He settled on, "Why're you still here?" And cursed himself at how rude it came out as.

Axel barked out a short laugh, like he was laughing at something that was clearly not funny, laughing only because it was ironic. "Why am I here?" he mused. "Ya know, I have no clue. I was staying around 'cause I wanted to help you out," Axel laughed that not-funny laugh again. "But you really don't seem to give a shit do you? Here I am, going out of my way to try to make your life not so miserable and you just don't give a shit. Jesus, what's wrong with you?"

It wasn't in Axel's nature to be like this, but God the kid really just pushed all of his buttons without a care. He tried, he tried _hard_ to bring this kid local goodies and he just had it thrown right back into his face like his efforts were meaningless.

Roxas fumbled around his words, trying to think of something to say, trying to at least avoid Axel's steadily turning harsh stare.

"What the fuck is up with you? You say you hate a place you never even bothered to know and you toss away all of my efforts to make not so bad because I knew you for five minutes and I could see you were unhappy. But you don't want to happy do you?" Axel spat. "You want to be miserable. You're intentionally making life hell for yourself, you know that? Jesus. I don't get why anyone would ever do that to themselves."

Roxas stared at his shoes. He was wasn't he? He was everything Axel just said and then some. Axel had him pegged within five minutes and he even didn't know why Roxas was here, not at all, he had no clue.

"I…" Roxas started, before choking on the words. Axel's green eyes bore into him and the tall man said hard and harsh. _"What?" _

"I…I just wanted to have fun," Roxas choked out. "All I ever wanted was to fun… And, and I didn't mean for it to turn out this way. I was just trying to live a little. It wasn't supposed to happen like this," he said it, finally said it. And he said it like he was pleading for Axel to understand, to listen to him.

"Roxas," Axel said, stunned. The use of his name coming from him was strange. Usually it was kid, or Blondie. "What're you talking about?"

"I'm a bad kid," Roxas cried. "I drink, I smoke, I do drugs and I sleep around. It's why I'm here. My mother all but threw me out here because of it. I may never go home. And even though, even though my friends are douches and probably don't give a shit about me," he said, frantic. "Even if they use me, they're all I have. Sora is all I have. Hayner won't even look at me anymore. He hates me, they all do. So Sora is the only friend I have and I fucked it up, Axel. I'm not good at making friends, I never have been. So I don't mean to be a dick, it's just how I am now."

"Roxas."

"I didn't use to be like this. I used to be nicer, I had three best friends and I loved them. I really did," and now the tears were flowing, his nose becoming snotty. When was the last time he'd ever told this story?

"Roxas," Axel tried, taking in what seemed to be his life's story.

"For years and years and years. And then I fucked it up, I fuck everything up, so please, please, please don't think I hate you. I just don't know how to do this anymore. I--"

"Roxas!" Axel cried, haphazardly getting up from the chair he was in. "Jesus fuck, Roxas. Just sit down. I didn't mean it like that. Sit down." He took the near hysterical boy by the shoulders and sat him on a cheap poolside chair. He sat down across from Roxas and sighed, the air tickling Roxas's kneecap. "Jesus, I feel like I'm on Oprah," he grinned but it faded as Roxas just grew more upset. Ah shit.

"So let me get this straight," Axel pointed at the blond who stared at him helplessly, hopefully, like he was wishing to dear god that Axel could make sense of his life. "What you're saying is; you're just like every other teen and your mom got pissed about it and sent you here?"

"There's more to it than that," Roxas mumbled.

"I'm sure there is," the redhead sighed. "Look, I'm sorry for giving you shit, I just…It just got to me okay? I'm sorry," he blew out a long breath. "No wonder you don't like it here. So what? You came home and your bags were packed or something?"

"No…I didn't come home one night, I got wasted and after a year of that my mom packed by bags. I was here two days later." Roxas shrugged. Now that he was coming down from his little honesty outburst, he couldn't believe that he said the things he said. And said them to whom he said them to. Axel ran a hand through his hair.

"Well, shit."

"Yeah."

He clicked his tongue a few times in the silence while Roxas beat himself up for being so forward. And for what reason? So that Axel, who would forget about him in the next week or so, wouldn't think he was a bad person? He felt squeamish. But maybe that was his empty stomach as not a moment later his it growled, demanding food.

Axel laughed and stood. "C'mon, Roxas. I know a great little place just a few blocks from here. Open twenty-four/seven."

"Okay, but help me get the towels. I need to lock up."

--

The great little place it seems was a McDonalds, to which Roxas copied Axel's not-funny laugh. "Are you serious?" he asked Axel, who opened the door for Roxas like a gentleman. "I thought you went to little hole in the walls all the time."

Axel shrugged, following him inside the brightly lit fast food restaurant. "I also have respect for the classics. Gotta respect the classics. Did you know that Arizona is the only state that has blue arches instead of golden? It's true. They thought it would _clash_."

They didn't eat there; instead Axel got their food to go, saying that even if the town was sleeping this was Axel's one big chance to introduce him to it. Roxas smiled because Axel let his little outburst fall behind and talked to him like he used to, only this time Roxas let himself laugh and comment back. After the bag was thrown away and they were headed back to the motel, Axel complaining "My feet hurt dammit. I'm not wearin' any shoes!", Roxas looked up at the dark sky above him and saw all the clusters of stars, the actual sight much better than the picture on the pamphlet.

"Hey, Axel?"

"Hmm?"

"Does this count as stargazing?"

Axel glanced at him and saw his head was inclined backwards, facing the stars that had accompanied Axel on many a lonely journey. "No," he said. "You have to really go out there, like into the desert, and just look, all night."

"Whaaat?" Roxas complained, still looking at the little lights light-years away.

"Don't worry," Axel said, just as they came to the motel, the floodlight illuminating the sign. "I'll take you. After all I promised I would show you the town."

* * *

Voila! Took longer than normal because well, life sucks and I had a bad week and i'm not apologizing for that. UM, i'm going to update one story every week, instead of having both of them updated in the same week like i was doing, just to prepare for school starting and all that junk, (school starts on tuesday! i am so not ready).

Ugh, noticed that i had an uh-oh in the story. Sedona apparently is really famous, i had no idea. I picked it because it sounded pretty and just trimmed down the pop'u to fit. Sorry arizonians, i am uncultured miswestern swine, please forgive me. this story now has a total of seventy-six, seventy-six!, pages. i am so proud. i'll prolly cry when it hits a hundred. (EDIT: Sora's ringtone is Damn You Look Good And I'm Drunk(Scandalous) by Cobra Starship. I only like The City Is At War by this band but I figured Sora would really love their more...hipster songs)

REVIEW or just say hi. :) hello~


	8. Act Two, Scene Three Go!

_**Happy Reading.**_ :]

* * *

Summer Boy

When you're a kid, with baby fat still clinging to your face and you have stumpy fat little fingers and a mind full of rainbows and pure imagination, and suddenly you're in a new nameless place, with new nameless people, without the old familiar things you knew and loved, the bright world becomes a terribly frightening and lonely place.

But being a kid, a child, still a baby, you didn't know how to say this right, you just knew something was wrong, something was terribly, terribly wrong and you just wanted things to go back to normal.

"No, momma. I dun wanna go!" Roxas screamed, six and small in his still required car seat, with fat tears falling down his chubby face. He pleaded with his mother, "Don't make me! I dun wanna goooo! Noooowah!"

Because Roxas didn't want to leave his mother. He didn't want to go to school, even though she promised him that everything would be alright and everything would be fine and he would make lots and lots of new friends, wouldn't that be fun? If it meant leaving his mother, who was the only person he knew in this strange place, then what would happen to him? He had no idea what was beyond those big doors. For all he knew his mother would never come back to get him, would leave him alone and never come back.

Just like Daddy.

It hurt Daisy more than she thought it would, having to force him out of the seat, having to clutch his little hands in her big ones to keep him from hitting her, having to grip him hard and drag him into the school, having to watch him fight against her, scream at her, cry his big blue eyes out. She gave the other parents tight smiles as he hollered, kicking and screaming, every lungful she remembered, every tear, oh how he screamed, how he begged her.

It broke her down.

It took both her and the teacher to take him in, fighting hard, reaching for her, clinging to her skirt, not wanting to let go. "He'll be fine," the teacher said, smiling that smile, was she mocking or being kind? "I'll take good care of him."

These words made Daisy Violet, back to her maiden name, furious. This teacher, this woman, this strange no name woman who didn't know her or her son, was she insinuating that she could do a better job at mothering than Daisy could? How dare she! How dare she even imply that Daisy was an unfit mother! Just because…Just because she was alone now didn't mean that she couldn't take care of her boy…He was in good hands with her, the court even said so! No one can ever challenge that…no one could say she a bad mother.

Soon Daisy was huffing and puffing, forcing herself to leave before she blew up in the woman's face, leaving the crying boy behind with one last kiss to his temple. She stomped to her car, old and beaten up and the only thing she could afford, and drove off, planning to make it to that morning class with a clear mind.

She didn't make it to that morning class.

Daisy turned off the road and cried and cried and cried. Even though she was a full grown adult and should look at her new circumstances as a challenge and should be able to handle her emotions reasonably, she cried like a child, like her baby did.

Life shouldn't be this hard, she thought. Life shouldn't have be sadness with spots of happy in it. Why, why, why?! Why did she leave Don? Why wasn't she happy, like everyone else? Why? She didn't think she was doing the right thing now, not after watching her baby be pulled away from her, screaming and fitful all the time now. He knew something was wrong, he knew it every night when his Dad didn't come in to kiss him goodnight or tell him a story.

And it was her fault, wasn't it? She intentionally pulled her son into this…sadness and misery with her, because she couldn't bare it alone. Roxas didn't want to be in this, she cried. Why was she doing this? It was a mistake! She made a mistake… and now Roxas had to pay for it. He was going to grow up without his daddy now…and it was her fault…

Why? …Why, why, why, why, why, why, why?! This wasn't right…this wasn't the right thing to do. Was she a failure? She was raising a child alone now since she couldn't, no _wouldn't_ work out the problems in her marriage? Didn't make her a failure as a woman?

Daisy was alone in the new and frightening world that she forced herself into, that she jumped into blindly, and she had to deal with that. There was no way she could go back.

No, she would never be forgiven.

"I hate it here," she spat one day. Roxas was in bed, dinner just over. "I hate this place even more with every second I'm here."

Don just glanced up at her, so broken, so tired. He tried to muster up some good comeback but they both knew he was done; he was at the end of his rope. He could only weakly say, "We…We could get a new place--"

"With what money!?" She glared. "We can hardly pay bills as it is! We only manage to get by a hair every month!"

"Well, what do you want me to do, Daisy? Tell me. I'll do it," he said, desperately. He would do anything. She stared down at him, mouth in a tight, tight line. Her face was hard, no trace of the happy, delightful woman he fell in love with. But she was under there, somewhere he knew. They just needed to…work a little harder, fix a few things. Her hands shook.

"I want a divorce."

…Why? His heart…was this how it felt? Was this how it felt to have your heart, which you gave away out of love, thrown on the floor and stomped on?

"I can't spend my life here, wasting away in a nowhere life! I wanted to be a _teacher_, you remember?" She looked at him, beseeching. "I wanted to do some good. Have a happy life. Don…I didn't even finish college!"

"_You_ are the one who wanted to take care of Roxas," he said. "_You_ are the one who said you should drop out for now."

"Yes! _Fornow_. It's been six years! I'm twenty-four! You think I wanted to have a kid, sit around all day and wait for you to come home?" She shook her head, her short brown flapping around. "I wanted to graduate college. I wanted to live in a nice house. I wanted to be able to look my family and feel pride. I want to do all that."

"You can," he insisted. "You will. You don't have to leave," he choked on the word. "You don't have…"

But she was level, calm. She had this conversation in her head many, many, times. She was prepared. "Yes. I will. But not here. I can't do it here. If I stay here, in this no-name town, with no mane people, that's all I'll ever be."

Don was crying, the fool. He started begging her, "Don't leave me, don't leave me." He started saying, "I love you. Don't you know that? I've always loved you. I still do."

Daisy easily escaped his searching arms, his hands reaching out to her, to touch her, to hold her tight and keep her here forever. She was prepared, emotionless, expressionless.

"But I don't love you."

---

It was summer. And even though Arizona had little humidity, it was still _scorching_. Sweat easily collected at Roxas's brow and trickled down to his eyes so much that he had to wipe it away nearly every minute. Roxas was from _Twilight Town. _The hottest it got there was seventy degrees! His body wasn't made for these hell-hot days. He could hold his own in negative degree winters but…let's just say that Roxas couldn't stand the heat of the kitchen. This fact was becoming extremely obvious to Axel as time passed by, Roxas looking almost faint under the hot desert sun.

Who the hell would wear jeans and a zip-up in ninety degree weather?!

Evidently, Roxas would. And he was paying for it in sweat and a possible heat stroke later if this kept up. This could not go on.

"Hey kid, do you…wanna change or something? Aren't you hot?" Axel asked while he eyed the blonds near skin tight attire. He must be _dying _under all that.

Roxas averted his eyes to a collection of handmade glassware, all bright colors swirling or splashed within the transparent bowls, plates and other home-y objects that Roxas couldn't identify. What purpose would a wavy bowl-thing, that didn't even look like it was made right, have? He checked the price tag. _75 dollars?! _"Uh…no. I'm fine."

In truth Roxas was dripping buckets of sweat. _Buckets_. But he wouldn't let Axel know how uncomfortable he was, hell no. He wouldn't let the redhead having the satisfaction of knowing he was right.

The first words Axel said when they met up to explore Sedona? "Yeah, you're gonna die if you wear that. Go change."

So Roxas was devoted to showing him that he could stand the heat, _no matter what. _But his resolve kept slipping as the minutes, and beads of sweat, trickled by. Holy mother was it hot.

Axel was not convinced. "Are you sure? You look like you're gonna keel over any minute." He reached out to test Roxas's temperature but his hand was swatted away before the mission could be completed.

Irritated, Roxas rolled his eyes and huffed, picking up a little glass cup with bubbles in and holding it up to an eye, telescope style. "I told you I'm fine. I don't really mind it."

Again, Axel refused to let it drop. "Are you _really_ sure? 'Cause it's only gonna get hotter and I don't know where the hospital is so you can't pass out on me."

"I like your reasoning," Roxas dryly stated. "So if you did know where the hospital was I would be free to pass out as much as I like? Sweet deal."

"You know what I mean. I would probably end up, like, elevating your feet or something. I dunno. I wouldn't know what to do," he added as Roxas gave him a 'what the hell are you talking about?' look.

Roxas shook his head, laughing softly. "I'll say it again; I'm fine. The heat doesn't bother me too much."

"The sweat stains on you're funky little sweater tells a different story." Axel poked at the beginning of a sweat stain, showing under Roxas's arm. Axel, who himself sweated like a trucker with the air conditioning broken in the right circumstances, didn't see anything wrong with pointing this out in public. "Why don't we just go back? That way you can change into something cooler and I can show you this cool little patch of graffiti on the way."

"I don't--It's just--" Roxas breathed out, irritated. "I don't really have anything."

Dully, Axel just stared at him from his position to left of the blond, leaning forward on his elbows on a table top. Roxas idly examined little glass figurines, a ballerina, a unicorn, and a fairy before the redhead spoke again.

"Are you telling me," he started with a dull tone of voice. "That you came all the way to the _desert _without bringing on pair of shorts? Or flip flops at least?"

"Flip flops are the work of the devil," Roxas spat, crinkling up his nose at the mere mention of the foot wear. If Roxas were a girl, he'd be all over that shit. The chick sandals had cute designs on them, most the time. He'd wear them all the time if he was a chick, but alas he was not and the only flip flops guys had came in uninteresting styles and designs. If Roxas was going to wear foot wear, it had to have a unique, fun design. "And no. I didn't."

Axel stared at him in shock. "Are you stupid?"

"I didn't know what the weather was gonna be like!" he snapped, a bit annoyed and a lot a bit embarrassed.

"You knew it was gonna be hot!"

"Well, hot in Twilight Town is way different than hot here. I could wear jeans every day of the year in Twilight Town," Roxas seethed, hiding his growing humiliation.

"Well, Roxas, look around you. You're miles away from your little Twilight Town. You're in a new town, with new weather patterns, and thus you need to dress appropriately," he informed the teen, nodding. "C'mon, I can't watch this anymore. I'm gonna get you some shorts, no 'ifs', 'ands' or 'buts' about it." Axel didn't even give Roxas time to say those 'ifs', 'ands' or 'buts, just walked out the little store, bell jingling behind him.

And so Roxas came to own a pair of khaki men's shorts (Not to be confused with woman's shorts, oh no. These are two completely different articles of clothing.) dubbed The Exploring Pants (even though they were not pants at all) and a plain white shirt similarly dubbed The Exploring Shirt. Together they were Roxas's Exploring Clothes.

The day Roxas came to own The Exploring Clothes began a series of days that were oddly similar but completely different. Like, at the end of each day they spent going through the town Roxas became the owner of souvenir for that particular day. These souvenirs ranged from a weird shaped rock Axel randomly picked up to fallen street sign. The latter Axel spotted one morning Roxas had off. The redhead looked around for a moment and, seeing no one, grabbed the sign and sprinted away, leaving a bewildered Roxas to run after him.

Another thing that _just happened _during these days was that somehow, someway, one or both of them would say something. And it wasn't just any ordinary something or maybe it was, but to Roxas it was like they were playing truth and dare and every day they chose truth and something that Roxas only thought to himself or something only a few select people knew would come spilling out of his mouth.

These days with Axel were like a strange combination of a lost and found and adventurous catholic confessional.

---

"So Roxas," Axel drawled. "How does this compare with your Twilight Town?"

It was a few days in to their exploring and instead of goofing around and getting lost in town; Axel strayed from the conventional path today and instead hopped into his car, which had been sitting patiently in the parking lot. Curious but sort of nervous given the fact that Roxas knew Axel but didn't really _know_ him, Roxas jumped into the passenger seat and patiently waited for the journey to rumble to a stop.

When it did, they were two people totally encompassed by miles of desert, over looking the awesome scenery. In front of them were massive red rock formations that continued on and on. From their elevated height, Roxas could faintly see a few deer grazing and being so far away from the bustle of the town he actually heard a call of a large bird. Hills, rocks and sand was what he was looking at. But…looking at it like this…made it seem like much more than just intimate objects in close proximity to each other. This…was _life_.

"It…definitely has a greater wow factor," Roxas admitted, chin sitting on his drawn up knees, held close by Roxas's twining arms. The rocks were digging into his behind.

"Why do you like it there so much anyway?" Axel questioned, long legs sprawled out in front of him. Axel's posture was so much more open than his, Roxas noticed. Didn't that have a special meaning in psychology?

"I dunno," he muttered. "I guess it's because I grew up there, ya know? Isn't human nature to want to be surrounded by things that are familiar to you? It's…like a shock to the system to be in a totally different and strange place. Like…it's uncomfortable. I dunno. I just kind of like already knowing what's around me, I can't really imagine being anywhere else, ya know?"

Axel cocked his head, not looking at Roxas but at the never ending scene before him. Roxas, who wasn't looking at the desert but at Axel, noticed a little crease in his forehead but disregarded it as the bright blue sky making him squint.

--

"How many times have you watched a sunset?" Roxas asked, half remembering Axel's spiel about the Sedona sunsets a few days ago and half confused because it would be the third time they watched the sun go down and yet Axel never seemed to get bored of it.

"Oh, too many to count," Axel laughed. "They number in the hundreds."

"And yet you never get bored with them?"

"Nah. They're just so cool. Like, proof the world's turning."

"What, like the universe was a big lie scientists have been telling us for hundreds of years?"

Axel laughed. "Crossed my mind." Roxas let out a breathy laugh, rolling his eyes. "Do sunsets bore _you_?" the redhead asked, now a little worried. "'Cause we could do something else if you'd like. I just… assumed."

Roxas shock his head, sending blond hair, which caught a little orange tint in the tropical colored sky, flying. "No. No, it's fine. I haven't watched the sun set in a long time. I used to, like, every other day. There's this really big clock tower in Twilight Town and me and my friends would sneak up there and watch the sun go down and eat ice cream."

Axel hummed, idly tapping the steering wheel to a beat inside his head. "Do you miss your friends?"

Roxas went quiet, thinking. He always went on the clock tower with Hayner, Pence, and Olette… Going up there without them just seemed wrong. It was like the clock tower was off limits to him now. Like he'd forfeited it and now he had no right to even go around the place.

"Yeah…Yeah, I do."

---

"Sea salt ice cream."

Axel made a disgusted face. "_What_?"

"Sea salt ice cream. It's like, salty but oddly sweet and tangy," Roxas described. "It's blue. You've really never had it before?"

"I haven't even heard of it before. It sounds disgusting." Axel shuddered. "How can you willingly eat something like that?"

"Easy. You just bite and chew," came Roxas's smart assed reply. "It's really popular in Twilight Town. It's my favorite thing to eat in the summer."

"Me, I just stick with the classics. Rocky Road."

"That's not a classic."

"Compared to _Sea Salt ice cream _it is," Axel sneered. "Okay. I can you're starting to get up in arms about this. Let's stop before I get punched in the mouth. You're turn."

They were playing twenty questions. Or rather As Many Questions As You Want. They were really silly questions like 'what's your favorite color?' or 'What's your favorite movie?' But who said the questions had to be superficial?

"Who was your first kiss?"

Axel blinked at him, taken back by the close to personal question. He asked 'what's your favorite ice cream?' and Roxas follows up with that? "Uh…Like Aunt Sally kissed me goodbye kiss or I tried to shove my tongue down Susie's throat kiss?"

Roxas chocked on his spit for a second before regaining his composure. "Susie."

Axel thought. Chewed on his lip and thought. "Larxene DeVil. Second grade. She smacked me around after I laid one on her though. Had two black eyes for weeks." Axel grimaced as Roxas busted out laughing. "Don't laugh! It was a traumatic experience for me."

"Oh, yeah, I'm sure," Roxas giggled. "Poor Axel. Winces every time he kisses a girl."

"I did!" Axel exclaimed, eyes wide. "Cindy Hartman, sixth grade. Slapped me across face. I just couldn't win with chicks."

"Oh, how did you _ever_ get through it?" Roxas questioned snidely.

"I had great friends who stuck by my side during that very difficult part of my life," Axel sniffed. "Led me through some very important character building years, I would have you know."

"And here I was, envisioning you as some sort of Casanova, making girls swoon at the every sight of you," Roxas smirked.

"Oh, I made girls swoon, alright!" Axel chuckled. "As soon as I realized that I didn't care so much about chicks, they started caring about me. High school, what can you do?"

Roxas chewed on the inside of his cheek, knowing he would be mulling over this new information for days.

---

"How old are you anyway?"

"Twenty-one. And no. I will not buy you beer. You?"

"Sixteen. And I wasn't gonna ask you to."

"Uh-uh. Suuure."

--

They were running. Or rather Axel was running and Roxas was chasing after him, coping the redhead's turns and twists blindly. "Axel! Hey, hey Axel! Wait up!"

He turned back to glance at the struggling blond and, laughing, turned into an alley, sliding down the wall until he was sitting, clutching his stolen street sign, grinning like a maniac. Roxas came to his hiding spot, panting and sweating. He really should not have skipped gym class so much.

"Wha--What are you doing Axel?" The blond panted, all but collapsing next to him. A river of sweat was dripping into his eyes. He was so out of shape.

"Runnin' from the coppers, of course," he replied, looking forward. Axel jutted his chin out. "Thought you would like this."

"_What?" _

But Axel just jutted out his chin, like he was silently saying 'Look'. Breathing hard and feeling sweaty and gross, Roxas turned to look at what Axel so desperately wanted to show him. In that gross, dusty alley, loaded garbage cans not two feet from them, was large graffiti writing, less than a masterpiece but more than a simple throw-up or tag. In swirling 3-D letters filled with yellow fading into green fading into blue, on a backdrop of a perfect blue sky, dreamy clouds included, was the simple message HOPE.

"I know you're in a rut right now," Axel said. "So I thought you could use this. Just so, I dunno. I mean… There's always downs but you gotta remember that there's ups too. Just 'cause your life sucks now doesn't mean that it'll suck forever!"

Roxas grimaced at the redhead, one eyebrow raised and jaw dropped slightly until Axel looked at him and scrambled to reword.

"Uh, that is… Well… that sounded a lot cooler in my head. I just… Once upon a time my life was really shitty, but instead of throwing a hissy at random strangers," Axel eyed him. "I just soldiered on, thinking that the next day might be better or the next day would or the next day or the ne--"

"I got it Axel," Roxas sighed, rolling his eyes which where squinted under his small smile.

"Just sayin'. You never know, so you shouldn't mark tomorrow as a disaster because it might not be. And if it is then the next day might be better."

"Has anyone ever told you," Roxas drawled. "That you would make a great motivational speaker. I mean, really. I think I've heard that same exact thing at an assembly."

Axel barked out a laugh. "Well, good golly gosh. Try to do something nice," he clicked his tongue a few times. "Shoulda known better. Just can't win with you, can I, Roxas?"

Roxas drew his knees up, hiding his smile between them. "Nope." He said it with laughter in his voice, a twinkle in his eye.

Axel chuckled. He poked the blond with the edge of the stolen street sign a few times. "Here, take it."

"Another souvenir, huh?"

"Oh, well, you know, to remember me by," Axel joked.

Time passed slowly but quickly, the funny way that time liked to do. Roxas lost count of the minutes he spent in that dingy alleyway, clutching that street sign to him and gazing up at that patch of paint and taking it to heart.

---

"So how have you been holding up?" Don asked awkwardly. "Getting cabin fever?"

It seemed like every time they got together it was awkward, a combination of the fact that Donald was nearly always overseeing the construction of his new motel a town away and that they hadn't really spent any decent time together in six years and father and son were strangers to one another.

"Uhh," Roxas mumbled, not really sure how to answer. "No… I've been getting out more."

Don's eyebrows rose with surprise. "Oh, yeah? Out about town? With Yuffie, she said she would do something like that."

"Uhh…" _No, Dad. I've been wandering around the desert and the with a near stranger who is twenty-one and has a car, _wasn't exactly something Roxas could openly say. "Nah. I've just been free styling it…"

His dad nodded. "Best way to know Sedona is to see it for yourself. But be careful, wouldja, Rox? Use your head. Just…don't go out at night or accept rides from strangers, that sort of thing."

Roxas cleared his face of any guilt expertly, agreeable smirk on his face. "Yeah, I know that. Wouldn't think of it."

Don nodded into his cup of coffee, satisfied.

---

"Hey! What's the story, morning glory?" Axel grinned. He was dressed, a very good sign given that it was still before noon. It was always variations of the same theme, Roxas noticed. While he seemed to have a wide variety of one color shirts he flip flopped similar looking khaki or jean shorts all the time. Roxas didn't like Axel's khaki shorts, but kept the knowledge to himself.

"Hey, Axel. Why are you up so early?"

Axel shrugged. "Dunno. Could have something to do with the screaming match that the couple next door is having but that's just a speculation. What about you? Doing your early morning rounds?"

"Nope," Roxas grinned, easily walking over to him, comfortable. "Just finished. What's on the menu today?"

"Weeeeeeel," Axel drew out, clicking his tongue rapidly while he thought. "I dunno. Haven't been to the northern side if town, you wanna go?"

"Aw, no Axel, I made other plans," he said sarcastically. "Duh." He was already looking forward to it, seeing things that Axel hadn't even saw before.

"Cool. You wanna take Luce or walk?"

"It's not that far away, we can walk. 'Sides, we might see something you overlooked."

"Ah, talking' like a 'world traveler'," Axel rolled his green eyes, using the words Roxas once said to him. "And what have you seen on your travels, oh great journeyer?"

"The 7-11 down the street, the fountain, a dank alley, you know, the landmarks," Roxas chuckled. "Where have you been, weary wayfarer?"

"Oh, just about _everywhere_," Axel exclaimed sarcastically.

"No, really. Where have you been?"

"Uh, really. I've been everywhere. Made my way across the U.S. from the east coast to the Midwest to the south to here. Gonna travel up the west eventually," he said absently, balancing on the yellow strip between the sidewalk and the road, arms outstretched and face screwed in concentration as he put one foot directly in front of each other. "Was just in Phoenix."

"Oh, yeah? You like it there?"

"NO. I _hate_ Phoenix," he seethed. "Terrible place. Hate it. Just as much as the four seasons in Chicago. Ugh," he shuddered at the memory. "Gives me nightmares."

Roxas looked at him strangely, eyebrows raised. "What? I don't think I ever heard that story."

"Not surprised, I hate telling it. But since you're beggin' I guess I'll you. It was a semi-cold September night. And I was tired and just wanted to go to bed, it was like one in the morning, I was driving all night. I get a room and I fall asleep, you know, happy. And I wake up and I have these little bites all over me!"

"What!"

"Yeah! The place had bed bugs and they _ate me _while I slept. It was so gross," Axel shuddered. "So freaky. They shoved some money at me when I complained," he added curiously. "So I guess it wasn't all too bad. I had to get new clothes. I was afraid that the bugs were in them and would eat me when I wore them."

"Well, that's, that was a great story," Roxas told him. "And how is our service compared to theirs?"

"No bed bugs," Axel announced seriously. "And they have this kid who tags along when I go out, so that's cool."

Roxas snorted, a wry smile on his face.

---

"So what, do you call your friends?"

"No…."

Axel turned to look at him, confusion evident in his brow. "But I thought you said you missed them.

"Well, sometimes, yeah. But I don't have my phone so I can't."

Axel blew out a short harsh breath, thin red eyebrow raised. Roxas idly wondered if he plucked them. "You use the pay phone all the time!"

"But I don't know their numbers," Roxas pointed out. "If I knew I would call but I don't so I don't."

"Huh."

"Yeah. My mom figured it would be good for me to be without my phone, I guess she's right…" he sighed wistfully. "I'm not going crazy without it like I thought I would. Strange, huh? How you think you're entire life is contained in a little piece of machinery?"

"Yeah, I never got that. If I wanted to see my friends I would sneak in their window," he said proudly. "Then again I used the front door often too. Parents like you more when you use the door," he said wisely.

"Tell me about it. Though my parents had a bit more trouble with me sneaking out than in."

"Yeah, well. It seems you also had a bit of trouble sneaking back in too," he snidely said, teasing but not being mean about it in that Axel-way of his.

"Well, what do you expect? It's harder to get back in than out. You sayin' you perfected the art of sneaking?'

"Didn't need to," Axel shrugged, "Was never an issue for me."

Roxas opened his mouth, ready to question the redhead further about this, prepared to dig the little opening Axel opened to him but before he could even mumble a word Axel pointed to the old fashioned theatre ahead of them, finally revealing the surprise Axel promised him.

Oh well, Roxas thought as their tickets were ripped and they were pointed to their theatre. He could always ask the man later. When they weren't so busy.

---

Axel was right… The stars above them really did seem endless…and they really did shine brightly in the dark, near black sky. Proof they were surrounded, Axel said, by what no one knew, but they were surrounded by _something_ nonetheless. Roxas was only off work from the time he finished cleaning onward which didn't give much for Axel to work with given the fact that someone apparently trashed a room last night but he made do.

They watched the sunset again, something that Axel liked much better than running around time most the time but instead of starting Lucy up and taking the teen back 'home' Axel merely stayed put, Roxas copying him. Only once, when Roxas was suddenly nervous over the fact that it was getting _dark_, Axel was _twenty-one_, and they were in the_ middle of the desert_, did the blond speak up.

"Um, hey Axel?"

"Hmmm?"

"What are we doing?"

"Guess," the redhead demanded, calm, peaceful tattooed face staring outward at the disappearing sliver of sun, not looking at Roxas who was looking at him.

"Uhh," Roxas started eloquently. "Sitting in the dark?"

"Bzzt. Wrong."

"…Are we… stargazing?" Roxas ventured, the thought hitting him like a semi.

"Bingo. I told ya we would, didn't I?"

Roxas hummed, laying back quietly and watching how the navy of the lingering sunset turned into pitch black dark, marking the near end of one day and the near beginning of another. Tomorrow Roxas had the night shift, meaning he would spend most of the day sleeping and rest answering phones and being entertained by Axel until the sleepy traveler sauntered off to bed. The quiet of the night allowed previously overlooked thoughts to emerge.

Tomorrow, the next day, the next week and the week after that Roxas would be in the same place, doing the same thing. But what about Axel? Roxas used to look at his get up and go tendencies with awe, fascination. Lately though, the thought that Roxas might wake up and Axel be long gone, a trail of desert dust in his wake, was oddly real and frightening.

He'd only known the man two weeks and yet he'd become the blonde's constant companion. Every day he was with Axel and every day he was making a memory with the man, he had a pile of souvenirs sitting in his room, one for each day. But did Axel see it that way? He promised to show Roxas the town, but what happened when the town was seen?

Would Axel just take off? Forget the little town and go up the west side like he'd wanted to, forgetting Roxas too?

"Axel." Roxas's voice felt raw, frog on his throat, tongue caught by the cat.

Axel grunted in response, blinking the sleep away from him and yawning. "What?"

Roxas was silent for a moment, expression safely blurred by the darkness. "…What happens when you run out of things to show me?"

Axel furrowed his brow, sleepy, grumpy brain fogged up. "What?"

"You know, will you…go away?"

"What are you talking about, Roxas? Stop and rewind, please."

Roxas groaned in frustration, wanted to pull his hair out but settled for pouting and muttering into the darkness, "Never mind."

"No, no, no, no, Roxas. I'm listening."

Roxas sighed, feeling awkward and bitter, worried but extremely curious. He felt like the kid he was. "How long do you stay in one place before you pack up and leave?" He muttered, turning his back to the other man and drawing up his legs, a small comfort.

"A week mostly," Axel said conversationally. "And sometimes that's pushing it. I get sick of places easy or the travel bug comes and bites me."

His words poked and prodded at Roxas in the most irritating way, one that made him suddenly sad and miserable. Covering up the only way he knew how Roxas spat out, "So then why don't you leave already? Nothing's stopping you. I wouldn't care."

"Ouch, Roxas." Axel sucked in a breath through his teeth, rubbing the skin over his heart even though no one but him could see it. "You words wound. What's up with you? You okay?" Now, he turned away from the ever present stars to look at the teen, sighing when he saw the fetal position the boy was in. "Aww, what? You pissed? I didn't even do anything!" Roxas huffed but didn't say anything, preferring to glare into the dark instead. "Rooooxaaasss," Axel groaned. "You need a hug? I think you need a hug."

"I do not need a hug," Roxas spat. He wasn't a child; a hug wouldn't just magically fix things.

"Yeah, you need a hug," Axel concurred, already sliding over to where Roxas laid. The blond resisted, even though it was a feeble effort, but Axel soon had him caught in a tight hug from behind, laying what Roxas came to know was a very bony chin on top of blond spikes. "Now, see?" Axel pleasantly said. "Isn't this nice?" Roxas snorted, fighting off a blush that would give Axel's horrendously bright red hair a run for its money.

Internally Roxas was warring with himself, fighting off physical and mental reactions was Doubt himself, braiding a sword of criticism and malice to words like 'Maybe' and 'What if' and totally attacking phrases like 'He smells good' or 'This _is_ nice". Because Roxas was gay. Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, no matter what way you looked at it. And Axel? Who knew? With every 'maybe' Roxas found there were two 'definitely nots' that force him to push away the concept.

Because how perfect would it be if the really smart, really funny and friendly, really cute guy who wanted to spend time with him every single day unwaveringly without ulterior motives would be gay? And possibly like him?

Too perfect, Doubt declared. Impossible. Unfeasible, impracticable, out of the question, impractical, hopeless, ridiculous, ludicrous, preposterous, absurd, silly, unreasonable, nonsensical. It couldn't happen. It didn't work out that way, only in movies and TV shows and in books. Never in real life, Roxas thought. Never to people like him. Life wasn't some fairy tale and Roxas wasn't some hidden away princess eagerly awaiting his knight in shining armor.

"You know," Axel started, voice pulling Roxas out of his thoughts and back to reality. "I said _mostly_."

Roxas scrunched up his nose and furrowed his brow, bamboozled. "What?"

"When you asked me how long I stayed in places. I said 'mostly'. Usually I stay in places for a week or so. Nothing' really keeps me in one place, I get bored too easily. Even if a place is perfect I always find something that makes me want to leave, to find somewhere else to go. I dunno…" Axel sighed.

"So then why are you here?" Roxas grumbled, repeating the words he asked Axel by the pool more than a week ago.

"I never had anything to do in those places, Rox," Axel said. The use of the nickname made Roxas heart leap into his throat. "You're the first person that I've ever done this with… the touring thing, the talking thing. It's just different now. I don't _know_ how long I'll be here. I don't _know_ if I'll be gone by next Tuesday, I don't even know if I'll be here tomorrow but you're not gonna wake up one day and find me missing. Or find something cheesy like a note saying goodbye; it was a pleasure to know you. I'm here 'cause I'm here," Axel concluded. "So don't throw a fit."

Roxas snorted, rolling his eyes. "I was not."

"_Are_."

"Tch. Whatever. Get off me, you weirdo," he muttered, poking Axel in the side with his elbows and squirming to get away from the suddenly too close redhead. Axel tugged him closer, laughing too close to Roxas's ear. "Aw, what? You don't want to cuddle?"

Axel was joking, Axel was joking, Axel was joking, Roxas repeated in his head but couldn't help the grin on his face or the way his heart kept pounding incessantly at the close contact or even the heat he felt rising to his face.

No way, no way, no way, Doubt persisted. Impossible. It was impossible.

Maybe Axel _was_ joking and they were probably just friends at the very best but Axel might be gone before he knew it…So why couldn't Roxas have a little fun where he could? Why couldn't he think 'Maybe'?

So Roxas laughed and said something crude back and after several rounds of playful bantering he alerted Axel to the time. The ride back was filled with the sound of the radio playing a CD Axel liked but Roxas was too distracted to listen to the lyrics. His body still tingled from their contact.

----

"You look a lot happier," Yuffie noticed, suspicion layering her words slightly.

Roxas looked up from where he was scrubbing out a mysterious stain, puzzled. "What are you talking about, Yuff?"

"I dunno," she said cautiously, regarding him like he was a puzzled just one piece away form being solved. "You've just been…lighter. Like you're not as angst-y as you used to be. It's like the difference between night and day," Yuffie added, awed.

"What? I think the fumes have been getting to your head," Roxas snidely told her, even though he knew full well of what she was talking about. _He_ could feel it. It was a… float-y kind of feeling. Like you're just a few inches above the ground, floating above everything else. He was _smiling_ as he scrubbed the floor clean of all abnormalities, which was usually unheard of, no matter how perky Yuffie was in the morning.

And he knew what it was from too. It was from Axel accidentally brushing his hand against Roxas's yesterday, it was from the wide grin he gave the blond after Roxas said something particularly witty. It was from the way the redhead's shirts clung to him when it got spectacularly hot one day, or when Axel opened doors for him, or when they bumped into each other walking down the sidewalk because Roxas couldn't ever walk a straight line. It was from watching the sunset, from watching the moon rise, from feeling Axel breath on his neck when the redhead examined knickknacks over Roxas's shoulder. It was from feeling the blood rush to his face and ears, making him suddenly too hot and nerves get all tangled.

That butterfly feeling…Roxas had it all the time.

"Yeah," Yuffie consented, glaring the bottle of bleach in her hand. "Maybe… But I still think you lost that constant 'I'm miserable all the time' look you had going on. And please, Rox. Don't go find it. You're way friendlier when you're not trying to be the king of gloom."

Roxas scoffed, digging his sponge back into the carpet. He knew what the feeling was from. In a few days it would be the Fourth of July and Axel said he had another surprise for him.

---

"Where are you from?" Roxas asked Axel curiously, watching the upside-down man intently. The blood was flowing to his brain; making him dizzy, but just sitting on his bed was so boring. There was a heat wave roaming the city, marking the peak of summer heat. The entire town was like it was in slow motion, no one liked to do much on these super hot days.

"Boston," Axel said simply, too distracted by going through Roxas's CD case to really pay attention. When he flipped the next page of disks he gasped. "You have Death Cab For Cutie? I love this band!"

"You do?"

"Well, no," Axel admitted. "I only know one song but I liked it a lot. Uh, I think it's called…Following? Something like that. It was about killing yourself to be with--"

"I will follow you into the dark," Roxas nodded. "It's a really great song. A few years ago I think some big magazine or something called the lyrics the most beautiful lines created in a few years. That it was like poetry."

"That's what I said!" Axel exclaimed, gingerly taking out the disk from its protective pocket and examining it. "Nice design."

"How many places have you been too?" Roxas tried again. Sure it might be impolite to ask but Axel hadn't said much about himself and, hell, Roxas was curious. And he had the right to be too, he told himself.

"Oh, God. Too many to count. I haven't been keeping track. Maybe a dozen or so big cities and twice as many little cities," Axel frowned as he flipped the CD over, discovering several scratches. "You should better care of these, you know."

"I know," he replied, sitting up and turning over onto his stomach. "Where have you been?"

"Uhhh, let's see. Uh, Phoenix…Dallas, Houston, Chicago, New York, New Orleans. You know big cities, with a bunch of tourist attractions and such. Usually they're really cool but sometimes it's like I can't wait to get out of there. Too much smog and hustle and bustle for me."

"But you're from a big city," Roxas pointed out. "Shouldn't it be like being at home?"

Axel paused in removing a disk, frown deepening. "Uh, no. I'm from the 'burbs, really. Boston's great, like really great. Feels like a small town though, most the time. At least where I hung out. I don't really like huge, metal cities."

"Then why do you keep going to them?"

Axel scrunched up his nose and furrowed his brow. His jaw tightened. "I dunno. Just end up there."

His tone of voice was so final; Roxas knew that that particular branch of conversation was over…at least for today. Axel's inability to talk about his travels seemed silly to Roxas and he was almost pissed that Axel got pissed about it. _Roxas_ told him anything he wanted to know, why couldn't Axel do the same? But, he rationalized, Roxas _wanted_ to talk about it…maybe Axel didn't like talking about it…for whatever perfectly sound reason he had up in that head of his.

"Who is Jupiter?" Axel asked. "You have two copies of every CD of theirs," he raised a delicate eyebrow. "Care to elaborate?"

Roxas jumped up and over to the redhead, filling him in on the amazing-ness of Jupiter and their awesome albums that made Roxas… Roxas.

---

"When did your parents divorce?"

Roxas looked up and saw Axel scrutinizing a small picture from of himself and his mother, smiling dutifully into the camera. "Uhhh. About ten years ago, or so."

"And your mom just moved you away?" The redhead was going off little pieces of what he knew about Roxas's life, piecing together his life bit by bit. Roxas nodded, as uninterested as Axel was interested since it was all old news to him and went back to tying his shoes. "Must've been hard," Axel whistled. "Moving to an all new place suddenly like that."

"Yeah, well. At least I kind of know how you feel when you go from place to place." Roxas frowned. "Although I don't really remember it at all, just small isolated pieces. How about you? Are yours?"

"My what?"

"Your parents," Roxas explained. "Are they divorced?"

Axel clicked his tongue a few times; gaze still locked on the photograph. "Uh, no. No they're not. Last I knew anyway…"

The blond stopped in the middle of his shoe-tying. _Don't you call? _was right on his lips but somehow Roxas knew the answer already. He never, not once, saw Axel on the phone, or talked about talking to friends or relatives that day. But Axel was a grown man, able to take care of himself quite well. He supposed Axel didn't need to check in every other day, he was too busy living life to the fullest, seeing as many of the dots on the country's map as possible, one by one.

---

"_Beneath the glow of this hanging moon lies a city still and cold. Our silhouettes walk hand in hand. The drunken jukebox serenade," _a deep voice sung, bitterness evident in his voice. _"We pretend we're so innocent," _he sneered. _"'Cause no one ever likes to hurt. Go take off that silver dress. And expose your naked heart." _Roxas tapped his fingers to the fast beat, head bobbing along to a new song that he already knew he liked.

"_I'm not capable of love, that kind of love, that I felt when I was twenty one. 'Cause I'm not capable of love, that kind of love that I felt when I was twenty one. T-T-T- Take it back!" _Roxas raised his eyebrows at the lyrics. Poor guy, he thought. To think that you couldn't be in love or have the same feeling you once had…That sucked.

"_So happy birthday darling," _he sneered. _"Watch those candles melt away. Not unlike those chandeliers, at the bar where we both etched our names! Who would have thought we'd fall so hard?"_ The singer mused. _"Who would have thought we'd fall so fast? Optimistic children; clinging tight to all we n-n-n-never had." _The dramatic song repeated its chorus, during which Roxas poised a seemingly innocent question.

"Have you ever been in love?"

Axel glanced at him, those unnatural green eyes boring into the side of his head. Roxas was pretending to be busy looking at the locals walking up and down the sidewalk, so he didn't see Axel's intense look. Slowly, Axel looked back toward the road, just in time to catch the red light turn to green. "Uh, yeah, actually," he finally stated. "It's not a foreign feeling to me. How about you? I bet you fall head over heels every time someone cute gives you a second look."

Roxas chuckled. "Nah. I'm not like that. Not head over heels, anyway. I've never actually had a steady relationship with anyone," he realized, blinking. "Huh."

"That's normal," the tattooed man said. "For your age. You don't know anything about love yet. You'll learn."

"Crash and burn a few times sure," Roxas said sarcastically, mocking Axel with a grin. "But you'll learn."

Axel laughed, green eyes lingering on Roxas's cheery face. "Yup. You'll learn."

---

_Breeep, breeep, breeep, breeep_, screamed Roxas's alarm clock, alarming him of the time and the fact that he needed to get up NOW. He groaned, turning over and feeling for the machine with his eyes closed, unwilling to give in just yet. He hit the sleep button hard, quieting the annoying sirens before flipping the switch from ON to OFF. Sleepy, but awake he flipped back onto his back, staring at the ceiling with dull interest and becoming acutely aware of what day it was.

The Fourth of July. Independence Day. With anticipation growing in his chest, Roxas grinned as he pulled off his sheets and swung his legs off the bed. Yesterday he bugged Axel constantly over what his 'surprise' could be but the tall redhead wouldn't even give him a hint. The mystery made him excited and yet nervous. Hopefully, he wasn't getting his hopes up only to have them dashed when the surprise wasn't what he hoped it to be.

What Roxas hoped it was, he…didn't quite know yet but he wanted it to blow him away. Feeling the butterflies start acting up again, Roxas took in a deep breath, chiding himself. Whatever surprise Axel had in store for him, he would love it. After all, it's the thought that counts, Roxas thought, though _he_ even didn't feel the sincerity behind it.

A fast paced knock sounded from the door, Axel calling to him a second later. "Wakey, wakey, Rox! Time to go!" Bubbling excitement filled Roxas, quickly hopping into his khaki cargo shorts and shoving some shoes on his feet, pulling on a white shirt as he opened the door and greeted the grinning man.

"Hey there. Get enough beauty sleep?" Axel teased, eyeing Roxas's uncombed hair and indents from the sheets on his arm. Roxas sent a little glare his way, nullified by the large smile on his lips. The blond followed a step behind Axel, letting the taller man guide him wherever. As Axel sauntered over to his car, Roxas smiled a sly smile.

So the 'surprise' wasn't within walking distance….. Hmmmm.

With accustomed ease Roxas settled himself in the passenger seat; bring his feet up to the dashboard and lowering his seat back. Axel sent a withering look to the offending feet on his beautiful car but said nothing, instead starting her up and rejoicing in the way she purred. Almost as soon as they hot the road, Roxas's hand was at the dials of the radio, sparing each station barely a second before moving on to the next one. Again Axel said nothing, amused at how intent Roxas looked while trying to find a good station. By the look on his face you would think the safety of the entire universe counted on him finding some good tunes.

"_--You're in a place for fear. Lips are for biting here." _Roxas made a pleased hum and settled back into his seat, tapping along to the fast beat and singing along. "Let's make this moment worth the while, let's kill the night and go down in style," advised the singer and Roxas. "Feel the magic rise. We're plotting our demise of perspiration and alcohol as I introduce the bedroom brawl." The blond in the passenger seat let out a noise of despair as a short guitar solo replaced the lyrics before the song cut off completely.

Roxas was already switching the channel before the radio host could get a word in edgewise, eliciting a soft chuckle from the driver which quickly went cold as the redhead heard the words of the song Roxas tuned in during the middle of.

"_How many times have you looked at a map, _

_Wishing you could come back? _

_Just come back. _

_Where did you go? _

_Where have you been? _

_New York, Annapo--"_

Even before Axel knew what he was doing, his hand darted out and quickly pressed the dial, switching the fast beat and edgy voice to a slow guitar and an even slower country drawl. On edge, Axel tapped his fingers rapidly against the wheel, left leg bouncing up and down, adrenaline rushing through him. Mentally he cursed and blessed Roxas for being an innocent bystander in his panic. His presence calmed the redhead, pulling him back into reality instead of thrusting him back into his own little world, where the only thing that mattered was how fast he was going and where.

"Sooo," Roxas started hesitantly, eyeing the redhead with a wary look. "I guess you don't like that song? I mean, I don't really mind, it's your car, but… I dunno. Can I change it?" Axel scoffed, as if Roxas had ever asked for permission before and sent him a dazzling smile and a shrug. "Yeah, yeah. Go ahead. It's all yours," Axel told him, focusing in his important task of driving, on the little road trip he and Roxas were taking, on the surprise he had all planned out for today. A little song wasn't going to stop him, now was it?

---

Flagstaff.

Just about thirty miles away from Sedona and about forty-five to an hour long drive away, Flagstaff boasted parades, art, renaissance of the old cultures, shows, concerts, sword playing, fire breathers, flamenco dancers and late at night fire works to commemorate Independence day. To Axel it seemed like the place to go, the best kind of surprise to shower Roxas with. A little side trip, to really make Roxas figure out there is a world outside his beloved Twilight Town and what a world it is. Upon leaving Sedona, Roxas had a perpetual slack jawed expression on his face, amazing at how easily he left the town he was held 'prisoner' in.

Upon entering Flagstaff, the expression intensified, wonder and amazement coating it. "C'mon Roxas," Axel chastised. "Better close your mouth before the flies get in." But Roxas paid him no heed, to busy in trying to take in everything at the same time to notice the obviously pleased look on the redhead's face and only barely responded when he was pulled by the arm toward the crowd lining the road. "C'mon! The parade's about to start."

There must have been hundreds of people, Axel noted, all of them set up on the side of the road, getting opportune seats for the parade that went through town. Axel pushed and slide past people, dragging Roxas behind him who received most the glares from the people who'd been there for the past hour.

Finally they burst through the crowd, Axel smiling charmingly at the middle-aged women beside them, their scornful looks becoming rosy-cheeked and flattered. They sat on the road, butts going numb after an hour and a half, staring awed at the more elaborate floats and criticizing the simple ones. Every time candy was thrown in their direction Axel scrambled for it, passing the better ones to the blond before unwrapping one for himself and chewing on it thoughtfully.

They laughed as Uncle Sam's came out, dressed in red, white, and blue suits and shouted encouragements to the acrobats that did back flips and front flips. Just as the trail of floats was coming to a foreseeable end Axel pulled the blond up and pushing through the crowd again. Axel's already bright green eyes glowed with excitement. "This way," he said, taking Roxas by the arm and eagerly guiding him somewhere new. They took several turns, here and there, seemingly at random but eventually they ran into what Axel was looking for.

They were greeted by soldiers dressed in the uniforms of the civil war and joked with cowboys wearing spurs and chaps. Every type of way of life that had passed through the state was there and spoke in the lingo and copied mannerisms, with their own little flair. One of the cowgirls lassoed Roxas, prompting an Indian to save him and making Axel save the blond from said Indian.

After nearly dying from laughter Axel ushered him to yet another part of town, a green park with a numerous stands set up, displaying paintings, photographs, handmade jewelry, and pottery. Every where Roxas turned there was something else to see, Axel pulling him eagerly towards it. In the end they bought nothing but contemplating stealing a whole bucket of glass beads and getting their picture taken by a kid with the camera upside down. A wide grin stayed on Roxas's face the entire time, clearly enjoying himself but yet again Axel, the traveler extraordinaire, pulled him away and toward another part of town. Without the aid of Lucy, Roxas's feet were starting to ache from all the cross city walking his was doing but it seems he didn't even have to tell Axel as they came to benches moments after he considered complaining.

Spanish dancers filed out, accompanied by guitar, those click-y shells and some sort of drum. The girls dressed in colorful dresses stylishly danced about, displaying emotion in the simplest of gestured, passion in their footsteps. Roxas watched with amusement as they did their thing, pointing out to Axel whenever one looked like they messed up or when someone else in the crowd was doing something funny. The both of them spent more time giggling about the crowd members than actually paying attention to the dance, Roxas constantly whispering observations into Axel's ear. The dance ended in a flourish, all fast beats and swift feet. The dancers took a proud bow and grinned at the cheers they got from the crowd but Axel and Roxas were gone, the blond following Axel like a puppy, eagerly awaiting what was next, pleased even when it turned out to be a dinner that consisted of a foot long sub.

But even then Axel could not stay still, taking their meal to go and trekking back to the car, warning Roxas not to pry too much and that it was another part of the surprise. Excited, Roxas did as he was told, staying quiet and twiddling his thumbs in the front seat, glancing at the redhead with a large smile on his lips.

Finally, just as Roxas was about to burst at the seems with curiosity Axel turned off the car, a smug look on his tattooed face. "We're here," he happily announced. Roxas looked around idly, frowning.

"Where's here?" He asked, because really, where were they?

"C'mon, you'll see." The tall man hopped out of the car and gesturing Roxas to do the same. The redhead wandered a few feet ahead, the steel railing for the edge of the hill feeling cool under his hands. Below them was the town, neatly laid out in a grid. They could see for miles outward, the elevated hill Axel found providing them with a perfect view of the town.

"I love it?" Roxas laughed, unsure if this was it, this was the big finale to Axel's surprise? After the lively and colorful day in down Axel ends with a good view? Axel rolled his eyes, grinning like a fool. "You should. This here, my dear Roxas, is the best place in town to watch….what? I'll give you a hint. Starts with an 'f' and goes boom."

"Fireworks!" Roxas cheered. "I used to love fireworks. When do they start?"

"Twelve. Anytime now, just give it a few minutes," Axel smiled, seating himself on the cool ground. Roxas copied him, sitting close and smelling Axel's scent, a combination of the day's sweat and some sort of musky smell, completely masculine and completely Axel. A soft smile planted itself firmly on him, terribly pleased by the entire day, form beginning to end. But he couldn't help but wonder how Axel knew where to go, and what was going on in the town and at what time.

Axel smirked as Roxas said these questions. "Ah. That…." he clicked his tongue, staring at the blond with twinkling green eyes. "Little birdie told me. Sung me a song of fun and fireworks and I just had to come. So of course I would bring along my favorite little maid."

"Shut it," advised Roxas, smacking his companion playfully on the shoulder. "It would be in your best interest if you never mentioned that again."

Axel laughed, drawing his knees up and looking at Roxas with smiling eyes. "So did you like it? Your surprise?"

"I loved it," Roxas enthused. "It was great! The sword fighters were my favorite. Augh, it was so cool! It was great, Axel. I had so much fun. Now I know why you travel so much."

Axel quirked an eyebrow, smile faltering for a second. "Oh, yeah? And why's that?"

"It's like," Roxas sighed, trying to come up with the right words. "It's like a cultural experience. Seeing new things, meeting new people and watching different ways of living, it…broadens your horizons. In a good way," Roxas mused, eyes growing distant. "I've been trying to do the same, but in a bad way. I don't think I've learned anything useful form my own journeys."

Interest peaked; the redhead scooted over to hear the bonds mutterings. Roxas sighed irately, throwing himself down on the ground. "I don't know… I mean, I've been thinking a lot. I kind of just want to grow up, ya know? I'm tired of acting like a little shit and doing stuff that only throws me two steps back. In the beginning I just wanted to have fun, live a little but God," eyes the color of clear blue eyes caught green and Axel felt his breath hitch momentarily at the intensity behind them.

"_You_ are the only person I know, who is truly living. I mean look at you! You're going out into the world and really seeing first hand what's out there, leaving when it's something you don't like. You're like a… a… nomad," Roxas laughed. "No permanent home and no want of one. You're taking each day as it comes and not worrying about the future. That's really living to me."

A series of emotions ran through Axel, each one wreaking its havoc before letting the next do its own damage. A nomad, huh? He chewed on Roxas words, the blond looking up at him expectantly with those big blue eyes of his. He supposed he could take that. It was sure as hell better than the other things Axel called himself. He lay next to Roxas, arms touching and instead of self-consciously pulling away Axel left it there, feeling the warmth leaking from the teen. "Yeah," he whispered. "I suppose…"

Confused, Roxas opened his mouth to pursue the topic, but an explosion in the sky stole his attention away. While Roxas sat up immediately, awed expression on his face as the colorful explosions were set off, the redhead laid back, enjoying the view. Blue light illuminated the area; Axel saw Roxas's skin tone change from the sun-tinged pink to crystal blue at matched his eyes, followed by an angry red before a pink firework went off making Roxas look like he was blushing from the neck up.

"Hey, Axel," Roxas called, distracted as three screamers went off and lit up the dark black sky. "I'm really glad I met you."

Axel took a mental picture as the golden light of a huge sphere in the sky exploded and illuminated Roxas, making him shine before he sat up. Nervously licking his lips and acting solely on the split second decision he just made Axel placed his hand on the ground behind the teen, shoulders knocking together. Completely immersed in the bright fireworks it took a few rounds before Roxas noticed how close Axel brought himself to him or how his green eyes seemed to be deeper and darker than normal, so many things fighting for dominance in his eyes. The proximately made Roxas's mind go blank, capable of only minutely turning to the man next to him and blinking wide eyes.

And Axel leaned forward, intent becoming clear, the bright lights of the fireworks shining down on them and the loud booms deafening all else as they busted in the air. His breath tickled Roxas's lips as he lingered just centimeters away, half lidded green eyes locked with shell shocked blue, questioning, wondering and soft emotions behind them. Heart pumping so loud with Axel being closer than ever, Roxas thought the town below could hear it working overtime, even as several screamers exploded. With his brain so numb and frazzled and bewildered at these turns of events, it was like he was only capable of flickering from Axel's boring, mind reading, soul searching, gaze to his lips which were so eyed, he looked back to the redhead, his own questions and his own wonderings and one word in his eyes; yes.

Axel closed in the space between them and in pressing their lips together softly more firmly, gave Roxas his midnight kiss.

* * *

ahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahhah! Yes. Just....Yes. I am so happy. I've been waiting so long to write this part. It's been in my head since chapter four and I'm really happy right now. I know I keep saying this but honestly, truthfully, for real this time, we are in the middle, half over. :D I am so stoked that SB has made it this far and that it has become what it had become. Without you readers and reviewers it would be half the story it is now and I mean that, really. I'm looking forward to churning out about seven more chapters before concluding this. I'm so proud.

With that said, if you have anything to say,[EDIT: If you favorite this story, story alert it, AND author alert me] drop me a line. [seriously, i mean c'mon. nothing irks me more than someone who favorites everything I have out but can't say so. It's inconsiderate.] I really enjoy reading what everyone has to say and some of the stuff you guys say blows my mind away. Have a great week, stay out of trouble and I dunno, tell someone you're you met them. :]

Oh and look up The Empires, the lead singer is super nice and we smiled at eachother during their concert on the 25th and Felix Culpa, Tristan(singer) is super cool and makes his own t-shirt desgins. Both of those bands are chicago natives. And The Dear Hunter, they are one of my favorites and are currantly headlining their own tour. If they come near you, go see 'em. you will be blown away.


	9. Act Two, Scene Four Take The Lead

Happy reading!!!! Sorry for the delay! but well, ENJOY!

* * *

Summer Boy

The sun was shining when Sora woke up, groggy and lethargic and slow moving as usual. However, it wasn't for the usual reasons, that is, say, a hangover, or perhaps a pill or two still in the process of being broken down. It wasn't a pounding headache that made him want to stay under his covers forever, no… It was simply because it was seven AM and, for a teenager, waking at that time, of your own free will even, was _ridiculous. _

And yet, there he was; obediently rising to shut off his alarm clock, pulling on some gym shorts and lacing up his sneakers. As if on cue, just as he was tying his left foot into a strong knot, a knock came to door and a tired smile popped up on Sora's face. "Hey sleepyhead," Riku greeted, decked out in long running shorts and simple white Nike shoes. Sora grunted, making sure he had his keys before slamming the door behind him.

"So how long are we gonna do this thing?" The brunette asked, squinting up at his boyfriend. He was excited to do this and yet dreading it at the same time.

"Ah, well, I'd figured we would do a few miles before takin' a break," the graduate breezily said and chuckled when Sora blanched, looking at him like he was insane. "It's not that hard, So. You just gotta…_do it. _It gets easier the more you go at it," he added.

"Riku I can't run _a _mile, let alone 'a few'," Sora mocked, bunny fingers wiggling around his last words. "I know you're mister macho with all your abs in all but keep in mind I'm all flab." He patted his stomach to emphasize his point.

"Some good lookin' flab though," Riku grinned, wrapping an arm around Sora's waist and pulling him in, kissing his temple.

Ten minutes in and Sora was already complaining, gasping and begging for a break. "Uuuuugh," he groaned, lying back on the thick green grass he threw himself on, arm draped over his eyes. "Why are we doing this, again? Did I really agree to this?"

"You suggested it," the older boy reminded, sitting next to him and pulling up grass. He dumped the pile on Sora's head. "After Kairi left. Remember?"

Sora grunted. "Yeah… Heard her party got busted by the cops." Beside him, Riku hissed, shaking his head with wide eyes. Sora shared his mindset. They could've been at that party, they could've been arrested. Had Sora not decided yesterday that he didn't want to go to Kairi's Fourth of July house party, they would have been.

"I'm sick of getting wasted," he announced just as Kairi left them, leaving the two boys with a time and words of hard drugs. Riku blinked at him, startled and confused. "I'm sick of waking up in the morning with a hangover and throwing up. I sick of being expected to know where to score the best drugs or where parties will be. I'm sick of the way people look at me. I'm sick of my 'friends'. I'm so done with scene, Riku. We need to stop."

He turned to look at his boyfriend, determination in his features. "Our teachers are right, our parents, all those speakers they pay to go into our school. They're all right. We're fucking ourselves up and I'm tired of being a fuck-up."

"You're not a fuck-up," Riku whispered, brow furrowing

He glared. "Yeah, I am. I failed PE, Riku. I barely passed all my other classes. And you know why? 'Cause I was always still fucked up from the night before. I need to stop and get my head together; I need to finally get my head together. Riku, please tell me you'll stop too. I don't think I can do it alone and I don't want to lose you like I've lost Rox. I need you, Riku," he softly begged, looking into blue-green eyes, placing his hand on Riku's arm.

Too much, Riku absently thought. Too much just happened in a short amount of time. Desert the nightlife he'd known since freshman year? Because his boyfriend suddenly thought that they should? What about all his other friends, who still flocked to those keg parties? What if he didn't want to? What about what he wanted and what he thought? What about that? But the darkest blue eyes he'd ever seen stared at him, strong and firm. "Of course Sora. Of course. I promise."

The brunette sighed a held breathe. "We need to get healthy. No more drugs. No more booze. No more cigarettes," he teased playfully. "I can't remember what it's like to be clean. Isn't that sad? I want to be healthy again."

"And what would you recommend?" Riku asked. "Drink ten cups of water everyday? Eat your veggies?"

Sora narrowed his eyes. "Yes. And, and, I dunno. Start running. Everyday. Just something to get us normal again."

The brunette presently sighed. "I am so glad we didn't go last night. I am so glad we're doing this."

The sliver haired boy slapped his knees, pushing on them and standing up. He grinned, grabbing hold of Sora's lanky arms and pulling him up. "Well if you're so glad, why don't we keep going then, huh Mister Fitness? Let's go down to That Smoothie Place."

Sora beamed, excite giving him a little pep in his step. "A papou smoothie?!"

Riku laughed, all squinting eyes and quirky smiles under the summer sun and he thought to him self; _no, it isn't bad at all. _

---

"_I'm at my best when I'm at my worst," _a singer confessed through the radio, Axel tapping along to the slow beat. _"I'm at worst when it's not rehearsed; I don't wanna know the goddamn words." _Now Axel grinned, liking the words so far. But the grin was stretched thin, half hearted, forced. He blew out a hard, frustrated breath. _"I don't wanna have to spell it out. Don't wanna mumble what I'm trying to say. I want to scream it from my foaming mouth! Shoot out the lights and ride awaaaay."_

Maybe he was in over his head, Axel thought, chewing on his lip with worried furrowed brows. Maybe he fucked up, did something wrong. But it wasn't like he planned it out, no, he was more than happy at the beginning of his Sedona Epic (as he was now calling it) to pack up and leave as soon as he felt the pull to do so. When he parked in the lot of the Flying Lion he was sure that he would be leaving its premise in under a week, a trail of dust the only proof he was there in the first place.

Axel never planned this, never once thought it would lead to this, never even brushed on the subject. He didn't plan on staying for as long as he had, longer than any of his other visitations. He didn't think that the angry kid would get to him this much, would worm his way under the redhead's skin. He didn't think about it…. It just happened. It just happened and he couldn't help himself and now he was torn between sticking around like half of him wanted to and skipping town like the other half wanted.

"_I'm at my worst when I'm at my best," _the singer still crooned as Axel still tapped along on his steering wheel. _"I'm at my best when I'm trying to look and think and talk and sing and read and write like all the rest." _Axel frowned, knowing the feeling he was talking about. Being at your best when you're at your worst, your worst when you're at your best. It all depended on your viewpoint. _"We're all just trying to play our roles in a play that runs ad nauseam. I hate this damn enlightenment, we were better off as animaaaals, right?!"_

Axel grimly agreed. He would be better off without the self-doubt, the worries, the regret, the anger, the sadness, the desperation and the flutter in his stomach. Complex thought just allowed complex problems to arise. Just like now, where he was staring at a red stoplight, wondering if he should just leave and forget his problems again.

Roxas.

_Oh, Roxas, Roxas, Roxas, _he thought. _I'm cross between wanting to push you away and pull you closer. _The little blond kid, who looked like he was one step from throwing a tantrum like nobody's business all the time, had little grubby hands that were constantly messing with his radio, constantly going through his Cds, constantly reaching for something, and more recently, constantly reaching out for him. Well not, constantly he reprimanded himself, just that one time, but still.

But still it was, _Roxas had done it. _

Axel nearly jumped out of his skin when suddenly, WHAM!, Roxas crossed the space in-between them in recorded time, hands on his skin a spilt second later. Teenage eagerness pushed Roxas forward, trying to crush their lips together in what would surely be a bruising kiss had Axel not shot into action a second before, pulling on his door handle and falling backward onto the hard ground.

In the most awkward position, torso and head on the sandy ground, his skinny legs leading up to the seat where he once resided, Roxas staring down at him with wide uncomprehending eyes, Axel slowly said, "I think we're moving too fast," and watched as the blond boy flushed pink. He fumbled around for a moment, stuttering around words until his ears got so red it looked like it hurt. "I-uh...I-I just, I just… um… I… uhmm…."

And then he went real quiet, and was it just the hit from the ground messing him up or was Roxas's lip quivering?, before he quietly slid back to the passenger seat, arms wrapped around himself and staring out at the deserted desert darkly.

"Aw, Roxas," Axel protested, grunted as he lifted himself up. "I didn't mean it like that! I mean--"

"Just take me home," Roxas interrupted. "Just…Just take me home."

There was an uneasy feeling in his bones, a stone in his gut as he did as Roxas told him, diligently silent while sneaking glances at the boy. The blond was ignoring him.

"_We're at our best when it's from our hips," _some stranger that Axel would never ever met sang to him, while he eyed the left turn; it would bring him closer to the highway and the right; which would bring him closer to Roxas.

Last night the slam Roxas gave the car door as he stomped off was booming compared to the quiet of the night. Arms crossed and shoulders slumped, Roxas was physically closed off. And Axel stared, too stunned at the turn of events to really understand them. Was this what people meant when they said 'over before it begun'? Was this really how it was going to be?

"_From our hips we don't give a shit. It just feels good and that's no sin." _Currently Axel smoothly took the right turn, effortlessly spinning the wheel.

Last night Axel thought, fuck no. Fuck no, that's not how it works. You don't stomp off angrily and just, just, walk away! You don't do that….

His own door slam echoed into the night and his footsteps seemed too loud, too obvious but he thought that it was his pounding heart that gave him away, thumping away in his chest as he ran after Roxas's retreating back. "Roxas!" He called, long legs carrying him easily to where the short blond was just opening his door, startled expression all over him. He wasn't able to say anything, Axel ducking down and pressing their lips together in a chaste kiss.

"_It the only way to feel alive, the closest thing to being born again." _

"You've never been in love before," Axel whispered, knocking their foreheads together gently. "I don't want to burn. How about you?"

Relief pouring out his ears, Roxas dumbly whispered back, "No…."

"_And when baby comes to shout well done, a roll in the hay, or roll around the suuuuuun!"_

Firm pressure was back, a soft, gentle, little kiss, no tongue, no hot and heavy panting, no teeth accidentally hit in the rush and it was all gone before the teen could react. A smiling Axel backed up; nervous excitement rushing through him like it did when he reached a new town, a new place to investigate. "Goodnight Roxas." A wide, easy smile crossed the man's angular face and a dazed cousin gracing Roxas's. They both chuckled, nervous laughter leaving them giggly and light.

As Axel turned the corner, looking back just one more time before disappearing out of sight, Roxas lifted a hand to his mouth, feeling the tingling sensation and the ghost of Axel's lips on his. He nodded to himself and smiled even as he slept.

The teen, out of his uniform and into his well washed Exploring Clothes, impatiently waited for Axel to come back, fingers drumming on his knees. If Roxas were a dog, his tail would have been gone on hyper drive as he saw the familiar Cadillac roll up and the ever-familiar red hair come in view.

"Well heeeey there. Ya need a ride, handsome?" Axel grinned, a lazy southern accent sugarcoating his words.

Roxas laughed, grin nearly hurting his cheeks. "I sure do," he said with the same southern boy accent and reached for the door handle. Just as his fingers brushed against the cool metal, Axel pushed in the gas, the car rumbling forward and out of Roxas's reach.

"Didn't your mother tell you not to ride with strangers?"

"My mother told me lots of things," Roxas stated, forgoing the door handle entirely and climbing over the door, plopping down with a smug grin. "And besides, you're no stranger." Roxas leaned forward, eyes asking if it was alright, asking if it was okay. The redhead cupped the back of his head, meeting him halfway there in a short kiss. An easy, simple little kiss that lasted no more than five seconds, just enough to get the point across but not enough to go over a line Axel wasn't sure he even wanted to cross.

Axel pulled away for a brief second, catching his breath and bracing himself before rushing in again, stunning the teen who eagerly responded. It was just a small step, Axel told himself, just _one _tiny, itsy-bitsy level up. No matter, no reason to be alarmed. It was just a bit more lip, a tiny bit more intense. But as he pulled away he couldn't help but feel his pulse speed up at the glazed over look Roxas had, how his lips parted.

"So," Axel said cheerfully, revving up the engine. "How do you feel about biking?"

"_We're at our worst when it's from out lips. From our lips we caused a rift and the world is falling in. From babble to bar room brawls, our words have formed a death sentence. And I wish that we had never talked, our hips said it all. Heeeeeey! Heeeeey!"_

_---_

"Well, honey, I'm really glad you're having fun," Daisy enthused, phone held tightly between her shoulder and her ear. "You sound so much more happy now, Roxas."

Hundreds of miles away, Roxas flushed, smile growing a bit. He was happy, wasn't he? So much happier than when he left Twilight Town that was for sure. "Yeah mom, I'm glad too," he responded distantly, seeing a familiar car turn into the parking lot. "My shift's about to start, I gotta go, mom. I'll call you later, okay?"

"Okay, sweetie. I love you, goodbye," she nearly sung, internally triumphant when he said it back. She hung up, smiling from her phone call. While she was nervous about it weeks ago, now she knew she did the right thing. Not only was Roxas behaving better, he sounded better, like the boy he used to be before Sora Taylor came into his life. A good, happy, nice boy. She happily scrubbed a dish, removing a stain from its surface.

Before he went into sophomore year, Roxas was all of those things. He had friends she approved of, a hobby that bruised him but made him happy and kept him from physically active and away from _other_ things. Then things went south, his old friends never came by anymore, his skateboard sat in the garage for weeks, for months. Then his lanky kid started to be over _all the time_, and Roxas's clothes changed, his hair changed, his attitude changed. His grades dropped from A's to C's, he got detentions for skipping, for ditching school entirely.

He was so different form the boy she knew she raised that she couldn't believe it, didn't want to believe it. Shipping him away to Donald's was the only thing she could think of that might work. And lo and behold, it did. Probably, she reminded herself, keeping in mind all the other times Roxas seemed like he was the person he used to be before shifting back.

All she could do is, hope, hope, hope. Hope that at the end of the summer, he was a changed boy so she could bring him back home.

---

"Mmmha, haa haaa," Roxas breathed, knotting his fingers into Axel's hair and delighting in the little shiver Axel gave before crushing their mouths together again. Not in the little pecks Axel liked to give but in a real kiss, an intense kiss, a hungry kiss.

Axel may not want to move fast but Roxas was determined to get as close to the line as possible.

And Axel didn't really fight it, he soon discovered, pressing feather light kisses to whatever skin was closest, feather light kisses soon becoming a little more determined, a little more eager until Roxas was able to maneuver himself onto the redhead's lap. Roxas liked this, liked the fluttery feeling it gave him even without the help of alcohol or pot. Axel just had to lick his bottom lip like he did and Roxas was in cloud nine, flying high, moaning with delight.

Axel didn't want to move fast but Roxas was determined to get as close to the line as possible… But the 'line' was only visible _after_ he crossed it.

"Ah, raah--Roxas," Axel choked out suddenly, pulling away from the blond with an alarmed face. Roxas inwardly groaned…_not again! _But he could only sigh, defeated, as his hands were removed and Axel regained lucidity, the heavy glaze gone. "We need to stop, Rox." He squirmed under the blond, gently pushing on his hips, silently telling him to get off, please, dear god, get off me.

Not even a second after Roxas removed himself, Axel jumped out the car, blowing out and sucking in long and even breaths while he leaned against the side of the car. He ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head softly. "You're gonna be the death of Roxas," he chided.

"You promise?"

Axel laughed, breathy and light, turning to him with a dry grin in place. "Only you, Roxas. Only you." After another moment or two of self-denial Axel returned to the car, giving Roxas a warning stare before he pulled Roxas in, arm around his shoulders and eyes toward the sky, watching the expanse of stars.

Roxas liked this too though; whenever he was just close but not _too_ close, touching but not _touching_. It was…different. Nicer. It was comfortable, cozy in a way that he'd never had before. It was always approach, flirt, kiss, fuck. It's what he was used to, what he knew. It was tens kinds of strange to him that Axel stopped himself, preferred this closeness to another kind of _close_. …But it was nice, feeling his arm around you, loose but there, a security blanket. He liked this too.

---

"So… Tell me about Twilight Town. What did you do for fun there?" They were walking around town, going anywhere and nowhere when Axel asked, _finally_ asked the question that must have been on his mind for _ages_.

"Uhh, sophomore year or pre-sophomore year?"

"What the difference?"

"There's an entire world of difference. Everything changed after freshman year, my entire world changed."

"What happened?"

"Well….It's complicated…" Roxas winced, unsure of if he really wanted to tell that story.

"If I didn't like complicated do you think I would be here right now?" Axel teased, hand brushing against his.

Roxas softly laughed, though he didn't think it was quite funny. "Well… Well. To understand you need to know that I used to have three best friends. Since forever, literally. As soon as I moved to Twilight Town, I met Hayner Mitchell. He was my best, best friend." Roxas smiled sadly. "We went through everything together. Got into little kid trouble, played in the sandbox, through mud at each other. If you asked me who my best friend I was I would Hayner without even thinking about it. We were together through thick and thin. We got into skateboarding--"

"You were a skateboarder?! No shit!"

"Yes. Don't interrupt me. So we skateboarded, since we were eight, right? We loved it. Everyday we would grab our boards and just hit the town. We ended up landing on our asses more than actually landing the tricks we tried. Then we met Pence. Kinda chubby, really dorky but he was cool. He always took pictures of us skateboarding. His parents were artists," Roxas explained as he jumped onto the painted yellow part of the sidewalk, arms spread out as if he was going to take off flying any second.

"So he was into photography at an early age. And it was just us three, skating around and living the life. We had no interest in popularity or dating, just riding around, feeling the wind behind you. You know, when you skate, sometimes it feels like you're flying, you're weightless, gravity can't stop you.

"And that's when Olette came," Roxas smiled, fond memories racing around him. "She was a skateboarder too, rode around with no padding just like the guys, and took falls just like the guys. She's tough. Hayner tried to tell her only boys could skate at our makeshift park and she punched him in the nose. She was the coolest chick he had ever met, so we integrated her into our group."

"And then there were four."

"Yup." Roxas smiled. "And then we were four. Those were the best times, just riding around, eating ice cream and going to the beach. Watching the sun go down on the clock tower, you remember me telling you about that right? Well, we did that almost all the time. Watched the trams. The best of times…."

"What happened?"

"I got older…." he whispered. "I got older and the world closed in. I'm gay Axel," he smiled wryly. "It just eventually became obvious to me that I didn't care about chicks and noticed the boys instead. I just didn't tell anyone, I pretended everything was fine. Joked about tits and hips." Roxas shook his head, rolling his eyes. "Then high school came around. I spent every second since I knew hiding the fact that I was gay so when I saw kids running around and making out with their boyfriend and girlfriends…" he laughed dryly. "It was a culture shock.

"I dunno, there was just something about seeing everyone happy and being with someone that made me really want to do that with…… But a few days after school started I was with Hayner, and he saw one of them, one of the couples I watched with envy, and he just gave them this _look."_ Roxas sighed. "He wanted to get the hell out of there after that, saying he couldn't stand in be in the same place as those _faggots_."

Axel clicked his tongue, shaking his head with remorse. "Ah, Rox. Look, I'm sorry--"

"No, no it's fine. It's just life. Shit happens. Sometimes you lose friends." He shrugged. "I lost my friends when I met Sora. That was sophomore year. I ditched them for Sora. And that's that. For fun during sophomore year I got high, I got drunk and I had lots and lots of sex," he stated bluntly, not looking at Axel but forward, arms still spread wide.

"Sounds like quite the party," Axel whistled, eyebrows flying up at the information. "Bet you were Mr. Popularity."

"Close. I was best friends with Mr. Popularity. But the drugs, the drinking and the promiscuity led to me being here so…" Roxas shrugged again. "I dunno."

Axel nodded, letting Roxas continue walking down the yellow strip like it was a tightrope and let him concentrate on something that was not the unfortunate past. Mostly because Roxas looked like he was emotionless the entire time but a little, tiny, itsy-bitsy, part in him said it was in hopes Roxas would do the same.

---

Things were going too far.

"Mmn, Ack--ahmm," Roxas shuddered beneath him, his breathy moans filling in the air along with Axel's own heavy breathing.

Things have gone way too far, he thought, but felt Roxas's hands in his hair or up his shirt, gently pleading for it to come off and he was _stumped_. This, he knew now, was what people meant when they said 'getting caught up in the moment'. It started out as nothing; they were watching TV or something, and the WHAM! They were playfully kissing, which erupting into full making out mode and then he was somehow above while Roxas ended up on his back, writhing in something was wasn't appropriate for his age.

"H-hey, rah, Rox," he tried but the boy started sucking on his neck and well, that plan was over before it began.

It was after Roxas's shirt came off, after the blond decided it would be a great idea to leave hickeys on every patch of skin he could reach, after somehow his knee ended up right in-between his legs so when Roxas pulled him down to lock tongues again Axel was really feelin' it. It was after he panted and groaned, after he ran his calloused hands up Roxas's soft skin, felt him breathe under his palm, opening his eyes and seeing Roxas's glazed over eyes, half-lidded and full of that hunger when Axel regained his senses. He thought that this wasn't the way it should be, he didn't even know Roxas's last name!

"Stop," he breathed. "Stooop, stop, stop, stop, stop." He grabbed Roxas hands, pulling them into a more appropriate place. The younger man whined, groaning with frustration. "What are you doing Roxas? What are _we_ doing?" He asked, frustrated also and fighting to remain in control of the situation, determined to make the blond understand. "What makes this," he gestured to the both of them. "any different than what you've already done?"

Confused, Roxas said nothing, letting Axel continue. "You've never been in love. You always crash before you even take off. Stop crashing Roxas. I know you're sick of crashing, I can see it in your eyes. I don't want to crash. I might fall in love with you Roxas," he admitted, sheepishly smiling. "And I don't even know your last name, how funny is that?"

Roxas was speechless, mouth hanging open, inviting words but not even incoherent utterances could spill out. His heart was beating wildly though, hot blood making him flush a pinkish shade. He couldn't take his eyes off Axel's, eventually uttering, "…Casey. It's Casey."

Axel smiled. "Axel James Scott."

"Axel Scott, huh? Kinda anti-climatic," Roxas joked, but was starting to be embarrassed; Axel's logic was getting to him. How many of those boys did he even really know? Did he even know their _first names_?

Axel chuckled, rolling his eyes. "Anything would be anti -climatic if you think about. How many names are on par with Axel?"

"Roxas," the blond grinned. "People always said it was original. It's unique."

"Yeah," Axel smiled, had that look in his eyes that Roxas liked. "I think Roxas is a pretty beastly name. Together we could rule the world."

"We could."

They stared at each other, Axel softly smiling and looking at Roxas like he was the most interesting thing in the world. Under the redhead's stare, Roxas had no doubt he was. He couldn't really describe what he felt now. On one hand, it was insulting that Axel kept rejecting him and an indescribable melting, soft, fluffy, flying feeling to know why. He felt like he was important, so important that Axel knew he didn't want to fuck it up even without knowing him too well.

"C'mere," Axel said, opening his arms invitingly, fingers beckoning wildly. "I really want to hold you right now."

A month or two before only drugs and sex could make him feel like he was flying, racing through the sky at top speed, a year before only skateboarding gave him the almost same feeling. Now, wrapping his arms around Axel neck and feeling Axel wrap his own around his waist, feeling their naked chests brush against each other softy but Roxas took most notice on how he felt like he was soaring, even with Axel holding him tight and secure.

He nuzzled into the space between Axel's shoulder and neck. "I think I like you," he whispered loudly, smiling. He felt Axel laugh, shaking with the effort. "I think I like you too, Roxas Casey."

--

It was another day, just like the rest, Axel pulling away when he thought things were getting a little too hot and heavy and doing something cute afterward, like pulling Roxas to him and spoon for the rest of the time they had together, whispering little things into the blonde's ear. Little funny things like; "I like your toes." or "I think you're pretty cute." or "I seriously have to pee but I don't want to leave you.". They ranged from "I wonder what's on TV." to "Tell me about when you were a kid." to "What's your mom like?" and sometimes even ranging to stories about places he'd been or about the redhead himself.

During those times Roxas would listen carefully, eagerly soaking up the information. He learned little things, funny things, but they were things that didn't really matter, only answers unimportant questions and skipping over the big ones. Things like; "I went to a catholic school. I think nuns are the devil." or "My favorite color is blue." and "When I was a kid I thought Superman was an actual person and he was actually flying around and saving people in Metropolis. I was _so_ disappointed."

But today was slightly different. Axel asked; "Why did you do it?"

Roxas continued tracing the lines on Axel's palms trying to remember what meant what. "Do what?"

"Ditch your friends."

Roxas froze, twisted around to glance at him, blinking at his patient, curious expression. "Why?"

Axel shrugged, looking at his through half-lidded eyes. "Just wanted to know. I like learning about you. I think you're pretty cool."

Roxas shifted back over, staring intently at the grooves he traced. "I dunno… It just happened…" He replied distantly. "I just… Like I said it just kept building up, I couldn't take it anymore. I started really hating myself… Over the summer it was unbearable. I felt so stifled, like I was being something I was forced into being. I was just fed up. And then sophomore year happened." Roxas's lips quirked up at the memory. "Two days into my Lit. class and Sora, he sat next to me, he told me 'Hey, I know you're gay. And I want you to now it's okay!'" He chuckled, shaking his head.

"Sora Taylor… he's either the weirdest or the coolest kid to every grace the halls of Twilight community high school. And he was by best friend," Roxas whispered. "It was such a relief, not having to hold it in, not having to pretend. He just accepted it. For that one hour I didn't have to hold it back, pretend. It was like a fresh breath of air. Sora was so nice, so welcoming, so accepting that when he asked if I wanted to go to a party with him. I said yes.

"There's this thing," Roxas continued. "In Twilight Town called a Struggle Tournament. It's like a contest for skateboarders. Me and Hayner and Olette did it every year. We cleared our schedules for it, marked the date on the calendar and had countdowns. It was such a big deal to us, Hayner especially. Before Sora asked me if I wanted to go to the party that night…I was going to go to the Struggle Tournament that same night.

"I ditched it," he said simply, robotically. "I turned off my phone and followed Sora wherever he wanted to take me."

"So what happened?" Axel questioned, placing his head on Roxas's shoulder to look down on him. "Was Hayner pissed?"

"Very pissed. But when he found me the next day to confront me about it, I was making out with some kid I met at the party. By then I believed that if he didn't like that I was gay, fuck him. Ya know? Sora said that if he couldn't handle it then I shouldn't care because that means he wasn't being a good friend." He laughed, but it was a hollow laugh, a sad laugh. "He never talked to me again. He didn't even look at me after that. None of them ever said a word to me after that, not a word," he choked out, shoulders jumping.

"Aww, Rox," Axel tsk-ed. "C'mere. I'm sorry, babe." He placed several kisses on Roxas's temple after gathering him into his arms. "I'm sorry Rox."

"An-and now S-Sora probably hates me!" He sniffed. "I said a bunch of shit. But I was pissed and angry. And I just fucked up. He won't want anything to do with me!"

"Sshhh, sshh. I'm sure that's not true. You're the coolest kid I know. I knew you five minutes and I wanted something to do with you. Yeah? Just calm down, Roxas. I'm sure he's just sitting around, waiting for you to call him or something. Why were you pissed?"

"'Cause I got wasted," Roxas groaned. "And high and that's never a good combination. I fucked his boyfriend," he admitted, staring up the shocked Axel with his big blue eyes. "And me and Sora were friends with benefits when he wasn't dating Riku and I got pissed one day and had sex with Riku and then at the party I was drunk and we all had sex but I wasn't supposed to be at the party so my mom waited up until I came home at four in the morning but I was unconscious and Sora and Riku just left me on my front porch for my mom to find. But I was pissed 'cause my mom said I was coming here and I yelled at him because I thought it was all his fault but now I'm too sure and---"

"Whoa." Drawing back and fixing Roxas with an uncertain look he said it again. "Whoa."

"Don't look at me like that Axel," Roxas murmured, staring up at him through blond fringe. "It's just….I told you okay? You wanted to know and I told you. I'm not gonna lie and pretend it never happened, or say that I was Mr. Perfect. I did what I did and now I'm here to do something about it…I don't know…"

Axel stared at him, mouth hanging slightly open, an uncomprehending look all over him. "Soo…..what you're telling' me is that you pissed off your best friend who didn't know you were gay for some other guy who knew you were gay? And you adopted his party lifestyle without ever looking back? And because you ditched your ex-best friend and became this wild party animal and thus making your mother become worried and ship you off?" He shook his head, laughing softly. "And I thought my high school career was messy."

"Don't make fun of me," Roxas persisted, pouting angrily.

Axel laughed, waving a hand around. "I'm not, I'm not, I'm not." He gathered Roxas back into his chest, chuckling. "Roxas, a party animal, never would have guessed it. You look so cute and small but I guess you have the bite to go with your bark. Sora Taylor huh? Funny name. Would I want to meet him?"

Roxas frowned, snaking his arms around Axel's thin torso. "…Yeah, probably. He's interesting to say the least. Complicated. He has some issues."

"Hmm? Like what?"

The blond bit his lip, unsure if he should really continue. It was personal, private, Sora's life...but… "Well, for starters, he's flamboyantly gay, which wouldn't really be a problem expect for his parents. Although I guess it really starts with his brother. Sora has a brother, Sky Taylor. Sora's parents planned to only have one kid and his mother named him Sky. She adored Sky, spoiled him rotten. She didn't want another kid but had Sora anyway. Sora means Sky in Japanese," Roxas told him. "It was like she wanted to have another Sky, another perfect little Sky. Sora always felt like he was a stand-in for his own brother and his mom never really let him think otherwise. It was always 'Sky would never do that!' and 'Sky would never do this!'.

"She hates Sora," Roxas shook his head, eyes wide. "Like really wishes she never had him. And Sora hates her and acts out because she hates him which makes her hate him more. It's a vicious cycle. What really gets me is though that she thinks the world of Sky, when he's off in Europe bangin' Swedes and lighting up in Amsterdam and calling home only once a month to beg for money. His mom is messed up, really messed up. I can't blame Sora for what he does. He's always trying to break out of the shadow his older brother set out."

"Poor kid," Axel said. "But do you forgive him for what he did to you?"

Silent Roxas thought. Did he? It's been so long he couldn't even call upon the anger he felt. Sora fucked up, everyone does. It was just that Roxas paid for it this time. "Yeah…I think I do."

"You still want to be his friend?"

"I dunno…"

"You wanna know what I think?"

"What?"

"I think that you should think about things you've done, I mean, I know you're not really proud of it. I just think that if you're not proud of what you're doing then you shouldn't be doing it at all. And if Sora's the center of all those things then I don't think he's really that good for you."

"But he's all I got."

And Axel pulled him tighter, wondering what the boy would be like if they grew up together in Boston and what would have happened then, wondering what his life would have been if he met Roxas sooner and miles and miles away. Axel squeezed Roxas to him; thinking that this whole mess never would have happened, not at all.

--

There was only heat.

Heat, the smell of sweat and something earthy and lightning-bolt pleasure. These were the things that Roxas picked out in the overload of senses that bombarded him. "A-aah, nngh, shhh-shit," he cursed, eyes squeezed tight together like they were glued shut. "Mother fuck." He panted, breathing fast and heavy, hands searching for something they could squeeze, grip, clutch…tug.

"Aaah! Hey now."

One blue eye squinted open and what he saw made him moan and arch into the hand that held him, a loose fist around him and jerking in a careful, almost slow-teasing- rhythm.

"Okay," Axel said earlier, looking into his eyes with that mind reading stare of his. "Okay." Roxas didn't know what Axel was really talking about, only responding eagerly when lips were in his, sucking on his bottom lip and biting softly in a way that seemed just like the redhead.

What followed what startling, but a good kind of startling, the _best_ kind of startling.

Axel wasn't a fast, whirlwind kind of guy he soon found. Quite the opposite, actually. He was slow, soft, caressing him, kissing him, just leisurely working his way up or down. A slow lover, taking his time to kiss you senseless, make your skin burn with the slightest graze, have you arch and jerk uncontrollably. By the time Axel's shirt was even off Roxas was panting and hard with need, groaning loudly when Axel took his time there too.

It was amazing, impossibly so, unlike nothing Roxas had had before. He literally shuddered when the older man ran his fingertips up his spine, left gasping at little things and that was the best part of it. The blond didn't even know if he had ever been touched like this, if he ever felt so worshipped and taken care of, expected to just lay back and _feel, just feel_.

There was a mirror in Axel's motel room, right across from the bed. He wasn't sure if it was there for convenience reasons or for more erotic reasons but it was currently being used for the latter. Whenever the blond opened his eyes he saw himself, looking out from half-lidded eyes, mouth open in a gasp, a moan, a whine of need and want. He saw Axel sucking on his neck, biting his ear, or licking up his jaw line while Roxas abused his hair, tug, tug, tugging on it.

"A-aah, ah…ah. Nggh! Mmn!" He gripped hard on the lock of hair he held in a death grip in his fisted hand, the sheets were suffering the same brutality, clenched in Roxas's fist. Regardless Axel nipped and sucked, tasting sweat on the teen's skin.

Roxas bit his lip, watching in the mirror as the redhead touched him; one hand currently stroking a nipple and the other busy eliciting moans and groans, making him shake and thrust up into the hand that held him. He never really thought he was one for kink, or fetishes, usually thinking different sexual positions were enough for him, but seeing himself, hot and heavy, panting while receiving one of the best hand jobs he'd ever had, _holymotherfuckingshitfuck. _

Axel hissed, on the receiving end of another vicious pull on his hair, taking his revenge by tightening his fisted hand just a bit more, quickening the speed in which he pumped up and down. Roxas gasped, jerking upward and arching against the redhead's chest, fingers wrapping around even more tightly around Axel's bright red hair and pulling down hard with every thrust he made. Axel did his best to ignore it, inhaling the sweet fruity scent left in Roxas's hair, busied himself with stroking up and down the blonde's length. He too watched in the mirror, sharp green eyes locking with dazed blue every once in awhile, Roxas shuddering in response, lips quirking upwards in what would have been a smile if he didn't let out a strangled moan a second.

"Ah shit, Axel. Ahh-ha," the teen's breath hitched. "Fuck…Axel." He let out another string of curses and chants of the redhead's name, gulping and panting and not even able to open his eyes to look anymore. The heat built up, everything intensifying until he could pick out a few things, the heat, the smell of sweat and Axel's body wash, and the feel of lightning bolt pleasure every time Axel's lithe fingers ran up and down his cock, himself jerking up wildly into the feeling.

He gasped, thrust up into Axel's pre-cum soaked hand and everything was white, so bright, as he felt like he was literally shocked by lightning.

The next thing he was aware of was the light kisses Axel left on his cheeks, on the tip of his nose, on his forehead and ears and neck and finally pressing softly to lips. Roxas was still panting softly, responding belatedly, utterly spent. Axel laughed, soft and light, airy, musical in a funny way. The blond curled up into his chest, arms circling him a moment latter, Axel resting his chin on the top of his chin contently.

"Yeah," he whispered. "I think I defiantly really like you." And Axel laughed again, the smile sticking with him well into the night, still plastered onto his face when he drifted off into dreamland, hoping he would see Roxas there.

* * *

I totally blushed when i typed the SEE OH SEE KAY word.

I was so nervous about writing this chapter, I had no idea how to start it at first, and I really psyched myself out. So to battle that I just went ahead and wrote out another scene i had planned out since, oh, about chapter 3, ahaha. Um, yeah. So...uh, CULT will be out next... but delayed. as usual. I have a big project due and i have to draw a bunch of slides to make an animation old school style. i super stoked to do it but I need to get it done quick so for those of you who read both of my fics just be prepared to wait a little while longer for the next chapters, please? Be happy, it means that these two will last longer (lookin at the end of november for completion of both.). =] have a great rest of the day, have a amazing week, smile at random people and just generally make smart choices, like Sora! Little rascal.

[EDIT] song is From the Hips by Cursive.

If you got the time, drop me a line, tell me what you thought. I would appreciate critisim if you got it, I like hearing what people got to say and I always try to reply if I have something smart to say back. :]


	10. Act Two, Scene Five Triumph

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAPPY READING AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHH :]

* * *

Summer Boy

One week. Sora huffed out a bitter laugh. He lasted one week, one little week. He was weak, he was miniscule, pathetic. But he did so well, he did, he tried, he really, really tried. He lifted his hand back up and sucked on the twisted end of the blunt he held gingerly.

As he exhaled, he gasped, tears stinging his eyes. It wasn't an aftereffect from the smoke, no that was for amateurs. He wiped away the offending tears angrily, indignant that the smoke wasn't working yet, not yet taking him to the moon. _Fuck_, he thought, inhaling a deep drag. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

As he exhaled again he watched the curling trails of the smoke as they lifted into the starry night sky. A sob racked him, shaking his shoulders and clenching his eyes tightly. Still he brought the drug back up to his lips, taking yet another hit. This time he could feel it, a lightness to his bones, a little fuzzy edge to everything. But he still felt _it_. The empty, the pit in his stomach that never, never went away. He felt sad.

It was a warm summer night. Songs and movies and books were built on nights like these; the summer nights; where the freedom of the day continued into the night. The shingles of the roof were hard against butt, making it numb sooner than not. He snuck out of the window upstairs, found the hidden bundle of a few blunts he hid up here earlier and promptly forgot about and immediately lit one up.

It was a summer night and movies and books and songs were made on these, life was made on these, and he couldn't stop thinking about it. How everyone else seemed to have it all together, were all perfect and great and people loved them unconditionally. Sora sucked in a few shuddery breaths, choking on his own distraught sibs. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair.

_Kai sniffed at him, nose upturned and looking down at him like he was a bug on the sidewalk. She was going to court in a few weeks for her busted party but sneered at him. "Well, if it isn't Sora sobriety." "At least when you were high you had an excuse for being a slut." "I guess you're only the life of the party when X is involved. Huh. How far you have fallen. See ya around….Or not. Ha!"_

Hot fat tears fell down his face, streaking down and down and down, falling from his chin. He continuously sniffed back up runny snot. The brunette wiped away both bitterly, angry at them, himself, and everyone else. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair.

How many friends did he have now? How many people could he say were there for him regardless?

The blunt was thinner than usual, disappearing too fast in his fingers, and he still wasn't gone, he still felt the world closing in on him, his hopelessness. He was alone, alone, alone, alone. And the stars had never looked so bright before.

Before he really comprehended what he was doing, Sora's bare feet were hitting the pavement, running as fast as he could.

_Riku_, he thought, _Riku_, while tears streaked his face, growing cold as they dried. Riku would help. Riku always helped. Riku was here for him, practically worshipped the ground he walked on. Riku would fight for him, would fix everything. The brunette just needed to say the word and it was done. Your wish is my command.

But then, he also thought, a little whisper in the back of his head, that's when he's happy. That's when he loves you. That's when you don't betray him, lie to him, and try to break him so you can feel better. That's when you don't go out of your way to hurt him and succeed without even lifting a finger. And what have you already done? You're high, you caved, you gave up already. In one week! It's always back and forth with you isn't it? Isn't it?!

He ran faster, legs aching, lungs aching, head aching. Just moving forward, telling himself that Riku would forgive him for this one little, itty-bitty, slipup. He always did, didn't he? One way or another Riku always forgave him. Always.

Later, rather than sooner, he arrived at Riku's home, sweaty and gross and throwing pebbles at Riku's window like he was in a romantic-comedy, smiling as a light went on. Riku's bed-head poked out, leaning on the sill and grinning ear to ear as he spotted the brunette. "So does this makes me Juliette to your Romeo?"

"If you wanna do it that way, sure, fine with me. Come down," he called hopefully. "I wanna be with you."

With one last stunning smile the silver-haired graduate disappeared from view, returning later with a hoodie and jeans on, ducking out of the window and climbing down the side of the house in a fashion that reminded Sora of a squirrel. "Hey there," he whispered in the night, laying a kiss on Sora's lips. Drawing back he saw the brunettes dilated pupils, smile falling immediately. "Are you high? Are you fucking _high_?"

Sora jumped back at the angry accusation, startled eyes flickering around, searching for something smart to say. "N-No!" He stuttered. He could nearly feel the anger in Riku's glare and when he peeked up he found he was right, Riku's looking for all the world like he really, really, really wanted to punch something.

"Don't fucking lie to me Sora! You think I'm stupid? Jesus fuck!" The tall boy ran a hand through his messy hair, blowing out a breath, trying to calm himself. No dice. "What the hell Sora?! You got high! You give me the third degree when I even talk about it but it's okay if you smoke? It's only okay if you do it. Sometimes you really piss me off So," he snapped. "You're so two-faced! And a hypocrite! You just slammed Selphie for it yesterday and now you go right ahead and ignore your own advice and light up. What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

Again, Sora flinched, every word like an arrow, hitting him in just the right spot and his high hardly softened the blow. "Riku," he tried to say but Riku wouldn't even let him finish.

"No." His jaw tight and eyes so cloudy with pissed off-ness, he looked like an angry god, like the furious Poseidon picture the brunette saw once in a book, all wicked perfection and danger. "No. You _always_ do this! I'm sick of it! You keep laying down so many laws and rules with me but you don't even follow them yourself. Whenever I try to talk about it you always give some bullshit excuse and I'm sick of hearing them Sora! I'm so sick of you being a little bitch all the time!"

"I do not act that way!" Sora shouted loudly, indignant and going red with frustration, with embarrassment. "And you can't even talk, you--"

"This is exactly what I mean," Riku interrupted, gesturing to the brunette. "You always do this! Try to put the blame on me so it'll be off you!"

"I do not!"

"You do to! Every single time! Every time you act like you're the victim, like I'm the one who's at fault here. And I'm not! I never am either! Its always you, you, you, you. You're the one that usually fucks up and I just try to confront you and you freak out!"

"That's not true! You cheated on me last time, remember?! You fucked that blond chick!"

"Are you listening to yourself?" Riku asked, shaking his head and laughing a hard laugh. "_Last time. _The time before that and the time before that, you cheated on _me_. And I apologized for that Sora," he said, eyes holding Sora's. "I apologized for that and I explained what happened and I never did it again. I only ever slept with other people to spite you. You, on the other hand, you can't even say that."

The brunette flushed, mouth opening a few times to spit out something mean and scathing and something to prove the silver haired boy wrong but nothing came out. He had nothing and it made him even more angry, even more embarrassed and flustered. It was true though… It was true. "Shut up! Just-just fucking shut up!"

"'Cause you know it's true! I always apologized; I always crawled back to you on my fucking knees and begged for your forgiveness, because I was _sorry_. You are the only person I have ever wanted," he confessed, but his voice was hard and weary, he looked ages older. "Never, not once, did you ever say you were sorry for all those times you screwed around. Never. Do you know how that makes me feel? I feel like a piece of shit, like you don't even give a shit enough about me _to_ apologize. And you do the same every time, giving me an excuse that I either have to take or lose you forever.

"I love you," he said, shoulders slumping as his rant started to end. "I love you but I don't think I can do this anymore. You're killing me. This isn't normal. This isn't how a relationship should be. I give and give and give and give and you just take it all."

"That's not true," Sora murmured, glowering under his bangs.

"_Yes it is. _It is. Since day one. I don't think I can do this anymore, I don't think I can fight for us anymore. _I'm so tired_, Sora."

"Don't say that," Sora choked out softly, tears swelling, mood switching from frustrated to so fucking sad _like that_. "Don't say that, Riku."

Riku ran a hand through his hair again, expression so, so _expressionless_, looking at him with dull eyes, for once not mirroring what the older boy was thinking. "I can't do this. I can't do this. I quit," he declared with am calm voice, stepping back. "I'm done," he said, turning his back on the brunette and walking toward the door, pulling out his key. "I'm done."

"_Riku!" _Sora cried. "Please! Don't, don't leave. I'm sorry, okay? I'm so fucking sorry. Just don't go! I need you!"

Riku shook his head, long hair falling over his shoulder. He said nothing but took one last look at his now ex-boyfriend, and for a second Sora could have sworn his lip was quivering, brows furrowing as his face twisted, before he was gone, door shutting gently behind him.

"_Riku!"_

Sora Taylor stood there, looking at the place Riku once stood, jaw dropped in shock, heart pumping hard, fear rushing through him, panic raging. But that crested, leaving him with a dull, lifeless feeling all the way to his bones. He felt numb, cold, empty.

He turned and walked home, the soft slapping of his feet on the pavement the only sound that really registered with him.

Sora remembered the event Riku talked about, remembered the first time he cheated, the first time Riku forgave him and took him back.

It was after they had sex, all that was left of Sora's V-card a faint bloodstain on Riku's sheets. It was different then, really different. He felt like he had nothing else to give Riku, nothing keeping interested anymore since he had everything Sora was able to give. The brunette noticed more how the junior would look at other people and eventually he began counting the days until he would be dumped, left for someone else to pick up, like trash, or damaged goods.

He thought about this so much, tossing and turning in the night thinking these things (how Riku didn't want him anymore, about how he was pretty plain, only cute and nothing more, maybe a good fuck if you wanted to push things) that he really believed it. He really figured that sooner rather than later Riku would find someone else and leave him.

So he figured, Setzer, a college student, leering down at him, he would just end it before Riku could. Afterward, Sora put his clothes back on and walked home, limping slightly and almost crying. Later Riku climbed through his window and forgave him, _forgave him. _Riku'd always forgave him, even when Sora got violent, anger and frustration and worries kept inside until it just got too much to handle. When _he_ got too much to handle…. Except for now.

Sora looked up at the starry, starry sky, thinking it was the only time Riku's ever not given him what he wanted. The first time he said no and didn't give in and turn back. Sora'd always gotten what he wanted, hardly ever had to bat an eye for it. Riku was right…. That wasn't normal.

And… he'd always used the silver haired boy as a crutch, whined and complained to him, let the older boy fight his fights and coddle him. The same with Roxas. Was there a time when he ever did things himself? Fought for himself? Was there ever a time when he didn't _need_ Riku to keep him in control? A time when he didn't need one or both of them to do something? He'd always counted on them… and now he didn't have either of them to lean on.

He had only himself. Little Sora Taylor who'd never been alone before.

And being alone was exactly what he hated most, why he worried so much about Riku leaving him, why he kept Roxas tied to him. He'd never been alone before, always had someone putting him back together. Who was he without them? Sora didn't even know, the two more or less defining him.

Maybe… maybe he just needed to be alone, be Sora for awhile. Count on solely himself for awhile. Instead of needing someone to love him (which Sora knew was why he did everything he ever did) he would just love himself for awhile. He would get his head together like he wanted…alone, counting on himself. He could do it, he could do anything. He just needed to learn how to pick himself back up and do it alone for once.

He inhaled a breath of cool summer air and kept on walking, soldiering on by himself.

-----

It wasn't bad at all, Roxas decided one day, being a male maid. He stepped back to observe his work, nodding once at it. It didn't seem slow and menial at all anymore, especially with Axel waiting patently to sweep him away after hours. That lone fact made him grin and bear it when he saw all the white sperm stains on the dirty sheets. It made him actually hum while scrubbing the tiles of the bathroom. It made him not scream when he had to wash the toilet too.

Yuffie watched him quietly, eyes slightly narrowed as when he didn't complain at all about the toilet. She had to suppress every desire to say something, actually from the lack of having something intelligent to say and 'what have you done with Roxy, you alien scum?!' didn't quite fit the cut. At the end of the day she had an idea about his too happy atmosphere. It was one thing to not be a gloomy grump but another to be this starry eyed and only one thing came to mind when she thought about it?

"So…? Who's the lucky lady?"

Roxas looked up. "Excuse me?"

"Oh. Come on! I'm not your mom, you can tell me."

"What?"

"Don't play stupid, bud. I see the look on your face. You met a chick! And you liiiiike her, huh?" Yuffie grinned, nudging him with her elbow.

"_What_?"

"Roooxy, just teeeellll, meee," she whined. "I wanna know. What's she like? Where'd you meet her? She pretty?"

The blond fumbled with the sponge, frowning at it. Yuffie thought he met a chick? A part of him wanted to explain that he met a boy, but that would more doors than he wanted and he didn't really feel like explaining his relationship with Axel…he paused, did he have a relationship with Axel? He knew he did, but did he? Was he Axel's boyfriend? They hadn't really talked about those things. "Uhm, yeah. Really pretty… I met -her- around town. We, uh, just kept bumping into each other. She's really awesome," Roxas said, getting into it. "She knows all the really cool places around and is just, she's really awesome. I really like her."

Yuffie cooed, smiling big at him. "Ooooh! That's so awesome Rox, I'm really glad you found her. You seem so much more happy. And don't worry, I wont tell boss man," she crossed her heart. "Your secret is safe with me."

God he hoped so. He really, honestly hoped so. He didn't know what he would say to his father if she slipped that he was seeing someone. He also didn't to fumble through the awkward conversation of 'safe sex' and 'responsibilities' that would surely follow. It would just… be too awkward.

---

"Well, Daisy, Roxas is doing fine. I've had no trouble with him whatsoever," Donald replied monotonously while looking over papers.

"_That's good. I think this trip has really helped him out, I just hope it stays that way," _she sighed, static brushing over the phone. _"I just want you to know how thankful I am that you took him in. Really. I appreciate it so much."_

Don grimaced, dour. "He's my son too, Daisy."

The other line went quiet for a moment; even hundreds of miles away Daisy must have felt the spark of irritation on his side of things. _"I…I know that Donald. I'm sorry; I hope I didn't come off as--"_

"It's nothing. Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. But… Roxas has been doing great here, he hasn't been misbehaving like you thought he might, he hasn't been talking back or rude, and I think he really likes it here."

"…_.Do…Do you think he should stay?"_

"Do you?" he shot back but sighed after, rubbing his eyes and looking at the time, wondering if he was gonna get anything done today at all. He'd been thinking this about for awhile. "Honestly, I think you should at least try to bring him back. And just see. If it doesn't work out, Roxas is always welcome here. The schools here are good. And my door is open if he wants to come back of his own will too. I just want you to know that as well."

"…_I know… I...I know. Thank you, Donald. Really. It's good to know that I have an option if things get crazy again."_

"Why didn't you call me when things started? We could have dipped it in the bud." The other line was quiet again and don realized that he made have said that a little too harshly and Daisy had always been sensitive to things like that. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound rude--"

"_No, no it's okay. I guess I deserve it. I'm sorry, Donald. I just, I just wanted to see if I could handle it myself, you know? I didn't want to call for back up if I didn't need it. I didn't want to worry you."_

"I would rather be worried than not know how he's doing. I just want you to call me as soon as things happen again. I don't want you to wait until the last second. Next time Roxas might actually get hurt. And don't look at this like I'm trying to take him away from you, and I know that's what your thinking, Daisy--"

"_I am not."_

"Ok, fine. I don't care if you are or if you're not, just know that I'm not gonna take the backseat to this anymore. I'm going to be more involved so let me _be_ more involved, okay? Obviously you need a little more help sometimes. You're not perfect; just let me take care of things sometimes okay?"

"…_.okay," she breathed. "Okay."_

"Okay," he replied, blinking at how easy it was to say it, how simple it was, and how easily she folded. After he hung up, he let out a held breath and nodded to himself, picking up a thick packet and getting to work on it, encouraged.

---

"I'm cold," Roxas whined, rubbing his arms up and down. "You got a jacket or something I could borrow?" It'd been gloomy all day, threatening to rain soon. They'd been wary to venture out, Axel cracking a joke about how he was at a greater disadvantage for getting hit by lightning than the blond, but they had been going out and watching the moon rise lately and it was almost like a tradition so they went anyways.

"I told you ya should've brought one, but did you listen? Noooo," Axel teased, while standing up. "'Cause I'm Roxas and I don't need jaaaaackets." The blond narrowed his eyes and stuck his tongue out childishly, pouting. "But, yeah, I might have something, I'll go check." Roxas hummed, leaning back against the grill of the car.

The redhead clicked his tongue as he checked the seats, finding no forgotten sweater or discarded jacket laying around for him. His collection of keys jangled as he pursued the right one, 'aha!'-ing to him as he found it and pushed it into the trunk, fingers drumming on his lips as he squinted. Let's see, shopping bag; nope, pair of old jeans, empty cup of coffee, another shopping bag, nope, nope, nope. Axel clicked his tongue, pushing the random contents around and locating a duffle bag… that held nothing! Axel frowned, why did he have so much junk in here?, and threw it to the other side.

And right under where the useless bag once laid was what he was looking for; an old folded up leather jacket that made him smile sadly for a moment. It would be big, but a jacket was a jacket and Roxas would be happy anyway. He was just about to announce he found one and skip back over but he paused, eyes catching something he forgot he had, much like the worn jacket.

It brought bad memories to mind, running his fingers over the bumpy surface, tracing the scars and nicks in it. A beaten up guitar case he bought for three bucks years and years ago, back when he was fourteen. He stared at it for awhile, trying to decide what to do with it, if he should do anything at all, remembering why it was in here in the first place, before shutting the trunk with a SLAM.

"Roooox," he called, grinning. "Found one! You're gonna look like a baby punk!"

--

Axel hands felt rough against his, palms pressed flush together, his fingers coming short by at least an inch. "Ahh, see? My hands are a lot bigger than yours…" Axel grinned at him, devilishly handsome features darkened by the lack of light, black tattoos even darker on his pale face. "But don't worry baby face, eat your veggies and drink your milk and you'll be as tall as me one day."

Roxas barked out a laughed, intertwining their fingers. "As if. I think I'm done growing."

"You'd be surprised. I grew about two inches overnight when I was fifteen. I had to buy all new jeans. I friends called me flood for awhile since all my pants looked like floods. Don't laugh, it was traumatizing," Axel smiled, eyes dropping to their hands, squeezing a little. Roxas squeezed back, bending forward to kiss the older man's lips. He breathily laughed.

"Seems like all of your high school memories are traumatizing."

"Only most of them," Axel laughed, eyes half lidded and looking at him fondly. "But I had some good times too. This one time me and friends broke into the gym locker-room during class and took everyone's clothes and stuffed them into this one big locker on the other side. So throughout the entire days kids were wearing their gym uniforms 'cause they couldn't find their clothes. It was _so_ funny. And one time in chemistry I knocked over the Bunsen burner and set fire to my friend. Ugh, yeah. I had some good times."

The sophomore broke one hand free and traced the black triangles under Axel's green, green eyes. "These one of your 'good times'?"

Axel smiled, eyes crinkled up. "Yup, those too. Got 'em as a high school grad present. Hurt like a bitch. And now I kinda wish I never got 'em, ya know? People look at me weird."

"I think they're sexy."

Axel blinked, taken back by Roxas's bold smirk before grinning himself. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. I think they make you look like a rock star, all hardcore an' shit with your hair," he tugged on a strip of bright red. "Is this real too?"

"Not a chance," Axel said, flushed by how close Roxas was getting under the pretense of examining his hair, nearly straddling him. "I dye it. Rustic Red. Can find it in all of your conveniently located convenience stores."

Roxas laughed, pushing hair apart to look at the roots in several places. "Hmmmm. So you're not a natural redhead…. Are you a _blond_?!"

"What?! No way!" The faux redhead laughed, gently pushing the natural blond away. "Do I look like a blond to you? Can you honestly see me as a blond?"

"So then are you a brunette?" Roxas ventured with a small, flirty grin. Axel leaned back and regarded him with a wry expression. "Wouldn't you like to know," he said simply, teasing.

"I _would_ like to know," Roxas agreed, nodding. His eyes ventured from Axel's drawing down past his chest and down past his stomach and resting right on his crotch. He gently placed a hand on Axel's upper thigh, green eyes shooting immediately to the area. He didn't think the older man was the type to dye his pubes too. "…And I think I know a way to find out…" he said, rubbing circles with his thumb and biting his lip in a way he thought would look really sexy.

Axel gulped, glancing back and forth from Roxas's hand to his face, trying to think of something smart and witty to say. He didn't really know what to say to that, unsure if what he thought was being offered was really being offered and if he should let it happen. The blond knew only physical relationships and Axel didn't want it to be like that. And then Roxas bit his lip and OH MAN, _shit_, there went every thought about stopping him, right out the window. "Okay."

The blond blinked, hand stilling on his thigh. And then he laughed, head thrown back like it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. Unsure, Axel chuckled too, wondering what was going on. "You're funny," he said, smiling so hard that his eyes became so squinty they were just a sliver of blue. "You're funny," he said, falling over in a sort of twist that left him side by side with the redhead, looking up at the ceiling in the motel room. Axel lowered himself down, now flat on his back and stared with him.

After what seemed like five minutes of full silence, Axel felt Roxas entwine their fingers together silently. For some reason Roxas just randomly holding his hand on his own seemed really cool to him. He just kept thinking about that, over and over. He thought about how cold the boy was when they first met and how he now smiled all the time. Axel liked that, really liked that.

--

Roxas squealed, giggling laughter pouring out as they ran across the road, rain splashing all around them. It started out a beautiful warm looking day but in less than five minutes the sky turned from bright blue to near black. The clouds that were once blue were now angry thundering storm clouds, belting out big drops of rain onto the soon drenched town. And the car was at least three blocks away and on the other side of the road.

He was wet just from the very first step out from under the awning they'd been huddling under and by the time they got to the other side, Axel firmly holding his hand and laughing the whole way too, he was positively soaked. Together they all but crashed into the side of the building, teeth clipping together once as their lips smashed together. The blond could feel the smile on the other's lip, the laughter in the kiss. Axel was grinning as he pulled away, smile crinkling his eyes, dark wet hair clinging to his face and neck. "C'mon," he said, motioning to the storm that went on feet away and pulled on their clasped hands. Just looking at him smile made Roxas smile.

And again he running, shoes and socks becoming soaked through as they seemed to splash in every single puddle they passed. He heard himself laughing, dulled out by the loud splattering of rain and cars zooming by, windshields on hyper drive. Roxas's hair, which he usually kept elegantly disheveled, was plastered to his face, in his eyes. This combined with the pelting down rain obscured his vision until he could hardly see. But he felt Axel's hand in his and continued following wherever he led, grinning all the while.

Was this really his life? Running hand in hand in the rain, getting soaked in a shirt he laughed and said you could have? Was this real? This didn't happen in real life, being kissed in warm summer rain, droplets falling right in-between both of your lips.

It just didn't happen, this much happy without sad. Not in this lifetime, not in this time period, not to him.

But it was.

And thinking those thoughts just made him want it more, pulling the taller boy closer, making the kiss deeper, hoping his eyes and face said something like _I love you_ because even if he wasn't too sure what it felt like, what it was, he was sure was fucking feeling it, thinking it, knowing it.

And when they finally pulled apart and Roxas wiped away his bangs and looked at Axel smiling so brilliantly at him, he opened his mouth. And maybe it was so say those three magic words songs and movies and every-fucking-one else made such a big, huge, humongous deal about. But in the end he just leaned forward, standing on his tiptoes to just kiss him again, pressed his body against his like Axel was the only thing keeping him from falling over because that would just have to be enough for now and he didn't really know how to say it.

---

There were times when the past, which only _sometimes, _very rarely, actually acted like it was the _past_, came back to sucker-punch Axel in the face.

It happened on the fourth of July, it happened when he was in Wonder. It happened in a store in Macaulay, less than ten minutes into the small town. It happened several times on the road. It's been happening for eight months. And every time it was nearly the same. He'd grown to dislike it, hate it, abhor it. But he also loved it, the kind of love that you can't stop or even really start and had no choice in the matter. It was like that. He couldn't change the dial quickly enough, couldn't get out of the store or gas station fast enough, fled the area like there was fire on his tail. But if Axel considered himself anything anymore it was that he was a fan of good music. And the song _was_ good. It was magnificent.

And it was playing right now.

He was stuck again at a red light, behind an old car that needed a new paint job when it came on. The DJ announced that coming up was a new band that just registered on the radar named The Nocturnal Culpa and that this was their new single 'Come Home'. Enjoy. There was a starting guitar, soft but growing louder, a catchy riff after catchy riff. Then the singular thump of bass drum being hit.

"_New York," _a voice said morosely. _"Annapolis, Chicago, Las Vegas. There's so many places you could be. I like to think I'm only a step behind but I bet you're ten in front of me." _And then everything sped up, guitars gaining speed and dishing out lively chords, bass going deep and melodic. The drums went wild and the thought made Axel smile.

"_I'll never know what happened and I can't say that I care, all I know is that you're not here and that loss is too much to bear," _the male singer sucked in a harsh theatric breath. "_Oh! Gone, gone, away from this place. You left us in such disgrace like it was a race to run and get out of this place. Where did you go?!" _he screeched. "_Where have you been?! How many times have you looked at a map and planned your next getaway? Just come back and stay," _the singer pleaded.

Axel bit his lip, thinking that the lyrics could be a little smoother on the uptake and that this was the longest red light he's ever fucking been in. Ever. But for once he didn't have the heart to turn it off, a thought of Roxas running though his head, forcing himself to listen, to hear for once, for _just this one time._ Just this one time and then never again.

"_Where have you been?! Where did you go?! _

_Why don't you answer your phone?! And why don't you ever call home?! _

_How could you just go? _

_These punk rock Mecca's in the burbs, _

_They don't sound the same since you left _

_But I figure if you still follow the screaming gospel _

_Then I can bring you back, I can bring you back. _

_I will find you through the airwaves, _

_I'll find you through the airwaves _

_And tell you to come home, come home._

_How many times have you looked at a map wishing you could come back? _

_Just come back. _

_Where did you go? Where have you been? _

_New York, Annapolis, Chicago, Las Vegas. _

_There're so many places you could be, so many places to be seen. _

_I like to think I'm only one step behind but I bet you're ten in front of me. _

_I bet you're ten in front of me. _

_These punk rock Mecca's in the burbs, _

_They don't sound the same since you left _

_But I figure if you still follow the screaming gospel _

_I can bring you back, I can bring you back, bring you back _

_I will find you through the airwaves and tell you to come home._

_Come home!_

_Where did you go? Where have you been?_

_Little rock, Los Angeles, San Fran's lookin' awful nice this year. _

_There're so many places you could be, so many places to see. _

_Nashville, Orlando, Miami, Dallas; check out those cowgirls. _

_Sacramento, Portland, Seattle, maybe you're still in Boston; who knows? _

_There's so many places you could be, so many places to be seen. _

_Where did you go? Where have you been? _

_Where did you go? Where have you been? _

_Where did you go? Where did you go? _

_Where did you go? Where did you go? _

_Just come home, we miss you…"_

Axel bit on the skin of his thumb, driving mechanically, distracted eyes barely registering the road at all as the music faded out. The song was really good… catchy in a way. No wonder why it followed him all over the place, people must eat it up. He idly wondered if it broke onto the top one hundred billboard but scratched that thought off as the billboard of top songs was a sham. The announcer came back on telling him once again that that was The Nocturnal Culpa's single from their new album titled _Forget It, I'm Done _after their song of the same name, which was out in select stores under their independent record label Thirteen Records. Check it out.

Axel was not going to 'check it out'.

Instead he parked in the Flying Lion's lot, locking Lucy up for safe keeping before digging out the key Roxas gave him to his room. The teen was sleeping in, having worked the night shift last night and Axel knew from experience that he was rather cranky (a gross understatement) after being woken up before two in the afternoon. So he crept in quietly, grimacing with every noise the lock made as it gave and with every creak the floor gave under his bed. Roxas was sleeping, apparently just tossed the cover over himself and conked out, not even bothering to take off his shoes. Axel chuckled softly, undoing his laces of his very colorful hipster shoes and gently laying them on the floor.

The bed groaned loudly as he laid back, turning to his side to face the sleeping teen. _We spend every day together, _he thought as brushed aside a lock of hair. _I've spent nearly a month here. With him_. It was the longest he'd stayed anywhere for the past two years. He never would have thought that he would have ended up spending so much time in such a small town. He always drifted toward the big ones, looking for things in their tall spires, searching for things in the skylines. They reminded him of Boston, the big city part of Boston. Every big city nearly resembled it in some way, some little similarity. And it always made him want to leave right away. But he always kept coming back, like an insect to one of those bug zappers. It hurt but he kept on doing it.

Roxas squirmed, murmuring as he blinked a few times, trying to get the sleep out of his eyes. He squinted at Axel and upon recognizing him, flopped his head back down. "Whaddaya doin'?"

Axel smiled softly. "Watching you sleep."

The blond smacked his mouth, yawning widely before considering the redhead. "Creeper," he smiled, near charming with his messed up bed head and sleepy eyes. "What time is it?"

"Almost eleven." The teen groaned and pushed his face into the pillow, curling up again. He mumbled something about going back to sleep, his breath evening out moments later. Axel laughed and pulled the blanket to cover him up more, sneaking under the covers himself. The redhead would have laughed in your face if two months ago you told him he would be cuddling up with a teenager, spend nearly every moment with him too. It just wasn't on his schedule; he didn't even spare it a thought before it actually happened.

He just really, really liked Roxas. That was the only thing tying everything together. Without the boy he would have gone straight through the town after a day or two and never look back, just like every other town he'd been too. It would have been the same. Axel blew into the blonde's face, smirking when he twitched and made a noise in his sleep. Roxas changed the whole routine.

He thought before that if Roxas grew up with him or if they had just met before then maybe everything would have been different, maybe he wouldn't have left. Maybe everything wouldn't be so fucked up and strange, weird. But now Axel realized that even if they met before, were together before, everything still would have happened. He still would have left. He just would have taken Roxas with him.

While idly rubbing his thumb against the boy's cheek, he wondered what Roxas would say about the situation, about the song. It hit him like a canon that Roxas didn't know about it at all, had no idea what the song meant at all. He didn't know about Axel's amazing running away ability, or anything. The redhead never told him. While Roxas answered each and every question that popped into his head, Axel never gave a straight answer or avoided the subject altogether.

It always felt like the thing to do, almost ignoring that he had a life two years prior. It was just easier that way and that way he didn't think about it too much. That way Roxas didn't know. He imagined how the boy would look at him. With pity? Embarrassment for him? What?

But he had to admit…it was douche-y of him to do that. Roxas deserved better than that. The next time the teen asked about it, Axel decided then, he would tell him. But not before, only if Roxas wanted to know. Only if he asked the right questions.

About three hours later, as Roxas rubbed at his eyes and yawned about twelve times and did a full body stretch, Axel, with a mad desire to get out of the small room, all but swept him out of the room. Roxas, squinting under the hot sun, didn't complain. They walked into a different part of town, pressing their noses to store windows, pointing at people and squatting down to examine a heart shaped rock on the sidewalk. Axel slipped it into the boy's pocket later.

By the time they plopped down on a wooden bench somewhere in the northern area of town Axel had nearly forgotten about the event in the car. 'Nearly' because things like that always stuck around for a few days, lurking around to jump out when things got quiet. Like now. It just literally snuck into his train of thought. One moment he was looking at the store in front of them, wondering if it was worth it to get up and then he saw a man walking in front of it, bobbing his head, white head phones stuck in his ears. He thought about that guy, wondered what he was listening to and then it snuck in like a little ninja and he could almost feel himself _halt_ his train of thought, taking a moment to push it away.

"Are you okay?" Roxas worried beside him; head on Axel's lap and feet dangling off the side of the bench. He only opened one eye and squinted it, the effect a comical grimace that made the redhead grin and softly chuckle. "You'rrrrrre kinda spacey today."

"Sorry, I… I just zoned out for a second," he lied and didn't know why he lied. "How was your, uh, night? Busy?"

"Nope," Roxas clicked his tongue. "I don't even know why we bother to stay up all night. I never get anyone. Ever."

"It's probably because you always glare at the cars going by. They get a bad vibe, Rox," Axel told him seriously. Roxas made a face at him. But it was true. The one full night Axel spent with him on his night shift Roxas stared down the passing cars, glowering when they passed by.

"Oh, shut up Axel. You don't know nothin'." Roxas sniffed. "I think it's 'cause of all the dye you've used. Inhaled a few too many fumes."

"Oh, let's not even talk about inhaling fumes, mister," the redhead said, raising an eyebrow at him. "'Cause you know you'll lose." And Roxas glared at him for that but let it fly by with a rolling of his eyes. He wasn't so sensitive anymore to comments like that and usually teased right back. The blond once told him that when Sora was told comments like that by people he didn't know he was quick to start a fight. He was glad Roxas was a lot more mellow than he other teen. Hmmm…Sora.

"So…uh, random, I know, but uhhh. You and Sora didn't really leave off on a good foot," he ventured slowly. "How do you think it's gonna be when you meet up again?"

Roxas opened both his eyes, blinking confused at the redhead above him. "You're right, that is pretty random. What brought that up?" Axel shrugged exaggeratingly, making Roxas laugh. "I dunno. I'm not sure how it'll be for awhile. I would like to call him, tell him I'm alright, tell him I'm happy, that I'm sorry and I forgive him and give him the chance to forgive me, or at least see if he will, ya know? That's all I want. If I could make that happen I'm sure everything would be alright." Roxas shrugged, awkward while lying down. "But what can I do? I can't. I'll deal with it when I have to deal with it."

And Axel nodded, because that sounded perfectly logical and proceeded to interrogate the boy about his asymmetrical hairdo, Roxas giggling, eyes twinkling below him.

Soon the sun was setting, the sky a pretty rainbow of colors that colored the town orange and pink and then a dark purple color as the light faded. "Ya know," the teen started as they walked toward his room. "I was thinking about what you said earlier. About Sora?" He bit his lip, blue eyes searching for green. "Do you think it'll be bad? When we see each other again? Do you think he'll be angry with me?"

It came out before Axel even really decided to say it. "He'll be happy you're home, Rox. He won't care about what happened." Then Axel grinned sheepishly, took his face into his hands, kissing his forehead. "Besides," he joked. "No one could be mad at you. You're an angel."

"I hope so," Roxas sighed. "Goodnight, Axel. I'll see you in the morning, right?"

"Of course. Do you even have to ask?" Axel grinned charmingly, leaning in for one more kiss. And then another. And another until Roxas laughed, pushing him away with a big smile. He had to get up early tomorrow for work. "Goodnight, Roxas. I'll see you in the morning." For a moment after Roxas smiled slyly and shut his door, Axel remained where he stood, pondering his own words.

He had that itch, that feeling deep in his bones.

Axel walked toward the car, taking out his keys, the metal cool and sharp under his fingers. Lucy was right where he left her, body dark and shiny in the diminishing light. He was glad there was a ray or two still left, he might need a little light. The door opened effortlessly but had a little squeak that made the man frown. He'd need to fix that next time he was around a gas station. As he sunk into the driver seat his hands immediately shot to the glove apartment, almost having to cleave it open. Several maps flopped out, one disappearing under the passenger seat. Axel was fairly certain that under the seat was a black hole so the map was long gone.

He'd need to get a new one.

But for now he ignored it, shoved around papers, registration and other important documents he'd need on the road. He took them out, flinging them on the seat to better look around the little alcove. He tsk-ed. No luck. He searched the sides of the seat, also getting his hand stuck and still nothing. He stepped out of the car, taking his key out of the door as he crossed to the back, muttering to himself. It was dark, the last rays of light leaving quickly. He had to squint to make out the general shapes of things, all but climbing in to get a better look at the collection of items he threw in there.

"I know it's here somewhere," he murmured, tossing aside an old extra large soda and an empty box of pizza. He really needed to clean this shit out before it started rotting and he had a real problem on his hands. The top layer held nothing for him, the redhead tossing it out as soon as he laid his hands on stuff, narrowing down his search one item at a time. He picked up a foam finger he didn't remember buying, looking at the poor condition of it, the large finger nearly falling before chucking it behind him.

"Ahhh!" he cried triumphantly, hand shooting for the glint of green metal he spotted out of the corner of his eyes, half hidden under the guitar case. It didn't look too good, body holding more scratches than he remembered it having. He supposed that maybe the phone wouldn't work, not being used in two years or that he wouldn't have coverage. (Oh god wouldn't that be a bitch? _Can ya hear me now?) _But to his surprise the welcoming tone greeted his ears, AXEL IS AWESOME displayed on the welcome screen before the normal background flickered on.

He paused, seeing the update of how many calls and messages he'd missed. He didn't look at them, pressing a button to make it go away. All of a sudden it didn't seem like a great idea, a pit in his stomach, so worries running through his head that he just wanted to throw the phone back in. Axel looked at the working phone; saw how many bars he had, and knew he had no sound reason not to do it. Only cowardice preventing him from going into his phone book and scrolling down until he found the name he wanted. And he was done from running, Axel decided, pressing the call button and putting the phone from his ear.

The first ring sounded so loud.

It made him freak out, heart jumping into his throat, pounding so hard. The knot in his stomach grew at the second ring and he contemplated just hanging up, forgetting it, forget everything, what he thought before be damned.

--

Demyx Peirce groaned, whining that when he was almost, _almost_, nodding off into sleep the annoying as fuck sound of an incoming call shook him out of it. Arms draped over his eyes he wondered if he should even answer it. It might a resilient fan that's gotten his number. God those chicks could be so annoying. And while the urge to just ignore it was really running strong at the moment, Demyx figured that they would call again and again if he didn't tell them to stop. And that would really end all hope he had of actually getting some sleep.

The little phone rang again, beam of light flashing from its screen and lighting up the room. "Alright, alright, already," Demyx told it while twisting around in the sheets, leaning over the side of the bed to snatch it up with barely open eyes. God he was so tired. But they made eighty bucks in tips alone tonight so he couldn't really complain. "Yeah? Hello? Who is it?" He grumbled, already back in bed with his eyes closed, prepared to tell the chick to beat it, nicely of course, but to beat it all the same. There was quiet breathing on the other line and Demyx frowned, annoyed.

"It's…It's Axel."

Demyx sputtered, lurching forward, eyes wide. "Axel?! Oh my god, Axel is that you?!" A quick glance at the screen showed the caller id AXEL and an old picture of him, more than two years old. "Ohmygod, Axel? Are you okay? What's-what's, I mean--" the young man cut himself off, running a hand through the long strip of hair he maintained, heart thumping hard. Axel. _Axel_. "How are you?"

"I…I'm good. I'm really good, Demyx." Axel laughed, light sounding on the other line.

The sound of his voice alone was making him tear up, the musician sniffling and wiping his eyes quickly. "Oh yeah? Thank god, Ax. You have no idea--I--it's really good to hear from you. I was really worried."

"…I know. I'm sorry, I, I'm sorry. But I'm happy where I am at least, so that's good right?" Axel chuckled but Demyx could hear it was mostly fake. "And, I just, I just wanted to tell you that. Let you know…."

"Thank you, Jesus fuck Ax," the faux-hawked man inhaled a deep breath, feeling lighter than he had in a long, long while. _"Where are you?_ I'll come get you right now. I'm still in Boston so it'll take awhile but, seriously man, where are you? What are you doing? Why didn't you fucking tell me you were leaving?! Where are you?" It was quiet on the other end and Demyx figured Axel was settling in to tell him the whole story, tell him to come pick him up 'cause he missed everyone and wanted to come home.

But the silent moment stretched, becoming minutes fast and when he looked back at the screen it was back to the original background. The call was over.

Axel hung up on him.

Fury coursed through him, fear riding on its back. "FUCK. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," he cursed, really shouting now. Axel, who was who knows where, gone for two years without a word, his best fucking friend since they were in diapers dammit, just hung up on him. He just fucking hung up on him. "GODDAMMIT," he swore, throwing the phone.

Footsteps rushed toward his room the light of the hallway illuminating everything, making the features of his bassist seeable. Marluxia look worried, and ridiculous, hair in pig tails and braids everywhere. Rikku must have been doing his hair. "What's going on?"

"First, you look ridiculous," he stated while frowning, finger pointing accusingly. "And second; it was Axel. Axel just called me."

"Axel?!" The bassist nearly shouted, eyes wide. "What? Where is he? Is he okay? What did he say?"

"He's fine. But I'm calling a fucking band meeting right now. Right fucking now. Go call Larx. BAND MEETING."

Marluxia sighed, mouth curving down in pure anxiety over the new information, stomach turning like it hadn't for two year. "Yeah, yeah, okay. BAND MEETING." Demyx ran a hand through his hair again, cursing Axel again and again and then thanking god he called. Two years, he thought solemnly. Two fucking years.

How long were they going to wait for their guitarist to come back home? They'd already waited so long…

* * *

Yeeeahhhh..... yeah. woot. awesome. ILU guys, without you SB never would have gotten this far, or been this long, sheesh. ha hah. I'm really proud.

Uhm, next chapter that's gonna be up is gonna be a SB, 'cause i did some math and--- well, whatever, nevermind, the next chappie is SB, up next monday.

Got a thought, click that green little button right down there. its really easy, and i don't mind even if you give one word messages. i think its awesome to hear from you guys. Have a good week!

OH BTW,I forgot to say last chapter but we crossed over the hundred page mark last chapter at 105, woot! uhm, happy 120 pages?


	11. Act Three, Scene One The Web Unfolds

Eh, It's monday somewhere in the world, right? Right. Happieeeee Reading, reader!

* * *

Summer Boy

There was something Demyx Peirce did when he was alone and lonely.

There was a beaten up old guitar case hidden in his closest and the fact that the scarred, nicked, written on and painted case was propped up so lovingly and with so much care made him smile wryly on good days. Today was not a good day. After explaining to his band mates and best friends every new detail he knew about Axel and listening to their distraught cries and angry outbursts he was ready to just crawl into a cave and stay there. Since he didn't even know where to find a cave, Demyx instead shoved around piles of laundry out of the way to lift the heavy case out.

There were days when all he wanted to do was break out the old guitar, sit on his bed and reminisce. Some days it was all he could do to just look at the thing, before latching it up and stowing it away again. Sometimes he couldn't even do that.

The guitar itself was…okay. Old, had a few scratches, a few nicks, just like everything he'd ever had. His bright yellow fender had a deep purple, and probably better well kept, twin somewhere out in the world, lost just like its owner. They'd gotten them together, he and Axel, pooling whatever allowances they got, spare change, and sometimes stolen ten from a mother's purse for nearly a year. They'd bought each of them for 150 at some flea market, along with the two throw-along cases for a whomping three dollars each.

It was one of the few things that Demyx hated and loved at the same time. Only the great memories and the fact that he would regret it kept him from throwing it out of his third story window. That and because it gave incomparable comfort to take it out and strum its strings, tightening here and there until it sounded crystal clear. It reminded him of the days he and Axel would spend hours practicing, fingers becoming calloused, becoming quick.

They spent so much in Demyx's parents' basement, forming ideas of being rock stars, being loved by screaming masses, freedom in the way everyone wished. Fourteen and stupid they thought it would come easy, so fucking easy. Make a song or two, play it once or twice and you were in.

Now that The Nocturnal Culpa was edging toward the legend they always talked about, Demyx almost didn't want it. It didn't feel right, not without Axel by his side.

Now, alone in his little bedroom, picking out the notes to one of their first songs, he wondered if it would ever be that way. Axel….he didn't seem to _want_ to come home. He didn't seem to miss him or anyone else. He didn't even ask about anyone. Demyx nearly missed a note he knew better than the back of his hand, a shiver of panic running up and down his spine. He said he was _happy_. It stung like nothing ever had that he didn't know what was going on in his friend's life, what was making him happy. Where was he? Who had he met? What had he seen? What new songs did he like? Did he even listen to music anymore? Did he play anymore? Was he still writing songs?

There were so many fucking things Demyx wanted, no, _needed_ to know.

He knew why Axel left, he could even guess why he didn't tell anyone before he skipped town. He could think of a good reason why he hadn't ever called home before. And why he hung up. But Demyx didn't care about those things anymore, only wanted to know his best friend again.

Demyx wondered if Axel ever thought the same about him, about Larxene and Mar or anyone else and wondered how things were, what changed, what hadn't.

It was funny, made the twenty-one year-old smile grimly to his instrument, because he kept wondering what color hair Axel had now, knowing he was prone to change it after anything remotely crazy happened. He wondered if it was still jet black.

--

"I cry at the moon and I scream at the sun. I keep losing everything and I never, ever won," Roxas sang in time to lyrics, voice much softer than deep baritone of the singer. It made Axel smile wryly, wondering how many he listened to this CD. From the way he talked about his favorite band Axel wouldn't be surprised if they were listened to more than a hundred times. _Each_.

"The sky doesn't give me answers, the stars just wink at me. Everyone waits and I hope I'm right. I wanna fly away like the birds but I'm too scared of heights. Ok, ok, Axel. I can't stand it anymore," Roxas told him as he reached over and turned down the volume all the way down. He fixed the driving man an impatient glare. "Where are we going? I know you said I couldn't ask but, Axel, the anticipation is eating me up!" He whined. "Tell me, pleeeeease."

Axel smiled widely at him, flicking him in the forehead. "No."

"Why not?"

"Because it'll ruin the surprise. And if I tell you you'll feel like you just cheated yourself out of the best moment in your life. Now do you wanna do that?" Roxas said nothing, glowering. "Thought so." Axel smirked a little to himself, internally cooing at Roxas's 'mad face'. Axel didn't remember ever being that gorgeous at sixteen. Even angry, Roxas was too angelic looking for the look to really register.

After Roxas sniffed and in spite turned the volume up to where they would have to scream at one another to talk, Axel turned into a beaten down path, venturing into the wild. For awhile Roxas beat down his curiosity with an iron fist, childishly refusing to give in. But as they went deeper and deeper still, passing a frickin' cactus!, and getting closer to what looked to be some red rock formations among many others.

And then Axel stopped.

Just rolled to end quietly, engine rumbling softly until the older man pushed up the brake and turned off the car. It was silent for awhile, Axel grinning happily to himself while Roxas tried to figure out on his own what was going on. He couldn't. "Now can I ask what we're doing?" He asked, bugging his eyes out at Axel.

Axel grinned, white teeth bared as it widened, crinkling his grass green eyes into slits. "Nope."

"Oh, come on! Are you kidding me?"

"I kid you not Roxas," Axel said seriously, a hint of amusement behind it though. "Get out."

The young man's eyes widened, a trace of hurt crossing his features followed by fury. "Are you fucking leaving me in the middle of the desert?! You piece a--"

"What the fuck Roxas?" Axel looked at him, puzzled and feeling a little bruise to his ego that Roxas would even think him capable of such a thing. He sent a 'wow, really' look to the blond before opening his own door, swiftly stepping out into the dried out earth. After a second of the teen blinking at the spot where he'd once sat Axel's head full of vibrant red hair dipped down and into the car. He didn't look mad. "Are ya comin' or what? Let's get this show on the road."

Roxas nearly fell on his face trying to get out the door, to follow Axel out. The redhead didn't notice, instead opening the squeaky trunk and pulling out two backpacks that Roxas had never seen before. Smiling, he handed one over to the boy who accepted it without thought, yelling out as it fell to the ground, much heavier than he thought it would be.

"What is in here? Rocks?"

Axel rolled his eyes. "Because I would really put rocks in a backpack." he slung the twin pack over his shoulder, giving the struggling boy a crooked smile. "Ya need some help with that?

"No," he huffed, glowering and put the heavy bag on his back, leaning forward under the weight. "Wheeeeere are weee goooooing?" he whined, eyes pleading for the information while he bobbled forward, trying to match Axel's long strides. The sun was hot above them, the air slightly dry. He could feel himself sweating already.

"You'll see," Axel stressed, pressing forward on with a smile. "Just follow me."

And follow Axel he did, grudgingly though, stomping behind loudly on the sandy ground. It seemed like they walked on forever, into the rough terrain of the desert land and into and around the high rising rocks They were more like mountains if you asked him, eyes wide at how high some of them got, trailing his fingers over the rough and bumpy texture as he passed. "Hey Axel?" The redhead momentarily paused from leading the way to glance back at him. "How do these get made?"

"The sandstone?" Axel lifted an eyebrow, regarding the rugged surface before him that climbed up into the sky. They were in a sort of cavern of red sandstone, literally surrounded by it while he followed the beat out trail. The heavy bag made a healthy thump as it fell to the ground, Axel dropping to his knees a second later, peeling the zipper down with a zrrrrrrrip. He bumbled around it contents, eyeing Roxas warily as he tried to peer in. He turned himself and the bag around so the teen couldn't see in; exclaiming as he found what he was looking for.

The traveler held up an advertising packet triumphantly and Roxas held back the desire to roll his eyes. Axel was obsessed with them, spent nearly an hour at the visitor center looking through them indecisively, agonizing over which on to pick. Roxas just saw one and picked it, hardly glancing over it before he was walking out proclaiming he found the next Adventure.

Axel was no blasé about it. "This," he announced seriously. "Has all of your answers." he bugged his glass green eyes out at his adventuring companion. Roxas snorted, now fully rolling his eyes. "You want it?" He held it out temptingly, shaking it a bit. "Huh? Huh? You want it?"

"Why would I want it when you could just tell me?" He sighed loudly, like it was so obvious and such a pain to even say it aloud, but the small smile gave him away. He was always in a good mood around Axel, despite what his face might look like.

The couching man mimicked him, babbling, with amused narrowed eyes. He huffed, and then opened the brochure with long fingers as Roxas flopped to the hard ground. "Sandstone And How It Is Made. Sandstone forms where sand is laid down and blah, blah, blah…. Uhmm," he muttered, reading the writing lightning quick, brow furring as he slightly mouthed the words, trying to put them into simpler sentences. "Uhhh. I think it says that the sand… builds up and gets squeezed together? Oh, I don't know," he grumbled, shoving the packet back in violently before coming back to smile at the blond personably.

"C'mon, slacker, you're wasting daylight."

"I'm wasting daylight? You're the one who stopped!"

"Yeah, well you made me stop with your little questions. Trying to distract me I think."

"And what would I be distracting you from, exactly," Roxas questioned tactfully, innocently blinking at him. Axel wagged his finger side to side. "Nuh, uh," he said. "I don't think so, mister. Gonna have to be smoother than to pull a fast one on me." He tapped his head. "Got it? Now, c'mon pipsqueak. We'll be there soon so shut your yap for ten minutes, ok? Ok."

Roxas glared playfully at him, jogging as fast as he could comfortably with the pack bouncing in his back to catch up with the leading man. Since he had no idea where they were going and Axel wasn't giving him any clues and everything looked the same, Roxas figured that they were going in circles. He stared suspiciously at an assortment of piled rocks he swore they passed before, following closely behind the redhead as to not be separated. He stole a little glance Axel's way. At least the older man _looked_ like he knew where they were going. ….Or maybe that was just the general confidence he always had, little smile on his face like he knew something you didn't.

He paled at the thought, looking around trying to remember and distinguish one rock from the other, differentiate the tall walls of the sandstone for _just in case_.

"Hey, hey, hey," Axel singsong, turned to look back at his reluctant follower. "Almost there? You excited, huh? HUH? Seriously, I'm curious, Rox. What do you think it is?"

Mouth in a fine line he said, bluntly. "You're going to get us lost and we're gonna starve to death and you'll eat me 'cause I got meat on me, unlike your boney self."

"I would never _eat you_, Roxas, I--" he broke off, face dropping at the sight of the younger boy's feral grin.

"You sure?" He giggled, eyebrows waggling. "You seemed pretty eager last night."

"SHUT UP," Axel shouted, face burning as he turned around and stomped forward, walking fast toward an opening in the maze they'd been walking through. The sliver of blue sky stretched, growing larger and finally becoming all encompassing as he stepped through, letting out a surprised 'ah!'. Axel shuffled his feet to his right, toe of one of his shoes digging into the dry dirt.

They must have been two hundred feet in the air, the high peninsula Axel led them through and up cutting off sharply and steep.

No wonder sometimes Roxas thought they were heading up hill, 'cause they _were_.

Before him he could see the fuzzy layout of the town, little oasis in the rocky surroundings, roads like little veins leading into the heart. He also saw the surroundings, tall red rock mountains and sprawling hills and dips, the trees that somehow actually survived in the area, blurring together in a deep green. It was like he could see for miles, see forever on, see the other side of the earth. A clinking and shuffling brought him out of the daze and he found a exotic print blanket laid out on the bare ground, Axel's back to him as he reached deep inside the back pack he was carrying and bringing out juices and waters to fill, apparently, the totally inappropriate wine glasses.

But the juxtaposition of the fancy glasses and cheap blanket and what looked like grape juice had Axel written all over it. Roxas smiled, butterflies swarming in his stomach. They were on a _date_. If he wasn't blushing already, he was sure his face just turned beet red.

A date. A _date_. He'd never been on a legitimate date with someone he actually liked.

He was so excited.

And so was Axel by the look of it, pointedly not making eye contact but the smile on his face was almost maniacal, almost cutting his face into two. If Roxas was close enough he could have saw the pink on his cheeks too and if he checked would have saw for himself how fast his pulse was.

They just sat/stood there like dorks, big smiles on their faces and sneaking shy glances at each other, nervous laughter following whenever they were caught.

"Do--do you, uh, wanna sit down?" Axel had to clear his throat, had to almost force himself to say something, hopeful eyes staring up at the other, biting down on his bottom lip a litter harder than need be.

"DUH," was what Roxas had to say to that, sputtering it out a little more loudly than what was needed. Legs on fire, he traveled the distance fast, flopping down crossed legged and accepting the fragile glass of dark liquid, smiling down at it tickled pink and taking a sip. Meanwhile Axel fiddled with his own drink, eyes downcast. After the blond swallowed enough to calm his nerves and looked at the redhead expectantly, he groaned, placing his face in his hands.

"Auuuughhhh, this is so _stupid_ isn't it?!" One green eye peaked out of the fallen strands of chemical red hair. "I'm sorry, this was supposed to be cool and romantic but….god, this is really stupid isn't it? I--"

"Shut up, Axel. You're ruining it," Roxas told him, serious.

"Buut--"

"No. Be quiet. I love it. You brought grape juice!" He pushed the glass in front the redhead's face, smile of wonderment on his face. "Freakin' grape juice. That's so awesome Axel. What's in my bag?" He questioned, unzipping the back pack he threw off when he sat. He held down a squeal as he saw the miniature wicker basket, beaming down at it before turning to the flushing man and beaming at him. "A picnic," he said. "You planned a picnic! With a view!" He opened his mouth to say more but all that came out was lame beginnings of words and soft sighs.

Axel fiddled more with his cup, looking at it like it was a magic mirror and would tell him what to say next. Mirror, mirror on the wall, how do I please the cutest boy of them all? "Well, yeah," he shrugged uncertainly. "It's kinds corny but, uh, I dunno. I kinda thought--Whoa, what are you doing?" He asked, eyeing the skin that was revealed as the teen started taking off his shirt.

"You fucking planned a picnic for us Axel! We are having sex. I wanna have sex with you," he said bluntly, blinded for a second as he lifted his blue and white wife beater over his head. He frowned; looking at Axel's stunned face, still holding the glass of non alcoholic drink. "That didn't come out sexy at all… Um, I," he fumbled for the right words. "No one's ever done anything like this for me before. No one. And I know you don't even expect this," he pointed to his naked chest. "in return for that. But jeez oh flip stuff like this that you do just makes me want to give it to you."

"But Roxas--" Axel tried to intervene, eyes looking trouble. But Roxas held up a hand.

"I know. 'Love is sex and sex isn't love'. I know Axel. But I want you for all the right reasons Axel. I'm not gonna regret this like all the others. I'm not. You're the only one who's ever been hesitant too. And I think that speaks magnitudes. I want you," he sighed, blue eyes seeking green. "I want you."

Axel would have been lying if he didn't want him too. So he didn't say anything to deter the boy from shimmying off his dark cargo pants, watching as they slid down to his ankles and Roxas stood, nervous, until he dragged the delicious looking youth back down to him.

Just like the first time Axel was slow, nearly teasing. Roxas shivered under his spidery fingers, Goosebumps rising despite the heat. He spent entirely too much time everywhere, kissing from his stomach to his chest too slowly. Eliciting a groan from the writhing blond as his nipples were teased, whining under the assault of his teeth and tongue. Axel didn't even start messing with his own clothes until Roxas was half lidded and breathing hard, erection taunt free, underwear slipped off what seemed to be an eternity ago.

Breathless, he helped with Axel's belt, fingers trembling a bit with anticipation as he helped him get out of those atrocious khaki shorts and back above him, skin brushing skin. Axel felt strong and lithe under his fingers, firm, solid, real. Roxas could feel both of their erections brush together and gasped, groaning. Axel was breathing hard by his ear, pressing kisses to his neck and under his throat.

"Are you sure, Roxas?" He breathed, deep murmur the other boy almost didn't hear. Of course he was fucking sure, clutching a handful of red hair and throwing his other arm over his shoulder in an embrace, jerking up to meet him again. They both moaned, Axel burying his face into the little spot where the blonde's shoulder met his neck, hissing and pressing forward, doing it again.

"Nggh, ahh, ahh," Roxas breathed, digging his nails into Axel's back. Oh, _fuck_. "H-hey, Ax--Axel. Hurry up," he begged, maneuvering it so one of his legs were wrapped around Axel's. He felt Axel's breathy laughter hit his chest, handsome angular face lifting up and smiling lazily at him, green eyes slightly glazed over.

"No," he laughed, kissing up his jaw while Roxas whined. "Just wait." The teen let out miffed mutterings, most incoherent as Axel descended down, tongue swirling patterns over his skin. His cock twitched as Axel's neared the area and he almost felt like crying when Axel's tongue slipped out and licked his head. "Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, _fuck_, Axel."

Axel, the jerk, laughed, kissing down his length and licking slowly all the way back up. Roxas jerked his hips, wanting better friction, fists tightening around wads of woolen blanket. But Axel was Axel and no amount of pleading or threats could ever make him change the way he went about things and even though it was excruciating Roxas loved it all the more. The redhead planted soft kisses to his tip, tongue extending before he took it full into his mouth, watching as Roxas's head flew backwards with a soundless gasp.

The blond was in such wonderland that he hardly noticed when Axel let go, wetting his own fingers and cursing himself for not bringing any lube. But his head did snap up when he felt the pressure, fingers pressed into the tight ring of muscle, little lubricant they did have letting one of Axel's thin fingers pass. Roxas bit on his knuckle to stifle a cry. He was tight but instead of focusing on the intrusion he concentrated on relaxing, trying to make it easier for himself. His hands were holding onto the blanket so tight his fists were white, knuckle between his teeth hurting.

"Are you okay?" Axel asked while stretching him and Roxas would have laughed if it were any different.

"I-I'm f-fine. Keep going."

The redhead leaned forward to kiss him on the forehead, a second finger entering and slowly moving out and in again. Both of them were panting, sweating under the sun and the heat they made from just being around each other. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to do this under the sun in ninety degree weather, Roxas wildly thought, wincing, they could get heat stro-- "Oh, shit! Augh, fuuuuuck," Roxas breath, head dropping back in a moment of ecstasy as Axel's fingers brushed his prostate. "Right there, r-right there." Axel nodded, nibbling on his neck while the teen's legs trembled, cock twitching, murmuring incoherently into the crook of Axel's neck.

And when Axel took out his fingers and looked into Roxas's eyes, questioning, asking yet again, Roxas just kissed him, pulling him closer.

He gasped when the man's hard member pressed against his entrance, muscle giving out much like earlier, biting his lip and squeezing his eyes tight, fists even tighter, fighting a urge to cry out. But unlike a few too many other's who'd been with him, Axel stopped to look up at him, attentive to all of his twitches. "Does it hurt?"

"Y-yes," Roxas choked out, wincing as he got used to feeling again.

"Do you wanna stop?"

"No. Ahh, shit. Just, just gimmie a second." Roxas breathed, teeth and jaw clenched tightly together. It felt like hours before he nodded again, giving the okay, Axel kissing his forehead as he drew out, hissing to himself while Roxas bit back another whimper. It seemed like Axel was enjoying this way more than he was. Even going slowly to accommodate the other his eyes were closed, little breathy groans coming out of his open mouth every once in awhile. Pain was reining over whatever pleasure he could be getting, before pain over pleasure was less painful, more like a faint throb down there, Axel licking at his nipples and biting, leaving him love bites to look at later.

"Ahhh, Roxassss," the redhead hissed, thrusting in as smoothly as he could for the younger boy. Roxas whined, hesitantly jerking back to meet him. Axel groaned louder at his test, pushing his hips forward, harder, colliding with Roxas in a quiet _slap_. They both panted, Axel breathing into his ear, murmuring sweet words, while Roxas tugged hard on his red spikes. "Mmmn, Axel!"

Axel thrust into him harder, pace quickening and moaning; _Roxas, Roxas, Roxas _as said boy panted, gasping in ecstasy when Axel hit the spot inside him that made his vision spot, made him moan loudly. "There, there. Do that again…" Roxas gasped, back arching and thrusting back in time with Axel.

The blue sky spread out into forever when Roxas opened his eyes, the fact that they were having sex (sex with Axel! Just that thought alone made him moan with want) outside causing his cock to weep, excitement fluttering in his stomach and clenching deliciously. He clutched Axel to him, moaning in time with each thrust, mind wild, skin shivering in response to Axel's trailing fingers. When he came, he thought he saw stars, black skies and white dots, afterwards, breathless and sweaty, Axel grinning satisfied next to him, wondered if he really did.

He forgot the thought soon after, cuddling up to what could only be called his lover and giggled like a girl, butterflies flapping their fragile wings in his stomach again. They both laughed, grinning at each other with a twinkle in their eyes, a new smile on their faces. Roxas sipped at the fancy wineglass, head on Axel's shoulder, still naked along with the redhead who he know saw was a natural brunette, staring out at the miles and miles of open land before them, wowed before and now wowed again.

Roxas was more than sure he would never be able to forget this, didn't even want to comprehend even the dulling of the memory. His body pressed against Axel's; this was perfect, this was paradise, heaven. And he didn't want it to end.

--

The day Axel told Roxas nearly everything was like every other. Blue skies, a few puffy clouds lazily drifting in the wind, usual heat. Roxas had work that morning, so Axel walked around town by himself until he assumed there was no way Roxas was still working. He paced a quaint little ice cream shop, children coming out with melted ice cream in their hands and sticky residue all over their faces. Axel beamed, walking a tad faster, knowing what he wanted to do that day.

Roxas laughed, ordering a double scoop of chocolate while Axel picked mint and promptly devoured it, slurping and sucking and licking until the cone was _gone. _His face, just like Axel predicted, was covered in light brown chocolate.

After they finished their cones and licked the remnants of each other's faces, he and Roxas walked home, fingers touching, and little sparks erupted in his stomach when they did, twining together shyly. They walked together like that; comfortably quiet in each other presence. Axel couldn't remember ever being so content to just _hold hands_, with someone. He liked it this way, or maybe he just liked Roxas, whatever.

Laughing for no reason while the teen fumbled with his door key, Axel spotted a family leaving one of their rooms, three children all but sprinting out and running around while the mother scolded them softly and father laughed fondly. The coolly dressed family in flip-flops walked down the street, parents holding each other hands and the hands of their children in a little line, laughing. A cold prickly feeling went up his spine, seeing them so happy. Roxas softly exclaimed as he found the right key and pushed the door open, walking through easily.

The redhead lingered, watching the family of five disappear down the street with solemn eyes before shutting the door behind him. He addressed the blond who was having trouble with his shoes. "Hey, Rox…. What kind of family do you wanna have?"

"What kind of family do I want? I can't, you dumbass," Roxas laughed and didn't feel bitter at all, throwing one shoe off. "Gay, remember?"

"You know what I mean, smartass."

"Hmmm, well let's see," the blond soon-to-be Junior mimed difficult thought, now shoeless and laying back on his newly cleaned sheets. The bed dipped down as Axel approached him, lying down too. "A good one. One that isn't broken. One that hasn't been torn apart. A good family where everyone stays together. A real family," he added, getting serious now.

"…What was it like? I mean, the divorce and stuff." Roxas could feel the man scoot closer, his breath on the back of his neck, replaced with his forehead pressing against his back. The almost wanted to laugh at the question, its answer so obvious to him. But Axel never went through divorce, didn't know at all what it was like.

"What do you mean what was it like? It sucked. My parents weren't together anymore; my dad was like ten states away. It was terrible," he sighed, admitting things he'd never really talked about before. "I mean, it got better, but, I don't know. Everything changed. My mom, my dad, me. It was so weird, going back and forth for awhile, not really knowing which to call home. I was really mad at my mom when I got older. I thought she caused everything. I blamed her."

"Do you still?" the other man asked hesitantly, breathing in Roxas's slightly sweaty smell, hoping his question weren't stupid, or making the teen angry. Roxas was quiet for awhile looking at the abstract design on his covers intently, thinking.

"…..Maybe…I don't know. You can't--I mean-- I shouldn't. It just--sometimes you just fall out of love, you know? And you can't blame that. You shouldn't. It just really sucked because I was in the crosshairs, I was in the middle. I didn't really get why everything that was going on was going on. It was…so weird. It sucks, that's all I can say. It really, really, sucks," Roxas stated bitterly, remembering how strange it was all the time, only able to talk to his Dad through the _phone_ most the time.

"Well…Why don't you try to make it… not suck?"

Roxas laughed, hard, in a not-funny-at-all kind of way. "And how do I do that? Gives me a way to make things better, Axel, and I'll do it in a heartbeat." He said it bitterly, sarcastic in a way that was all too easy for him.

Axel felt his brows come together, mouth drop off into a frown at the blonde's angry tone. "Well, for one you should stop being such a little shit. Sometimes you just need to grow up a little, Rox." Roxas huffed and probably rolled his eyes, though Axel couldn't see. "…Your mom loves you. And so does your Dad. You're so lucky, even with them separated you're so damn lucky. You might have all jumbled up thoughts and feeling but they still love you and they will always look at you like you're their _baby boy_. Don't forget that, and never ever take it for granted," Axel said, emotionally charged, letting his feelings take over his mouth and say things he wasn't sure he wanted to say now that it was actually happening. He twisted so he could look down at the blond haired teen, see his face. Under him, Roxas wouldn't meet his eyes, curled on his side and talking more to the bed than him, eyes distant but hard, frustrated.

The blond sighed and with it came a jumble of things he'd never really acknowledged aloud. "I know, I know. It's just… "He fumbled around his words, mouth not bale to keep up with his head. "I just. After it's been so weird for so long it gets harder and harder to try to fix things. I tell myself I'll do it next time and then later say it again. And then a year has passed and then two. And then three. And before you know it your dad is a stranger and your mother is a bother, a pain in the ass when she just tries to talk to you. And I just don't want to care. It's easier not to try…."

Axel stared hard and long at the boy, the kid he felt so strongly about, understanding his thought better than he thought would as they were sort of what he felt during long drives in the middle of the night. He saw the obvious answer to everything and wondering if it really was that simple. He let out a frustrated sigh. "But that's _why_ it's so weird, you said so yourself. It's an endless cycle. You have to stop it _yourself_." It sounded so easy, so simple.

Roxas just looked more fragile at his words, vulnerable, and his words were sad, desolate murmurs. "I just don't want to care so that when they look at me like I'm a fuck up I won't care at all. It won't hurt."

Above him, Axel felt himself burn a bit, frustrated by the teen's shaky logic. "Roxas, I… You are _so lucky _for what you already got. Don't make it bad for yourself. I would kill for what you have, even if it's a little broken, even if there's tension, even if it's not perfect. Jesus Christ I want what you got so bad…."

When Roxas peeked a look at him, he saw grass green eyes were narrowed down at him, mouth twisting into an upset scowl. He looked like he really meant it. After a moment Roxas realized that he was treading on new waters, that Axel was speaking from experience, from knowledge. He was talking about his past, his life. Roxas felt a heaviness settle in his heart when he replayed Axel's words. "……Why?"

"My parents…" Axel laughed bitterly, smile more a hard line as his hard eyes held Roxas's soft, wide blue ones. "My parents don't give a _shit_ about me. They never did. They make yours look like fuckin' _saints_. I wasn't wanted. And my mother made that clear. Not verbally, in fact she hardly ever said a word to me," he laughed again, a not-funny laugh that Roxas really hated.

"It was just…the way she _looked_ at me. It was like she wished I didn't exist. I don't even think my Dad knows what I look like. I was raised by the help, Roxas," he said somberly, just as bitter and angry as Roxas was just a moment ago or maybe much more so. "I called my nanny 'mom' most of the time. You don't know how good you got it. Your mother _loves_ you," he stressed. "Enough to try to help you, try to do what's best for you. Hell that fact that she even calls you makes her a saint in my book. Mother Teresa. You have no idea how good you got it…." Axel trailed off, gaze averted.

"I'm so sorry," Roxas whispered, eyes wide. "I didn't know. All this time I've been complaining over nothing, acting like a child, while you--you're," he stumbled around his words, not really knowing what to say, thinking _damn that fucking sucks. _Maybe he didn't have the perfect relationship with his parents but at least they _cared_. "I'm so sorry Axel. I didn't know."

Suddenly embarrassed and feeling naked under the teen's eyes, the older man sat up, scratching at his arm absently. "Yeah, well, I didn't say nothin', so…. You couldn't have."

"…Why didn't you tell me?"

Axel was quiet, staring intently at his elbow while Roxas stared holes into him. He couldn't look at the boy's face. "I…I didn't want you to know. I didn't…I didn't want you to see me as someone who was basically, ya know, thrown away. I only wanted you to know me as me… when you look at me," he asked, finally looking the blond in the eye. "What do you see?"

What did he see? After spending nearly every second with him, what did Roxas see?

"One of the most… interesting people I've ever met," he said in halting speech. "Extremely kind and caring. Sexy and completely lovable. The only person I know who…who would pick a pebble of the ground and say it was gift, steal a street sign and would hold me until I fell asleep. I just see _you_, with your big feet and ridiculous hair, and tattoos. Just you. I don't give a shit about your parents," he stated, blue eyes firm as he reached for Axel's much larger hand. "They can go fuck themselves for being such fuckheads. I don't care. I just care about you. But your past is your past. It's made you the person who steals street signs," Roxas softly laughed. "Would we have met any other way?"

"No… We wouldn't have…… We really would have never met," Axel said softly, looking down at their hands with a sense of déjà vu.

Roxas cocked his head, sensing there was something lurking beneath his words and asked questions he felt should finally be asked. "What _happened_, Axel? Why have you been driving all over the country? Why did you leave Boston? What happened?"

Axel breathed in a sharp breath of air, knowing that he couldn't back out know. If he was going to tell anyone this, he thought, he would want it to be Roxas, he was glad it was Roxas. "My parents…They're something else. I've always dealt with them, their coldness, and their disinterest with me. Sometimes I felt like I would rather get hit…just so they would touch me. Every time I was in the same room as them I lost all the confidence I had, all my self worth just plummeted. It was always like that. So much so that I never wanted to go home. But I always did and it was even worse.

"You know that phrase?" He asked the blond with a tilt of his head, smile so broken. "Something like, distance makes the heart grow fonder? Well it was the opposite. Whenever I was away I realized how shitty a hand I was dealt, how everyone had it better than me in a way. My friends had parents who loved them, listened to them, supported them. My parents gave me a check and called that parenting. Every time I saw them I was just reminded of why I left in the first place…"

Even though Roxas had never seen Axel's parents, didn't know their names or faces, he hated them. He hated them so fucking much. He didn't even know them and he hated them, Axel must have despised them. Why would he ever go back to that? Roxas would have run away. "Why did you ever go back?"

"Why do kids do anything? You're friend Sora; he has it like I do. I wanted to get some attention, thinking maybe they'd notice I was gone and actually care. Nothing. They were hardly home themselves. I always tried to get attention from them, from being good to being bad. I just wanted them to actually notice me. Demyx always told me I should stop caring. That it wasn't worth the time and effort. But I still did. I always thought they would come around, you know?" He laughed without mirth, shaking his head. "I was so fucking stupid."

"About two years ago, I came home one day. My mom was standing by the door with several suitcases of luggage, looking impatient, tapping her Prada shoes. If I had come in ten minutes later I would have missed them. I never would have known…" he mused. "I never know whether it was a good or bad thing I turned up when I did.

"It took her a moment to realize who I was. Can you believe it Roxas?" he asked incredulously. "My own mother forgot who I was. She didn't even get my name right. She called me _Alex_. I never felt like such a piece of _shit_ in my entire life. Just so…So worthless. She said they were leaving the country, going to go live in England like they always wanted. And just left….how do you just leave, without telling your own kid? I don't understand, even now. It was just so heartless. So cold. I'm her child, shouldn't I be given a little heads up?!"

"But I wasn't…and they left. I couldn't deal; I just wanted to get away for a little while….

Axel remembered it with great detail. He was driving Lucy, top up, music off, down a highway, thinking that he should turn right soon, that he needed to turn right, but he saw a blue sign for New York and instead continued on and eventually turned left. It didn't feel like anything happened. Just blank. But it felt good on some level, as the miles grew larger and larger, to get away from Boston and essentially his life. His parents left, he could leave too. He didn't think about anything and just concentrated on getting somewhere, maybe someplace better.

"I just never stopped….." he said, staring down at their touching fingers. "I forgot about everything for a little while and I never wanted to remember. Before I knew it I was chasing that feeling and a year had passed so easily. One day…" Axel bit his lip, remembering. "One day I had to stop and get some gas. I didn't even know what month it was. I went in to pay and realized it was May and I was a year older, everyone I knew was a year older. An entire year had passed. I remembered digging out an old map, one that would bring me back home thinking _holy shit_, you know?" He smiled at Roxas, the blond smiling softly back, head thinking _fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. _

"But then I thought about it, an entire year had passed. While I was off drifting from place to place life went on. They weren't just waiting around for me to come back. They didn't put their lives on hold for me. I wondered what had changed. If my friends were okay, that same old people or if they got married, had a kid, had a family, left Boston altogether. I wondered if people moved, had new girlfriends, if my favorite places to go were still standing.

"And I kept thinking about that… and I moved onto the next town. I didn't know how to deal with that shit, you know?" he asked, begged for affirmation, wanted to be understood in a moment that wasn't his proudest. "I couldn't deal with that…so I kept moving. I don't know. I think I was looking for somewhere call home again, since I couldn't go back to Boston…"

"And that led you here…" Roxas finished for him, leaning forward to rest his head on Axel's chest. "To Sedona. To me."

"Yeah…Yeah it did."

They were quiet, neither knowing what to say now that Axel's life was hanging in the air.

"And," Roxas started suddenly. "If I--if I didn't do the things that I did…I wouldn't have ever come to Sedona anyway. We would have totally missed each other. This might to have happened at all. Wow," he stated, looking up into Axel's eyes and tracing his thumb over his triangular tattoos. "We would have never met. Huh."

They stared at each other, memorizing the face they might have never met if shit hadn't hit the fan, knowing their meeting was a chance of fate or just random luck. Roxas blinked, stunned when Axel's lips pushed solidly against his, tongue brushing against his for a second, before closing his eyes eagerly responding.

They might have never met, might have continued on slowly destroying themselves at they rate they were both going if one or the other had just a little smoother life, if their individual roads weren't so bumpy. For once in life, pain and mistakes led way to something good, something where the hole in their heart got filled up, completed, fixed.

Funny thing, fate.

--

As Roxas went through his ordinary routine of folding, washing, scrubbing the hell out of every surface of the rooms, he couldn't stop think about Axel, what he said. And he kept thinking back to all the times he'd mess up and do something stupid and get out of paying the punishment. The thought about all the times he was a 'little shit' to his mother and how he never apologized at all. It was terrible. He really was making it worse when it was already bad to being with.

After he cleaned up a room, leaving it spotless and shining, Roxas left his cart in front of his next room, ditching it in favor of pushing quarters into the pay phone, dialing a number he knew well. He paused, listening it ring while he picked at some flaking paint on the side of the motel. It clicked loudly as it was picked up. "Hey, mom."

"_Hey, honey! How are you? What's up?" _What a pleasant surprise she cheered inwardly. She hadn't been expecting him to call today, was glued to the television all day for the Law & Order Marathon. She would have missed his call had she not gotten up to get a bowl of ice cream.

"Oh, you, know….Same old same old, I guess…." He replied slowly; thinking of all that had happened recently. But she would really flip if she heard about it all so he kept to himself. Time to get to business. "Hey…um, mom. I just….I just wanted to call and, uh, I don't know. Tell you thank you?"

Daisy paused, spoon halfway up to her lips, phone rested in-between her shoulder and ear. What was this? Roxas…actually saying thank you? When was the last time that happened? _"…For what?"_

"Everything?" Roxas laughed into the receiver, holding it close with both his hands and looking up at the bright sky overhead. "Just for everything, mom. I just…I'm so sorry for the way I've acted this past year. I'm so sorry I caused you grief. I just…I just wanted to do what I thought I should do. I'm sorry it caused all of this to happen…." he trailed off, remembering every little thing he did that led to all this happening. "I'm sorry I haven't been a better son. I know that it's been hard for you too…and I'm sorry for ignoring that and making it even worse. I'm sorry, mom. I didn't mean to."

"_Oh, honey," _Daisy sighed on the other line, pulling out a chair at the counter and sitting down. _"It's nothing. I--"_

"No, mom. It IS something. I shouldn't have been such a shit to you, I shouldn't have lied to you and done everything you told me not to. I should have listened to you the first time you told me. I'm sorry I didn't listen and I'm sorry I worried you all the time. I'm sorry I have bad taste in friends and don't know what's good for me. But I know that now Nom, so you can stop worrying now. I know I fucked up. I know I did things wrong. I know I did things I shouldn't have. I just--I'm sorry okay? I won't do it again. I know I could really get hurt next time.

"I'm so sorry, mom. For everything. And thank you for not giving up on me. You won't regret it I promise…"

"_I…I…know baby. I know. I always knew you would realize….I'm so glad, Roxas, you have no idea," _she was laughing on the other line and Roxas could envision her smiling through her own tears. _"I'm so happy to hear you say that, you have no idea."_

"Well, "he started abruptly, now a little nervous after his big speech. "I have to get to work, now. I just wanted to call and tell you that. I love you Mom," he said, genuine.

"_I love you too, Roxas. I'll talk to you soon, okay?"_

"Okay. Goodbye."

"_Good bye darling, have a great day."_

--

The door bells jingled as Roxas pushed it open, laughing at some stupid joke Axel was telling. "You're such an idiot," he said, rolling his eyes.

Axel followed him loudly, smacking on his gum obnoxiously on purpose. "Oh, come on. Don't tell me you

"The meaning of life? I don't know. I'm just some kid; I don't have the curiosity nor the amount of weed to make me really contemplate it. Ask the Buddha," he picked up a little golden Buddha, stomach fat and head bald, face laughing like he was told the funniest joke in the world.

"I think the Buddha is the meaning to life," Axel mused. "Eat well, laugh hard and spread the looove."

"Your life's mission huh Roxas laughed. "Shoulda known. You meet other boys in little towns and try to woo them too?"

"I don't try," Axel smirked, throwing his arm around Roxas's shoulders and dipping in to kiss his reddening cheek. "I _do_."

"Heh, I wonder what the Buddha would say about that…"

"Congratulate us of course. Homophobia goes against spreading the love, you know. But in all serious-ness. Yeah I do think that's kind of the secret to life, to happiness."

"What? That we eat ourselves silly everyday every night?"

"Whatever makes you happy. That's what I've always thought, ya know? Whatever makes you happy is the way to go. Whether that's chicks or dicks," Roxas punched his arm, sending him a small glare. "As long as you don't _hurt anyone_," he eyed Roxas with a hard gaze, rubbing his shoulder. "You're good."

"All you need is love," Roxas laughed, ducking down to look as some bonsai trees.

"Very good. Beatles knew their shit. All I know about love and loss I get from Beatles anthologies. Listen to them after you get your heart broken, it's so much easier to get. But yeah, I think life is needed for love and love is needed for life. The whole cycle thing you know."

"You believe in fate?"

"I think I do…its hard not too. Its easer than thinking everything's just chance and chaos. I dunno, I actually think the chaos thing is a pretty cool idea though…" Axel trailed off, trailing his hand through wind chimes. "The fact that everything happens by chance…" his eyes drifted toward Roxas who was gently caressing a tiny leaf of the tree, smile of wonder on his face. "…Or by luck."

"Well, regardless," Roxas mused absently. "What happens, happens. By the time you pick a reason for why something has happened, years have passed," he turned his head to face the looming redhead. "Sometimes you just have to accept and move on to bigger things."

Wordless, Axel considered the crouching boy for a few more moments, feigning interest in bamboo trees to cover up his thoughtful expression. When he couldn't really think of anything to say to that, the slight feeling that Roxas might have been talking about him running through his head, he said, a laugh in his voice, "And I thought you weren't deep."

"I said I didn't know the answer to the universe, not that I wasn't deep," Roxas replied, catty smile in place. He lifted up the small Buddha in his hand. "I'm gonna go pay for this, okay? Maybe it'll give me the answer in my dreams."

"Then maybe, you know, once you find out you could tell me. I think I'd like to be in on the big secret."

The teen smirked. "Perhaps. It'll be more fun to watch you beg for the answer though. Much, much more fun." Axel tsk-ed, glowering slightly at the younger boy who just laughed, swatting his arm playfully and walking away, shaking his head. "Oh, come on, Axel. You'd be the first person I'd tell."

---

Roxas told himself it should not be this awkward, fidgeting over a laminated menu in an old diner with his own father. Bit he just…he couldn't think of anything to say, no witty conversation starters coming to mind other than 'so what do you think you're gonna get?' and he'd already used that. Sitting on the lumpy booth of the sleepy restaurant, his father staring down at the menu with a frown in-between his eyebrows, Roxas fiddled with the paper napkin and wondered what to say.

Thankfully he didn't have to think long, Donald beating him to the punch. "So…Tell me, what have you seen around town? What's your favorite place?"

This was easy conversation, simple, Roxas knew the answers well. "I really like the area around the big fountain? It's really cool. I spend a lot of time looking in those antique stores and really just people watch." _I also really like spending time in Axel's car, watching the sun go down, music playing softly_, also came to mind, but he omitted it.

Don looked up curiously. "People watch? Ha-ha, what's that?"

"It's uh, it when you just, I dunno, get a drink and sit at one of the benches around town and just… people watch. You see a bunch of character," Roxas laughed, remembering quite a few who stood out. 'People watching' was one of Axel's favorite things to do.

His father chuckled, shaking his head. "I'm sure you look like quite the character too…

Roxas shrugged, flushing a bit. "Yeah, I suppose…." The conversation died out, nerve wracking silence coming over the booth, only saved by their perky waitress coming to take their order. There was hardly any crowd and the food was made quickly already so the wait was miniscule, hot burger sitting across from them in no time at all. The teen noticed with a hint of amusement that they ordered the same thing, even down to no onion.

The evening went quick, even with Roxas not contributing much. He mostly listened to his Dad talk about how the construction of the new motel was going and the setbacks they've faced on account to the knuckleheads that were working there. Apparently they slacked more than they worked and don and the enigma of the construction manager, a man named Cloud Strife, were constantly hounded them to keep working. Don was a talker when he wanted to be, making funny faces and remarks about the people he talked about.

In the end it wasn't horrible, but it wasn't so fun either. Roxas kept finding himself wondering what Axel was doing, where he was, if he would be asleep or about town by the time the dinner ended. He always felt guilty though, after catching his thoughts wandering. But he still wasn't upset when the night ended, walking out of the diner with a full stomach and shaking his head a sort-pf funny joke Donald just told about someone he knew. The motel was just across the road, parking lot almost half full. Roxas would have a lot of work to of in the morning he dreaded.

They said their goodnight, which seemed a little stressed and formal and weird to Roxas but he tried to sound as sincere as he could. The blond was thinking of waiting until his father went inside to go over to Axel's when Donald called out to him.

"Roxas!" As the boy turned curiously, don continued. "Your mother called me this morning. You need to call her in the morning alright? Don't forget…It's important." Bewildered as to what could be 'important', Roxas nodded, brows knitting together and promised he would.

He wrote on a complementary note packet (which Axel had crudely drawn two people, one with crazy upward spiking hair and one with neat darker hair with hearts all around them and then another of the two same stick figure doing something very inappropriate right next to the first drawing) CALL MOM. IMPORTANT? Roxas underlined it several times so he woudln't forget it.

* * *

I really wanted to get this up and I'm sure there aren't _too_ many mistakes but, well, you already read it so, whatever, right? Right.

Sorry for not updating on monday,(You when you stare at your screen for like two days and write like three paragraphs and the say screw it, i'm writing another scene! and get four pages down in two hours? And then feel like a total tool cause you wasted like three days? Yeah. aaaalllll week.) but it got updated so there. I wrote you guys smex so you can't complain. Speaking of smex, honestly I don't know if I did a good job, I thought it was....I dunno, not up to par. Did it seemed rushed? Should it have been more of this and less of that? I dunno, you tell me. And DUN DUN DUN! axel's secret revealed, le gasp! he's a brunette! =] Dear Hunter concert tonight, guys. =[ i couldn't gooooooooooo. makes me so sad.

Please review! What did you think was up with Axel? What did YOU think happened? Tell me, I'm dying to know.


	12. Act Three, Scene Two And Hearts Break

waaaaay shorter than normal.

happy reading...

* * *

Summer Boy

The day after Roxas wrote his little note to himself, he promptly forgot about it; falling asleep soundly and smacking his alarm clock in the morning with a groan and dressing quickly, almost tripping over himself as he jumped into his black slacks.

He was working with Yuffie and there was no reason not to be prompt, in fact, she required it but unprofessionally giggled at his extremely tired expression. She herself was impossibly awake, cheery as normal with her _go, go, go _attitude. She babbled on and on about her date with an older man named Vincent, who apparently was an utter gentleman, shy, quiet but soooo nice. A vast improvement from her last date, she told him, eyes widening, exasperated as she remembered.

"Oh, it was a disaster, Roxy! He kept talking about his ex. I couldn't believe it. Chick left him for some douche and he still talked all wistful about her. Rin--Rinsomething, just kept going on and on. I mean honestly, if you're not over some chick you don't go on a date with another girl. And you definitely don't talk about it," Yuffie huffed, shaking her head.

"So what'd you do?" Roxas asked while wiping down the mirrors, enthralled with her story.

She tsked, turning to him and putting one hand on her hip, the other pointing at him, washcloth in hand. "I said to him--I said 'Okay. I understand you got the jones for this chick but she left you and if you're not happy with that you either get over it or you find that girl and try to win her back. NOT waste my time whining about it."

Roxas balked, pausing. "What did he say?"

His co-worker snorted, once again rolling her eyes and shaking her bobbed head at the ceiling. But she laughed, like she couldn't even believe the words coming out of her own mouth. "He started agreeing with me!"

"No way!"

"Yeah way! He got up and left! I had to pay the bill. Worst date ever," she seethed. "I mean, come on! You don't just leave randomly. And if you do, you pick up the bill. Neither happened that night and we never went out again."

"Well, what happened," Roxas leaned forward with questioning eyes. "Did he find her? Did he get back with her? Did they get married? What?"

Here Yuffie broke out into a bewildered smile, confused but utterly amused. "Ya know what? He ended up being gay!"

"No!"

"Yeah! He and my friend go out now. Don't know what happened to the Rin-chick but he's happily gay, or," she frowned uncertainly, brows coming together. "Unhappily. I dunno, it's hard to tell with him. Leon always looks depressed anyways but so does my friend most the time too so I guess they're, like, a match made in heaven." She smiled at him, shaking her head. "How did we get to be talkin' about this?"

Roxas laughed, continuing to drag his washcloth over the reflecting glass. "You were talking about your date."

"Oh yeah, my date! Well that was just fantastic. He opened the doors for me and everything. And he's so handsome," she gushed, squealing. "He doesn't talk much but I think that's okay. I do enough talking for the both of us anyway. It's really sad though," she made a small cooing noise, looking at her reflection solemnly. "His wife died a long time ago. He really loved her. She'd been dead over 15 years but he'd only now been able to even think about dating other people. I think it really hit him hard…. And sometimes I worry of whether or not I'm even good enough for him, ya know? If I measure up to his wife…" she paused thoughtfully, blinking. Roxas paused as well, turning to look at her miserable expression. She sighed and Roxas took the initiative to lighten the mood.

"You haven't even been on a second date yet and you're thinking about all that stuff? Wow, someone's a little obsessive."

Yuffie lightly smacked his arm, laughing. "Oh, shut up! Get back to work, Casey! You missed a spot!"

They both laughed, drifting to happier topics like how it went, what she said, what he said, and what she said back. Roxas nodded along the whole time, internally wishing that maybe, possibly, he should've told Yuffie about Axel so that he too could talk about his boyfriend. He smiled distractedly as she talked lightning fast, missing his friend and wondering what Sora had to tell him, slightly saddened by the thought of not knowing.

After all of the rooms and been scrubbed clean and smelled like they'd been washed in lemons, Yuffie waved goodbye to him, sing-songing to him that she had another date tonight. When she was out of sight Roxas walked over to Axel's, slight hop in his step after his gossip with Yuffie. He hummed, smiling; sometimes you just needed a little girl talk, or just talk to someone else for a change.

But that didn't mean that he didn't miss Axel, even though he saw the taller boy just last night. A large smile broke out on his face as he swung open Axel's door, revealing red, red hair poking wildly out from under the covers. Roxas snickered under his breath, closing the door softly behind him and leaning on it, head cocked at the redhead's slumbering form.

He crept up slowly to the bed, mattress squeaking underneath his weight as he climbed on, crawling forward. Snickering as he did so, Roxas mounted onto his back, sitting down hard. Axel grunted, groaned, but didn't do much else. When the blond boy started to pull on his messy bed-head hair, pulling it into braids and into thin ropes of hair, he let out little annoyed murmurs, eyes clenching tight together in a vain effort to go back to sleep.

Roxas just hummed, pulling and tugging his hair into something very un-Axel like, two pigtails at the side of his head. After one vicious pull Axel cried out, cursing. "What the fuck are you doing to me?!"

"Making you beautiful, of course."

"Hard to perfect the perfected, sweetheart. Get off, you're heavy and I'm trying to sleep."

"It's already twelve!"

"I went to bed at two!"

"Well then shame on you for watching television until you passed out! I'm up and ready to go. Let's go, let's go, let's go," Roxas exclaimed, bouncing up and down on Axel's back. The redhead 'ooh'-ed and 'ow'-ed until he surrendered, pushing himself up fast so that Roxas lost his balance and fell of with an 'oomph!'

"Whaddaya wanna do?"

That was always the question, wasn't it? In a small town in the middle of a dry desert there were a surprising amount of things to but it seemed like they'd done most of them. But maybe Roxas was just over-thinking things and he, after all, had respect for the classics. "Let's go watch the sun set! And then go stargazing."

"Well, that all sounds fine and dandy but as you pointed out before, _cupcake,_ it's twelve. I don't think we're gonna be watching any sun set soon," Axel grinned wickedly, winking when Roxas scowled. "But okay. Come on. I'll take you out to lunch at the faaaanciest place in town."

The fanciest place in town was, according to Axel, McDonalds (which was also admittingly a _classic_), where Roxas was hand fed chicken nuggets with dollops honey on one end. Roxas threw little bits of ketchup-drowned chicken into Axel's mouth, which he caught every time without fail.

The next day as Roxas was squirting cleaner onto a mirror that had a small sticky purplish hand mark on it, he realized with a groan and an exasperated eye roll to the ceiling that he forgot to call home. He wrote the note so he _wouldn't_ forget, Roxas thought, scrubbing hard on the blemish.

But he sighed, knowing that sooner or later he would have to call home anyway. It was like taking off a Band-Aid, you had to just rip it off and get it over with. He was sure that the call home would be relatively painless, if time consuming. Roxas found himself dragging his feet over to the pay phone anyway, digging for quarters in his pocket and pushing them in, dialing home. It rang three times before he heard the click of it being picked up and his mother laughing his name out, apparently in a very happy mood.

"Hey, mom, sorry I didn't get to calling you sooner, I got distracted and it just… slipped my mind. I just got done with cleaning so I thought I would give you a ring," he informed her, picking at the clipping paint of the wall before him.

"_Oh, it's okay, sweetie. I just wanted to make sure you would call soon. I have some great news for you!" _Daisy settled into the chair next to the phone, excitement making her heart swell and it was all she could do to keep from squealing in joy.

"Oh, yeah? What?" Roxas absently messed with a piece of his hair, curling it around his finger in an attempt to fix its position.

_"Well…"_ Daisy June took in a deep breath to calm herself before she continued. "_Your father and I have been talking and since you've been so…grown up about everything lately, I mean with how you've been working with your father and being responsible and not acting out of hand and calling me every other day, well… I've decided that you can come home for school, Roxas."_

Roxas blinked at the pay phone, shocked at what he just heard and not replying. _"I know you probably thought you were anyway but I just wanted to make it clear that we wanted you home for the next school year. But you'll have to keep up how you've been acting if you want to stay, okay Roxas?" _It was an empty threat; he could hear it in the lightness of her voice that she just wanted him home, no matter what. "_I've been looking at flights and I figured you would want a week to get readjusted so I bought a ticket for August tenth. Because school starts the twentieth. How does that sound? Roxas?"_

Home. August tenth. Plane. Right now Roxas couldn't think of anything. Just felt a numbness, like, _this isn't real_. That everything is unreal, not happening, this is a bad dream, wake up, wake up!

He hung up, loud click as he set the heavy phone down like a slap to his face.

Roxas stared at it for a long time, knowing what he did and yet not fully comprehending it. It didn't seem real (wake up, wake up) at all.

But he would have been an idiot if he couldn't recognize everything falling down around him. How could he not? Each crash was like a bomb set off, loud, abrasive, screaming to be noticed, to be seen, a bullet shooting through his brain, his heart. He knew what it meant, he knew all to fucking well what it meant. A cold numbness came over him and he laughed without humor, thinking, _a fucking phone call, a fucking phone call just changed life as I knew it…again. _

School. The dreaded s-word to all teens, especially in the summer. It called from miles away, growing closer and close day by day until before you knew it, it was looming over you, breathing down your neck. It took away your summer dreams, days of sun and frolicking and brought you back into the coldness of reality. It was now breathing down Roxas's neck. Clenching his jaw and shutting his watering eyes tightly, fists clenched, he couldn't ignore it any longer. He just _couldn't_.

For some stupid reason he thought that summer might be able to last forever….

The sun beat down cheerfully above him, little beads of sweat forming on his brow. Summer. It lasted only a few months and in one day summer was going, going, growing further into the distance. Summer was _over_ for him. That's what it meant. He would be leaving soon. Summer was over. Summer was over, summer was _over_.

And everything that came with summer too.

Roxas heard lazy, slow footsteps growing louder and louder and he knew they were Axel's. Face blank, he turned and saw Axel smiling at him, cheerful, happy. His life was an everlasting summer. Blue eyes narrowed, bitterness taking root. The cold numbness boiled into anger, contorted his features into a nasty scowl. Axel's short eye brows furrowed down, smiling slipping a bit, worried.

"Roxas? What's wrong?"

"Nothing, everything," he snapped hatefully, rolling his eyes. "What isn't wrong with this picture, honestly?"

Axel stopped dead in his tracks, taken back completely by his remark. Roxas sounded like another person entirely. He didn't sound like his Roxas, who smiled and laughed all the time with a light heart. This Roxas glared at him, as if daring him to ask, "What--what are you _talking_ about?"

Axel, in his simple shirt and simple jean shorts, didn't have any idea what he was going through, never did, never will. His problems and Roxas's problems were light-years away. Where as Axel just went wherever he wanted, did whatever he wanted, and never had to deal with anything anymore, Roxas had to actually deal with life, had to return to reality from the lackadaisical universe Axel resided in. And these thought went on and on, fueling his anger, fueling him.

Roxas's eyes burned as he scoffed. "Of course you don't know. Because in Axel universe everything is fine and dandy and when it's not, oh well, you can just run away and go somewhere else and leave everything behind. But guess what? Sometimes you really need to face the music and notice what the fuck is going on. You and me," Roxas chuckled, shaking his head at the sky like it was funny, so goddamn fucking funny.

"We could never actually be together. The only reason we ever even talked was because I was bored and you were there. But that's okay, isn't it? You're gonna leave someday anyway, no matter what. It's what you do. When I get boring, eh," Roxas shrugged. "You'd be a dust trail already."

Axel was stone still, shocked and…_aching_. He opened his mouth to object, to say something, anything. Nothing came out, not a peep, and he just listened, eyes growing wide and desperate as Roxas continued coldly, now burning holes into the pavement. "You can't even say anything because it's true, isn't it? You never planned on staying, you admitted it yourself. I don't even understand _why_ you stayed in this hell hole," Roxas sniffed. "I mean, a person could only be so good a lay."

Roxas didn't even flinch as he said that about himself, bitterness and deep insecurity running over like it always did. He glanced up the redhead who was still standing in the same place, looking at him like he was crazy, like he didn't understand why Roxas was acting like this. Axel looked hurt, upset. Roxas's gut started to hurt, churning, but the thought of how good Axel had been to him, a little hotheaded scenester, just made him continue.

"And how was I, Axel? Good enough to stand out among all the other people you've had? Huh? _Sixteen_ and _stupid_ and _easy, _how was I, Axel?" Roxas scoffed, pushing back his bangs and calming his jittery hands. "Jesus fuck. Why would a twenty-one year old want to screw a sixteen year old kid? Honestly, Axel? Really? I'm not even _legal_. Just another reason why we would never work out. It's illegal! Why the hell did you even bother with me? ….probably just to see how long you could jerk me around before I wanted more and you ran out. Huh? Is that it?! It would be a relief to see you go," Roxas choked out, voice catching. "I never fucking wanted anyone anyway. I would rather you just fucking packed your shit and got out of here. I won't even remember you, Axel. Just a summer fling is all. You hear that?! You're just a summer _fuck_."

(Because school was starting and he would be leaving, and Axel was twenty one and he was sixteen and no one would understand, _he_ hardly understood. Because they never really could be together, only gross negligence allowed this to happen, only sneaking around and hiding and lying made this happen. And he would be moving miles and miles away, and even though Axel liked road trips he would never go to Twilight Town to be with his underage boyfriend. They couldn't, wouldn't, be together. It couldn't happen…. School was starting and summer was ending, summer was gone. There was no way they could keep up a long distance relationship, no way they could make it work, it was going to end eventually and the thought hurt so goddamn much, so fucking much.)

But hurt translated into anger easily, so easily. And it was easier to shout and scream and insult than to cry and beg and say _I love you_. And Axel wasn't doing anything to stop him; just staring dumbfounded at him, expression too many things at once for Roxas to read.

It was so much easier to be angry. "I won't even remember you. I have my whole life in front of me and what do you have? An old car and _maps_, that's it. Why would you even deserve a place in my memories?"

It was so much easier to be bitter. "We could never be together! I wouldn't want to be! I don't want you or your problems! I don't want you to stick around, I'll only be hurt by you, by your past, your problems," Roxas muttered, clenching his eyes tight against tears as he said mostly truth. (How could he not be hurt by him, by this? Wasn't it better to nip it in the bud?) "I don't even want to fucking deal with your shit anymore Axel. I don't want you."

Briskly, heart thumping fast with misery, silently sobbing in his chest, Roxas stalked past the stumped redhead, not even glancing at him. He was too angry, too sad, too proud and bitter to turn his head even the tiniest bit to just _look_ at him. His footsteps sounded loud to him, cars zooming by loudly, families frolicking cheerfully in the pool. It was like his senses were heightened.

He would have heard if Axel called out to him, ran up to him and demanded an explanation, demanded to know what the hell was going on, threw him against the wall and kissed him hard, promising to love him, promising to stay with him, no matter what, society be damned.

But he walked all the way to his room, unlocked his door, and flopped angrily onto his bed without any of that happening. Axel did not call out to him. He did not run up. Did not ask for an explanation. Or demand to know what was going on. Axel did not throw him up against a wall determinedly. He did not kiss the teen, did not curse society or promise to love him despite what Roxas resigned to think.

The blond teen curled up on his bed, holding down sobs and sniffing loudly, heart hurting as he hugged himself, waiting for Axel to knock on his door and come into the bed with him.

It wasn't fair, it wasn't fair. Shit like this never happened to people like him. Ever. But it did! So why wasn't he allowed to have it? Why couldn't he be happy for all the unhappiness he'd had? He'd had enough of being unhappy. He wanted to be happy. He wanted to be happy with Axel. Axel made him happy. So why couldn't he be with Axel? Why not? Why not?

School was mandatory. He had to go, no matter what. Even if he never met Axel, he would have to go as soon as school started up again. Why didn't he think of that? Why didn't he remember that from the beginning? Why didn't he keep it in mind so he wouldn't fall in love, so he wouldn't get hurt by the mere idea of leaving him? Why did he have to fucking go? Why did summer have to end? Why couldn't the good times last? Why couldn't things just be okay for once?

Roxas felt hot tears run down his face despite how he tried to keep them at bay. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair. Why couldn't he just be happy? He'd been good, done things right, and yet he still got bit in the ass, was still delivered a smack, a kick to the ribs. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair.

He curled in on himself, shoulders shaking.

Roxas didn't want to leave; he didn't want to leave Axel. He didn't want to go back to be being lonely. Everything was so much better when Axel was around. He wanted Axel. He just wanted _Axel_. To comfort him, tell him it was okay, distract him, love him. Roxas let himself cry, dry heaving at the thought of leaving, _leaving!, _but kept listening for heavy footfalls, Axel voice saying his name comfortingly, spidery fingers rubbing his back.

But…it didn't come.

After all of his tears were dry and Roxas's throat felt permanently sore and swollen and he just lay on his bed, feeling empty and depressed, Axel didn't come. But Roxas was sure that any minute Axel would come to him, forgiving him, holding him.

He waited…and waited…and waited.

Time didn't seem too accurate to him, just lying in bed, facing away form the clock. It felt like minutes were merely seconds of hopeful waiting. And hour passed quickly enough, hardly noticed by the anxious teen that was regretted his hateful words increasingly by the tenth of a second.

But he still waited, sitting up to watch the door with eager, nervous eyes. If Axel would just walk through that door, _right now, _he would explain everything.

An hour turned into two.

Clutching his legs up to his chest, Roxas grew worried, wondering if Axel was going to come at all. He felt a pang, remembering all of the awful things he said, remembering the hurt look that crossed his face, like Roxas's words really were bullets shooting threw him.

The redhead must be really mad, Roxas guiltily thought, curling in on himself even further. He must be _pissed_. After all, with those things Roxas said and after he just ran off, it was no wonder Axel didn't come. It wasn't his job to go seek Roxas out; it was Roxas's duty to go to him, to apologize to him, to beg for forgiveness instead of just expecting it.

That was it. That was why. Roxas nodded once to himself, deciding to go seek the older man out, knock until Axel opened the door. He would try for hours if he had to, as long as Axel let him explain, let him apologize.

The sun was still burning down onto the little town that he actually really liked. The sky a clear blue that went on for eternity. This encouraged Roxas to break into a slow jog over to 7-1, to Axel's room. After he apologized and Axel forgave him they could go out, do something, bask in the rays and laugh, laugh, laugh. He cursed that Axel's room was so far away from his, all the way on the other side of the motel.

He was a little breathless when he reached it, nervous butterflies fluttering in his gut, dancing in his heart, exploding in his brain. He worried, fisted hand pausing over the door. Should he give Axel more time? Did he want space right now, more time to think? Would he even want to see him? Would he forgive him?

Knocking firmly on the painted white door, Roxas tried anyway. _I at least have to try. _

The door felt hard and stable against his knuckles and Roxas envisioned Axel looking up sharply, brows furrowing down as he knew all too well who was knocking. The second time he knocked Roxas envisioned Axel rising slowly, unsurely, making his way to the door as he questioned just what he was doing. The third knock and Roxas was sure that Axel had to have been standing at the door, hand outstretched to turn the knob but pausing, nervous and hurt.

Roxas didn't bother to knock a fourth time, eager desperation making him turn the knob himself, knowing it would be open as Axel hardly ever locked his room, and threw open the door.

He expected Axel to be standing there, surprised. Roxas expected Axel to stand there, unsure, as the teen pushed himself against him, hands clutching soft fabric as he frantically begged for forgiveness. He expected Axel to nod solemnly as Roxas told him the news but be upbeat, sadly promising to make their time together the best possible.

But when Roxas flung open the door, heart beating wildly with hope as he stepped into Axel's room... he found it empty.

_Axel stared dumbfounded as Roxas rushed past him angrily. He hardly recognized the boy under his harsh words. His truthful words. Green eyes were locked to the spot where the bond once stood until the scene became blurry with his own unshed tears. _

_After all, how could he and Roxas be together? He was right, it was illegal, wrong, for him to be with the sixteen year old. What the fuck was wrong with him to want a kid? After all, how could someone like Roxas, misunderstood but golden, even like someone like him? He, who was childish, secretive, unable to forgive and forget, unable to go home? He didn't deserve someone like Roxas and Roxas could never love him like he loved the teen. _

_His shoulders shook once, hard, jolting, but he swallowed the lump in his throat and wiped his eyes clear of any further weakness. He looked up, away from where Roxas once stood, and into the sky. It was beautiful out, sky sunny and blue. It was warm and there was a little breeze. _

_Perfect driving conditions._

_After all, what was here for him if not Roxas? And Roxas didn't want him…_

Roxas looked around the room, confused smile quirking up his lips, trying to locate his lover. He was sure Axel was somewhere, maybe lying in wait. But he wasn't behind the door, or in the bed, or next to the bed. He wasn't in the bathroom or shower and when Roxas really looked, he noticed that Axel's razor wasn't next to the sink, that the shampoo Roxas coaxed him into getting wasn't in the tub. The teen stumbled into the bedroom, looking for clothes, missing socks, jeans tossed lazily onto the floor, a t-shirt, _anything_.

None of those items were in sight and they weren't still stowed neatly away in the drawers. The teen's blue eyes widened as he confirmed this. Everything was gone, just _gone_. Roxas frantically searched the room, looking for Axel's watch, for a book, a pamphlet, some souvenirs lying around. None. There was nothing here. But the beds were perfectly made, pillows resting neatly at the top and corners of the comforter folded over and under just like Roxas showed him how to do.

The room looked pristine, like no one had ever even been in there in the first place.

As he continued to scan the room, now walking around slowly with heavy legs and a heavy heart, growing heavier with every step that yielded nothing, blue eyes landed on a complementary note packet, pen laying across the paper neatly, and his heart _jumped_.

He briefly remembered a conversation weeks ago, something about not leaving with a crappy little note. But right now Roxas wanted a crappy little note. A crappy little note was better than no note at all. …It was better than Axel leaving without even saying goodbye.

The teen lunged for it, pen flinging across the room as grabbed it, holding it gingerly in his palm as if it held all the secrets in the world, the secret to life, the secret as to why Axel was gone within its pages.

But all of its pages were blank.

With a cry of despair Roxas let the note pad slip through his fingers and fall to the carpet.

Choking sobs racked his body, hand coming up to his face and stopping short of his wide and overwhelmed eyes. He blinked his blurry eyes and hot tears ran down his stunned face. He hardly noticed the others that followed it, sitting still on the bed with a spasming and _aching_ chest, shoulders shaking when the sobs got particularly violent.

He didn't get it.

He didn't understand at fucking all.

Roxas didn't understand but that didn't mean that he didn't _know_. While he didn't, wouldn't, couldn't, admit it that Axel was _gone, _he knew he was. It was just a dull ache in his head, throbbing lightning in his chest, knowing feeling in his bones.

He knew it, he just fucking knew it, because where would he fucking be if not _gone_?

When he stopped shaking, quaking hands and shoulders and knees and legs, the tears still coming down like a broken fountain, he looked around the room, a cry erupting from his lips when he realized that it wasn't Axel's anymore. By tomorrow it would be given to someone else, with clean sheets, clean comforters all tucked in neatly.

The thought of someone else being in here, sleeping in the same bed where they slept and kissed and made love…it was like there was crack that reverberated inside him, something broken and screaming out.

The blankets were still soft underneath his hands as he crawled to the head of the bed. The sheets were still cottony smooth and the pillows were still full and firm when he laid his head down, pulling the thick comforter over him. He didn't understand why when Axel was gone everything was still the same, just like how he left it.

He hated it but also blessed it.

The blankets, sheets, and pillows…they all still smelled him.

Warm, like sunshine and fresh air. Sweet; like the apples and cinnamon shampoo. Musky; like them, _together_. If Roxas clenched his eyes tight and cleared his mind completely he could almost imagine that Axel was there, sleeping quietly beside him. But what he knew to be true wouldn't let the illusion live, killing it with a thought. It also brought up hard hitting questions and by the time Roxas named all of them to himself he was curled in ball, hugging himself.

_Why did he leave? Did he even love me? Why didn't he say goodbye? Why didn't he even leave a note? Why didn't he know that every word that came out of my mouth was nothing more than angry outburst; gone from my mouth before I even realized what I was saying? Did he even care about me? Where was he now? Where was he heading? What was he thinking? Was he thinking of me? What he think of me now? _

Roxas's chance at explaining the circumstances was long gone along with the redhead. He would never be able to apologize, never even see his face again.

Roxas's breath hitched at the thought. They would never meet again. Ever. Axel was not only gone from Sedona but from _Roxas_. The world was a very, very big place and it did not care about a kid who had a broken heart. Why should the world care in the first place?

The universe wouldn't make the stars line up to bring them together again…

And Axel wouldn't come back…

The blond teen cursed himself, wanting to wind back time now more than ever. He would be willing to give up anything for the chance to take back what he said or not say it at all. He words, god, vicious and biting to the core, must have drove Axel to leave. Who would _want_ to stay with someone like him? God, why would someone ever do that to a person you loved?

He would, Roxas knew miserably. He did. He knew all the words to say to him, every arrow that would leave damage, every bullet that would shoot straight through him. And he just said it, let loose every little thing that popped up.

Why, why, why, did he do that?

Why, why, why, was he such an _idiot_?

Roxas knew deep down that what he said would hurt, would sting, infect. But he was scared and hurt himself and he was just a kid and he didn't know what to do. He never knew what to do. (Because it was easier to be angry than to admit that you're scared.)

Roxas knew that he alone caused Axel to leave.

Maybe…maybe if he didn't say all that stuff Axel would have stayed with him. Maybe Axel would have followed him home. Or maybe he would have continued on across the states and maybe Axel would have called him every night, just to hear his voice and talk about everything and nothing. And maybe they would watch sunsets together still, miles away but under the same sky.

Maybe Axel never would have left and they could've been happy for one more month or one more day.

Woulda, coulda, shoulda, Roxas bitterly thought. But it didn't and it wasn't going to happen.

The universe wouldn't have the planets align to turn back time for one little boy in the world either.

Staring at the soft white pillows and remembering countless nights where they just looked at each other until they fell asleep, Roxas wondered where Axel was. It was funny in a miserable, sad way. He'd always asked about where'd Axel _been,_ not where he might go after Sedona. Where to now? He asked Axel mentally, seeing him in his minds' eye driving fast down a highway, wind flapping his hair all over the place, sun beating down on him.

California? San Diego? San Francisco? Los Angeles? Hollywood? All the way up to Seattle? To Portland? Las Vegas? Where, where, where? What would he do there? How long would he stay? Who would he meet? Would he meet people he liked? Would he meet people he hated? Would he meet someone like him, like Roxas? Would he fall for him too?

Would he come back? Or would he stay away forever? When he watched the sun rise and set, the moon rise and the stars come out, would he think of the boy he left back in a dusty little Arizonian town? Would he miss him? Would he see little heart shaped pebbles in the ground and wish Roxas was there with him or would he already be turning to remark on its curious shape when he realized that Roxas wasn't there anymore?

Would he feel quilt? Would he even care about it? Or would he push it to the back of his mind and try his hardest to forget about it? Would he treat his memories of them together like the ones he had of home? Hoarding them to his heart and keeping them a secret buried deep inside?

Would he left anyone else get as close to him as he let Roxas? Would he confess all of his secrets? Would he--- Roxas was driving himself crazy thinking these things he couldn't ever possible know. Why should he dwell on those thoughts when not knowing the answer made him want to cry out all over again?

_Because I want to know, _Roxas told himself. He really, really wanted to know. You just don't forget something like the past two months easily. You don't forget what you felt, what you thought at the time.

_You don't forget the feeling of warm rain hitting your cheeks as you kissed him underneath a canopy of storm clouds. _

Roxas sat up, looking at the still and empty room and he closed his eyes tightly; remembering all of the things Axel had cluttering the motel room and when he opened his eyes the room was still empty, still quiet, and there was no body next to him, sleeping soundly.

The air was cold as it hit him, throwing the blankets off himself to get out of their bed. He looked at the blanket for a second before taking it back and folding it in place. What else could he do? Axel was gone. He knew. He knew, he knew, he knew. He accepted it.

School was starting sooner rather than later, he knew, he knew, he knew. He accepted it. What else could he do? There was nothing keeping him from going home. On the contrary, he really wanted to go home right now. Axel kept him happy in the town, made him want to stay and now that Axel was gone and he was miserable. He just wanted to leave…

Roxas inhaled one last deep breath of the room, smelling Axel and laughter and happiness and sunshine, and then exhaled it and let the wooden door shut quietly behind him.

---

There was no music now and if there was Axel would flick off the radio as quick as possible. He didn't want to hear music…. He couldn't stand to hear romantic whispers of love… or agonizing cries of loss. He didn't want to listen to the screams of anarchy or acoustic melodies of peace right now… This was probably _the_ lowest points in his life… but he didn't like to think about it much.

Axel was on the road again… He started the car fast and hard, his beloved Lucy's tires not even squealing as he left. He pulled out the map quick and efficient, hardly batting an eye at it as he traced a route to somewhere, somewhere new, somewhere else, just _anywhere_. Anywhere but here…

Once again Axel was fleeing a city…

* * *

If you're upset , I'M UPSET WITH YOU. I FEEL YOUR PAAAAIINNNN. OH MY GOD. I was error checking this and I was so upset when I was reading it and _I wrote it._ Roxas is a _douche_. but ya know, what do you expect? it's survival instinct.

Oh man. I don't even know what to say to you guys. Did everyone have a good thankgiving? I hope every got abosolutely stuffed on meats/patatas/cranberries/stuffings/ all that good stuff. we had vegan pie this year! and vegan green bean casserole that yummmmmmyyyyyyyyy. I hit the black friday sales and ohmygod target had lines going all the way back to the frozen food section no shit. it was crazy madness. but i got 3 seasons of supernatural for like 13$ ohmygod. it's like I robbed a bank with an automatic it was such a good steal. BUT ANYWAY.

Nearing the end of this wild roller coaster ride and i know i say this every freakin time but thanks for stickin with me. You guys are awesome. and i'm not just saying that. I less than three all of you ( less than three = 3) and if you need something to tide you over until i update SB again, nearly every fic in my favorites is a pure masterpiece that deserves a thousand more reviews. or a ya know you could read my other fic CULT but go read something from there first.

Have a great week!!!!!!!!!!! please Review if you have a thought or want to rant or whatever. if you got the time, ya know. OH HAY BEFORE I FORGET AGAIN, happy about 150 pages!!yay


	13. Act Three, Scene Three Time Continues

Um, Yeah. Late. Late, late, late.

Happy Reading!! ENJOY IT! :]

* * *

Summer Boy

He was swimming.

Swimming, swimming, swimming, even though the only body of water he'd been close to in the last few months was a bathtub, for some reason in his dream he was swimming. He hadn't swum for months, not since the mandatory swim class in gym. He had forgotten how much he liked to swim, warm water encasing and devouring, soft on his skin. He used to love going to the beach…

However, in his dream he was not in the beach; he didn't exactly know where he was. In was in a vast ocean of water, maybe. And here the water wasn't calm as he was used to, not soft and smooth but strong and splashed up against him mercilessly, trying to drown him. With every wave that crashed overtop of him, he was shaken to the core. With every new gasp of breath, he tried to see how he could possibly escape this torment and the safest way to do so.

Water, still and calm and sunshine-y, looked so near, looked safe, normal, and _familiar_.

He flung himself desperately forward, arms digging into the water. Roxas tried to swim to that place, that place he longed for, for peace and memories. He missed that warm, safe place that was _so close_. He wanted to go there, suddenly, and stay there. Roxas wanted to be there so bad, leave this hard and hurting environment forever and reside where he felt the sun on his skin.

Rain belted down on him, current strong against him, always against him. However, the teen was sure he was making some headway; gaining two steps when the water only pushed him back one. After a large wave he didn't see suddenly rose up and pushed him under, deep, deep under, and when he gasped for life giving, merciful, air Roxas saw that calm waters were as far from him as they'd always been.

As if he'd never even been swimming in the first place.

He could've cried, the ache in his chest hurt so bad, desperation to go back there was so immense.

Above it just rained harder, the waves crashed against him with more intensity, pushing him down like a strong hand, pushing him back like a watery shove. Spitting out salty water and wiping his stinging eyes, he frantically looked for another way out, the peaceful waters behind him obviously not happening.

However, before him were only harsh, furious waters, promising anything but a safe journey. The churning water was the only way to go. He would just have to brave it and hope he came out on the other end victorious and healthy. Roxas started swimming into the storm, kicking his feet hard and digging in deep, taking a needy breath of air every other stroke and not really focusing on how many paces he was being pushed back. He just concentrated on moving his arms and not giving up, not giving up for once and not letting the waves push him down.

Sure the winds, the waves, and rain beat down on him but if he just focused on getting out of this mess and concentrated on doing it, it was like it wasn't happening at all.

With this in mind he fought onward, getting dragged down but constantly fighting to get back up to the surface and trying, trying, trying to move forward, onward, away. It seemed to go on for hours. Swim, swim, swim, big wave, underwater, gasp of air, swim, swim, swim. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Again, again, again.

It never got easier but it never got harder and the thought that all of his efforts were being put to good use just made him swim a little faster, dig into the water with a little more strength.

And maybe Roxas _was_ getting farther ahead, toward somewhere that was hopefully better than the place he was in, than the place he'd been in. And maybe he did reach it, reaching the shore tired but satisfied he didn't just give up, that he tried his hardest and became someone better for it. He was sure that it happened, could almost _feel_ the sand under his fingers, hard and rubbing against him, bright sunshine warming his skin.

But the turbulence that the flying aircraft ran into shuddered the plane, making his head, which was resting against the hard plastic peacefully, bang hard and jolt him out of his dream with sharp gasp. Except for his little outburst, all was quiet on the plane. It was like there was an unspoken pact between the passengers, everyone mentally agreeing that babies should sleep and talkative people should take a break, and everyone should shut up.

After a five hours delay, just a bit longer than it took for the actual plane ride there, everyone just wanted to get home, or to where everyone else was going. By the time they got there, it would be late, taking into consideration the considerable time difference and the delay. Everyone was sure to go _home_ to his or her beds, sleep in a room that was theirs for a change maybe.

At the thought, Roxas felt a little sting, thinking about his little room at his dad's motel. When he first got there, he didn't want to call it his room or the place a home and then he eventually called it his room, not even noticing the change, all of Sedona really becoming his home. And just like when you left a home, he was missing it, missed wide, wide blue sky and dry air and sandy ground. Imagine that, he actually missed the place.

Twilight Town was all neighborhoods and arching houses, lots and lots of tall trees. At night, the stars were duller than in Sedona, a fact he was sure he couldn't think about without feeling sad. And _voila,_ there it was. Roxas gently laid his forehead back on the window, looking down at the dark something below him.

It wasn't as if he didn't want to go home or as if he wanted to stay…it was just--weird. Everything was weird. Everything felt weird, like he didn't know what to feel and everything he did feel felt wrong.

He wondered what Axel was thinking, what he felt, before trying to think of something else entirely.

However, once on an easy subject, his mind went off and he frowned, thinking of the almost monotonous two weeks he'd been through and wondered what Axel had done to compare with. Roxas hardly went outside of his motel room, and even coming outside to do his rounds was strangely painful. Looking at the damn _parking lot _where Axel's beloved car once was hurt.

The teen became strangely accustomed to staying up all night for his night shifts, wide-awake just in case he saw a familiar car turn in. Whenever he caught himself doing this, however, or at least recognized why he did it lately, Roxas tried to shake all thought from his head, tried to forget but remembering all too easily.

But god did he try to forget. If only everything he had didn't remind him of the redhead. If only he didn't have to buy a completely new suitcase to fit in all of Axel's junk (souvenirs) or stowed away his dirty, sweat soaked outfit (his Exploring Outfit, as if they were adventurers or something) with a heavy heart.

If only he didn't go outside and think every footstep behind him was Axel or hear an occupant laugh and turn quickly, hoping, hoping, hoping. It was as if everything was against him, wouldn't let him have the peace of forgetting. Or maybe it was the peace of remembering but whenever he remembered he was sad so remembering was the last thing he wanted.

Was remembering the last thing Axel wanted to do, also?

Maybe, Roxas thought, staring at his reflection in the window, maybe Axel hated remembering too. Maybe they felt the same, hundreds of miles away from each other. Maybe….he didn't know.

Before he knew it, July had left him and August crept up silently, day turning into another day until the date read the tenth. When that day came his bags were packed, his room cleaned and neat, his hair brushed and he was ready to go, ready to leave, and ready to make his flight. Yuffie sniffled, wiping her nose with the back of her hand and regarding him tearfully.

"Oh, Roxy," she pouted. "Seems like yesterday the boss man brought you here. I'm gonna miss you buddy!" Yuffie wrapped her arms around his neck and he hugged her around the waist, patting softly, unsure. How do you say goodbye to someone you knew but didn't really know? When you only knew each other for a short while and already it was coming to an end what do you do?

"Hey, listen," she whispered around his ear. "If stuff at home isn't so great, you know you can come back here, right? Even if you just need a break, I know the boss man would fly you out here immediately. You just gotta ask." Yuffie stepped back, holding him at arms lengths to look at him, smiling sadly. "I'm gonna miss you, kid. Take care of yourself."

"I will," he promised, giving her his best convincing smile before putting his bags into the bed of the truck.

"Remember what I said," she called earnestly, pointing a finger at him with a hand on her hip as if sheer intimidation would make it stick.

"I will," Roxas laughed, climbing into the passenger seat.

"And…and be good to yourself. Stay in school!"

"I will!"

Yuffie sniffed, wiped her nose again before sadly waving with a tiny, tiny smile. The teen waved back and he felt terrible for doing so, and felt even worse after, but he scoped the area, looking for (maybe, maybe, just maybe) a familiar Cadillac and a familiar boy somehow here to see him off too.

There wasn't.

Donald looked across the car to his son still staring out the window longingly as they left the town. He cleared his throat. "Yuffie's really gonna miss you. She took to you like a fly to…well," he shrugged, waving a hand. "Never mind. She'd gonna miss ya."

What he really wanted to say was how much he would miss the boy and how he really wished Roxas were going to stay with him.

Roxas nodded. "Yeah… I'll miss her too. It's gonna be weird without her around for a while. Silence, ya know?" He grinned. "Gonna have to get used to it all over again."

Donald wheezed out his duck-ish laugh making Roxas chuckle along too. They both fell to comfortable silence, Don watching the road and Roxas watching the scenery blur past. He felt a pang for every place he knew that they passed. He mentally said goodbye to each one of them.

"Listen, Roxas…." Don said after a long time, turning into the main road that would bring them to Phoenix. "I, I know that coming here wasn't exactly….planned, on your part. But…" he paused again, unsure of his won words. His son looked over at him curiously, blinking. "I…really enjoyed having you here, even if I was extremely busy. It was nice to see you again. And…. I just wanted to make sure that you knew that, if you want to of course, you can come back _whenever_. I really mean that Roxas. Sedona-- well--I would like it if you could see it as a place to at least visit again once awhile." He ended with a big exhale of air, like the weight of the world just lifted off his shouldered and he was lighter for saying what he said.

Roxas regarded him carefully and, seeing genuine feelings, smiled sincerely at him. "As long as you make Twilight Town a place to visit once awhile, too. It shouldn't just be me traveling all the time, ya know. It takes two to tango."

Dan laughed, smiling to himself. "Yeah. Yeah I would like that."

The ride to phoenix ("Hate Phoenix," Axel seethed.) was comfortable. Little small talk here and there but mostly satisfied silence.

There wasn't a lot to say but the teen felt that maybe there didn't need to be. He thought that maybe everything that needed to be said, to make the crappy relationship they had going on a little better, had been said.

Parking at the airport entrance was sad. It really hit that he was _leaving_.

He wondered if this was how Axel felt when he left places.

But, Roxas grimly smirked into his own reflection, he bet the older man never had to wait five hours to even move, as was the case for him today. Apparently, there was a storm at some place they had a layover in so the entire flight was delayed. Then it got more delayed. And then even more delayed.

Roxas decided he hated planes. Really, really hated them.

No wonder Axel always traveled by car. That way he didn't have to be bugged by the two snoring guys next to him or wonder how the hell he was gonna get up to go to the bathroom if the need rose.

"Attention passengers," the intercom buzzed to life. "This is your captain speaking. We have reached the halfway point in our flight. Only about two hours from now, we will be landing in Traverse at the late hour of twelve. You are now permitted to leave your seat to use the rest rooms." As on cue, the seatbelt sign blinked off and Roxas heard the several snaps of belts being taken off. "That is all."

He huffed out a small laugh, shaking his head. The teen remembered the last plane ride, coming from Traverse Airport to Phoenix. He thought he was going to die either of boredom or of heatstroke. Oh, how much things changed. Roxas frowned at himself. Or how much he changed.

Physically his hair was longer, his skin was tanner, and maybe he smiled a bit more now. Mentally, he felt like he grew years in months. He felt….mature. Worldly. It was as if he understood life a little better now even if it to learn it cost him.

But…who knew? Maybe he was just kidding himself, fooling himself to thinking he knew more than he ever did. He did feel different though, like he had an epiphany and now knew the meaning to life (the Buddha, Roxas remembered with a smile). He just…he was prepared, he guessed. For the world. For being at home. He was ready to…change? Or maybe he already had.

He wondered for maybe the millionth time what to do with Sora. Sora, who like to party and drink and smoke for the sheer fun of it, who was the life at every bash. What would he think of Roxas's new outlook, the one that didn't want any part of that anymore? Would Sora ditch him for someone more fun? Did he already? Did Sora even care anymore?

Probably not, Roxas decided. But…he had to be sure. He didn't want to lose his friend but then again he didn't want to get dragged into that whole mess again. He didn't belong there anymore. And maybe Sora always will but Roxas at least had to try to get his friend back and maybe do for the brunette what Axel did for him.

Maybe Sora needed a change just as desperately and secretly as he did.

Roxas nodded firmly to himself, determined not to mess up this time. The real problem was Riku, he frowned. Riku was the one who really got Sora partying and Sora would follow Riku wherever the older boy went. The thought set off a light bulb. Riku was probably going to college. And Sora, no matter how much he probably wanted to, could not follow Riku to college. Riku would have minimal affect on Sora.

It might be easier than he thought, Roxas smiled to himself, happy at the thought of having a best friend again. For the first time in the past few days he actually was happy to being flying home, genuinely happy.

The next two hours just slipped by due his lapse in consciousness, falling to blank nothingness until he was jolted by the plane slamming against the pavement neatly, speeding forward with such strength he could hear it as it cut through the air. Groggy, Roxas rubbed at his eyes, stifling a yawn as he and every one else on the plan began fidgeting, locating their bags and whatnot and waiting impatiently for the ding that announce they could get up and move around.

And when it does, it's like a collective sigh, everyone able to move their legs and stretch and get the hell out of that cramped plane, Roxas included. He remembered the last plane ride, where he was scared shitless of the whole experience. Now, well, he didn't care too much. Or maybe he wasn't frightened as easily anymore.

As he thought about it he followed the airport signs, bright lights illuminating everything brightly, including the every tired people going his way, to their respective homes, families, girlfriends, whatever, and like them the teen also had someone waiting for him; his mother.

"Roxas! Roxas, over here," Daisy waved around wildly, embarrassing herself in front of total strangers. Nevertheless, Roxas smiled fondly at her, realizing how much he really missed her in the past few months.

"Hey mom," he murmured, hugging her. He was more than a few inches taller than she was, perhaps he had grown?

"Oh, Roxas! Look at you! Oh, I've missed you so much. The house had been so quiet without you," she laughed, cupping his face and stepping back to examine him. "I think you grew a little. You're gonna need to get a hair cut soon," she said as she swept away a few locks of blond hair that fell near his eyes. Daisy sighed, smiling. "I'm so happy you're home."

"Me too, mom." It was mostly true anyway.

"Why don't we go get your bags, honey? That way we can get out of here. I can't believe your flight was delayed five hours! That's crazy! I just want to get home. How about you? Tired?"

"Sort of," he nervously fidgeted with his carryon, adjusting the weight so it wouldn't hurt so much. "It's earlier back in Arizona. Maybe… maybe nine or so? …Did--did you tell Dad that I landed okay?"

"Yep." She turned to smile widely at him while she also dodged grumpy looking people. "I'm glad you two got to spend some time together. Though, I hear he was really busy?"

"Uh, yeah. He's expanding so he had to oversee the construction or something. But I still had dinner with him every few days." _But mostly I ate chips in bed with Axel. However, you, nor I, really want to think about that._

Daisy hummed, nodding, but it was evident that she wasn't really interested much in the details. "That's good sweetheart. How was your flight?"

"Better than the last one, that's for sure."

She grimaced kindly. "Yeah, I was never much for flying either. Made my stomach do flips."

Roxas smiled politely. This is the sort of conversation they'd always had and as much as he would like to be closer to her, the teen wasn't exactly sure how to do it, how to begin to change it. He knew he had too but…he just wasn't sure how to do it right how and eh decided that it would have to come gradually, step by baby step. The wall of china wasn't built in one day after all.

A large crowd, full of people he sort of recognized, stood around the conveyor-belt watching intently for their own baggage and generally getting in Roxas's way. Twice he had to ask people to move, please, so he could get his bags. He just didn't understand why you had to by right in from when your bags hadn't even come out yet. The teen held in his frustrations, though, very much unlike what he would have done a few months ago.

The car ride home is a more pleasant thing than he thought it would be, much more pleasant than the coldness he felt the last time he was in a car with his mother. The last time he was being sent away. Now he is being taken home and Roxas relaxes at that thought, content to know he is going _home_.

He would be glad to just watch as the scenery passed him by, and watch as he started recognizing places, recognizing the signs of being home but his mother seemed to have been waiting for a chance to have a big heart to heart. Daisy cleared her throat loudly, drawing his full and curious attention.

She glanced back and forth to him, keeping her eyes mostly on the road but keeping an eye on him too. "I'm very happy that you're home Roxas. But… What I said a few weeks ago? About your behavior? I meant what I said," she stated, voice sure and strong and, for the first that Roxas had ever heard, in charge. "I won't stand for the behavior you showed to me before. I just won't. You have to respect what I say, Roxas. I won't accept anything less. I won't let you act like how you did before," she said sternly, hands tightening over the steering wheel. "There will be no partying, no drinking, no drugs. I don't want any questionable people in my house again nor do I want you hanging out with bad people. I will enforce drug tests," Daisy choked out, like for the first time she said it aloud. "And I will send you back to your father's."

Daisy probably could have gone on for hours, asserted her parenthood for days and just generally made threats that Roxas was realizing actually had merit behind them. She would do it. And maybe that was good, he decided, and interrupted her, something he knew she hated but he felt was necessary. "I know, mom. I know. It's--- It's not gonna happen again. I don't want to anymore."

As if someone let loose her tightened string, his mother relaxed, let out a deep breath and looked at him with honest and searching eyes. "It better not."

For the first time, his mother was really his _mother_, his _parent_, his _guardian_. For the first time she was making that clear and Roxas couldn't foresee walking all over her again even if he wanted too. She was right, she wasn't going to stand for it, and she wouldn't let it happen. It was just up to him to make sure it didn't. Roxas remembered Axel in that moment, he just… couldn't help it, about what he said on the matter before. _"I just think that if you're not proud of what you're doing then you shouldn't be doing it at all." _It wasn't as if he didn't know this, had accepted it for a while now, but it was strange to know that _right now and for on _he would have to live by that, actually go it. It was like saying 'Ready, set, _go_!' and actually going.

Roxas's mother must have thought she got her point across because they didn't talk about it again, didn't talk about much really, nothing of importance but it didn't really bother either of them much. Daisy was just happy to have stood up and Roxas was tired and didn't have the drive to argue or even really talk. Only twenty or thirty minutes into the hour and a half ride, he fell into a dreamless sleep and started when she was shaken awake, making out his mother's amused face through blurry eyes.

"Welcome home, sweetie," she smiles as he rubs his eyes and blinks out into the night, a close approximation of a smile greeting his face as he recognizes his mother's house.

All is quiet on Columbia Drive, only little crickets chirping and the other general night noises. The street seems strange to him, all grass and healthy, full trees. There is no dry air or heat but warm, thick humidity that seems just as hot, if more suffocating, as warm days in Arizona. As Roxas steps out into the paved driveway he feels a pang of longing for the Arizonian town, all dusty with a killer view instead of his Twilight Town, all neighborhoods and the same old thing.

As far as he could tell in the dark, the street hadn't changed; the whole town most likely didn't change. Everything was as he left it. With this thought, he helped his mother unload his suitcases, the baggage clickity-clacking as they rolled them to the door and entered, yawning widely. The house, except for them, was even quieter than the street and the sounds they made as shuffled off their shoes seemed extremely loud and wrong.

Daisy yawned and smiled at him, cupping his face in her hands. She could almost see the change in him, mentally and emotionally. It was like a shock to see her boy so grown up, acting so responsible now. She wanted it to stay that way or, at least, never go back to what he used to be. "I'm gonna go to bed now, sweetie. Have sweet dreams, okay?" The stairs creaked as she climbed up them, off to her room.

Roxas soon followed, trying to be as quiet as possible while trekking back to his room. He wondered what it would look like, if it too would look exactly like it did when he left. Or maybe it would be entirely different and he wouldn't even recognize it as his own. Roxas wasn't so sure which was worse.

The light flickered on and bathed his room in a soft yellow light and he saw that it was a combination of both and Roxas stood in the doorway for he didn't know how long, just staring into it and trying to see what he remembered and what he didn't.

The bed was made and the carpet had most of his crap cleaned off of it. Everything that had once been lying about randomly was now stacked in neat little piles and a set of laundry sat, folded, in a basket. Black and white blankets, off-white colored walls covered in posters he would probably take down soon, carpet stained in some places from Kool-Aid. It was like he remembered it, his room.

But it didn't feel like his room.

This place didn't really feel like a home.

Roxas flopped down onto his neatly down bed, creasing its blankets and pondered this. He sat dully until he fell asleep, his dropping until he couldn't get them open anymore, everything still packed and he still in his clothes. At the moment, he didn't really care if he was unpacked or not. He wasn't sure if he wanted to be here after all.

Was this place, just a place honestly, really _home_?

----

The next morning Roxas woke up, he was confused as to where he was, before remembering he was in Twilight Town, in his home, in his room.

He stared at the ceiling and wondered where Axel was. He did this almost everyday he woke up, took a second to think about him and wonder what he was doing while Roxas lay in bed. Axel, he decided, was in California, taking tourist pictures of the big HOLLYWOOD sign and generally being an ass. He would meet many pretty blond girls with blue eyes there and maybe Axel would of him. He decided that Axel would think of him, remember his blond hair and his blue eyes and remember a little town in Arizona.

Seeing that many blonds with blue eyes would send Axel into a tizzy and he would drive all day and all night to Arizona, get off on a familiar exit to reach a town he knew so well. He would ark haphazardly in the lot and not even turn off his car as he jumped out, racing for Roxas's room.

…but when he got there Roxas would be nowhere to be found, the teen thought morosely as he sat up, sighing. Even if all that happened, and only in his day dreams would they, Axel would have to no way to find him, didn't even have his number, they were both truly lost to each other. Besides, why would Axel even want to find him? Heart heavy, Roxas stood, decided he should do something now, needed to walk around and _move_.

Coming down the stairs, he heard movement, talking, coming from the kitchen, his mother's usual haunt. Opening the door and taking a precursory glance around, Roxas was glad to see that Fynn was nowhere to be found. It struck him just a moment later what he just thought. He was his step-dad wasn't here, no matter how happy he made his mother, he honestly didn't like the guy. Sitting on one of the stools at the counter, Daisy smiling at him and lifting up one finger as she listened patiently, Roxas admitted to himself why.

From day one, well maybe not day one but around the time he noticed what was going on, he didn't really like Fynn. It was just fact. They didn't get along. Maybe they could but Roxas was dead-set against it. Fynn… Roxas always felt like he was just, he didn't know, _replacing_ his father. Even if the teen and his father didn't have the best relationship, the idea that a stranger could come in and be his _new dad _just rubbed him the wrong way. He also thought, stupidly, that his parents would one day get back together and they would have a happy family again and Fynn just destroyed that image entirely.

But, whereas Roxas wanted to be closer to his Dad, to his Mom, he didn't want to really know Fynn. He just didn't maybe it was a few years of resentment working against it, but Roxas couldn't bring himself to really look at the man as a step-in father.

Daisy, laughed and rolled her eyes. "Oh, Fynn. You're so stupid," she giggled, turning her back to her son as she open the refrigerator and took out some orange juice and later a cup. She winked as she set them both in front of the teen and stepped out of the room.

Fynn made his Mom happy. He made her happy.

Perhaps, Roxas be a little nicer, he decided, not even liking the way the thought sounded in his head. He could be a little friendlier, he thought, pouring some juice out. He could do it. Fynn made his Mom happy, after all.

Moments later, daisy stepped back into the kitchen, shaking her said with a funny little smile in her face. Fynn made his Mom happy. "Good morning," she greeted him and placed something in front of him before returning to the fridge and putting back the orange juice.

After two months he hardly recognized the rectangular cell phone, _his_ rectangular cell phone. Roxas blinked at it for a second before looking toward Daisy who had a knowing smile on her face. She shrugged. "I figured you would need something to communicate with. But when you go someplace, you tell me. When you leave you tell me, when your plans change, you tell me. I want to know who you're with and what you're doing at all times."

Roxas grimaced at the rules but didn't argue. Instead, excited like a child he turned it one, the phone giving a little ring as it came back to life. It beeped continuously for a second, alerting him of all the calls and messages he missed in _two months. _When he opened up the message box, he wasn't sure what to expect, but messages asking him if he was _dead_ or not, wondering if he really was _admitted into a mental hospital _or _arrested _was not it. Shocked, he looked at the rest and saw that they mostly asked about drugs or about a party or _where r u_?

He deleted them and felt lighter for doing so. He placed the phone and didn't even want to really touch it again. He was reminded that all of his friends are jerks and probably didn't really care about where he was and wouldn't be too concerned if he was admitted to a hospital. The only one of them that would probably give a shit would be…Sora.

Daisy hummed, bringing Roxas's attention to her. She was readying a lunch box, putting an apple, a baggie of cereal, and a water bottled in. Roxas briefly wondered if it was for him. "I was calling in," she announced to him, back turned. "To sub in for a friend at her day care. Ten until two. You'll be okay, right? You'll call me if anything go wrong?"

"Yeah," Roxas answered, wondering what he could do at all today. "I promise."

"You better. Don't go anywhere unless I say it's okay, okay?"

"Okay," he grinned and Daisy smiled at him, coming over to ruffle his hair. "Be safe, okay sweetie?" She called as she put on her heels at the door. "I'll be home at two-ish. There's plenty of food in the fridge. I made some Kool-Aid. Oh! Fynn is working overtime today so he won't be home until nine or so. I love you honey," she said as she paused in her speech, looking at him.

"Love you too, mom." Daisy smiled and said goodbye before he door closed and a few moments later Roxas heard the car rumble to life before fading into the distance as she left him all alone in the very quiet house. The silence was very loud and every creak the floor made underneath him seeming to echo. Roxas clicked his tongue, looked around for something to do, before he went back upstairs to do the terribly exciting job of unfolding and putting away his clothes. After his shirts were on hangers and jeans were neatly folding and sock and underwear in their bins, Roxas was without anything to do again.

He decided to color code his closet. Black merged into purples merged into blues merged into greens merged into yellows merged into whites.

It was only eleven.

Short of just sitting around and watching TV, and he'd had enough of TV lately, he had nothing to do again. Roxas tapped his finders on his desk, wondering what he could do. The house seems suffocating, too quiet for him. He didn't want to be in this big, empty house, didn't want to sit around and wait for him mom to come home to be his entertainment. He needed out, he just needed to move around, walk around. He'd never been so _bored_.

Before he knew it he was flipping his phone open and telling his mother he was going out to get a cup of coffee and would be back in twenty minutes. She texted back saying it was okay and to tell her when he got there and when he got home.

The nearest coffee shop was just a five minute walk away but always had a long line, whatever it took to just get him out of the house. It was a Starbucks and he normally didn't like it there but he was willing to do anything right now to distract himself. Looking at the houses on the way also served as good destination as did watching people he walked by. His neighborhood was full of little kids playing games in their yards, parents watching over them keenly. As the shop came into view, green, black and white logo telling him he arrived, he remembered how Sora would always insist they come here and they would walk twenty minutes, because neither had a car, to the store for some shitty cup of coffee.

Roxas paused, hand reaching for the door as he made a split-second decision.

Second later Daisy June received a message that Roxas had arrive and gotten his coffee and was already on his way home. She smiled, before returning to a toddler who desperately wanted her attention.

Roxas arrived at Sora's doorstep twenty minutes later, big white house that the brunette hated looming over him. He wondered if Sora was even home. Roxas considered with a grimace what his chances were of having his evil mother answer the door instead. Nevertheless he knocked, knuckles sore against the hard wood.

Sora answered the door in pajamas, bowl of mostly eaten and melting chocolate ice cream in one hand and spoon in his mouth. He stared wide eyed at Roxas who quirked a nervous smile. "Hey."

The brunette stared some more, blinking wildly as if he couldn't believe who he was seeing. After Roxas shuffled and fidgeted under his level, disbelieving stare, Sora took out his spoon and set the bowl on the counter with a CLACK in one smooth, fast moment.

"Roxas!" Strong arms wrapped around his neck, almost violently in its excitement. "I thought you were gone forever! Into the wild lands of Arizona," Sora pushed away from him, holding him at an arms length. "Look at you! You got a tan! And you're hair grew out! Ohmygod! You're back!" Sora's smile faltered, even though he tried to keep it consistent. "You are back…right?"

"Yeah…I'm back."

"For good?"

"Most likely." A deep furrow developed in Roxas's eyebrows as he frowned. He was here for a reason, one he decided must be done today on the way here. "Listen, Sora….I--I can't get involved with the parties again. I--It's just not me anymore. I don't want to go back to sleeping around and coming home drunk. I quit, I don't want to anymore."

Sora let his arms fall to his sides and Roxas took this a bad thing until he noticed that his friend was smiling his disbelieving smile, shaking his head slowly. "I quit too. A long while ago. God, Rox. There's so much I need to tell you. But…."Sora bit his lip. "Can I apologize now?"

Roxas blinked, then remembered the last thing he ever said to the brunette. _'I'll let you apologize when I'm ready to hear it.' _"Let me go first."

"No! I'm going first," Sora asserted. "I'm fucking so sorry, Roxas. I'm an idiot and I did something really, really stupid. I'm sorry I got you involved with everything in the first place. It's not a good place to be and you had all the right to hate me and say everything you did because I deserved it. And thank you!" Sora let out a long breath, looking at him with clear, honest eyes. "It got me out of it, out that whole scene. I feel _normal_ now, ya know? I feel right. And I seriously freaked out a little when you said you weren't into that stuff anymore." he chuckled. "That's so cool! It's like we had epiphanies at the same time!"

Roxas laughed sadly, gaze averted. "Yeah…at the same time. Now it's my turn huh?" Sora nodded cheerfully, huge megawatt smile plastered in his face. "I'm sorry I said what I did. I wish I wasn't such a douche and I shouldn't have blamed it all on you. I went; I should have accepted the responsibility of the repercussions. And I wanted to call you so many times," Roxas laughed. "But I couldn't remember your number. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you sorry and I forgive you and, you know, that I was okay."

"I knew you were okay. You just---" Sora squinted and scrunched up his nose, searching for the right word. "You're, like, indestructible, ya know? Always stand right back up after getting pushed down. Always have."

There was a shout from inside the house, distinctly feminine. Sora glanced back, annoyed, before shuffling on some shoes and shutting the door behind him. "The beast is up. Listen, you wanna go somewhere? Do something. I mean," he chuckled. "It's not like I'm getting a lot of calls lately."

Roxas nodded, still in slight shock as to how well it all blew over. It was strange, thinking of Sora without his socialite status, but then again teen didn't look too sad of having lost it. "How's not talking to ya anymore?"

"Oh, the usual suspects," Sora breezily said and started leading the way. He didn't seem to care too much he was wearing mesh shorts and an old wife-beater where as before the summer he wouldn't go out without proper accessories. "Kairi, Tidus, Selphie'll say hi if she see me but she's not, like, asking me to hang or nothin', um, Wakka, you know. The people who used to worship the ground I walked on. You know 'friends'," he used air quotes around the word, rolling his eyes. "Whatever. I don't really wanna hang around them anyway."

"Kairi?! What? She--" Roxas shook his head angrily. "She's such a twat. I never really wanted to tell you since you adored her but she really is just a little scene kid, I think."

"Augh, I know! But it still kinda stung when she let loose the bitch. I really wasn't expecting it from her. We'd been friends for a few years and them WHAM! it's like it never happened. Bunch of people've done that."

They came to a cross walk and Sora jammed his thumb into the button repeatedly, as if the more he pushed it the faster the light would change for them. A thought occurred to the blond teen slowly and he hesitantly asked with a sensitive face, like he already knew the answer, "What about Riku?"

His friend stopped abusing the button, looking sharply at him and then slowly away. "We…We took a break. Or, I dunno, broke up permanently, I guess. We're not together no matter what way you look at it."

"I'm sorry Sora. That really sucks. But," Roxas bit his lip but decided to continue anyway. "He'd always been a bad influence. And an ass. I mean, he said he loved you and then he ditched you as soon as you didn't want to party anymore." He shook his head. "That's just low."

Sora laughed, giving him a patient grin as the crosswalk light showed a little white figure and he stepped out into the road. "Oh….Roxy. You've missed out on so much. That's not… how it went down. It's…" he sighed, scratching the back of his neck nervously. "It's just complicated. And confusing. But at the same time it makes perfect sense." He sent a sideways glance over to his friend. "Funny how that works out, huh?"

"Yeah…" Roxas mumbled as he followed, mind churning over memories. "I get it…"

The brunette hummed, jumping onto the small yellow painted ledge and walked it like a tightrope walker. Roxas looked around, squinting against the sun, feeling lost in a place he used to have memorized like the back of his hand. "Where are we going again?"

"To The Bean."

"The Bean? Why?"

"I dunno. I like it there," Sora shrugged. "It's a good place to be when you have nowhere else to go."

When you had nowhere to go, huh? Roxas chewed on his lip, but let it go. His phone, which felt heavy and solid in his jeans, hadn't even received a message, no one calling him or asking him to hang out. He was in the same boat as Sora and, Roxas figured, he didn't mind it much. It…was sort of like being in Sedona, just going wherever and without a reason. Going places just to go.

"And besides," Sora broke in, turning to grin at him. "You're gonna tell me all about your summer."

_Ouch_.

"Only if you tell me everything about what happened here," the blond weakly replied. "I need to know what I missed." Sora laughed, promising to tell him everything and more. For this, Roxas was glad. Maybe during the teen's long winded story he would forget about Roxas's half of the deal and he would have another day to keep it to himself. He…didn't really want anyone else to know about it. It was his, his little adventure. Was it wrong to want to keep it his and his only?

But Sora didn't forget.

After buying a water and plopping down at a window seat, the junior preceded to tell him, in great Sora-detail, what exactly happened after Roxas left. It was like his leaving opened up a freakin' floodgate. Half the time his mouth hung open in pure shock, the other half scoffing in anger. How dare Kairi say that! How stupid _was_ Sora? Riku _really_ said that? You did what?! I'm so sorry, Sora. Good for you. Good fucking for you. "You're doing what?"

Across from him, Sora took a sip if his bottled water, wiping away the rest from his mouth. "Running. It's not that big of a deal. I kinda like it?"

"Running? Like exercise? No way. You're lying."

"I am not!"

"You are to! You hate anything that involves physical activity."

"Yeah, well," Sora shrugged exaggeratingly. "People change."

Roxas shook his head, sending blond locks flying around, disbelieving. "Still…I can't believe you guys aren't together. For a legit reason, even."

"Believe it," Sora said carelessly. But he looked away and had a bitter frown tugging the corners of his lips down. Roxas dropped the subject, seeing that he was slightly upset about it all still; despite the playful smile he had describing their final break-up. Roxas understood. He knew he wouldn't want it pushed.

Pulling his gaze away from the window, Sora gave him a bright, teasing smile, winking. "Sooooo? Tell me about it. What'd you do all summer?

"I… I just worked at my dad's motel. That's…it."

"Oh, come on! You telling me all you did was sit around for two months, twiddling your thumbs? Who'd ya meet? What'd you see? What's Arizona like? Is it hot? You meet anyone cute? Did---"

"Sora!"

The brunette jumped, startled by Roxas's bitter-sad eyes and angry pout of his mouth. Sora blinked as he got quiet and looked down, jaw clenched real tight. "I just….I don't wanna talk about it. Not yet."

Alarms went off and, worried, Sora asked even more questions despite Roxas's cold and distant demeanor. "What happened? Ohmygod, did something bad happen? Was your dad a bitch? Did he hit you? Did you get hurt? Ohmygod, what happened?!"

"No! God no. I just--" he exhaled a deep breath, a calming breath, one that stalled enough for him to figure out what he wanted to say. "I just don't want to talk about right now, okay?"

And Sora nodded, because what else could he do? Roxas was an egg that needed to crack itself. Whereas he mostly folded to a bit of concerned prodding, the blond teen always needed a little time. So Sora didn't feel too rejected, knowing he would come around eventually.

However, if he were a cat, curiosity would have killed him by now and Sora desperately wanted to know what exactly was up. Hopefully, it wouldn't be as dramatic as his overactive imagination thought to was.

----

The stars shone brilliantly against the pitch-black sky, like little jewels, when Axel decided that it was time to call it quits. He was miles away from another rest stop but his eyes had been drooping for quite the while now and he just didn't want to stay awake any longer. Stiff and tired he turned into the far side of the road for his sleep tonight, under the stars and the moon.

There wasn't any music, not for weeks, but he didn't like to think about it much.

He also… hadn't found any place that really stuck, struck him as cool and unique and homey. Not that he hadn't tried. He had been through maybe a dozen towns but he always left the next day after looking around. Sometimes he didn't even glance around and just left without trying at all but… he didn't like to think about it much.

Somehow, sometime, this whole thing had just…he didn't know.

He didn't really give himself time to spare it any thought. Axel had a map next to him at all times and when his mind started wandering or when he started feeling lonely or when he started feeling things that made his head and his heart hurt, he opened it up across whatever flat surface he had and traced out a trail to the next town and from there on didn't think about it anymore. The redhead just concentrated on driving and getting _somewhere_.

Today, or rather tonight, he was heading for Salt Lake City but he didn't seem like he was going to make it anytime soon. He didn't really care when he got there though, enjoyed the drive there more than he would the city, most likely. So he didn't really bat an eye when he parked his car on the side of the rode and took of his seatbelt, the CLICK louder than normal in the drawn out silence, to get into the back seat to sleep.

But Axel was tired and clumsy and tall, remembering to turn off the head lights but forgetting to turn off the car and hitting his head on the top of the car as he stumbled his way to the back seat. Axel accidentally jerked his foot back, hitting the dashboard with a CRACK and he cringed, cursing, imagining it broken or in bad shape.

"_In the shadows of tall buildings the architecture is slowly peeling," _Music greeted his ears, instead soft but loud, acoustic guitar. _"Marble statues and glass dividers. Someone is watching all of the outsiders." _He grumbled, mad but tired and not really caring about much else bodies lying down. Axel briefly wondered why the car was on. _"The line moves slowly through the numbered gate, past the mosaic of the head of state."_

But even if he was tired and grumpy and just wanted some sleep, he couldn't help but listen intently to the song, it was just the way his brain was, like he always did and hadn't in days. It was the first song he'd listened to since…

Axel closed his eyes as he settled into the leather seats, listening. There was some string instrument accompanying the guitar. It was slightly beautiful.

"_In the shadows of tall buildings," _the singer sang, voice softly masculine, like he was performing quietly for only himself. _"Of open arches, endlessly kneeling. Sonic landscapes echoing vistas. Someone is listening from a safe distance." _The acoustic picked up, harder than usual. _"The line moves slowly into a fading light; a final moment in the dead of night."_

"_In the cathedrals of New York and RomeThere is a feeling that you should just go homeAnd spend a lifetime finding out just where that is…"_

He turned on his side as the music faded away, and clicked off the stereo and turned off the car, wondering at just what his chances were of him listening to _that song _after… he didn't spare it much thought and instead thought of something else, about the song, about himself.

Maybe…maybe all this time he was trying to find a place to call home. Maybe that's why he always left, and always tried somewhere new even after he decided he liked a place. They never felt like home enough. Or at all. It was someone else's home, not his. Maybe that's why he always went back to big cities, Axel realized slowly. Because it felt like a place he knew, or once knew, where at one time it was home.

Maybe all this time he was looking for home, a place to call his own again. Maybe he'd always gotten the feeling to _home_, or to find it.

Maybe he never needed to find it. It was always in one place, never moving, maybe changing but home was always home and maybe it wasn't the home he grew up in but where he _lived_. Home was patiently waiting for him. Hoping, hoping, hoping.

Axel turned around, closing his eyes and smiled, feeling… satisfied, a little less dull, and gray. He fell asleep wondering how long and how many maps it would take to _finally_ go back to home.

To Boston.

---

As was the usual for him lately, Sora Taylor's alarm clock started beeping obnoxiously around six-thirty. He was always quick to slam down on the sleep button but when he woke up, he was up, be might be tired but he was awake and nothing could change that. As was usual, he spent the next thirty minutes blinking at his ceiling tiredly and wondering, as usual, why he did this at all.

But as soon as he saw the red digital numbers go from 6:59 to 7:00, he groaned and swung his feet over the side of the bed, cracking his toes and fingers before actually getting up. The floor creaked under his feet as he made way to his closet and search for some socks. His gym shorts were still handing on his desk chair and Sora slipped them on as he walked out of his room, quietly shutting it behind him as to not disturb anyone in the house, i.e. his mother.

His running shoes were right by the door but instead of putting them on inside the house, he always preferred to do it outside, most likely to just get out of the house. There was a slight breeze out today, sun starting to shine down brilliantly. Nice running weather.

Pretty soon, Sora wouldn't be able to do this anymore. School started in a mere week and he would have to get up even earlier to go out running because he was a mess when he was done and didn't feel right until he took a shower and washed off all the hard work.

And, of course, Sora Taylor would never get up before six thirty. In fact, six thirty was pushing it usually. But, as usual, all that didn't really matter when he got started. He liked running; it cleared his mind and exhausted him, got rid of his jittery-ness on most days.

Unlike the usual routine, however, instead of taking a left when he got to the end of his street, today Sora was going to try a new route and go right and wing it afterwards. In this neighborhood, he couldn't get lost; he knew it like the back of his hand. But he'd never ran it in the early morning so seeing the streets starting to slowly come to life was a new experience. Doors opened and closed and men and women in suits or casual wear hurried out to their cars in hope that today, please god, they won't be late.

Sora always jogged for at least an hour, coming across other morning joggers here and there and getting farther and farther away. The sights and sounds were so enrapturing that most of the time, Sora wasn't paying much attention at all to his surroundings and when turning a corner and looking at a cute little house in the other direction, he collided into another body.

A startled shriek came from the teen and he fell backwards, confused as to what just happened while the other person let out something between a grunt, a low shout, and a curse.

Sora rubbed the back of his neck nervously as he smile apologetically at whomever he bumped into and just before an apology rolled off his tongue, he actually _looked_ at the person and any and all words died in his mouth.

Oh, he would know that face anywhere, could recognize the body out of a line-up of models, and find the dyed hair in a crowd of a hundred or more.

"Riku!"

The older boy blinked at the sound of his name and went from inspecting a scrape on his hand to staring at the brunette with a gaping mouth. "Sora! Wha--what are--?"

Sora smiled nervously, looking at him under his bangs like they could be a shield. "I'm jogging, what does it look like? You ran into me."

Riku chuckled, amused and cocked his head as he stood. "I ran into you? I think it's the other way around."

"No. No, it's not. You ran into _me_. Help me up," he demanded childishly. Riku extended his hand obediently with a small, small smile. As he lifted the other up, they both exchanged a nervous, awkward laugh. Sora took a moment to examine his not-boyfriend. Still tall, still muscular, still shockingly attractive. But he looked a little healthier, cheeks a little fuller maybe or perhaps it was just from running. Whatever it was, Sora liked it, just as he liked everything Riku did. Except for, you know, breaking up with him.

"How are you?" Riku asked, eyebrows coming up in an interested fashion as he unconsciously clenched and unclenched his fingers.

"Oh, you know."

God, was talking to a not-boyfriend weird. Just how was Sora supposed to act?! Every part of him just wanted it be how it always was, happy and flirty and fun and in love. Just being next to Riku again got his heart pounding, threatened to make him swoon. What do you do when all you want to do is kiss him?

Unbeknownst to him, Riku was thinking mostly the same thought. Not a day had passed that he didn't think of Sora and wonder if he made the biggest mistake of his life.

"You look good," the older boy said and the rushed to fix it, thinking he might have crossed a line and not even knowing where the lines were. "I mean, uh, you look fit. Shi--um, I mean. You look…."

"Healthy? Not drugged up and wallowing in self-pity?" Sora said sarcastically in a way he hope did and didn't come off as flirty.

Riku swallowed. "Yeah."

"That's because I'm not. Haven't touched it in weeks," he stated proudly, as if daring him to say anything against it.

"I know," Riku nodded. "I heard. I'm glad. I'm really glad."

There was a moment where Sora looked up and Riku looked down and their gazes were caught _just right, _perfect. They just looked at each other, both trying to find something to say because neither were sure of how this was suppose to go and neither wanted to screw up.

"I missed you," Sora blurted out, the words feeling right and wrong at the same time. He hoped Riku wouldn't take it the wrong way, whatever way that was. "I, um-- What college did you decide to go to?"

"I'm going to Traverse U," Riku nodded, smiling a little bit wider. "Close to home and all," for a second he looked at Sora pointedly and thought if he should add 'close to you' because whether consciously or not that was one of his reasons he chose the school.

Sora smile, strained. He didn't really want to hear about a life Riku was going to have without him, why did he bring this subject up? "That's great! I hear it's a great school."

"It is…." He bit his lip for a second, squinting down at Sora and mentally saying 'fuck it'. "Do you…. Do you want to go get something to eat? Or go to get a drink or something?"

Dark blue eyes looked at him head on, unwavering as he searched Riku's face. On the outside he was sure he looked like he was considering but had fine reason to say _hell no _but on the inside, getting something to eat with Riku sounded like heaven in paradise. It's all he wanted. It sounded great. He felt like maybe Riku felt so too.

But that's where he stopped himself, logic coming up to try to reason. He shouldn't go with Riku, on what was essentially a date. He wasn't ready. Every sense of self-reliance he'd tried to get these past few weeks would be worthless. Sora couldn't, he wanted to, oh how he wanted to, but he just couldn't. Hopefully Riku would understand. He just wasn't ready.

"I'm sorry Riku," Sora winced. "I just--- I need some more time to myself. I don't really think I can jump into that with you yet. I'm sorry."

The graduate nodded, trying not to let the rejection hit him too hard and focusing on the word _yet_. "That's okay. I get it. I'll--I, um, can we talk though? I mean. I would like to be able to talk with you sometimes," he muttered, looking away bashfully.

Sora considered it. Talking would be okay, wouldn't it? Just talking. It wasn't anything serious. Just friends, talking. "Yeah," he smiled, because he really like the sound of that, really missed hearing Riku's voice. "Yeah. I would like that."

An excited grin spread across Riku's face, stepping from foot to foot. "Awesome! That's great."

They both smiled at each other, nodding happily, and laughing hopelessly when they noticed what they were doing. "Well," Sora started. "It was great seeing you. But, uh, Roxas is home and I was gonna hang out with him today so I gotta get. I'll see you around, okay? Or, wait, I won't," he laughed. "Have fun at Traverse, alright?"

"I will," Riku promised, smile lingering still. "I'll text you, okay?"

"Alright."

Jogging away from Riku didn't feel like running away, not with the excited grin that planted itself firmly to his face. No, it was more like he was running forward, toward something that would hopefully be better this time around now that Sora actually was setting out to make it better. This time around, he was sure, the puzzle pieces will fall into place neatly, slowly of they have to, just so it can be right.

As usual of late, Sora wouldn't accept anything less.

* * *

That song was Cathedrals by Jump, Little Children. I second I really listened to this song I knew I had to put it in here. Just knew it. And now I can't imagine the scene any different. I love that song, seriously. Go listen to it. SPEAKING OF MUSIC, I was thinking, since SB is really influenced by music, didja notice?, I would make a fanmix for it, maybe. _._ I think that would be cool. I'm sorta making one for _tea, _too. TIME FOR THE EXECUSES. ok so last week, i was just distracted. DISTRACTED ALL THE TIME. instead of writing this chapter I wrote the first chapter for _pennyroyal tea_, which wont even be up for _months_. And then I had to write this punishment from hell called a term paper. I--I don't even want to talk about that. Then, since I had the first two seasons of Supernatural I kept getting distracted by Jensen's perfect face and then I would watch the reruns and would be distracted by Misha's perfect face. Oh, Cas and Dean, i'm going to special hell for shipping you two.

I actually like Kairi but, much like Namine, she being very rude and mean just fits her purose. I'm sure if you took the Queen B factor out she would be very nice. One of my oneshots is gonna give her a larger(?) role so i'm gonna do her justice next time. And Namine too, i just can't see her as being the village bike anymore, i'm sure she just has come issues. poor girl. She's gonna be one of the main characters in (_loved_). I can't wait! BTW, when I wrote the little prompt for the sora/riku scene i literally wrote 'sora and riku run into eachother' but only decided they would actually run into echother at the very last second. Life is funny.

Rant, review, I dunno say hi, press that little green button down there, PLEASE. :] Have a great week guys. OH! OH! SB HAS TOTALLY CROSSED OVER TO THE 100,000+ WORDS CATEGORY. AWESOME.


	14. Act Three, Scene Four Wounds Can Heal

Merry belated Chirstmas!!! I hope Santa and the season of giving was good to all of you!

ANYWAY, OH MY GOD this mother is long. OH MY GOD.

HAPPY READING!!!

* * *

Summer Boy

All Demyx wanted that night was a shower and eight hours of sleep. That's it. That was all. He thought it was a very simple wish and very easily obtained.

He was wrong.

"Oh, come on, you wimp," Larxene sneered, the sweat on her forehead making several of her normally smoothed back bangs stick up crazily. "Don't make me get the fans. Your psycho groupies with drag you by your hair."

"Um, wrong," Demyx held up one finger. "I only have _one_ psycho groupie. And I smell so bad that I doubt even _she_ would want to come near me and that's saying something!"

"True." Larxene scratched at her forehead, accidentally making her hair even worse. "It was a hot one. Those lights were killer bright. Mar-Mar soaked through his shirt half way through. But that's beside the point," she grinned, wagging a finger at him. "You were trying to distract me you little twink! _You_ are coming to the bar. And that's not a question."

It most certainly was not as for the next ten minutes she alternated between trying guilt him into coming and pulling him by the arm forcefully. They were sure to get plastered, she told him, wide eyed, and they might even try to drive home drunk! Surely, their devoted and caring leader wouldn't let his friends do stupid shit like that! He had to be the DD, just to ensure their safety, because after all who better to entrust their lives?

Which was how he found himself sitting on a mismatched chair in the dimly lit bar watching his friends throw back shots. For every one they would give a stupid toast to such as "To the hot brunette girl in the front row! Her boobs are a blessing unto the world!" or "To Mar for finally deciding which team he wanted to pitch for! We never were too sure about you." and, after every one had far too much liquor, "To Axel! Where ever the fuck he is! Damn, I miss that little bastard..."

It was almost a tradition, after a truly awesome show, they would go out, Demyx would always go even if he didn't really want to, get shitfaced, and toast to the missing redhead.

Even close to two years with him gone, they still toasted to him, much like they used to toast to each other in the old days, giving compliments or general flattery as they took another drink. Back when they were just starry-eyed kids, those toasts made it worthwhile, a little part in making the band stick together. These days the idea of just stopping was ridiculous.

Larxene, never one to mope about sad stuff, dared Rikku, Marluxia new girlfriend and sometimes the band's hairstylist, to a drinking contest. The poor girl agreed. Only after watching in fascination as they both gulped down a cup of beer, did the nostalgic feeling go away.

After much laughter and incomprehensible, drunken conversation about nothing and everything, the bartender politely demanded that they leave. Somehow, he was stuck giving the falling asleep Larxene a ride him while Mar and Rikku took a cab to her place.

It was late two o'clock when Demyx finally went home with a clean conscious, Larxene passed out in her own home safe and sound. The neighborhood was quiet when he parked and cut off the engine, only little bird and animal noises breaking up the silence. He sat still in the driver's seat for a bit, just leaning back and enjoying a little quiet for a change. Daily meditation.

His brick apartment building had seen better days but the bad days were still decades away. It looked identical to the day that he first rented it out, other renters coming and going, but the building always stayed the same.

The painted green door still creaked when he pulled it open, no lock because who would want to break in?, the steps groaned under him, and the handrail jiggled a little when you put pressure on it.

Absently smiling at these things, Demyx fumbled around for his keys as he neared his floor, squinting down at the shaped metal, not even looking up as he followed the same path to his home as he had for the past four years.

All he asked for that night was good, hot shower and some sleep. Nothing more, nothing less. Even something as simple as that was actually hard to go about obtaining and cost a little more time and effort than he expected was needed.

So he had the right to be surprised that the one thing that he craved and needed and wanted for two years just _came to him_, no fight needed, no time consuming search necessary, no effort really put forth on his part to obtain it. Demyx guessed that all that impatient waiting had paid off.

He was so startled by the hunched over form by his door that Demyx dropped his keys, the clatter of metal against metal hitting each other before falling with a dull thump to the ground ringing in his ears.

The person, head resting against his drawn up legs, looked up hesitantly and it was at this point, where he recognized that curve of the jaw, slant of his nose and the green, green eyes, that Demyx made a choking sound in the back of this throat.

Hand coming up to wipe at his tired eyes, sure he was seeing things, that no way, _no way_, before running through his strip of hair, mouth steadily falling open as Demyx's hazel eyes widened, no way, _no way. _

Axel stood up clumsily, as if he was really tired too and couldn't quite keep his balance. He stood tall, taller than Demyx was, hands fidgeting by his sides as they both blinked at each other. Axel's tattooed face morphed in a slight grimace as he smiled nervously, eyes flickering around and never really meeting the other man's eyes. "…Hey."

A scowl formed on Demyx's lips, darkening his eyes with it, anger boiling over suddenly, pissed because, because, after two years! Two years! And--and--Axel says 'Hey'? Hey?! _Two years_!!

Before he knew it, Demyx was closing in on his long lost and now found friend, fist raised and let loose, connecting hard with bone in the area around Axel's right eye. If it hurt, Demyx didn't feel it, adrenaline thrumming through his system rapidly and taking over, anger making him impervious to his own violent reaction.

Axel hissed, stumbling back and holding his wounded face gently, wincing as he gingerly touched it. Demyx panted angrily before him, eyes narrowed dangerously and mouth puckered and nose scrunched up, jaw tense. He looked like he wanted to hit the redhead more, again and again, until he felt better. Axel met his eyes, held them for a long while. "I guess I deserve that…." he muttered.

"Guess?!" Angered, Demyx huffed and puffed, shuffling from foot to foot while his puckered mouth moved this and that way, holding off what promised to be vicious words, trying to calm himself down, keep himself in control. "You _guess_ you deserve it?!"

"I know I do," Axel stated, biting his lip before standing upright again, hand leaving his eye, which was already starting to bruise. He held his hands out wide. "C'mon, hit me again. I know I deserve at least a few more. It won't change nothing. But if it'll make you feel better go right on the fuck ahead. Do it."

Sorely tempted to strike him again, Demyx took a deep breath, pissed off and angry. But about what? Why? His mind started to come back to him, sharp inhalations bringing him back to his senses.

Axel was standing before him, closer than he had been for the past two years, close enough to reach out and touch. He was back, home. Looked a little different, but it was Axel. Axel was here, standing right in front of him, and the first thing he did was punch him in the face.

Demyx sniffed, brought his now unfisted hand to wipe at his nose before he took a step forward. Axel flinched, not expecting Demyx to actually start throwing punches again and braced himself for impact.

Hands reached around him instead, startling the taller man as was brought roughly against his friend in a violent bro-hug. "Oh, fuck man," Demyx choked out, face squished against the fabric of Axel's shirt as he patted the redhead's back and held him a little tighter. "I thought I fuckin' lost you…."

Axel said nothing, just wrapped his arms around his friend too. He didn't trust his words right now, didn't want to ruin this right now with his stupid, stupid words. He should have planned something to say, instead of just showing up not even knowing if Demyx lived here anymore.

Demyx sniffled again, breaking away awkwardly from the tight tug and offering a cleared throat and a manly pat on the back to take back the girl-moment. His hazel eyes sought Axel's and said idly, short lived smile quirking up the ends of his lips unsurely, "I missed you."

Looking at his feet guiltily, Axel replied, "Yeah, yeah man, me too."

Huffing out breathily laughter, Demyx looked at Axel incredulously and rolled his eyes. "Nah, man, it's---It's whatever, you know? C'mon, tell me all about it." Here Demyx looked back, offering a half smile as he picked up his keys and shoved the right one into the door. "I've, uh, I've been waiting a long time."

The redhead laughed, nodding sadly. "Yeah man, I know but, uh, I've been driving for the past fourteen hours straight. I feel like I'm going to fall over and stay down."

The mohawked band leader laughed, shaking his head and finally saw the dark sleepless circles under his tired green eyes and wondered what miracle made Axel want to come him and want to come home so bad that he would drive fourteen hours straight to get here as to not delay the trip by another day. "Yeah. You look like you're gonna crash. It's okay, we can talk in the morning," he breezily said, ecstatic to just be able to say that, to know that they could talk in the morning.

Axel crashed on the couch that night, after remarking about what had changed in the apartment and what had not and shaking his head at Demyx's new, _improved_, hairstyle. It was beyond strange, Demyx decided, a weird sudden content-ness coming over him as he looked at his long missing friend, to know that he wasn't missing anymore. He was _right here_, after so long.

Demyx had wished for this on many a star but to actually have it happen was mind blowing. He guessed, sadly, that eventually he started thinking that Axel was _never_ going to come back. It was so strange to have him back and yet so right, like a puzzle piece was found and put in its rightful place.

He slept more soundly that he had for the past two years that night, wowed smile staying put even after he fell asleep.

---

School.

Oh how Roxas hated that word, trepidation growing with each and every day that passed. He didn't know why he kept on thinking the summer was going to last but he was floored when the last day came and went in a blink of en eye and the next morning he was standing at the front of the school, officially a junior.

Sora stalled at the front doors as Roxas did, looking at his friend with a curious expression that turned comforting when he saw the nervousness clear on his face. "C'mon, Roxas," he said, offering a smile as he opened the door for him. "It's only like three hours today. You'll get through it. It's not gonna be that bad."

"Yes it will," Roxas stubbornly persisted as kids around his age started entering the building. "I don't want to be here."

The brunette rolled his eyes. "Stop being ridiculous, Rox. It's school. No big deal. Who honestly gives a shit? If anyone gives you crap, punch them in the face," Sora advised wisely. "But until then just grin and bear it and beat it as soon as the bell rings. It'll be okay! We'll go to The Bean after!"

Roxas sighed, exasperation and dread mixing as he eyed the entrance with distaste. "It's gonna be weird."

Sora sighed, still holding the door while teens flowed in. "Duh! No one likes going back to school. You gotta do it anyway. Just get your ass in here!" An older man who watched the front doors to make sure no one skipped looked over and frowned at them. Sora offered a polite smile before glaring at his hesitant friend. "C'mon!"

"But I don't want to!"

"I don't care!"

Roxas groaned and stomped his foot but walked in anyway, the chatter of students asking about vacations and schedules and exclamations about how long it'd been since they last saw each other ringing in his ears. Almost instantly, he saw a head of bobbed dark maroon hair, Kairi, in and out of the throng of students by the Senior Bench. She looked happy, grinning from ear to ear wryly as she talked and listened.

As the two boys walked down the wide hallway, backpacks slung on one shoulder, Roxas saw from the corner of his eye Kairi take notice of them, pausing in her speech to narrow her pretty blue eyes and sneer her pretty face at them. Roxas's ears burned under her glare but Sora didn't even notice, walked right passed her without a glance. Kairi snorted and Roxas thought he heard her say Sora's name.

Sora only noticed how quiet Roxas was being when they turned down two hallways, spying in his pretrial Roxas's angry pout and flushed face. "Oh my god," he sighed, raising an eyebrow. "What's the matter now?"

"How can you just walk by her like nothing happened?" Roxas demanded. "She's talking shit about you! I know she is and yet you just walk right on by? Whatever happened to if someone gives you crap punch them in the face?"

Brown hair flew around as Sora shook his head, looking above as if he was asking for patience. "That's for _you_. I don't care if someone talks about me. They have no life. Kairi can say whatever she wants to say, I just won't let it get to me. What's your first hour?"

Roxas frowned, eyes narrowed, still angry but letting it go, understanding where Sora came from but unable to really adopt his point of view. "I have Ms. Flora for English." Sora nodded, smacking his gum.

"Yeah, she's nice. I'll walk ya there. I got Merlin for Chem," he rolled his eyes. "Can't believe I have to take that class again."

"At least it's only for one semester."

"Easy for you to say! You passed all your classes."

They came to Roxas's class in the west wing of the school, Sora saying goodbye quickly because the minute bell rang and his class was in the annexes. As the teen entered Ms. Flora's room, the older woman smiling happily at him, he felt a stab of fear being separated from his only friend.

Just like he feared would happen, most of Roxas's classes were Sora-less and thus friendless. Word got out that Roxas had sworn off drugs too and he was apparently blacklisted, earning disinterested stares from people who used to claim to be his friend. Feeling completely isolated from everyone in the room, he sat at the farthest desk away from the chattering teens and tried to look bored and uninterested.

All of the classes were only thirty minutes long in total and except for study hall/lunch and PE, which thank god Sora had with him, Roxas sat alone, counting the seconds until they were dismissed. When the blond teen got to his locker, which Sora said he was invading this year, Sora was placing up pictures of the two of them taken the week prior at random intervals. He perked up as Roxas neared, looking solemn. "Why so glum, sugar plum?"

"School SUCKS."

Sora snorted, shaking his head while his eyes crinkled up into sliver. "Oh, you poor baby. Let's get you away from this institution as fast as possible shall we?"

"We shall," Roxas smiled, bending down to place his miscellaneous folders and notebooks inside the painted blue locker. Students were filing out of the place, eager to get away but hesitant to leave their friends. The two boys had to politely shove, push and glare their way out of there.

Walking down the steps and into the north student parking with a spring in his step, Roxas heard the distinct thud of boards hitting the grounds. Everyone close to him was talking loudly to his or her friends, squealing in joy as they found people they loved but Roxas couldn't not hear the sound of the wheels as they moved against the black road. Reaching the corner a second too late, he saw the flash of people riding past, laughing as they kicked at the ground to get themselves moving.

The three were riding in the middle of the road without a care. One, off to the side, not in front but not in the back, was more slender then the other two, feminine hips and shapely legs, dressed in khaki capris and an orange tank top that was definitely not dress code. Her hair had gotten longer than usual.

The one that was trailing behind slightly was chubby, noticeably so with dark wild hair that shot almost straight up from his headband. Dressed in smart geek-chic, faded jeans with cool belt and a fashion plaid shirt, he looked like someone who spent hours in art class and in photography class and was doing yearbook.

The one in middle and leading the way was tall, broad shoulders but with a skinny waist, a slacker's build. Wearing odd camo-shorts and a black-wife beater he looked like he just rolled out of bed, didn't care at all about matching for fashion or about hair either from the way his looked. From a distance, he looked like the sort of person who fell asleep in class but was smart enough to pass easily. He looked like he would be quick to start a fight and quick to end one. He looked like he hadn't a care in the world.

Olette, Pence, and…Hayner.

Seeing them this close for the first time in months was surprisingly hard. When school was still in session he could pass one of his old friends without a glance and not care at all. Now, maybe because he finally realized what a shitty person he was and how terribly he acted, he felt a pang of regret. Not for the first time he wondered what kind of person he would be if he hadn't ever met Sora but shook the thought away.

The past was the past, the present was the present….but the future could always change, right?

Sora popped his gum next to him, watching with interest as the three people turned the corner and disappeared from sight. "Was that your old friends?"

Roxas blinked, still looking at where the three used to be, wondering where they were going. "Yeah… Yeah, that's them." Sora nodded slowly, watching Roxas with careful eyes.

"You ever talk to them anymore? Like, at all?"

Roxas shook his head and looked away finally, frown forming on his lips. "Nah… Not since…You know."

The brunette winced, rubbing the back of his head nervously while he remembered the party that drove the final wedge between the old friends. "Yeah… But ya know… It's never too late…" He offered weakly as the crossed the road, intent on walking the entire way to The Bean.

Roxas frowned deeper as he followed, hands shoved into his pockets as he considered that. It'd been just short of a year since he decided he was too cool for his old friends. An entire year. Could you really fix things after all the time, just suddenly start working on the problems? Or, after all this time, was it a wasted effort? After an entire year of being split in half, could things still be fixed?

Maybe…Maybe not.

Maybe things would never be the same between them, a rip in the fabric that could never be sown back together.

But…He had to at least try, right? Right.

--

By the time Roxas was leaving the school ground, lost in his thoughts, Axel was starting to wake up in Boston. It was a strange experience, waking up in a place he could really call home for the first time in years.

The sun peaked through the cheap blinds, lighting up the messy apartment. From his spot on the old couch, Axel looked around again, seeing with well-rested eyes what he missed last night. There was a bike resting against the wall near the door, helmet perched on the handlebars. There was an assortment of shoes all piled on top of each other haphazardly, some he recognized as Demyx from years ago and others that were new to him.

Magazines littered the table in front of small TV, from TV guide to People to Vogue. A vase of yellow tulips sat next to the pile. Axel noticed, sitting up, alarmed, that the TV didn't have a thick coat of dust on it. Now that he really looked around, he saw the bowl of fruit in the kitchen area, candles, and a colorful umbrella holder next to the door.

Oh shit, Axel thought, eyes growing wide. Either Demyx had developed a keen fashionable eye…or he had a lady friend.

The thought of a significant other living with his friend blew his mind not to mention, sort of hurt and worried him. If Demyx had a chick here with him…where would he stay? Would he have to search for another place? The thought was scary. He'd always lived with Demyx. Always. Even back when they were kids, Axel would spend the night more than he didn't.

The idea of coming home only to be shoved out was…shit. Fuck, Axel thought, feeling like he was just sucker-punched, or maybe that was his eye, which was starting to throb now in time with his heart. Starting wide-eyed at the coffee table in front of him, numbly grim, he heard the shuffle of feet nearing, the dull thump and a curse as something collided solidly with a wall. Demyx yawned widely as he entered the living room/kitchen area, rubbing at his shoulder.

"Hey," Demyx muttered thickly, rubbing at his eyes now. "Mornin'." Dressed in only his red boxers and with his unkempt, messy bed hair he looked like he literally woke up. "Do you want coffee?"

Axel turned to him, face betrayed. "Are you living with your girlfriend?!"

Demyx blinked, face scrunching up as he reeled backwards, confused by the question in the early morning. _What is he talking about? _"No. I live with Marluxia now. Do you want coffee?"

"Oh." Suddenly everything made sense. Axel looked around now, making connections that _of course _went back to Marluxia. "But, what happened? I thought he was living down on Philips Street. With that guy."

The sleepy blond waved off the question, shaking his head. "They broke up. Real messy. He's with my hairdresser now. Do you want coffee or not?" He demanded, squinting at the redhead before slowly walking toward the kitchenette.

Axel held up two fingers. "Two sugars, please."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know how you like it. But yeah, he's with Rikku now. Mar's real happy." He started, eyes going wide as his mouth dropped in a gasp. "Oh shit, Mar! I forgot to tell him! Holy shit, he's gonna want to see you!! OH MY GOD I need to call Larxene too." Demyx paused, squinting at the time on the coffee pot. It read 11:23. "Maybe not… we went out drinking last night," he explained to Axel who was up form the couch and followed him into the kitchen area. "They won't want to be woken up, no matter what the occasion."

Demyx smiled, suddenly very awake, and just looked at his friend as if he was amazed the redhead was really there and he didn't just dream it up. He sort of felt like he should say _I'm really glad your back _but thought it was too prissy.

He went back to the coffee pot, fiddling with its buttons and taking out a can of grinded beans. "Yeah… But, um," he mentally looked into his brain, thinking of all the things Axel should know. "They closed that doughnut place on Columbia. And they opened up a new shopping center down at Bell View. Um, Larx got fed up and quit her job at the record place. Although," he grinned at Axel, excitement thickening his voice. "We all quit our jobs. We got a record deal at Thirteen Records!"

Axel smiled sadly, remembering the radio broadcast that told him the same thing. "Yeah…I heard. You're songs have been playing on the radio."

This stopped Demyx dead in his tracks, arm out stretched to grab two coffee cups from the cabinet. He turned his head minutely to Axel, astonished. "You…you heard us?"

"Yeah, freakin' _all over _the states."

Slowly, Demyx swallowed the lump in his throat, took down two cups, and set them down on the countertop, the clink as they sat loud. He stared at them, tracing their circular tops as he asked quietly, Axel leaning in perceptively to hear, "Did…Is that why your home? Did you hear them and think 'Fuck, I gotta get home and get back to the band'?" He looked across at Axel, desperate to hear a _yes_.

The redhead was quiet, looking down at the two mugs in Demyx's hand. The coffee maker gurgled. "No… It's. It's a long story."

Demyx let out a breathy, sad, laugh, nodding to himself. "Yeah, well." He offered a small smile and handed over Axel's cup. "I ain't got nothin' but time."

The taller man nodded, hands fidgeting around his cup. Demyx was still looking straight at him, obviously expecting him to start talking. He gulped, throat constricting suddenly. As much as he would just like to forget about it, about everything, and just continue onward regardless, he knew that Dem deserved to know. After two years of not hearing a word from him, not one phone call, not a text or a letter, not nothing, he should know what Axel sent two years of his life doing.

"Well…" he started unsurely, looking at the cup in his hands. "It all started that day, do you remember? I wanted to stop by my parents' house. They were leaving the country. I dunno," he exhaled a long breath. "It just really got to me. I guess after all those years of their basic abandonment that I couldn't, that I didn't want to take it anymore. If they could leave so could I. It made sense to me then, like…." he paused, licking his lips as he considered his next words. "I just wouldn't have to think about it if I kept moving. Maybe I just thought my past wouldn't catch up to me if I just kept moving."

"You're past will always come back to you, Axel." Demyx said seriously. "It's always up to you though, whether or not you let it haunt you."

"I know that now… I get it now… But it made me feel good, driving away. So I just kept doing it. I went from place to place, I've been fuckin' everywhere," he grinned, trying to change the mood. Demyx raised his eyebrows interestedly. "I've been to New York. I've been to Cleveland. I've to India polis, Chicago, Nashville, New Orleans, Houston, Dallas, Albuquerque."

"For real?" Demyx grinned back, rocking on the balls of his feet. "That's a real place? I never knew that. That's awesome!"

"Yeah," Axel nodded slowly, tracing the rim of his cup absently. "Yeah. To every city and then all the little nameless places in between. I actually like the smaller places more. I usually stay there longer, a week or so maybe. I think the big cities reminded me of Boston too much…."

His friend nodded in understanding, waiting for Axel to continue. When the redhead went silent, gaze focused on the cup in his hand, he prompted him. "So? What then? Albuquerque and then what?"

Axel remained quiet, sniffed once and took a breath. "And then Sedona."

"Sedona?" Demyx frowned, leaning against the hard edge of the counter as he looked at his friend curiously. "Never heard of it."

"It's this…" Axel licked his lips. "It's this awesome little town in Arizona. Maybe…an hour away from Phoenix? It is…it's just a cool place. The landscape around it is just beautiful. The greatest sunsets," he smiled to himself, not without sadness. "And the most beautiful stars at night…. Great local shops, cool places to hang out in…The… locals are nice."

Demyx nodded, looking impressed with his description of the place. "How long did you stay there?"

"A month."

The blonde's eyebrows shot up, half because of the way his friend said it, like his throat was clogged up, thick, and because of the way he looked when he said to, like it physically hurt mutter the words. The other half was due to the time mention. His brow furrowed, remembered that Axel said he only said a week or so at placed he liked. "This must have been one hell of a place."

Gaze averted and staring intently at the coffee maker, Axel nodded. "Yeah, yeah it was."

Demyx waited again for Axel to continue his story, leaning forward interestedly. But Axel seemed like he was lost in his thoughts or something and Demyx took it upon himself to start the conversation up again. "Soooo? What happened? You meet someone? Is… Is that where you called me from a few weeks ago? From Sedona?"

"Yeah," Axel choked out, nodding. "Yeah. I was in Sedona then."

"So? What happened? You told me that you were-- What the fuck happened Ax? You look like you're gonna throw up or something! What happened?"

Axel took a deep breath, leaning his head back to look up, exhaling loudly. "Roxas happened. The birth and the death of me. Roxas fucking happened and then the world turned on its fucking head, man." He shook his head, mouth turning into a fine, hard line, face twisting in the agony that came with remembering. "Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck." He took in several deep breaths, running a hand through his hair in a calming gesture. Demyx watched, stunned at his emotional outburst. Axel directed his searing green gaze at him.

"Roxas fucking happened and then everything got better but everything turned to shit. That little fuck. Jesus Christ that little bitch…" Axel stared off into space, face angry, bitter.

"Who is Roxas?" The mohawked man asked in a whisper, not sure if he really wanted to know but was too fascinated not to ask.

"The kid I fell in love with," Axel stated, looking straight at me. "The kid who fooled me into thinking…God, I thought_, I really thought_. God," he sniffed, wiping violently at his nose and at his eyes. "You really don't know until it happens. People tell you but it's nothing compared to the real fucking thing, man. God."

"Don't know what?" God, Demyx thought, growing slightly angry and more than slightly worried and concerned for his friend. It was clear as a crystal that Axel was fighting breaking down on Demyx's dingy kitchenette floor. To think that the mere thought of someone brought his friend, who was smart, cocky, brave and strong, to this state….blew his mind and really made him want to throw a punch or two.

Axel looked up at him, looked so bitter and hurt and like a dam that was gonna finally give in despite it all. _"How it feels to get your fuckin' heart ripped out," he choked, drawing in two shaky breaths before he set down the coffee mug with a dull clink and turned around._ He wiped his hands across his face and through his hair until he felt like he wasn't going to freak out. "I just…" he sighed, shaking his head slowly, back still turned. "I just don't. I just don't want to talk about right now… I just…no."

The only sound in the room for a while was that of the coffee maker gurgling, churning out dark liquid. Demyx sighed but instead of letting the subject drop, instead of laying off like Axel wanted him too, he poked and prodded. Axel wasn't a dam. People needed to let loose a few times, should shake the world off their shoulders.

"Yeah, well, when are ya going to talk about honestly?" he drawled, raising an eyebrow and crossing his arms. "I know you. You're gonna keep it all bottled up and mentally freak out about forever until well… Until you beat it out of town because you can't take it anymore."

"Oh please," Axel sneered, turning his head to look at his best friend. "My parents were one thing, this is totally different. You can't put the two in the same category, it's totally different."

"It's not! You're gonna deal with this just like you did with your parents or rather not deal with it just like you did with your parents. Learn from your mistakes, dude! Don't fucking keep it all hidden away in your box, out of sight out of mind doesn't actually work. You gonna let this haunt you?"

Axel was quiet, steaming, but quiet. He spoke in a harsh whisper. "Don't you start on me. Don't you fucking dare. It's my proble--"

"It was 'your problem' two years ago when your shit parents decided to leave too! You left for two years because you didn't want to talk about 'your problem'. You know what?!" Demyx practically yelled, pointing a finger at his friend. "It became _my problem_. You're not gonna freak out and leave again, Ax. You're not. I'm not letting you. So fucking tell me what's on your mind. Tell me what happened," he begged. "So that it won't. I can't lose you again Axel. We can't take it a second time."

Axel chewed on the inside of his lip, angry, fuming. "Fine. You wanna know? Well here it is. I fucking loved this kid. I would've stayed there, I never would have come back I was that blessed out with him. Everything that was bad just didn't matter around him. I could honestly forget that that was my life. Each and every freaking day was like paradise. Just me and him and nothing else. I told him everything," Axel stated, sighing shakily.

"He's sixteen," the redhead stressed, shaking his head. Demyx's eyebrows rose. "But it didn't matter. I dunno, I kind of always felt like I was sixteen again with him, a boy. He made it feel like I was in a place where none of this shit happened, like I was years backward. Roxas…" Axel sighed, wistful, sad. "He was everything I needed."

The band member watched as his shoulders started to shake and at first he was worried Axel has burst into tears but realized belatedly that he was laughing, a not funny, ironic laugh. When the redhead looked at him, it was beaten down, grimly accepting face.

"But you know what they say. If it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is. It was," he said surely. "Because honestly…" he sighed. "I dunno. He played me, that I know for sure. I was just someone to pass the time, I could've been anyone. It wouldn't have mattered anyway. It's over now. I left; I'm here and know you know why I didn't want to talk about him. It hurt enough then. I don't want to relive it again and again, got it?"

"Yeah…I understand, man."

Axle fidgeted from foot to foot, eyes focused downward, mouth still twisted as he remembered Roxas's face, remembered his words until he was red in the face.

The coffee maker beeped.

"I'm sorry," Demyx said slowly. "But. Whatever. It's all… done. And now I can tell you he's a little bitch and he didn't deserve you anyway," he grinned, trying to lighten the mood. Axel huffed out a little laugh. "I could go on and on. He's just a little twink who'll never be anything and doesn't deserve you even looking at 'im. I mean c'mon! You're in an up and coming band! A band who…" Demyx paused, taking a little excited breath, eyes shining with sheer anticipation, a goofy smile plastered on his face. "who's going on a country-wide tour in a month."

Axel started, stared at Demyx, mouth agape and his eyes widening in question. When Demyx just nodded rapidly, hopping from foot to foot, Axel started grinning too, laughing. "What?! When did this happen?"

"We told them we were all for it about a week ago. We've been going around the New England states and even did an east coast tour a few months ago." The singer licked his lips. "We wanted to wait for you, man. Been holding off a big tour for half a year now. It never felt right without you…."

"You… You still want me? I mean…" Axel scratched at his head nervously. "I haven't… I don't even know any of the new songs."

"You'll learn! You're our guitarist, Ax. Always will be. We never replaced you. You can come back and it'll be like it should be. We're gonna go on tour, man!" Demyx jumped up and down excitedly.

"We're gonna go on tour!"

The smile on their face couldn't have been bigger, full of nervous excitement and the feeling like everything was falling into place again. For Demyx things just became whole again and now he was fully prepared to jet forward. Axel was just happy that this, the two of them, the band, their dream, was the same as it had been two years ago and he could jump right in. These Roxas pushed those of Roxas back. Now he was only the second thing Axel's mind.

---

Approaching Olette Buccella was the damn near scariest thing that Roxas had ever done. Even scarier than that first airplane ride, which was saying something because Roxas was about to piss himself the entire plan ride.

He decided to talk to Olette first because he thought it would be less nerve wracking. They used to be really close and he knew that she had a good head on her shoulders and wasn't quick to start fights. Roxas figured he had the greatest chance with her. …The fact that she was girl might have also played a big part in his decision. He could admit that he mentally thought of her as less of a threat than Pence or…Hayner.

But whenever he saw her in the halls, at her locker, or going to class, he chickened out every time. All of a sudden, his throat would get dry and his heart would speed up, the instinct to run won out.

He would just keep thinking about what she must think about him, what she might say to him and could just see her glaring and dismissing his apologies, flipping him off and telling him to go fuck himself. The fear of her totally rejecting him scared him shitless. So much so that Roxas kept saying now, now, now, and when the time came he didn't go for, couldn't, knees threatening to buckle.

"You're such a little chicken, Roxas," Sora told him one day at their locker, giving him a look. "For real? Are you like afraid of her?"

"No!" Roxas objected, indignation crossed his features. Sora put away a book and pointed looked at him, crossing his arms. "…Yeah. She's just. I don't know. I think I over-think it and then I freak out and lose my chance." Sora hummed and closed the locker, twirling the dial around before he started walking toward the lunchroom.

"Maybe you just gotta _do it_. Just walk up to her, say what you gotta say."

"But that's just it; I can't walk over to her. I think I will and then I just walk right past her," Roxas sighed, shoulders slumping.

The brunette frowned, wondering what advice he could give to give Roxas some nuts. Students were milling about during the passing period, talking and slowly walking or rushing to their class. He saw Olette at her locker to their right, on her tiptoes to reach up to get a book that was at the top shelf. He grinned. Roxas was still moping, not really paying attention to what was going on around him.

He didn't see Sora casually slow down to get behind him, didn't even see Olette until his best friend shoved him in her direction, startling the both of them when he collided with a BANG against the metal lockers. At first he was confused and angry, looking around for who pushed him. He saw Sora walk by really fast, giving him two thumbs up.

Rubbing his shoulder, eyebrows furrowed in his confusion he finally noticed her and nearly jumped out of his skin.

Olette was staring at him curiously, slowly blinking as if she wasn't quite sure what just happened all of a sudden. She chewed slowly in her gum. "Uh….hey."

"H-hey." Oh god, his heart was freaking out. His mind was blank and he couldn't think of anything he wanted to say. Roxas fidgeted under her cool gaze, she flicking a piece of her bangs out of her eyes. "I..I." And then it all came out like word-vomit, everything spilling out fast. "I'm really fucking sorry 'lette. I didn't mean to mess everything up but I did and I'm sorry. I was being a douche and I just was carried away and I wanted to be popular and…god, I sorry I missed the Struggle tournament. I really am. I wanted to go but… I'm really sorry I never tried to apologize before but…I dunno. I just--- I really missed you and I wish things were different. I'm fuck, I'm just sorry okay?!"

And like the stupid kid he is, Roxas ran away as soon as he was done, not giving Olette the chance to reject his apology and walking fast away from her and to the lunchrooms, intent on finding Sora.

Olette blinked as he left suddenly, turning to watch him as he walked away. Her greenish blue eyes were wide from his blabbering and as he disappeared from sight, she nodded several time to herself, looking impressed before taking out her Spanish book and going to class.

---

The ice cream was salty, but sweet, bright blue liquid melting down her hand. Olette bit of a large piece of the cold treat, chewing around it. She looked over to her friends, Pence and then Hayner next to him. They were all sitting on the ledge of the clock tower, having snuck up yet again like they always did. From the high tower the town spread out under them, like it was bowing before them. She swallowed. "Ya know…Roxas talked to me today."

Pence turned to her, lips bright blue, looking curious and interested with his eyebrows shooting up. Hayner flicked his gaze over to her once before shrugging nonchalantly. "So? Why should I care?"

"Probably because you miss him like hell, you douche. Don't act so tough, I know you cried when Roxas never showed to that tournament."

"Shut the fuck up Olette," Hayner growled, eyes burning and narrowed. "You don't know what you're talking about. I did not _cry_."

"On the inside," she teased, dropping it now that she had his full attention. "Well, so like I was saying. He like just sort of came up to me and was like 'Hey, I'm really sorry I, like, fucked up and was a little preppy stoner bitch for an entire year and I really wish things were different.' And then he was like, 'I'm sorry I never said so before but, yeah, I'm really sorry.'" She nodded, taking another bite of her popsicle. "I think he really meant it."

Pence hummed, looking taken back but nodded with her, surprised smile forming on his face. "I've missed Roxas. I never tried to talk to him again because I thought he didn't want to talk to me. Huh. Maybe I should've tried to anyway. Maybe he didn't know how to, like, act around us after that and then it just went to shit."

"OR MAYBE," Hayner interrupted loudly. "Maybe he just thought he was too cool for you and said 'see ya!'. Because, you know, that's sort how I see totally ditching your real friends to go to some party and get drunk and then never talk to you again. Maybe, just maybe, he might have left because he's a little jerk and wanted to be Mr. Popular." He bit off a piece of his ice cream angrily. "Whatever. I don't care."

"Hayner!" Olette sighed, frustrated and mimed choking him. "I don't know why I bother with you! I really do not! If you want Roxas to be your friend again why don't you just do something about instead of whining all the time. Seriously!"

Pence looked over at him, nodding in agreement. "Seriously."

"SHUT. UP."

---

Being at home….was boring mostly. He wasn't about to spring his and Sora's friendship back onto his mom so soon, sure she would flip out, so they couldn't really hang out together. This…left him alone with his thoughts a lot.

And when Roxas was left alone to his own devices, thoughts of Axel inevitably popped up. And the more and more time that passed thinking these thoughts of him, the more Roxas started to loathe himself, cursing his actions every chance he got.

He was so stupid, such an idiot. It was like he went out of his way to screw things up. It was his major goal was to leave things more damaged than it was when he got there. And damn, he was good at that.

Roxas sighed and leaned back on his bed, half of his body going off the bed and hanging over. He felt the blood start rushing to his head and frowned, observing his room from the different perspective. From lack of anything better to do, he decided to rearrange his bed and desk around. This kept him occupied for one hour.

And the he was back to laying upside down on the edge of his bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking of Axel again.

Bored, he wondered what the redhead was doing right now and figured that maybe he was in….Seattle. Yeah. Seattle. There's a good music scene there, Roxas mused. He would enjoy the many music places and the general vibe of the place. He heard that Seattle was a very cool place, rainy and had a high suicide rate, but very cool. He was sure Axel would like it there, would make friends.

….But eventually he would leave, the wanderlust in him rising up, the road beckoning him to her.

In Roxas's daily daydreams about the tall man, he never stayed in the same place for too long, due to the fact that Roxas didn't want to think about Axel settling down. He didn't want to envision him with someone who triumphed where he failed, who was better than Roxas in every way possible. Cuter, taller, funnier, and didn't mess up as much as he did.

Because in Roxas's daydreams, Axel would forget about him, would move on and wouldn't let some blond kid get under his skin. Because Axel was a good person and was a great catch and no one would pass him up if given the chance. Because Axel deserved a little good for all the bad Roxas gave him, for all the bad he'd gotten. It calmed him and hurt him to think of someone else keeping him warm at night.

Axel of course, would forget about him, would move on. But Roxas? He'd always keep that memory of hot summer days and cool summer nights and he didn't think he could find anything like that again. _First love always sticks with you_, Sora told him once. _You'll always remember and you'll always love them on some level just because of the memory. _

Axel may have forget him, but forgetting Axel was…Roxas sighed, turning over until he could get off the bed and went over to his book bag. He had some homework, he remembered. He might as well do it now.

Because Roxas… He didn't think he could ever not love Axel.

---

The next week after Roxas's quick apology to Olette, he grew enough backbone and courage to approach the next spot up on the totem pole; Pence.

He was a quirky kid, prone to hang around the art rooms a lot and having loud conversations in the hallways or he was taking pictures of people who were trying to get to their classes. Whatever he was doing, he always seemed to be attracting attention and Roxas's attention was drawn to him too. He saw him always out of the corner of his eye. He figured that approaching Pence would be easier than Olette just because se seemed as friendly as Roxas remembered.

But it wasn't.

Repeatedly Roxas would go to talk to him, head straight for him but at the last second, he would change his course of direction and walk past him, hoping the other teen didn't think he was weird. The blond, couldn't help but mentally freak out a second before he did it, anxiety getting the best of him. It was hard to talk to ex-friends, especially when he thought they didn't like him.

So he didn't see it coming at all when Pence walked up to him one day out of the blue, congenial smile on his face. "Hey, Roxas. Mind if I take your picture?" He held up the camera in question. Roxas, stunned, nodded. Flash here, flash there and the teen removed his eye from the lens. "It's for this art thing I'm doing. I'm making a few pictures of people and their lockers-- hey, can I take a picture of your locker too?-- to, like, talk about the connections people have with their stuff, how they decorate it, what they decorate it with. And how it reflects on their person." He took several snapshots of Roxas's locker, filled with odd pictures of Sora and him, band posters and stickers they both liked.

Pence nodded at his college, taking in the objects. He glanced over at Roxas, locked eyes with him. "From the way you put your pictures all over each other and in this pattern I can tell," he let out a deep breath and looked pointedly at him. "That your extremely regretful about your past mistakes and want to do some serious damage control but aren't very sure how to go about it. I can also tell that you've realized what a douche you've been and are trying to make up for that."

Roxas stood still, stunned at Pence's quick analysis. "You…You got all that from my locker?"

The chubby boy shrugged exaggeratedly. "From your locker, from Olette. It's all the same," he laughed, cherry face smiling at him. "But yeah," he coughed, switching over into his serious mode. "Um, I'm really glad to see you got out of all that stuff. I was sort of keeping tabs on you, I dunno, just keeping one ear to the ground and I gotta say, I was really worried there."

"Yeah, well," Roxas grimaced, wondering what Pence knew. "At least you don't have to be anymore. Like you said, I'm done with all that. I've learned my lesson."

"Good, good. Well, me and Olette are cool with you. Like, I would love to be your friend again, man. We've missed you. Just not the same. But uh," he scratched at his forehead, wincing. "Yeah. Hayner."

"Hayner." Roxas saw the look on Pence's face. "Does…Does he hate me?"

Pence was shaking his head rapidly almost before the question came out, leaning on the locker next to Roxas's. School was let out, everyone milling about. "NO, nononono. You see," he searched for the word. "He…yeah he sort of hates you," Pence deadpanned. "BUT. Olette and me think he's just really torn up over you, ya know, like ditching us. Kinda hit him hard. That was a low blow by the way. Not coming to the tournament. I don't know if you know this but Hayner threw the match. He was really worried about you and tried to find you."

Roxas felt his gut sink, eyes widening at the information. Hayner threw a match? No way. He lived for those Struggle tournaments! "He did that?"

The teen nodded wisely. "Yeah… He really cares about you, man. In that way of his. Just doesn't like showing it 'cause he thinks he's a tough guy." Pence smiled and shook is head minutely. "Whatever. What was I gonna say, oh yeah. We think that if you talked to him, everything would be fine. He might like, punch you, but it'll be fine after that I promised, he rushed to say when Roxas paled, thinking of Hayner beating him up.

The blond sighed, running a hand through his hair nervously, looking up with hopeful eyes. "You really think so?"

"Well. We're about to see," Pence clicked his tongue and then Roxas blinked confusedly he explained, all nonchalant; "Me and Olette set it so he would he walking down here riiiiight aboooout now." He snapped his fingers and pointed somewhere behind him. "Good luck." As Roxas turned to look, Pence scampered away, laughing hysterically before he waved and turned a corner.

"What the fuck?" Roxas heard behind him, footsteps nearing closer and closer in a slow lazy walk. "PENCE! Where're you going?! Weirdo."

It was Hayner Mitchell.

It was like everything went into slow motion. Second stretched as Roxas turned around, not believing his ears but content to find out visually and Hayner slowly spotted Roxas and his eyes grew as they both saw each other.

Then everything sped up, Roxas turned fully around and was only a foot away form his former best friend whom he hadn't even been in the same room in for a year. He watched as Hayner went from startled to confused to angry to exasperated and then into angry again.

"What the hell is this?" he demanded, throwing his arms out wide and taking short breaths, getting angry quick. "What're you doing here? Why were you talking to Pence? Are you fucking kidding me?" Every word that came out of his made him angrier and he exhaled his breath form his nose, reminding Roxas of a bull. "What the hell do you think you're doing Roxas. I thought it was pretty clear that we, all of us," he corrected himself. "Are not friends. You've made that perfectly clear, you jackass."

Roxas started, physically taken back by Hayner's angry rant, blinking, astounded. "Is…Is this the part where you punch me in the face?"

The odd question from Roxas, not the angry retort Hayner expected, caught him off guard, made him pause in confusion, brow turning into a deep V. "_What_? Do you want to _fight_?"

"NO." The thought horrified him. Hayner would wipe the floor with him. "I just… I dunno! I figured as soon as you got your hissy fit over with I could tell you how sorry I was that… just about the whole year…." when Hayner didn't come forward to hit bit remained where he was, shoulder tense and hands tightening into a ball, Roxas continued hesitantly. "I… I just thought you wouldn't like me anymore when you found out I was gay so I just thought…ya know? Nip it in the bud? I just didn't want to deal with that and so I completely deserted the entire situation.

"Look, man. I'm sorry. I know I fucked up. I do it a lot. But I am sorry for that. You know? I didn't mean to fuck everything up."

"But you did," Hayner glared.

"Yeah I did, "Roxas admitted, nodding. "Now I'm making up for it. You used to be my best friend, since what? First grade?"

"Kindergarten," the taller teen supplied, eyes still wary but hands no longer in fists.

Roxas smiled. Maybe Pence was right. "Since kindergarten. I know it'll never be the same---"

"And why not?" Hayner glared, affronted. "You're gonna say you're sorry and not do anything beyond that? Seriously?"

"Well, what Hay? You wanna hang out and be buddy-buddy?"

"Yeah!" Hayner leaned in; eyebrow raised like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Yeah, I do."

What a turn of events, Roxas thought, blinking stupidly. "O-ok. We can do that."

"Yeah we fuckin' will," the teen nodded, satisfied look coming over his face. "You still skateboard."

"No…But I still have my board!"

Hayner smiled, genuine smile and Roxas wondered if it could truly be this easy, if everything could truly be so simple and that he could really fix things that he thought were so broken. "Just as good. It's easier than riding a bike; you'll be as good as you used to be in no time. That is," he grinned. "Not as good as me."

Roxas laughed, easily, remembered how they used to joke like this, remembering how it used to be second nature to compare themselves to each other and how they were rivals but also best friends.

As Hayner's walls started crumbling down, a year of jealousy and hurt and bitterness being swept away at the prospect of having his best friend back, they both thought the same thought about the awkward turn of events.

_AWESOME. _

---

Hanging out with Sora was tricky and Roxas had to go about it like a spy, like a secret agent going out to meet his informant for details but in his case, he was really going to meet his friend for some coffee and to talk about everything and nothing. Three weeks into the school year and Roxas felt like he really accomplished something.

He was close with Hayner, Pence and Olette again, hung out with them at the skate park, getting his mojo back. He was still on the straight and narrow, hadn't touched anything bad for three months now. He sometimes ran in the afternoons with Sora, although he mostly did a fast walk. Roxas also told Kairi where she could shove it today, something he was very proud of.

So the blond was in a general good mood, happy and smirking as he relayed the details to Sora who gasped and applauded him in all of the right places. He was in such a good mood, mellow and relaxed with a hint of satisfied, that he remarked a cool looking coffee mug, black and came with a stick of chalk to write on it in a way he wouldn't have usually.

"Ah! Look at this! This is so cool. Axel would have fucking loved this," Roxas said, amazement in his voice and a big smile on his face as he tried it out, drawing a little heart on it.

Sora scrunched up his face, taken back at the name and running it through his mental list of people he knew. No dice. Smile confusedly, wondering who Roxas knew and he didn't, Sora asked. "Uhhh….who's Axel?"

Roxas froze, didn't even register when the name popped out his mouth. He kind of thought that he said in his head. Hearing it from Sora's mouth was a shock. "Wha--what?"

"Axel. You said her name."

"Um. Axel… Axel is a boy…," he slowly said, trying to figure out what to do quickly.

"Oh. Sorry. You said _his_ name." Sora smiled, not knowing he just landed on a land mine in Roxas's head. "Who is he?"

Right then, after he just remarked about all the good stuff he'd done, Roxas didn't feel like keep it from his friend, didn't want to keep it locked up forever and ever anymore. He was ready to admit aloud finally, have it acknowledged. "He….he's a guy I met while I was in Arizona."

The brunette leaned in excitedly, eager for more. "Ooooh. A guy. Tell me all about it."

So Roxas did. He told Sora about his summer as a whole. From the plane ride to the landing to the motel. To Yuffie to being bored and hot and miserable to that fateful night Axel showed up in two in the morning.

Sora smiled brilliantly as Roxas detailed their second meeting, laughing and frowning as the blond told him what was said. He didn't leave out the details, really told him things he only thought at the time. Sora frowned deeply when Roxas talked about how Axel went out of his way to try to make it better, only to have it thrown right back into his face.

Saying it, the blond felt his throat constrict, especially when he started talking about how everything turned around. Things like how Axel always took him out to watch the sunsets and how he was funny and like music a lot and about his car, Lucy, of all things. When telling him about the trip they took to Flagstaff, which he had almost forgotten about, made him want to laugh and cry when he thought about it.

His friend, too, looked like he was getting emotional as well, ecstatic when Roxas was smiling about how they sent every day together, just hanging out most days and about how cute Axel was sometimes and then so sad when Roxas told him about all the tings he told Axel, stuff he hadn't even told the brunette. It was a crazy whirlwind of feeling, changing with every word.

He was especially charged when Roxas told him about the phone call, about how he yelled at Axel, not thinking, of course, he never fucking thought at all. Sora looked like he wanted to freak out at that part, wanted to cry when the teen told him how he realized that Axel had left, just like that and he hadn't heard from him since.

"What the hell?" Sora cried out when he was finished. "I-- I thought it was going to be a happy story and you just stone wall me with that? What happens next?"

Confused, Roxas smiled patiently at him. "I came home and that's that. Nothing can happen. Nothing will. Some things…" he sighed. "Some things aren't meant to be I guess."

Sora huffed, falling back into his chair and looking overwhelmed. "Oh shit. What a story. I feel like I just read every teen summer book. Except for, you know, the fact that you're two dudes and the lack of a happy ending. That was a terrible story, Roxas."

"Sorry! You wanted to know. And besides happy ending only happen in fairy tales," Roxas averted his gaze, looking out the window. He sort felt like he was completed and yet there was hole in his heart. "And this is real life."

---

It was around two months after Roxas started school again and this time found Axel on the road again.

It was different this time around though. He didn't move around city to city for his own selfish reasons but because the band demanded it. In every city they went in, they performed. At first just around the northern states but they made their way down, stopping in at all the big cities and the bigger little cities. Watch the first few show's Axel felt like he was out of his league. The sound of the band when he left it and their sound now were on two different levels.

He felt he was on a different level. A lesser one.

Floored by the charismatic performances Axel dutifully learned all the songs, practicing nearly all the time, mostly on the road, which either prompted the others to join him or tell him to shut up. As he learned the notes, he also learned the lyrics and noticed that quite a few were about him, about the past two years. His favorite, besides Meccas which was one of the three that gained air time, was _Forget it, I'm done_ which was an angry 'screw it' song that expressed the sheer frustration Demyx experienced during the two years without a word from his redhead friend.

_Spend days, spend nights, spend every last second of bright light,_

_Looking, searching, I've forgotten what I wanna find. _

_There's a fine, fine line you don't cross and it's been crossed, fucker! _

_What am I supposed to do?_

_Am I supposed to sit here, am I supposed to wait for you? _

_You wanna know the truth?_

_Forget it, I'm done! I'm calling it quits, I was never gonna win!_

_I've spent way too many days, too many nights, spent every last second of never lasting bright light_

_Looking, searching, all the while forgetting what I wanna find. _

_You've crossed this line, I'm not gonna give you more time, try, just try. _

'_Cause fuck it all, I'm done!_

Axel could totally relate to the song, understood his anger even though now the singer was somewhat embarrassed by it. "It just," Demyx sighed, trying to explain. "I was just angry. It doesn't really fit me anymore, you know? I like it, it's a good song but I just feel like I'm passed that. I feel like I'm miles away from that whole CD."

"Well, then," Axel smiled, sitting in the passenger, feet propped up on the dashboard of the van they were using. He would never do a thing in Lucy. "We better start making a few more songs."

Demyx laughed, keeping an eye on the road. "Yeah, well you get on that. Give us a story about the cities you've been to. We'll call the CD; Tales From The Modern Nomad."

They shared a laugh then, joking, but days later Axel was seriously considering it. Two months in he was starting to write lyrics in-between practicing, actually playing at the gigs (a feat, he would admit. He was so nervous to perform that he messed on notes he knew like the back of his hand.), driving to their shows, and somehow fitting sleep in there too. Getting sleep in was hard.

He liked writing the lyrics. Admittedly, most were crap and worthless but more he got into the better the song. Back when they started out their songs were shallow, worthless, and about nothing. Now he felt like there was substance, meaning behind the. They weren't songs that were made to be songs. They were songs that were meant to tell a story, to give a warning, to say 'yeah, fuck you'.

Axel wrote a lot of 'fuck you' songs lately.

He couldn't help it. That was just where he was at right now. He wanted to shell out the hurt he felt accordingly. And there was a lot to go around. It at least helped his performances, made him hit the strings and pluck the notes with the right emotion. Roxas was on his mind a lot and the only way he really know how to deal with was to write it down.

Axel couldn't really explain the things he felt half the time about the boy. One second he'll miss the teen like hell, the next curse his name. He hated, loathed, despised, and loved him from the very pit of his heart. Axel sometimes had dreams about him, smiling in the sun, doing random shit like giving him a piggyback ride, and wake up wondering where Roxas was. It was like a stab to the face when he realized where he was.

Demyx was little help. He encouraged the writing but wasn't too good at giving advice on the matter. He was just as frustrated as the redhead, angry he didn't have the answers to hand out.

Whenever he had time to think Axel tried to not think about Roxas but the more he tried to not think about him, the more he thought about him so eventually he just gave up, brain hurting at the effort.

One night it slowly dawned on him that he'd never feel for anyone how he felt about Roxas. Never as hard or as passionate ever again. Axel figured that maybe he was broken now. Incapable of loving to the same extent. How could he? He gave his heart to the kid, given freely, happily and he had it stomped on. Love… it just didn't work out well for him.

Besides, anyone would else would never match up to Roxas, even with what he did, even though Axel hated him most the time, no one could re-take the part of his heart that Roxas resided in.

Unfortunately, he would always remember his greatest love and the worst heartache.

Days later after he thought this, in Salt Lake City finally but for a show instead of visiting, the band stopped at a convenience store in town. While Axel was looking at their different postcards, Demyx was going up and down the aisle's, looking for toothpaste or something.

The singer paused in one aisle, taking in the notebooks, packaged crayons and pencils and pens and folders and erasers and thinking, nope not here. He examined a package of crayons anyway, wondering if he should get them because he got really bored on their road trips most the time. And then it hit him like car.

"OH MY GOD."

Axel looked up, not too alarmed by Demyx's outburst and casually walking over, looking bored. "What? You find Barbie printed pajamas you wanna wear?"

Demyx face flamed. "Dude. Shut up! You!" He pointed a finger at his friend who jumped as it was thrust in his face. "You are so stupid! Oh my god. Roxas! Roxas is sixteen!"

Axel shot him a dirty look. "Yeah, Dem. We've been over this. I'm a dirty pervert whatever. I know, I know, I know. Stop rubbing it in."

The blond was breathing heavily, unsure what to do with himself, especially his hands. He ended up waving them around a lot. "NO! I mean, yes! But--but! You're an idiot! Roxas is sixteen! He's a kid! Doesn't he have to go to _school_?!"

The redhead furrowed his brow, the information taking time to sink in. Demyx could se the process on his face. It went form serious confused and slightly disturbed to wondering, thinking, and then it was like a bulb went off, comprehension dawning on him much like it did his friend.

"He had to go to school, Ax. Doesn't it like start in August? That's around the time he yelled at you. He must have known he had to leave, leave you, and freaked out or something. But you left so you never got the chance to know!" Demyx clapped his hands together, leaning in to looked axle in the eyes. "I bet he still loves you, man…."

It must have occurred to Demyx just as it did Axel that it was a bad thing since he didn't call out when Axel turned around and walked away silently. He walked to the other edge of the store before collapsing against the wall, stunned stupid.

If…if that was true, and granted it was a long shot, if it was true then Axel walked out on what was the best thing in his life. If he had just stayed a little longer than maybe…Axel clenched his eyes tightly, massaging his forehead. There were no maybe's, no what if's. Just what happened's. Roxas was prone to freaking out and so was Axel. Oh, god, did he fuck up. They both fucked up.

Axel sighed, a sad, heavy breath and glanced over to the postcard he still had in his hand. He stared at it for a long, drawn out moment.

Axel had an idea.

Several minutes later, when the other band mates were waiting for Axel to hurry up, already because they had to leave, the tall redhead had emerged from post office and jogged to the van. Larxene, slightly annoyed she had to wait so long pushed on the gas every time Axel reached for the knob. When she finally stopped, laughing so hard she cried, Axel jumped in. He wasn't angry, in fact he was quiet satisfied with himself, if a bit nervous.

Axel sent one longing look at the post office, hoping, hoping, hoping.

* * *

AH! Chapter Fourteen! I made up the song mentioned in this chapter. Okay, so I'm super happy i finaly got to do some justice to a KH chick. I think Olette is super cool. I always have. In real life i think she'd be just as tough as all the boys and tougher. she has to be, she runs with jerks like hayner and has to deal with his time of the month moods. I also love writing teenage conversation. THIS IS HOW I TALK TO MY OWN FRIENDS. We wail verbally at eachother like that all the time. I also think Sora is very wise. Pence was really influenced by this guy I know who talks just like how I wrote Pence's speech. He's super(annoying)!

ANYWAY. ok so the soundtrack is finished and i think it's perfect, has all the right songs that influenced this story and made an appearance, and in the right order, you'll know what im talking about!, and all that good stuff. I post it up for download next chapter. UM, I NEED SOME HELP. How do you do those snazzy little shortcuts? like the ones in blue and lead you to the right site but have normal text in them instead of the url? I need one of those so if you got the know-how TELL ME, cause I have no idea. I wanna put it up in my profile so there'll be easy access to it.

AND! Guys, SB's comin' to a close. jeez oh flip. the next chapter gonna be the last chapter. And then its _done_. I can't believe it. BUT, what would be really awesome is if Summer Boy could reach 150 reviews when it's done. It might be over ambitious but I would be insanely grateful if we could somehow pull it off. C'mon, guys, it's the second to last chapter. So if you've never reviewed before please do so now. If you don't have a usersname that's cool, you can make one up, its super easy! To those of you that've been reviewing every single freaking chapter, I think you guys are so cool and whenever i get one of your messages I smile so big.

SO PLEASE REVIEW! Pretty please, with sugar on top?


	15. Finale, And Love Will Always Find A Way

Happy reading guys. Enjoy it.

* * *

Summer Boy

Two years passed.

Two winters, two springs and one summer flew past him just like, yet unlike, all the rest. For Roxas, each season was like a small victory, each month a small battle he won, each day a day he didn't cave to peer pressure, didn't light up a joint with old acquaintances, didn't randomly hook up with people he wouldn't know the names of in the morning. He was proud of himself, eighteen and having a vantage point most of his peers lacked, getting lost in a high and not knowing _how_ to live their life.

Two years gave him three more inches, slowly gained, a little more muscle definition in his arms and legs from actually participating in gym class. Two years made him smarter, wiser, getting good grades and bumping up his GPA. Two years and Roxas still has the same haircut

Two years and things couldn't be better and besides from maybe wanting to relive them, he wouldn't want to change a thing from his junior or senior year. Things were great, really, really great, and that was his first thought when he woke up, the morning after he walked with the rest of his graduating class and accepted his diploma.

Two years… how time flies.

---

For Roxas, a month into his junior year, if he were to somehow find a genie and get three wishes, he wouldn't have any to fulfill. He had his friends back, his mom more or less trusted him and was becoming proud of the way he acted lately, he and his dad talked regularly, and he was getting a B+ his Algebra 2 class.

Hayner balked at his grade, huffing indignantly as he childishly tried to hide his C+ grade from Roxas's prying eyes. "No way, man," the taller blond grumbled and crossed his arms, slightly embarrassed by the fact Roxas was smarter than he was. "Grades are bull anyway. When am I ever gonna use this shit anyway?"

"You'll use it today, tomorrow and then the next day," Roxas smartly replied, smiling at Hayner's huff and subsequent glare. He folded the piece of paper and put in a folder within his binder for his math class. "You'll do it as long as you need to so you can walk at then end of the year."

The blond again huffed, rolling his eyes. "The school can go fuck itself. All I care about is the Storm Rider scouts that are gonna be at the next Struggle." Hayner looked at his friend, eyebrows raised expectantly. Roxas made a small distracted noise of interest as he put away his binder, shoving it forcefully into his backpack and then frowning when it didn't fit right.

When Hayner loudly sighed, exasperated, Roxas turned curiously and saw Hayner was frowning; upset pout in his lips he got whenever he thought people weren't paying enough attention to him. Confused, Roxas was taken back, blinking. "What?"

"Well?!" Hayner demanded to know, even though he hadn't asked a question. His brown eyes widened, questioning. "You gonna sign up?"

Oh. _So that was it_, Roxas idly thought, mentally rolling his eyes. Mentally because Hayner would flip if he saw Roxas roll his eyes at the subject of _The Struggle Tournament_. While he himself once thought the world of the tournament, not skating for a year had changed his view of it and he did not base his entire year around the competition as Hayner did.

A week ago (was it really only a week ago? It seemed like a lifetime had passed.) Hayner was right in saying that even Roxas's top form was below his. And it was true. Hayner practiced skating everyday, would practice all day if he didn't have to go to school and, ya know, sleep, and it showed. He made hard tricks look simple, ease in his movements as if he'd been doing them since he was a kid. Hayner made Roxas look like a poser.

"Nah," he laughed, shaking his head at the incredulous idea of him signing up for a tournament, especially when skateboarding was nothing like riding a bike and he was relearning tricks he used to be able to land easily a year ago. "You know I'm not ready for anything like that, Hay. You just wanna see me fall on my face."

"Yeah, well, while that's always fun, I see it everyday so," Hayner laughed, grinning at Roxas's glare. "So no. But seriously, just sign up. I'll still be your friend even if you place last."

The junior groaned, imagining the pure embarrassment of being last in a competition of a hundred or more. That meant that while you didn't _suck_, a hundred people were better than you were. Not too great for the ego. "I would _die_. Now I definitely don't to do it!"

"Do it anyway!"

"No! Why don't you get Pence to do it with you or something?" Roxas griped, frowning seriously now. He really didn't want to go now, talking about messing up making him think he was actually going to mess up.

"Pence is already going," Hayner informed him smugly. "He signed up so you have to sign up."

"That makes no sense at all. I do not understand your logic."

"You just gotta sign up, Roxas. I'm gonna bitch about it until you do."

And bitch about it he did.

Not a day passed that Hayner didn't reference the tournament in some way at least three to four times. Math class--now that Hayner got his schedule switched around--once being one of Roxas's favorite classes was steadily becoming one he loathed with a passion. And if it wasn't enough for Hayner to yap all day about it, as the time to sign up started to dwindle, it was all Pence and Olette could talk about too. It was always; whatshisface is going and whatshername will be there and Rooooxasssss you _have_ to go!

The breaking point came when Sora, Sora who didn't even really know what the Struggle was, told him, with a stern face, that he should sign up. _That_ was when Roxas realized that he was really actually going to have to participate in the tournament. If _Sora_ was getting involved, he knew things were going to get out of hand quick.

So that was how he found himself at the sign up board on the very last day, scrawling his name in barely legible script for something that would change his life.

---

To understand how exactly signing up for something he didn't even want to do managed to set things in motion, how it managed to send forth the marble with such force that it would knock over the cup, that would fall on the pump that would blow air into the miniature windmill that would conduct enough energy to open the hatch to a cage so a little white mouse would scamper forth to press the button that would begin things, was extremely hard, even for Roxas who saw it with his own eyes and lived through it all.

But it did.

---

Roxas daily schedule was this; he would wake up at seven, take a shower and get dressed. At seven forty, Sora would come pick him up in his dad's old car, since his father got a new one, so that they would make it to school on time. From eight to three, Roxas would be in school.

Some days after school, Roxas would hang out at the skate park, which was starting to become one of his favorite places again, with Hayner, Pence and Olette and others he would spend with Sora, messing around, doing homework, or just talking at Roxas's house. But most days, Sora would hang out with them at the skate park, video tapping their tricks. That was, of course, if Riku wasn't in town or if Sora wasn't making an impromptu trip to Traverse. They were steadily Not Together, but Sora didn't date anyone else and he was sure Riku was in Twilight Town too much to have someone on the side. If you asked Roxas, they were just beating around the bush and one of them would cave sooner rather than later.

And everyday after doing whatever he would pick up the mail for his mom who always, without a doubt, forgot about it.

Another month had passed and Hayner had Roxas on a strict skateboard everyday, rain or shine, schedule so he would be in shape for the Struggle tournament in November. This left him sore and aching, purpling bruises developing _everywhere, _on his shoulders, on his shins, on his sides, one on his elbow. He was sweaty, tired mess after spending hours at the park and after he slowly skated back home, all he ever wanted to do was crash on his bed.

Today, after falling one too many times for his liking, Roxas kicked up his board and collected the mail, too tired to look through it. He opened the door, muttering a tired hello to his mother's enthusiastic one and tossing the mail onto the counter, not giving it a second glance, more interested in stomping up the stairs to fall asleep.

The next morning, Roxas rolled over, blinking his eyes opened tiredly. He briefly acknowledged the light shining through the blinds before rolling back over into the warm comfort of his blankets. He sighed contently. A bird chirped.

Blue eyes shot open as he started. Light shining through the blinds, a bird chirping, he still in bed when it was, he saw with horrified eyes, seven thirty-four! "Oh shit!" Roxas exclaimed, checking his clock to make sure it was the right time, that he really did over sleep, that his alarm was really not on and he was running late.

Quickly, he decided his plan of action, forgoing a shower for jumping into fresher clothes on the floor and spraying himself a few times with cologne. Roxas grabbed his shoes and ran down the stairs, picking up his backpack on the way. A beep from outside sounded and Sora was there, waiting for him while Roxas pulled on his shoes, tying them hastily slung his backpack across his shoulder and picked up his board and another school book just as Sora pushed on his horn again, this time impatiently. He was ready to go.

"Roxas!" Daisy called and Roxas sighed slowly, eyes flying to the sky in his incredulity and utter lack of time.

His mother stepped into the foyer, piece of paper in her hands that she waved about. "This came in the mail for you. I don't know who it's from and--" she was cut off abruptly when her son snatched the paper, sticking it into his pocket hastily.

"Thanks mom, no time," Roxas said, waving to her as he swung open the door and all but running to the car, sighing in relief when he closed the door and Sora drove off. It was only seven forty-four.

They made it to school only two minutes before the tardy bell rang due to some traffic light that had it out for student that were running late. Sora and Roxas spent no time on goodbyes, speeding off at a pace that was not school appropriate to their first hour. The blond teen made it into his English class _just_ before the bell rang, sighing yet again in relief.

He didn't even remember the piece of paper he pushed into his pocket until his second hour when it all but stabbed into him when he tried to sit down. Wondering what the hell was in his pocket, Roxas took it out. It was bent all over now, crinkles deforming its former rectangular shape and creases marring the picture on the front. Blond eyebrows furrowed together in confusion as he read the front while his U.S. History Teacher started on a long monologue.

Greetings from Salt Lake City.

Roxas raised his eyebrow at it, deep frown developing on his face. He flipped it over, wondering if someone mailed it to the wrong address or something. Maybe the mail carrier messed up and his mom read it wrong. No dice. On the back of the thick, bent paper his name was written neatly, address beneath it.

There wasn't a greeting on the back, no hello, or how have you been? It didn't say; Hey, It's your long lost cousins from Salt Lake City! The back side was….blank. Nothing besides the prompt of _your message here _in small print at the very bottom.

Roxas flipped it back and forth between the front and back several more times and after that failed to give him answers, the teen tucked the card into the front pouch on his backpack.

Even though he appeared to pay attention in his classes, notebook out, pencil in hand, Roxas spent the rest of the school day trying to figure out who the hell he knew in Salt Lake City.

The teen promptly forgot about it however, when he fell off his board five times too many after school. Nothing like physical and mental pain as a distraction.

---

It was days before he thought about the Salt Lake City postcard again. In fact the next time he thought about the Salt Lake City postcard was when he received one from, mysteriously, Dinosaur, Colorado.

_Dinosaur_, Colorado.

The name of the city struck him so hard he was smiling widely, confusedly, at the card, laughter spilling out at the ridiculous name. Dinosaur? Really? That was….amazingly _awesome_. Roxas flipped the post card over and once again, there was nothing besides his name and address, in slightly less neat handwriting, as if it was rushed or a last moment thing.

One postcard from Salt Lake City and now one from dinosaur, both with his name on it.

But who did he know in any of those places?

Roxas had no clue. He was Roxas from Twilight Town, who the hell would send him postcards? His mother thought it might be Tracy, one of cousins that he was rather close to up until a few years ago and was now going to school somewhere in the west, she didn't know where exactly, but somewhere in the west. It was probably her. Well, who else could it be?

Who else could it be indeed. The teen accepted the suggestion easily, putting name to face, wondering just how Tracy was.

---

Another week later, Roxas got another postcard.

He was dead tired, four straight hours of playing road tag, which consisted off chasing each other in the roads on their boards, and smacking someone on whatever body part you could in order to not to be it. Hayner said some bull about it helping his stamina but Roxas figured he wanted to play it because he was crafty and could maneuver to escape your reach _every single time_.

So he was tired, legs like noodles, sweat cooling from the breeze as he slowly made his way home, dampening his shirt and forehead. The furthest things from his mind were the postcards he was getting presumably from his cousin. In fact when he took out the mail that evening he was thinking of the struggle tournament…and actually felt excited. He might completely wipe out in front of hundreds but at least he was doing it right? At least he was giving himself the chance to fail, he figured, absently going through the mail.

Loveland, Colorado.

Roxas stared at it, eyebrows rising and a taken back frown forming. Loveland? Sounded like some cheesy romance movie starring a quirky brunette and a hunky jock that inevitably fall in love at the very last minute. He snorted, shaking his head slightly as he started to walk up to the door. Roxas flipped it over, not really knowing why but flipping it over all the same, maybe it was just instinct. When you got a postcard, you always flipped it over to see if anyone wrote you anything.

His old, beaten up, scarred skateboard clattered to the cobblestone walkway as he dropped it but Roxas hardly heard it, staring wide eyed at the simple white back of the card, pale line separating his name and address and the message.

_He felt Axel's breath on his neck, tickling, and the smooth touch of skin on skin as he moved to reach over him, grasping something at the nightstand. Roxas was laying on his stomach, eyes closed with one hand tucked underneath the firm pillow and the other lying close to his face. Axel's chest was warm and heavy against his back, all but sprawled over him now. _

_A pinpoint of pressure on the sensitive skin of the top of his hand made Roxas lazily open his eyes to find a pen marring his skin. Above him, Axel was concentrating intently on whatever he was drawing, wrinkle in his forehead. Roxas giggled and the redhead gave him a smile and a wink, bring his hand away to reveal;_

A small, slightly deformed heart, one side much larger than the other.

All at once, he knew.

How could he have not seen it before? How could he have thought it was anyone else? Why didn't he know at the very first one that it was Axel? He should have known! Who else but Axel would send him postcards? Who else would be traveling around that area? How could he have not known?!

The severity of this, his inability to see it was Axel, _Axel_, all along, and it meant floored him. Despite himself, despite everything that had happened, despite the fact that real life never had happy endings, Roxas started smiling and he felt his eyes start to water.

Axel. _Axel_. Even after all the things he said to him, even though he never got the chance to explain, even though they hadn't seen each other in months, Axel had somehow located him and for some reason felt the need to not cut the string between then, to not let go of him forever. Axel had found him and in this way, this little heart on a postcard of LOVELAND, Colorado had told Roxas not everything, but all he needed to know.

Axel, sweet, goofy, witty, funny, sexy, lovable Axel, still loved him, still thought of him, still cared enough to send these cards with nothing on them and with no purpose but to say, 'Hey, I'm still alive, I'm still out there, somewhere'. Axel, whose heart Roxas most likely ripped to shreds that day, wanted to send _postcards_ to him, with little hearts on it. Axel hadn't forgotten him, hadn't found someone else, hadn't let things die.

Maybe he felt the same way Roxas did, maybe he thought that, maybe, things could be fixed, maybe he wanted a second chance or wanted to give the teen one. Maybe he just wanted to say hi.

The door closed quietly behind him as Roxas stepped into the house, holding the postcard tightly and all but dropping everything else in his hands. He gazed at the misshapen heart longingly, reading his written name with new eyes, trying to pick up what he maybe hadn't before. Daisy called to him that dinner would be ready in thirty and how his day was and though Roxas didn't really care, he answered her back, slowly going up the steps and to his room, closing the door shut softly and leaning back against it, holding the postcard tightly to his heart.

It was beating erratically, wildly and his breaths were flutters, sighs escaping him. His chest felt like it was too small, something like hope beating through his veins as he found the last two postcards and pinned them to a large map he had rolled up in the back of his closet.

Roxas stared at the three postcards and the rest of the map with desperate eyes, wondering just where Axel would be next, where he would next drive to in his seemingly never-ending travels.

---

Olette needed help with her math. While she was great at English, history, and most of the time science she faltered when given formulas and equations and told to find angle A of a triangle.

And Roxas was the only who stand doing math, Hayner's lame excuse, and had the time, Pence's legitimate excuse, to teach the poor girl before her test the next day. It was a welcome break from going to the skate park everyday. The tournament was in two weeks and they didn't want to be too sore or fracture anything so they were cutting down time practicing.

"Thanks for doing this Roxas," she said, her Vans clapping against the sidewalk as they neared the end of the twenty-five minute walk to his house from school. They both didn't have their boards today. "Really. I just don't get any of it at all."

"Yeah, Mr. Yen Sid can sort of fly over your head. If you don't get one thing then it usually escalates."

"That's exactly how it is! He started going on and on about similarities and proofs and how to get angles and I'm just hopelessly lost," she complained, groaning. "I'm gonna fail the class I swear!"

Roxas laughed as he turned the corner, coming onto his cul-de-sac. "Nope. You got me. You'll get by with a passable C." Olette snorted and shoved him playfully. "I'm just kidding. I just got to, uh, get the mail," the teen nodded toward the mailbox. If it was a tradition before it had be come an obsessive-compulsive need now. He hadn't gotten a postcard in two weeks. "But you can go on ahead."

Olette nodded but continued his path. "That's okay; I'll just get it for you. Go open the door."

"Olette--"

"It's fine, Rox," she said as she opened the hatch, rolling her eyes as she took out a newspaper and several other items that Roxas couldn't immediately identify. He went to grab for it but she started going through his mail, which would be extremely rude were it anyone but Olette. Her eyebrows shot up as she held one up, smiling at him. "Oh hey! Your Dad sent you a cool postcard!" She flipped it over, looking over it in interest. "He lives in Phoenix, doesn't he?"

His father did most certainly not live in Phoenix. He would never need to travel to Phoenix. His father would not send him a postcard from Phoenix. Roxas's eyes flashed and he made for the card. Olette held it away, taken back by his sudden lunge. "What's your deal?"

"Just give it to me, Olette. It's mine," he bit out, turning angry fast as the intense urge to see whether something was written on the back or not, if Axel had chosen now to say something in words, anything tangible that would settle all the doubts that had formed in the past two weeks.

The brunette raised both of her eyebrows and slowly handed it to him, demand for an answer clear on her face. Roxas snatched it, Greetings From Phoenix on the front and two words, Hate Phoenix on the back. Just two words and though they didn't quite settle his worries it made him smile, envisioning Axel suffering under the heat and the town that he disliked immensely. He wondered briefly why he was there if he hated it. Maybe he went to Sedona again.

Olette was searching his face, standing awkwardly as he stared at the postcard he took from her so forcefully. He went from searching to joyfully happy to disappointed and then back to happy. A light flush reddening his cheeks, a look she hadn't seen before. He looked…flustered but amused. It was enough to make her raise both of her eyebrows. "Roxas?"

His blond head snapped up, blue eyes wide like he forgot she was there. Roxas glanced back quickly between her and the postcard, face darkening further as he realized how strange that exchange must have been to her. He blundered around, looking for the right words, not meeting her eyes in his embarrassment. "I, um, I just--Look, I'm sorry, it's just--I'm sorry."

"Yeah, okay that's cool, I believe you in all just…" Olette scratched at her cheek absently, scrunching up her face. "What the hell _was_ that? You just, like, went ape shit," she laughed, not feeling insulted or hurt but merely extremely curious.

Roxas's face flamed again. "It's nothing."

She snorted, rolling her eyes and started walking toward his front door. "Yeah, whatever, Rox. I know when someone's lying, especially when it's a bad lie. And Roxas--you're a bad liar," she said as she ascended the steps, Roxas right behind her bashfully. Her cool greenish blue eyes held no ferocity, no intensity, just calm interest that made it easy to talk her no matter what.

"You see," he said, biting his lip as he fiddled with his keys in the lock. "There was this guy…"

And Olette smiled.

---

Roxas figured that Axel was sending him postcards of his travels; something Olette thought was extremely romantic when he finished telling her the story. A little creepy and somewhat heartbreaking when you thought about it but there was undeniable romance there. The only thing was… that she just couldn't see how it could have a happy ending.

---

It was late November and in Twilight Town that meant that winter would fully encompass the entire town in a week or two, going from chilly to feet of snow as soon as the months changed over. Thus, it was the last chance to have a tournament before it got too cold and would be the last until spring rolled along. The tournament was held in Traverse this year as the Storm Rider label was hosting the event.

Which meant that Hayner had to finagle for his mom's car for the last two weeks, wheedling her resolve down until she relented, even if it was only to get him to stop asking about it everyday. Late November found Roxas and Olette lounging in the back seat while Hayner drove angrily and Pence controlled the radio, swapping Cds for another just after a few songs, on their way to the tournament.

(If Sora hadn't been grounded at the last second for the strange reason of being out too late when he came home at ten, he would have been there as well, bouncing excitedly because he was seeing his first ever skateboard tournament and knew people who were participating and because Hayner actually said he could come.)

Roxas was lying down boredly on Olette's lap, her feet propped up between the driver's seat and the passenger seat, bobbing to the rhythm of the music about forty minutes into the two-hour drive. Pence was flipping through his large own CD case, having already gone through Roxas's. When Pence made an excited noise, he turned around to explain, smile huge on his face. "My cousin made me this mix awhile ago of her favorite bands when she came home to visit awhile ago. I haven't had the chance to play it yet. Wanna listen?"

Olette roller her eyes, grinning. "Pence, even if we said no you'd still play it."

He laughed, turning around and pressing it to the player gently. "True, true. But she's pretty cool, she went to film school out in New York and saw most of these guys at concerts."

Hayner whistled. "New York, huh? Wow. That's a long way away from Twilight."

"Ain't it? She loves it there, went out as a mousy art geek and came back super chic," he told them, proud smile on his face as the first song started to fade in. _"I huff gasoline from your shirt," _it started, all distortion and blurry sounding lyrics. _"And blur the questions that no one could ever answer. I empty my head of all that I know. Seems like the best view is the one from below."_

"So who's gonna be there again?" Olette asked, feet bopping to the fast beat.

"_Seifer_," Hayner seethed, fingers clenching around the wheel, face contorted into instant anger.

"Jack and his girl Sally will be there," Pence calmly stated, looking out the window with interest and paying no attention to Hayner. "I hear Mulan was allowed back this year."

Roxas lifted his head up, frowning deeply. "Allowed back? When was she not allowed?"

Olette sighed, wide, unbelieving smile on her face. "Last year she entered in under a false name to get into the guys' division."

"She did really good," Pence enthused.

"Better than most of the guys," the brunette girl agreed with a sly smirk, pride in face. "She woulda been in the top five from her scores but she made a big scene in front of everyone about the fact that she was a girl and just as good as the guys, _better_ than the guys, and yet she wasn't allowed in their division. It was _awesome_," she groaned. "I totally worship the girl."

"So they banned her?" Roxas asked. "Can they do that?"

"Nope," the chubby teen happily replied. "That's why she's back this year. But she had to sign up in the girls division still."

"Which is utter bull because it's only ever a competition between her, Meg, and Tiana. It's not fair to completely block her like that. It's a complete utter lack of general----"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," the blond driving muttered, waving one hand in her direction. "We know already. Let it go. Storm Rider Scouts are gonna be there. She's gonna get picked up and then she'll be able to play with the boys all she wants. What really matters," he stressed, sighing angrily. "Is _Seifer_. I swear to god if he takes my spot _again _I'm never gonna come to these things again. I swear."

"You said that in June," Pence pointed out, referring to the summer tournament.

"And again in August at the Neverland tournament," Olette offered helpfully with a snide smile. "But here we are."

"Shut. Up. I never asked you for your input," he told her reflection in his rear view mirror. "I'm just sayin'."

"That if Seifer completely makes you look like fool again you're gonna flip out? Like that's new," Pence muttered under his breath.

A twitch developed in Hayner's eye. "What'd you say?!"

"I can't hear the music," Roxas interjected helpfully. "Turn it up." Slowly, Hayner moved his narrowed eyes back to the road and the blond saw Pence's arm move to turn the volume knob. The music grew louder in response, making the aggressive guitars even more prominent, the voice of the single ringing louder.

"_The city burns under its own fire," _the male voice sang bitterly, angrily and Roxas could envision the sneer on his face. _"Buckles under the pressure of angry fists. The city charts the course to its own expire, leaving its rotting residents. With your help we can travel to the moon, the city smiles. But they don't mean you, or you or you or you," _the singer angrily snarled. _"We just need your money, your sweat, and your strife, and then we can escape to the sky, escape into the sky, and escape this life."_

Olette frowned appreciatively, nodding her head. "Huh. It's actually pretty okay. I kinda like this song."

"Me too," Pence agreed whole-heartedly, happy to be on a different subject, especially one that Hayner wouldn't get into a mood about. "They have a cool sound."

"Who is it?" Roxas boredly asked, eyes closed. They were, as Olette said, pretty okay. But they were no Jupiter. He heard Pence flipping around in his CD case and could mentally see his brow wrinkling as he searched.

"Track four, track four….It's kinda hard to read…" he mumbled. "But it looks sorta like… The Nocturn--something. I can't read the last two letters. -- Cooolpa?" He elongated the last word into a question, unable to figure out how to pronounce it. "I dunno. It looks complicated."

"How's it spelled?"

"C. U. L. P. A," he named off.

Olette made a surprised noise, saying smartly, "It's _culpa_. It's like Latin or something. It means guilt. Don't ask me how I know; I'm just awesome like that."

Everyone laughed, turning up the music yet again, listening about burning cities, governments who invited their own collapse and, strangely, zombies who brought it all to the end. For the rest of ride, they talked about how nervous or excited they were, carefully walking around Hayner's own jumpy nerves, or about other stupid things about class or a movie they'd seen recently. Traffic wasn't too bad for being a Saturday so they were approaching Traverse sooner than expected; taking the turns that brought them closer and closer to their destination, to the tournament.

Their doors slammed loudly when they finally found a parking space as apparently everyone else had the same idea to come early. Closing his, Roxas felt his stomach climb up and plummet every few seconds, board feeling heavy in his hands, nerves all bundled up like string.

He laughed with everyone else at their own nervousness, saying that he didn't care of he did good or not, but secretly he hoped that he would do really, really well and blow everyone else out of the water. He entered, eyes wide with hope and the feeling that maybe he could actually be able to do this.

---

When they called his name, announcing him, Roxas had never felt so nervous, like he might throw up any second. He mounted the half pipe, prepared to fly, prepared for the gasps of people, amazed. He was prepared to win, to make the top ten, to do great and have his name on everyone's tongue.

He however, was not prepared to land his trick, losing his footing only seconds into his turn, face planting suddenly right onto the hard wood.

Roxas obtained the crowds gasp all right and his name was on their lips but not for the reason he wanted.

He placed last and went home with nothing but a busted lip, a bleeding nose, and possibly a concussion too.

Roxas pouted the entire way home, driving because Hayner complained he was too sore from going into the finals to drive, taking great care to playfully rub in Roxas's utter failure. It was almost midnight, the tournament just over and this time Hayner had beaten Seifer had took the spot right above him. There was no end to his gloating that drive back, only when Roxas turned up the music loudly did he give his mouth a break.

The blond driving took solace in the angry voice of track four's singer, going as far to play it again and again until the rest of the passengers demanded he let the song change. By the end of the drive, he liked the song so much he scrawled the lyrics on his arm to look up later. Spirits dampened, he bitterly thought, _at least I got _something_ out of it. _

---

Axel's head hurt. And he could hardly hear himself let alone anyone else. The thing is, he hardly cared. Utterly soaked in his own sweat, the lights shining on them were _scorching_, and tired and his fingers felt numb at the tips, but he honestly didn't really care. They had to drive all night to make it on time to their next gig which was scheduled stupidly but he didn't care about that either.

The venue was packed, maybe because one of their openers was local and very well known, but the matter of the fact was that it _stayed_ packed. Even after the main attraction, which stung to admit they weren't, were finished, people stayed to listen to them and didn't leave until their set was done. And after their set was done, and this was the part where Axel couldn't wipe the shit-eating grin off his face, they stuck around to buy their CD, to get a shirt, and tell say, 'Hey, you guys were good. We like you.'

Because it was one thing to perform. It was another to perform to people who like you, or to perform and make people like you.

He, and the rest of band, were in euphoria the rest of the ride from Tucson to San Diego. But unlike Demyx and Larxene, who were trying to get some hours of sleep in while their poor bassist was stuck driving, Axel was wide-awake, blood pumping too loudly in his ears to close his eyes.

Because when you had a great gig like that, you wanted to tell people, you wanted to phone home and gush about it and Axel was somewhat stunned when, shoving all of their equipment into their van, he thought, _god, I can't wait to tell Rox about this. _

It was like; he was happy, and then he had that thought and his chest just clenched horribly, a physical pain on his left side and his smile slipped from his face.

He'd sent four postcards, wanted to send twenty but thought that would be overkill. He didn't know if Demyx was right about Roxas, but he wanted to think so. He didn't know if they reached Roxas, but he like to think so. Axel didn't know if Roxas knew it was him but he like to think Roxas knew immediately, like some strange awareness. He didn't know he Roxas was throwing them away or not. And he didn't know if Roxas even cared at all.

He just had to hope that, against all odds,… that maybe things might work out.

The rumble of the engine and the road beneath him was keeping him awake, Axel told himself, sitting up. There was no way he'd get to sleep for at least awhile longer. The guitarist reached for his handy duffle bag, groping around blindly until he felt what he needed. His hand came out with a pen, a pad of paper and a flashlight he bought at a store a while ago. Usually inspiration struck him when he was sleep deprived and there were no outlets for a lamp so Axel had to make due.

The pen paused just before the paper as Axel had a moment of indecision before he just put down what he felt on the paper, his thoughts in dark ink on yellow line paper, scratching out something that felt real.

_There's nothing left to say now and words kill more on average than knives and guns and love and they sure as hell do more damage, _Axel wroteslowly and then faster, getting into the rhythm of it. _But there's a lot I wanna say and I'm not sure if you give a fuck but I'm gonna say it anyway. Ok? Ok. _

_Just call me up again. I'd be fine to just be your friend. Just call me once again… _the redhead paused, pen hovering right over the paper as he struggled with what to put. _Your friend? Your lover? Soul mate? _What was he to Roxas, at very least?

_Summer Boy._

---

The rest of November passed quickly, taking Roxas's bruises with it. December came with its chills and winds, snow falling only two days into the month, falling to the ground with a thick blanket of white. In the first week, Roxas caught a cold, which he sort of thought was funny when anyone said that. 'Caught' a cold, like you could really catch the microscopic virus. That was a pretty funny thought or maybe it was just the Dayquil and other medication he was on speaking. It felt like a chore to even sit up.

But he had nothing else to do, stuck at home all day. He sure as hell wasn't gonna do the homework his mom got for him and Roxas didn't want to lay in bed and sleep all the time. He felt better than the day before so… the blond looked around, trying to figure out what to do, silence soothing instead of being overly loud. He spotted his computer and it looked awfully lonely sitting on his desk.

Roxas sniffed, blew his nose loudly for a moment, before making his way over.

The sick teen wasn't too sure what he was going do when he got there, pushing the power button and waiting with a blank face as it slowly started up. He sniffed again, wiping the back of his hand under his nose as the welcoming noise sounded and he logged in, tapping out a random tune as everything loaded up, head, which felt heavy and clogged up, propped up on his other hand.

Automatically, his messenger popped up, signing him in, and his music player also loaded. Roxas clicked his tongue thoughtfully before picking up and setting down papers that littered his desk, look for, "Aha!"

The green piece of paper with a outline of a person dancing on it made him smile amusedly but it was really the plastic card that cheered him up because he now fifteen digital dollars to spend on whatever music related good he wanted.

The albums that were recommended due too his taste didn't seem worth the 9.99 price value no matter what the site said and the new albums that came out and the top ten songs to the side all looked like crap. _Jupiter_ hadn't made a new CD in years and he already had two of every one they had produced.

All of this left him still with $15.00 and nothing to spend it on. Roxas sniffed again, trying to think of any bands he liked. What was that one band he really liked? He wrote down somewhere…. Once again, Roxas lifted and moved the papers covering his desk space, searching for the piece of paper he scrawled the lyrics on hastily, squinting at his own skin to read the faded ink on his arm.

It was covered in green, blue, orange rings, left over from kool-aid spills but the words were readable enough so Roxas typed them into the search engine with a few clicktly-clacks and one final satisfied CLACK.

Several sites of the same thing popped up but Roxas didn't pay so much attention as to the results as he did the band name. THE NOCTURNAL CULPA, the very top site read, LOVELY ZOMBIES LYRICS.

Roxas nodded to himself, impressed and entered the artist name into the search bar in the iTunes store, excitement rolling in his stomach as he clicked the BUY button and watched as his money disappeared and the songs start to download. The album art pictured the band name in swirling letters printed on what appeared to be a dark, brick alleyway.

Given what little he knew about them and the meaning of their name he figured it was meant to be an innuendo. Which was pretty brilliant but kinda gross, Roxas thought, considering all things that happened in alleyways…. Roxas stropped thinking about it. Instead, he clicked on the one loaded song, instantly smiling as the singer's somewhat cocky voice filled his speakers.

With his measly five dollars now, Roxas had to call off his spending spree, now again without anything to do again. He blew his nose, throwing the tissue a close approximation to where his trash can resided, already filled to the brim with white tissues and went to go play video games.

He ended up liking the album so much he kept it on repeat for the next six hours.

---

It was a Saturday, just about seven days before Christmas. They just got out from school the day before, early since they only had three classes that day due to their finals. Uncharacteristically of late, Roxas was home, brooding. He wasn't sure why he was brooding but he had been since he woke up this morning and saw that it was snowing again. The teen moved to the window, saw the white landscape all around that blanketed houses, yards and the ice that encased the trees.

For some reason this made him very sad, deep throb in his chest at the sight. It sort of just hit him that it was winter. _Winter_.

It didn't feel like winter to him, it still felt like the summer sun coursed through his veins, like he still felt the heat on his back. His mind had still been in summer mode all this time even when it started to get colder and the leaves changed colors and fell off. Even when snow fell to the ground Roxas still felt like the sun should be shining and brilliant against a calm blue sky.

He still felt like he should be back in Sedona, kissing in the rain, in love, under the heat of the sun in a never-ending summer.

Roxas crumpled, face scrunching up as tears appeared from nowhere, sobs racking his body silently. It wasn't fair, it wasn't fair, why did it have to happen to him, why did the best of times have to fade into the past? Why did, just when things were happy and okay and just--- why did it all have to slip through his fingers? Why couldn't he just be happy? Why did Axel leave him… Why didn't he say anything on the postcards? _Why doesn't he just come to me himself? _The thoughts just spiraled from there, terrible thoughts of that day and what this meant or what that meant bloomed in his head and made him choke on his subdued cries.

Ten minutes later Roxas was red eyed, face blotchy but the clenched feeling in his chest was more or less gone and a numbness took over that made the teen lay back on his bed, looking up at the ceiling for the next hour, wondering if it was healthy to be this way, to keep holding on to what--to what he should maybe throw away. It's been months since they saw each other. How could things go back to normal when all that time passed? People change in five months, dramatically so…. Maybe it just wasn't worth it.

The Nocturnal Culpa had a perfect song for his thoughts right now, the perfect lyrics that summed up everything he felt. _Forget It, I'm Done! _was their title track and was so full of _power _it deserved to be. It was just so passionate, like Roxas could envision them thrashing on their instruments, could see the sweat glistening on them as they preformed their best for this song, honest _emotion_ behind it. It made Roxas think _I'm done too! I don't deserve this! I better than just sitting around, waiting. _

Then the song ended and _Meccas_ followed it up, the shear opposite than the one before it. Whereas Forget It, I'm Done! was angry….Meccas sounded more….hopeful, pleading. Like…_please come home, please back to me. I didn't mean what I said before, I just want you home, I miss you. _

From his spot on the bed, Roxas sighed, unsure of his feelings and what he should do or if he could do anything.

On one hand he wanted to just start sewing up his heart and on the other…on the other hand he couldn't help how his heart demanded he wait, wouldn't listen to reason and logic and just paid attention to the fact that the last postcard Axel sent had three words, _I miss you. _

For right now, Roxas decided, the singer almost desperate sounding as he sung _Where did you go? Where did you go?, _that those three words would just have to be enough for him right now. It would have to be.

---

It was January. January eighth, the first Friday back to school and Roxas was slowly making his way to class, early for once. He jolted when he felt a hand clap on his shoulder, taking out his ear bud, the singer from The Nocturnal Culpa becoming just a little tinny squeak. He was relieved to see it was just Pence grinning at him, not some mean teacher demanding he hand over his mp3 player.

Pence laughed at his thankful expression and gestured to his headphones. "Who's that? Anyone I know?"

"Actually, yeah. They're from that mix your cousin gave you, remember? The Nocturnal Culpa?"

"Oh! That one song you listened to on repeat the entire drive home?"

"Shut up. It's a good song."

The chubby brunette laughed, free and loud, causing several students to cast him a glance. "I'm just kidding. They're pretty okay. I like them but I only know that one song. Hey!" He exclaimed, face brightening in sudden revelation. "You should check to see if they're touring! If they come to the area, we could go see them. God knows I'm dying to see a concert."

Just as Roxas laughed in response, the minute bell rang and a worried look came over Pence's face. "Oh, shit! I gotta get to my class! Don't forget to look up concert dates okay?"

"Okay, I won't forget," Roxas promised, turning to walk into his classroom with a smile on his face. He hadn't thought about that before. TNC were probably awesome live, he sighed excitedly, he would kill to see them in concert. Hopefully they were touring….

The rest of the day was filled with The Nocturnal Culpa daydreams, Roxas fantasizing about meeting the band and getting their autographs and becoming friends and ohmygosh that would be so _awesome_.

The first thing on his mind when he got home was the band, all but kicking off his shoes and throwing his book bag off his shoulders to race up the steps. The computer couldn't have taken more time to load, Roxas rapping his fingers against his desk impatiently. He all but attacked his internet icon, clicking way too many time in his excitement and opening too many windows for his poor desktop to handle at once.

Excitement utterly pooled in his gut, making him smile to himself widely, even his clickity-clacking of the keys took on a frantic, nervous excitement. He really, really hoped they were touring. He wouldn't know what he would do with himself if they weren't. He typed the bands name into the first search engine he saw. The first result was a MySpace page and while Roxas deleted his account for a classier Facebook page, he clinked on the link anyway, desperate.

And fireworks went off in his head as the page loaded, taking more time than usual because the band must have had some serious background pictures, anxiety just killing him while the page took forever to load. While he waited, Roxas fished out his phone, prepared to either bare the bad news or announce touring dates close to home to Pence.

The whole process of taking out his phone from the pocket of his jeans was more difficult than it sounds because his phone was a little too big and his pants today were a little too tight. But it still only took all of twenty, in which the screen had completely loaded and Roxas eagerly took in the sight.

If fireworks were going off before, the celebration had been officially closed down due to a hail of growing confusion and disbelief, Roxas's mouth growing dry as he blinked, stunned, at the picture. It--how could--what?--it-- it was--

Axel.

He was surrounded by people Roxas didn't know, in a place Roxas didn't recognize, holding a guitar for Christ's sake!,…but it was Axel. There was no denying the sharpness of his face, the bold red of his hair, or the surprised smile on his face, green, green eyes crinkling in the corners, a look Roxas used to feel his heart swell at and still did, sitting alone in his bedroom.

He was in the middle of the picture, almost dead center while two others, a wild-eyed girl and a calm, focused looking man to his right and the grinning face of another boy taking up most of the left half of the page. From their looks, Roxas quietly figured the picture was taken suddenly, spontaneously.

But then again, Roxas wasn't really focusing on the others, more caught up with the fact that it was _Axel_ to really notice right away.

What was he doing? Why was he in the picture? How did he know these people? Who were these people in the first place? _Where_ was he? What was going on?! Brows coming together and mouth dropping, he searched Axel's still face for answers, trying to find an explanation in his happy features.

The found the answer, not in Axel's face, but above him in swirling letters.

The Nocturnal Culpa.

"_What_?" The teen shook his head, face complete disbelief at the sheer impossibility of it all. It was….It was impossible! But no matter how hard Roxas stared at his face it didn't suddenly morph into someone else who just bared his likeliness. No, it was him, tattoos, gangly form and all.

Roxas scrolled down, coming to the band info and right there, right there!, was Axel's actual name. Axel Scott -- Guitar. He didn't even know Axel played the guitar…. The scrolled back up, leaning in close to peer at his face, for the first time in months looking at him. He looked good. Happy even.

He sat back in his chair…numbed. Roxas figured that, that when he found Axel it would be a little more… climatic. Like, they would be reunited in a flash of rainbows and sparkles or something. Certainly not stumbling across the man when looking up a _band_. Certainly not when he couldn't touch him, or talk to him, or do _anything_.

The postcards Axel sent were tacked to his United States map, drawing his attention and a suspicion-taking root. Roxas scrolled down, going down until he came across the heading TOUR DATES, which didn't give him as much excitement as he thought it would. It honestly didn't seem real at all.

Axel sent him a postcard from Salt Lake City. The band had a show there. He sent one from Dinosaur and Loveland in Colorado. The band had a show in Boulder and Denver in Colorado. Roxas had one from Phoenix and, well, whaddaya know, The Nocturnal Culpa played there too. The most recent Postcard he received was from San Francisco. The band was there just a few weeks ago.

Axel wasn't sending him cards of the places he traveled to; not really, he was sending his postcards of places he traveled through, of places he had gigs in. Axel wasn't traveling the country, alone; he was….in a band? With friends, it looked like? It was all so weird, completely irrational, never in a million years would Roxas have thought of this outcome.

Instead of phoning Pence like he was going to in the beginning, Roxas called the one person who was nuts enough to make sense of this whole thing.

_Rinnnng. _

_Rinnnng. _

_Ri---_

"_Hey, buddy."_

"Get over here _right now_," Roxas stressed, cradling the phone in his hands while he gazed at Axel's smiling face. "You are not going to believe this."

---

The moment in which Sora stared at the computer screen, face totally blank as he scrolled up and down, were the most nerve wracking in his entire life, just sitting around waiting for his best friend to say the right words that would make the entire situation clear. When Sora did speak, it was slowly, as if he was piecing the words together as he said them.

"Um… I'm not… too sure… what I'm looking at here. Care to give me a hint?" Sora shrugged at Roxas's exasperated expression, giving him one of his own. "Well, what do you expect? You just drag me up here, not even telling me what's up and make me look at your computer. I mean, what? Do you have a virus? Or…do you really like this band? What?"

"It's _Axel_," Roxas groaned, placing his face in his hands. "It's Axel. In the picture."

Sora frowned, taken back, before looking back at the picture at the very top of the page. "The redhead?"

"Yeah…"

The brunette nodded several times, eyebrows shooting upward, impressed. "He's kinda hot."

Roxas shot a scathing glare toward the other boy. "Don't look at him like that! He's not some piece of meat!"

"I'm just sayin'! Ya know….You said he was cute but wow, he's cute."

The blond groaned. "Can we stay on topic, please? I don't think you get this. That's Axel. _The_ Axel."

"No, I get it. He's that guy you had a thing with. I just don't see why it's such a big deal," Sora slowly said, one eyebrow raised like he was talking to an idiot. "I mean, congrats and all. This is awesome, you found him. Right?"

"No!" Roxas cried, eyes toward the sky. "This is terrible. I mean, I mean. Why wouldn't he have told me this? That's kind've something you tell people."

Sora clicked his tongue a few times, decidedly calm against Roxas's frantic attitude. He was silent, scrolling down the page and putting the pieces together. "Well… didn't you say he's from Boston?"

"Yeah," came Roxas's muffled voice. In his own exasperation, the teen flopped back on the bed, face first into a pillow. Sora decided not to remark about how he was acting and rolled his eyes instead.

"Well the band's from Boston. Maybe it's one of the things he left behind and it just… maybe he just didn't want to talk about it 'cause it hurt or something…." the brunette said and added, with a thoughtful frown. "Maybe that means he went back to Boston."

"But why would he go back to Boston?" Roxas asked, lifting himself up and turning to look at Sora with wide eyes because what the teen was saying actually made _sense_. "He hates it there."

"I don't know!" Sora huffed, tucking a piece of hair behind his ear. "I don't know the guy. But I bet it was because of you. Poor guy. To be hurt so much you'd want to go to the one place that made you want to leave in the first place. Probably didn't have many options. I know that if someone broke my heart I'd come running to you." He considered the picture thoughtfully. "Looks like that's what he did."

Slowly, Roxas rose to a sitting position, clutching his pillow to him, facing away from his friend. Everything Sora said…made sense. Why didn't he think of that? Axel had told him that he wanted to go home but was too afraid of what might have changed to actually do it. It would make sense for Axel to go home, if you thought about it that way. "…You think?"

"Well, he's there," Sora pointed out sarcastically. "He's in the band. From the looks of it, he's having a great time." Sora took a deep breath, worried look coming over his face as he spoke softly. "Hey… I know you two had a thing during the summer but… I just… I don't think it's good for you to continue freaking out over this. It's been months. He's moving on so…you should too," he suggested gently.

Roxas wouldn't have it, turning quickly to gape at him. "What? How--how could I? I mean, the postcards--"

"The postcards?" Sora echoed, confusion written over his face.

"Yeah the postcards! How can you even say that? If Axel was---was moving on why would he find me and, and send me postcards?" Roxas asked frantically but more to himself than to Sora. "If he wanted to move on why would he keep in touch with me? Why would he tell me he missed me? Why would he do that if he wanted to move on? Why would anyone do that?"

"What postcards?!"

"Those postcards!" The blond pointed dramatically toward his map. "Those fucking postcards! Why would he send them?! Do you think he's leading me on?" Roxas was going into hysterics, having not even thought of that before but now that he had, Roxas couldn't get the thought out of his head. What if Axel was just leading him on? A big hotshot with his own band and friends and fans… was he just some groupie now? Did it count if he had met Axel before he was in the band? Or was he just one drop in the bucket? Surely, Axel had people throwing themselves on him all the time… was he just keeping in touch so when he got into town he could have a booty call? What a jerk!

While Roxas was freaking out, Sora had moving to go inspect the map, taking down the postcards and flipping them over, inspecting them with a keen eye and wincing, feeling like a dick. "Hey, buddy," the brunette looked over, saw Roxas was still staring at his carpet in despair. Sora looked back from the lopsided heart on the back of the postcard to the computer screen back to Roxas. "Uh."

"I just--" Roxas inhaled sharply and exhaled loudly. "I just really, really _hoped _that, that, _you know? _I figured--" he deflated, sighing and staring out his window. "I don't know what I figured."

"…How long have been getting these?" Sora asked quietly while Roxas's lip quivered and he sniffed loudly, wiping his nose.

"Since, like, October."

"October?! Ok, listen Rox," Sora started in, wide eyed, trying to fix this entire situation because he was stupid and Roxas was stupid and everybody was so fuckin' stupid to let it this out of hand. "First; you should have told me about all this in the beginning. I swear to god Rox! This is the sort of thing you tell your best friend."

"I knowwww," Roxas moaned, sounding small and fragile, clutching his pillow to him like it was his last lifeline.

"Second! Ohmygod! If someone sends you postcards of freakin' Loveland, Colorado, I think that means you're more than a summer fling, Rox! Ohmygod! This really _is_ one of those romance novels!"

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"If someone goes out of their way to find the person who broke their heart and try to reach out and, and, put freaking a heart on the back," he waved the postcard back and forth pointedly. "I think that means he still really, really likes you, Roxas. I mean, I wouldn't try to find you if you did that to me!"

Roxas sniffed, looking at him with watery eyes, swallowing a lump in his throat as he said, hopefully, "You mean it?"

"Yeah! I would punch you the face before I would do this!" Sora sighed, pushing his hair back. "I'm sorry I said that, before. I didn't know he was doing this… I think, I think he really does miss you. If anything all this means he doesn't want to lose you, or something."

The blond wiped his eyes, taking a few calm breaths. That made sense…. "You think?"

"I don't know," Sora laughed, taking the few steps that brought him to where Roxas sat. "But, but I know that you really like him and I think he still really likes you, so, so, go see him!" A small, hopeful smile spread over Sora's lips. "Go see him when he comes to town. What better way to say 'I love you too' than to show up and actually say it to him? You have the chance now," he said, gesturing to the computer. "Just do it! Just go there and see him and then you'll know for sure if you two are meant to be, okay?"

A few more deep breaths and a few more moments passed of Roxas staring at his clenched hands. That sounded like a really good idea, right? "Y-yeah…yeah. Okay."

----

But then March came and though Axel was in Traverse, even though Sora told him again and again that he had to go, even though Olette said she would drag him there by his hair when he told her, even though _Hayner_ quietly encouraged him, Roxas was sitting at home, looking at Axel's still, smiling face when 7:30 rolled by and the show began.

It wasn't that he didn't not want to see him, he did, he really, really did. But….it was scary. The prospect of seeing him was scary and overwhelming and made him freak out every time he thought about it.

What would he say? Roxas daydreamed about their meeting at least seven times a day. And in each of his daydreams he said something witty and Axel would kiss him and everything would be great and perfect and they would finally have that happy ending.

And then Roxas would remind himself that this was real life and he always got nervous during confrontations and he would probably ruin it before it even began.

So…Roxas just stayed home.

---

Concerts weren't that big of a deal, not really. It was just fun and felt like walking on clouds or something when the people in the audience screamed and sang along. It was fun and Axel was never really nervous about it, not really.

However, tonight he was a wreck, sweating even before they climbed onstage to open for a band they knew pretty well and liked. His heart was thrumming fast and his mouth was continually dry. He thought he was going to faint when he strapped on his guitar and would have if Demyx hadn't taken him to the side, given him some water and told him to get his head together, and he better fucking do it quick.

It wasn't that the venue was huge or that it was sold out. It wasn't that a journalist was there to write a review. It wasn't that they were doing a brand new song that Axel wrote. It wasn't that he got a haircut and thought it made him look stupid. He wasn't nervous because of any of those but they did contribute.

They were in Traverse.

_Traverse_.

Axel did his homework. He knew that Traverse was just an hour or two away, depending on where you came from, from _Twilight Town_.

_Roxas_ lived in Twilight Town.

He also liked _music_.

Maybe, maybe, just maybe, he was here to see Jackie's Doll, a more popular band that fit in with Roxas's selective taste. Maybe he was here and Roxas would see Axel and Axel would see him and they would have a moment and then Roxas would just _know_.

The lights were bright but Axel could still see out to the audience of about three hundred people and he searched throughout the entire first song, looking for messy blond hair and blue eyes, perpetual pout on his lips. He searched through the breaks, though the next song and then the next.

After they preformed the new song, which everyone did _perfectly_, it was just how he wanted it to sound, Axel had to admit to himself that Roxas just wasn't there…

---

The next time The Nocturnal Culpa came to Traverse it was on June 12th. It coincided with the summer Struggle tournament.

This time around, Roxas didn't go about announcing they were coming to the area, in fact he didn't talk about it all. Instead, he just stared at the tour dates for days, mouse hovering just above the button to buy tickets.

In the end, he did end up going to Traverse.

For the Struggle tournament.

It was more important, Roxas told himself, and Hayner would be upset if he missed another one, and…. He just couldn't, he couldn't, not now, not yet.

---

Roxas spent the month of July in Sedona. The heat was almost welcoming now that he was better prepared. He did this and that at the motel, usually just sitting at the desk for a few hours. He hung out with Yuffie, went to dinners with his Dad and every moment that wasn't spent doing those previously mentioned three things, Roxas was walking around town with a camera he bought, taking pictures of places he liked and remembered from last year.

He wanted to find that place Axel always took him to go watch the sun set and to gaze up at the stars but he didn't remember too well and figured he would get lost before he would find it and end up dying of thirst.

Axel didn't magically appear and Roxas kicked himself for even entertaining the thought.

---

Senior year. Roxas let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, looking up at the school he spent most of his days in for the past three years. This would be his last year here and then he was a grown up. It seemed really silly to him but it was true.

This would be his last year and the thought freaked him out more than he thought he would. He still skateboarded a lot and he still spent too much time looking at the pictures The Nocturnal Culpa posted up (He missed his chance to them concert as they hadn't posted up any new dates in awhile) but now he had another thing to do; worry about his future.

What was he gonna do now? Was he going to college? What he would do when he got there? What would he major in? What was he going to _do_ with his life? Last year he laughed when Riku talked about college, now he listened in earnest whenever he came by, soaked up as much advice as he could. Sora was going to Traverse U without a doubt. Pence was applying to local art schools and to those stationed across the country. Olette wasn't sure what she wanted to do but she figured she might as well go to college. Hayner… Hayner had been getting phone calls from Storm Rider. They wanted to 'talk' to him when he graduated.

All of his friends were focusing on their future and Roxas just stared at his computer all the time, listening to music he never saw live and waiting for postcards he pored over. The most recent one was from New York and it had a photo of the empire state building and a hand drawn gorilla on the top, roaring.

On the back was a large heart with the words iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou repeated over and over in the space inside. It made Roxas's own heart swell and he had no trouble admitting to himself he was falling in love all over again with a person on paper.

---

While Roxas was doing homework and skateboarding in his senior year, Axel and the band were in the recording studio for the months October to late Febuary, their producer Luxord doing everything he could to make it perfect. Because 13 Records was small and self-run by people who knew what they were doing, it wasn't about royalties and how many units they might sell, it was about the music and the fans and _the band_.

They didn't worry about getting on TV or in the hippest magazine to promote their music. Instead, they were going to tour constantly to spread the word by mouth. The only reason they were stopping now was because they wanted to make another CD, called, just like he and Demyx joked about in the beginning, Tales From the Modern Nomad.

And Axel loved it. Holding songs he poured his heart and soul into in his hand, in a little seven-inch CD, it was the most euphoric feeling he had ever had in his life. The entire CD read like a map if the two years he spent on the road, songs about being lonely, in love, hurt, rejected, they were _him_. He wasn't too proud to admit it, but quite a few were about a blond kid he met in a dusty little town in the south.

He wondered, late at night in his room in Demyx's apartment in Boston, if Roxas would like the CD. It wasn't anything like Jupiter's STARGAZING but maybe, just maybe, if he had it in his hands he would like it. And with that thought in the middle of the night, Axel shot up, more awake than he'd ever been.

The CD he had with all the new stuff didn't even have album art, no fancy design on the CD, it didn't even have their name on it but it had what mattered. The redhead scratched out on a piece of paper the track names and the name of the band.

He slipped on a pair of pants, CD in hand and went to go find the nearest post office, sure he was either doing the smartest thing yet or the stupidest, pulling down every wall and every protective barrier he had and left himself completely venerable with the act of putting a postage stamp on thick envelope.

---

Olette, Sora and Roxas were sitting on the floor of the latter's bedroom, all of them staring down a thick brown envelope package. The former two, Olette and Sora were exchanging worried, wide eyes looks while Roxas's never left the package, lip being brutalized as he chewed on it thoughtfully.

Olette kept raising her eyebrows and pointedly looking at him and Sora would glare back, raising his own eyebrows and looking at her pointedly. When she puckered her lips together, scrunching her face in warning, Sora spoke in a whisper. "What do you think is in there?"

Roxas glanced up briefly before looking back down. "I dunno…."

Sora exchanged another glance with Olette and this time she spoke. "Well, it's---it's from _him_, right?"

Roxas nodded, not even look at her as he let go of his lips and stared chewing on the inside of his cheek. "Yeah… Yeah, it has his name on it. Boston."

"So, so that means he definitely went back home. That's good," Sora ventured, trying to get a real response form his friend.

"Yeah…"

"Jesus Christ just open it!" Olette exclaimed, groaning. "You guys are such wimps, just do it, like ripping off a band-aid!" When Roxas just stared down at it more she sighed, frustrated and made to grab it. "Fine! I'll do it!"

Just as her hands touched it Roxas realized what she said and grabbed it too, resulting in a tug-of-war over the thick envelope. "No! It's mine, don't touch it! You're gonna rip it."

Undeterred, Olette pulled back, gritting her teeth as Roxas did the same, scowling, "That's the point, you idiot!

Sora sat back with wide, overwhelmed eyes, not saying anything.

"Just let go Olette!

"Just open it!"

"I'll open it when I want to ope--"

_SHRRRCK._

Both teens fell back harshly when the envelope ripped into two, both of them staring in horror at what happened.

Roxas freaked.

"See! See what you did Olette! You should have just let go!"

"Let go? _You_ could have let go!"

"I shouldn't have had to!"

"GUYS," Sora said loudly, holding both his hands up. The brunette girl and blond teen looked over to him, like they forgot he was there. "Who cares? It's open, problem solved."

Roxas breathed a few calming breaths, looking at the larger half of the package held in a tight grip in his hands. Something was wrapped up in foamy packaging paper. He extracted it slowly, both of his friends watching him intently as he started to unwrap it. Roxas exhaled a long, sad breath as he finished, eyes roaming the circular disk.

THe NoCTurNal CuLPa: TaLeS FrOM THe MODerN NOMaD, read at the top in messy letters, some lowercased and some not like it was done really, really fast. A piece of paper fluttered to the floor, catching his attention. His heart jumped, wondering if it was a real, actual letter.

But it wasn't.

When his eyebrows came together in confusion, Olette looked over his shoulder, reading it. Her own thin brows came together. "What is that? Is that….Is that a song listing?"

Roxas sounded breathless, looking at the disk with new eyes. "Yeah…"

Sora met his eyes, a smile starting to form on his lips. "He sent you his CD, Roxas."

The smile on the blonde's face could not have been wider and he spoke with unbridled affection in his voice, close to tears, to screaming, to laughing as loud as possible. "Yeah…Yeah, he did, didn't he?"

"He did!"

"What does that mean?" He asked them, tracing his finger over the mismatched letters; Axel's handwriting.

"Who knows," Olette said, smiling widely now as well. "But, I dunno, I think this is a definite, ya know, 'here I am'. He doesn't know you already know, I bet he thought that by doing this you would be able to find him or something. See him in concert or something."

"He wants you come see him Roxas," Sora said, conviction his words. "What else could it mean? All along he's been saying the same things. I love you, I love you, I miss you, I wish you were here, I'm sorry, I forgive you, _Roxas this is your chance."_

It was, wasn't it? Axel had jumped the barrier between them, was metaphorically reaching out to him, hand outstretched and just waiting for Roxas to do the same.

Axel had done and said everything he could, everything that mattered.

Now all Roxas had to do was get over himself, to do the same even though it was scary and made Goosebumps appear all over his skin and made his gut clench to terribly at the mere thought of it.

Because he was in real life and things like this never happen to people like him, successful conclusions weren't given out _ever_, and even though you thought it might work, it never would. It couldn't. Even though Roxas wanted no one else but a really tall redhead who had a cool car and nothing but hope and love the actually possibility that it would all work out in the end was zilch.

And getting your heart broke happened all the time.

…But. It was okay to hope a little bit, right? He could hope just a tiny little bit, right?

---

Axel Scott grew up in Boston. It was his home, more or less. Even though since he came back to the city he hadn't gone _home_ home, Axel felt like he was home, that this was home again and he had a place where he was wanted, needed. He liked meeting new people, enjoyed listening to them go on and on about their new CD, about how much they liked it. He loved touring around the tri-state area and he loved spending time with his friends probably more than anything.

It was May and the signs of summer were everywhere. The bright sun, flowers, birds signing, the collective sigh of every school age person. The grass was a healthy green, fluffy white clouds interrupting the wide expanse of blue. The stars were brighter now.

Summer found Axel with his duffle bag packed, keys in hand.

Yeah, he loved Boston. But… he had somewhere else he needed to be.

---

_This was it, _Roxas thought, dressed in a dark gown and a cap on, as he watched his classmates walk across the stage, everyone clapping as their names were called. He watched as Olette's name was called and knew that soon his would be too.

But standing up there, in his best dress shoes and his hair combed as best as he could get it, it didn't seem real. Did he really just graduate high school? Was he really being handed his diploma and shaking his principle's hand? Was it all really over?

Roxas sat back down and watched as all of his friends were called up as well, something akin to shock in his bones.

High school was over.

He couldn't believe it. Just when he thought he'd have to walk those halls forever, listen to his teachers drone on and on until the end of time. He figured he would be ecstatic about it really being over. But… he was kinda sad. This would be the last time he would see most these faces, probably. He would never make any more memories with them, or share a joke with them.

It was really over, just as the last person was called up and they were given words of encouragement for their futures and everyone pulled off their caps and threw them upward, laughing. Roxas kept his in his hands, feeling the tassel and the sharp edges.

His parents took him out to dinner, and his Dad said how proud of him he was, and his Mom and Fynn echoed him. Roxas started to think that graduating was a good thing from the way they kept smiling at him. After he was too full, Roxas was granted permission to go to Sora's.

"I can't believe it," Sora said, both of them sitting on his roof under the darkening sky.

"Me either."

"It feels just like yesterday I was walking through those big doors for the first time. God, what am I gonna do with my time?" Sora laughed. "There's so many hours in the day now. Gosh, I never thought that thought would be scary but it is."

"Right?" Roxas lay back, looking up at the bright moon and tiny, tiny twinkling stars around it. "I never thought this day would _actually come_. Now I _have_ to figure out what I'm gonna do with my life. I just wanna live in my room for the rest of my life," he whined, laughing. "Wouldn't that be the life?"

Sora snorted. "Not me. When I get out of here, I'm getting out of here. I'm never gonna come back." Roxas nodded thoughtfully.

"What are you gonna do?"

The brunette shrugged, leaning back on his hands, legs shooting straight out. "I dunno. I wouldn't mind just getting out of this town, ya know? See some other place for once. I'm tired of this place."

"Maybe…" Roxas licked his lips, thinking. "Maybe, before I officially become an 'adult', maybe I could… you know, go around. See places like you said."

Sora was quiet for a while, thinking. "…Like Axel did?"

"Yeah… I think I would like to see some places," Roxas elaborated. "Just see things not everyone sees. It's one thing to have a postcard and another to actually go there, see it with your own eyes, touch it." It sounded like a good plan to him, it sounded like an adventure and exciting.

Sora chewed on his words before he said them, bringing up a topic that was well discussed over the past few months, ever since Roxas got that CD in the mail. "Are you… Would you stop in Boston?" He was implying, of course, if Roxas would finally find Axel now that he had no excuses not to. Roxas was stalling, insecurities and worries keeping him from putting even one foot forward.

Roxas cocked his head, considering the stars while he thought about it. It had been almost two years now. A lot could change in two years…. But what did he have left to lose? "…Maybe. I might make a stop there."

Sora nodded, smiling softly to himself since he figured that it was as close to a yes as he was ever going to get. "…Well," he said, meeting Roxas's eyes. "Make sure you send me a postcard."

---

It was the morning after he walked across the stage, when he awoke to the bright light coming through his window he was officially not a high school student anymore. It was weird as hell, knowing he'd never have any reason go back to that place again. For a long moment, Roxas just stared up at his ceiling, the only reason to get up today being hanging out with his friends later. He sighed deeply, calm, the anxiety of yesterday gone with the day itself.

It was…invigorating.

He took his first shower as a non-high school student, brushed his teeth and combed his hair, thinking '_I'm not a high school student anymore'_. He got dressed for the first time being a non-highschool-er. Ate a breakfast slowly, knowing he didn't have to rush to get to school on time anymore. Soon he would be going to hang out with his non-high school-er friends.

"Roxas!" His mother called as she came down the stairs, putting on her earrings. "Go grab the mail for me would you? I have to get to my students graduations in pretty soon."

While Roxas really wanted to tell her he was not a high schooler and didn't have to do that anymore, he kept his mouth closed. Though he did remark as he stepped out the door about how strange it was kindergarteners needed a graduation ceremony in order to make the transition to being a first grader.

The sun was shining brightly, the birds were twittering in the trees, and the lawn looked like it needed mowing. What was usually a terrible observation, because he _always_ had to mow the lawn, actually made him happy, to know that he had the time _to_ mow the lawn and _still_ be able to have enough time left to do whatever he wanted.

Roxas wasn't wearing shoes or real clothes, preferring to just slip on his gym shorts and a shirt he usually used for sleeping in. This is what people who didn't need to go to school wear, he thought, proud he fit into the category now. He stayed in the grass area of the lawn as he approached the mailbox, keeping away from pebbles and the like that would embed themselves in his feet.

Roxas clicked his tongue slightly as he extracted the numerous envelopes and the magazines they received from the mailman earlier in the day, taking his time going through them since, well, didn't have to go to school and _could_ take his time. Bills, bills, Mom, Fynn, magazine, bills, Roxas smile widely as he uncovered the next article, _me_.

The postcard this time read on the front 'Wish you were here' and then 'BOSTON'. Roxas smile dampened a little. He'd never gotten one from Boston before. Axel lived in Boston. Maybe this time he actually said something on the back, like 'hey, how are you? I miss you, come visit me at blank blank blank. I would really like to see you'.

But, as usual, there was no message on the back.

But what was on the back made Roxas furrow his eyebrows together, wrinkles developing in his brow as he tried to figure it out. It was…it was….

A car.

But not just any car, oh no. It was a very well kept 1962 Cadillac Eldorado, painted a shiny black with leather seats and a cloth top and ran exceptionally well, engine that purred like a kitten. Definitely 'not a piece of shit'. A picture of a black 1962 Cadillac Eldorado that was decidedly not a piece of shit was taped to the back of the postcard from Boston from Axel.

Confused, he looked at the picture some more, trying to figure out if there was indeed anything to figure out. The top was down, the car vacant, it looked like a bag or something was in the back seat. But where was it taken? He squinted at it, seeing a house behind it, very suburban style, modern with a paved driveway….light blue shutters…brick stairs leading up to the door. Dark green lawn that needed mowing.

_That's my house! _

Roxas looked up, comparing the real thing to the photograph, and there was no way it someone else's house. It was his, no doubt about that. What was Axel doing with a picture of his house? What was Axel's car---

Blue eyes shot up to the surrounding houses of the cul-de-sac, wide because, because! The grass tickled his feet as he turned full circle, searching for a black car, a person with bright red hair and--

Green, green eyes that looked like they could see into his soul, read his mind without even trying. Angular face, powerful jaw line and tattoos forever sitting under his eyes, small smile pulling on his lips as he leaned against the trunk of his car.

_Axel_.

The mail fluttered to the grass as Roxas's hands forgot how to hold onto them, as he stared wide-eyed and mouth slack at _Axel_ in his plain white t-shirt and simple dark jeans staring at him. The tall man licked his lips nervously and took a step forward, becoming closer to the teen than he had in almost two years.

For Roxas it was overwhelming, _too_ overwhelming and he was _confused_ and wasn't sure what this _meant_ and what did it _mean_? He took a step back, shaking his head and clenching his eyes closed. No way, no way. His hair didn't look good and he didn't have deodorant on and he was wearing his gym shorts and the shirt he wore to bed! He wasn't ready for this!

When he stopped freaking out and opened his eyes, peaking out under his bangs, Axel was in the same place was before, only one step forward. But his face was pulled into a shocked expression, taken back, something like desperation behind his wide eyes as his mouth opened and closed.

Axel stumbled over his words, looking away from the blond and to the sidewalk a he stepped backward, retaking the step he gained. "I--I-- God, I-- I'm sorry," he whispered, choking on his own ragged breath. "I'm sorry-- I won't--" he inhaled a breath sharply, turning away quickly, walking briskly toward the front of the car.

Roxas's heart was beating erratically, adrenaline making everything go fast. Axel was leaving, Axel was leaving. He couldn't leave, he just got here and Roxas had a lot to say, about how much he missed him, how much he loved the CD the older man sent him, about he cried when he listened to _Summer Boy_, about how he loved _Into the Mountains With You, _about how many times he thought about going to him but just couldn't bring himself to_. _

"I kept every single one of your postcards!" he blurted loudly, breathing shallow. Axel stopped walking away but didn't turn to look at him. "I kept everything you touched," Roxas laughed breathily and sort of felt like he was pleading. "I've thought about you every single day. I am _so sorry _Axel. I shouldn't have said those things I--"

"Was freaking about going home?" Axel asked quietly, back still turned to the teen but his head was angled toward him slightly.

Roxas felt like he wanted to cry, just hearing his voice. "Yeah," he choked out. "Yeah."

Another moment passed in which Roxas really thought Axel was going to get into his car and leave. However, it passed and slowly Axel turned, looking at the ground before his bright green eyes shot up to Roxas's blue and held them, looking at him for a long drawn out moment.

The sun shined, the birds chirped and Axel spoke, voice thick, "It's okay. I forgave you a long while ago. I love you, you know?"

The sidewalk was riddled with sticks and stones that hurt his feet as he crossed the distance between him and Axel, barely a foot away and closer that he'd ever been in two years. Axel was close enough to touch so Roxas reached out and touched his face, thumb rubbing over his tattoo for a moment.

He had the greenest eyes and for once Roxas thought _he_ could see into Axel, could see what he was thinking, worrying, what he thought when Roxas took that step back, how long Axel had wanted to be with him, how he sometimes thought it was never going to happen, how he sometimes thought that the teen didn't want him at all, how much Axel just wanted to kiss him.

It wasn't perfect but it was Axel's lips and it was his lips and they were touching like how they used to touch. Axel's hands on his hips were a comforting weight, proof that he was really there. It wasn't rain pouring down on them but warm sunshine. While it wasn't two years ago but in the present, Roxas felt very much the same he did then except for this time, he said the words that he thought when they broke apart, breathless even though it was such an innocent, simple kiss.

"I love you."

And Axel pulled him forward again, crushed his lips against his again like he needed it as much as he did air in his lungs, holding him like he would never let go. And Roxas's actions matched his.

---

The sunset behind the Brooklyn Bridge made the city shine and Roxas let out a whisper of amazement at the wonder of it all. It wasn't just that the sunset was pretty but how it made everything look better, more welcoming and friendly than intimidating as he always thought New York as.

Beside him, Axel grinned, eyes crinkling behind his huge sunglasses and his red hair moving slightly in the breeze that only faintly smelled of smog. The radio was on, some song that faded into the background of their life. "How do you like it?

"I love it," Roxas answered truthfully. But he loved everything they've seen so far so it wasn't exactly saying much.

Axel himself looked at the sunset, having not much else to do as they were stuck behind a mile of unmoving cars. "Yeah, yeah, it's pretty spectacular, isn't it?"

The blond looked away from the brilliant colors and looked at Axel instead, smiling as he laid his head on the seat. "Yeah. Pretty spectacular. I'm pretty lucky." Axel looked over, mouth open as if he had something to say but forgot as he noticed how Roxas was looking at him. He smiled shyly, laughing as he realized what Roxas said.

"Yeah, " he whispered lowly as he leaned over, face coming closer and closer to him. "You're, uh, you're pretty goddamn lucky if I do say so myself." Roxas closed his eyes, moved to meet him in the middle, and would have but--

_Hey, there Delilah, what's it like in New York City? I'm a thousand miles away but girl, tonight you look so pretty, yes, you do. _

Axel gasped, eyes widening comically behind his sunglasses, turning to gape at the stereo. "I love this song, Roxas!"

In a quick movement, Roxas hit the button on the stereo, effectively turning off the distraction, and slid the distance between them, hands holding Axel's surprised face as he pressed their lips together forcefully; putting all the passion he could into the short, simple kiss. When they broke apart, Roxas remained close, looking into Axel's eyes even though they were hidden by those atrocious sunglasses and kissed him again in the middle of traffic, hundreds around them, possibly watching and sneering or whatever they did.

He didn't care, not about them, not about what they thought, he just cared that he had three months of this, sunshine on his skin and Axel's lips against his. Roxas had three months of touring the country with Axel, of meeting his friends and Axel meeting _his_ friends and watching him play and being with him constantly.

Roxas had three months of an everlasting summer with the only person he wanted to spend it with before he had to start college in Boston.

* * *

Back in July at the very beginning when I first posted this I said that it was going to be four chapters and 12,000 words at best. At the end Summer Boy has 15 chapters and over 140,000 words. Needless to say I outdid my expectations, created something I poured my heart into, made something I am _so_ proud of, typos, grammar errors and all. During this I learned that no matter what you never make the deadlines you set for yourself and that you should never do two stories at the same time because one will get less love. Summer Boy was not the one with less love. This was my baby and I terribly sad to see that its done. DONE. I don't know what i'm going to do with myself from now on. I'm going to miss this terribly, going to miss everyone who ever reviewed, going to miss writing it and attempting to edit it and the world I made. I'm such a sap, you really don't need to read this, I'm just blubbering now.

I made a playlist to go with this as I said before, since it's very musically inspired and the link is up in my profile. The Nocturnal Culpa in my mind was meant to mean 'The guilt of the night' and was inspired by the Felix Culpa, Empires, Manchester Orchestra, and The Dear Hunter. Jupiter, Roxas's favorite band, was inspired by my favorite band Something Corporate and I too own two of every CD they made, (expect for Songs for Silent Movies which was released in Japan only and cost an arm and leg) and they sadly don't produce any more music but are getting back together for the next bamboozle concert in California which I can not go to. ANYWAY. yeah. Songs from this chapter include Anti-Anti by Snowden, Hey There Delilah by Plain White Tees. Jackie's Doll is what I sometimes call Jack's Mannequin, another band that I ADORE. (singer from Something Corporate is the singer in Jacks Mannequin) and Lovely Zombies and Summer boy by The NOcturnal Culpa which is a made up band.

The story was always named after that song. Always. at the beginning it was an angry/pleading song and then it became an purely angry song and just recently I realized that would not do. Summer Boy HAD to be a love song. It could be no other way. The story could end no other way, either. I always wanted it to end like this, purely because I am a closet romantic and think that love is always within your grasp, you just have to reach for it. Hope, hope, hope and one day things will work out.

I AM SO SORRY I DID NOT REPLY TO YOUR REVIEWS. I know I asked for some reviews to get 150 but actually receiving them blew my mind. And kinda freaked me out a little, ahaha. but nevertheless THANK YOU SO MUCH to everyone who read this, to people who've been with me since July, to those of you who are just reading this now. Thank you so much. I say this all the time but really, without you Summber Boy would have been four chapters and 12,000 words long. really, thank you.

For those of you who like this, I'm going to write a oneshot next of axel/roxas which will be entirely different and just a little longer than the length of this chapter. short, right? ahahh. But yeah. There's a summary of it in my profile along with the rest of the line up. OH GOD this authors note is LONG. I gotta stop blabbering. I'll leave you to it. I'll see you (?) in a month when (22) comes out.

**Please, please, please review**! :] Imma miss you guys.


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